Quantcast
Destructoid - GuuZilla's Community Blog




About Me
Gamer Profile
3DS friend code:
Steam:
Battle:
PSN: GuuZilla
Mii: GuuZilla
Gamertag: K3nd3rk1n
Following (1)
Elsa
As Written By: Legal Notice - The L Block Lawsuit
GuuZilla | 7:30 PM on 07.15.2009 6 comments


From: Romanofski, Abiju & Miffler Law Offices


To Whom It May Concern:

This letter is a writ of intent, declaring a pending lawsuit made by our client The 3, 2 Shape, more commonly known as "The 'L' Block", against your client, the game of Tetris. The basis of said lawsuit are as follows:

*Intentional misrepresentation of clients' usefulness in said game. Client is either too tall or too wide to be useful in the majority of situations when a T Block or S Block would suffice. Also as a matter of record, client is too short for majority of situations when an I Block would suffice. This alludes to intent to misrepresent the client as useful in the game.

*Willfully forcing the client onto the player in situations where there is no acceptable place to put the client, causing the player to be forced to miss lines.

*Forcing the client to retain its less useful form when it attempted to change its form to the Right Angle Block of two by two blocks attached at a hinge.



For these infringements against our client and for other similar allegations of defamation of character, our client is seeking reparations in the amount of 260,008,000 points, or roughly 500 points per line of Tetris botched by the average player. Also expected are the inclusion of fireworks, a Russian orchestra, and a rocket launch. The location and destination of the launch are unimportant. If you or your client wish to discuss anything regarding this lawsuit, contact our offices, not our client. Any attempt to contact our client will be viewed as menacing and will be added to the list of charges.

Good Day,
Howard H Miffler
Romanofski, Abiju & Miffler Law Offices



Is this post awesome? Vote it up!

0



Post a comment! You can also post a photo below:

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

5 comments | showing # 1 to 5
prev next

Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/15/2009 19:40
Elsa
A Russian orchestra?? Let the negotiations begin!... would Canadian chipmunks humming a tune in key be acceptable?
GuuZilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/15/2009 20:12
GuuZilla
I do believe that the client wanted a philharmonic, but if one of the chipmunks is named Phil and he sings harmonically, then really it's just semantics. The client will not bend on the rocket launch though. Very adamant about the launch.
njsykora's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/15/2009 22:37
njsykora
OK, this is freaking hilarious. Stupid L block.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/16/2009 10:13
Elsa
Check. Ok, so we've established that the Canadian singing chipmunks can replace the Russian orchestra, provided 3 of the chipmunks are named Phillip (Phil), Harlan (Har) and Monica.

Now... regarding that rocket launch... can we just give you some girlie magazines and you make your own? I read the rumors on the bathroom wall and understand that it truly is quite spectacular! (and if you turn down this offer now... well, we'll have to wonder! LOL!)
GuuZilla's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 02:41
GuuZilla
No, Ma'am. The client was very specific that the rocket launch has to be an actual rocket. Otherwise I was going to suggest running around with a model and making loud wooshing noises. Also, the client is adding a request for three orders of nachos bellgrande for additional grievances. When, dear God, will my job as a lawyer end. Council is yours, PD Elsa.
prev next

Comment with Facebook





Click connect and comment instantly!

Comment with Dtoid





New? SIGN UP - it takes 5 seconds

Comments policy

Destructoid is an open discussion community. You don't need to "audition" to post a comment - just speak your mind. We respect differing opinions on the site, so have at it. Be smart, funny, insightful, clueless, or cute -- but back it up with substance. Keep your cool, keep it fun. We only ask that you act respectfully and above all: don't be a troll and ruin it for everyone else. Don't bring down gamers or we'll, you know, gently shoot you in the face and stuff you into a flaming mailbox. Each comment is your opportuntity to make this community awesomer. Is that even a word?

Avoiding the banhammer only requires common sense: spamming, trolling, racism, NSFW stuff, and other forms of sucking will not be tolerated. If anyone is griefing please report abuse. Be good. Don't suck!