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About Me
Previous posts:

Frontpaged:
May Community Monthly Musing Recap
My expertise: Memorization, obsession and Star Fox 64 (Monthly Musing)
I suck at games: Confessions of an Item Hoarder (Monthly Musing)

Regular Articles:
Why Kinect Will Fail: The Name.
My own Listblog, but with some interesting categories.
(Relatively) Short Blog: Environment in Red Dead Redemption
Dr. Samit, or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love SPORTS! (Monthly Musing)
The Airport: Last Refuge of the Arcade?
Ranking the Zelda series from my own memories
An Essay/Review of a Canadian History video game
8-bit remixes of Gundam music!
Rental Recollections: 7-7-7
Maniac Mansion: The TV Show

One Song...Many Remixes:
Volume 1: Mega Man X, Intro Stage

Video Game Mind Teasers (on hiatus until site upgrade)
Volume 15: Missing Edition
Volume 14: Touch Fuzzy Edition
Volume 13: SONIC EDITION!!!
Volume 12: Continuing Edition
Volume 11: Back to the Beginning Edition
Volume 10: Prizes Edition!
9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1.

My videos:
Bit Transmission!
Guile's Theme + They Live!

Community Activities:
Destructoid: A YouTube Search Story
HAPPY 4TH BIRTHDAY DESTRUCTOID!

Podcasts:
History in Video Games: Roundtable Podcast

Personal Stuff:
Getting some classic SNES games!
Getting Mega Man Complete Works!

Deliberate Failtoid:
Why Battlefield 1943 is the worst game EVER!



Age: 23
Location: Ottawa, ON, Canada.

Profile: I'm a longtime gamer, and started playing video games during the transition from the NES to the SNES. Although I like retro games, I play mostly newer games on the 360. Still, my favourite gaming memories are from all-nighters filled with Goldeneye, Perfect Dark and Smash Bros. in the late 90s.

I'm looking for a career in public service, politics or other fields where research and writing are critical. Though, the closer it's related to games, the better.

I make videos, animated gifs, podcasts and all kinds of random stuff in my spare time. I'm also trying to develop my own gaming website (details coming eventually).

Systems: NES, Super NES, Gameboy, Gameboy Advance, Nintendo 64, Wii, Sega Genesis, Playstation 2, Xbox 360, PC, Colecovision (my dad's). Also, many other systems (including arcade) that I not emulate.

Some Favourite Games:
Retro (NES-SNES eta): Megaman 3, Super Mario World, Super Mario All-Stars, Sonic 3, Final Fantasy VI, Chrono Trigger, Robotrek, Illusion of Gaia, Megaman X, Lufia 1 and 2, Strider, Metal Slug, Twilight Zone pinball.

Retro Limbo (N64 era): Ogre Battle 64, Banjo-Kazooie, Banjo-Tooie, Mario Kart 64, Goldeneye, Perfect Dark, Mystical Ninja starring Goemon, Goemon's Great Adventure, Descent: Freespace.

Modern: Halo: Reach, Modern Warfare 2, Mass Effect 2, Bayonetta, Tales of Vesperia, Fallout 3, Bionic Commando Rearmed, Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts and Bolts, Super Smash Bros. Brawl, Metroid Prime 1-3, Mobile Suit Gundam: Gundam vs. Zeta Gundam, Hearts of Iron II, Europa Universalis III, Civilization IV.



Gamer Profile
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PSN:
Mii: Guncannon
Gamertag: GuncannonD
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Why the Battlefield 1943 is the worst game EVER!
Guncannon | 10:23 PM on 07.18.2009 31 comments




Hey, its Jason. My older brother left this blogmaker on so im gonna post what i think. i thought you had to be an editor to write stuff so my brother must have hacked into the destructoid internet or something.

So i was playing the battlefield: 1943, and i think that its one of the baddest games ever. They got so many things wrong..

The biggest problem is The gamemakers didnt look in their history books, because this game HAS NO NAZIES IN IT!!! I read in class that Nazies tried to take over the entire world, so maybe the gamemakers thought that the Nazies couldnt find the tiny islands in the game. The problem is that the game has all the Nazi tanks, guns and airplanes, but they decided to give them to the "japanese", who never fought with britain in WWI. They were probably afraid that the germans would sue them because they make Nazis look bad so they copy-pasted the japanese onto the Nazi characters. They didnt even try.

The weapons in the game are totally garbage. You can't customize them with scopes, silencers and skins like in CoD4, so everyone just sprays there bullets all over the map, since they don't have aimers on the guns. The rifle never seems to hit anyone, but if someone uses it to shoot at you you die. The MP40 is way worse in this game then CoDWAW, since you cant run and spray with it and someone goes up to you and no scopes you. garbage! The sniper sucks because you cant lie down and shoot, and whats the point of having a sniper if the building your in can get blown up by a tank!

Yeah, tanks are way to cheap in this game. They have a big gun AND a machine gun AND a machine gun on top. People just sit in them and shoot people because they have no skill. Halo does it better, since they dont put many tanks on there multiplayer maps. Planes are stupid too, since if you stop in midair to keep firing at someone you just fall to the ground or get shot. The missles never work they always fall straight down, major bug! They even have cannons that shoot exploding bombs to blow up planes. They had things like those in Battlestar Galactica, but that show was millions of years in the future so the gamemakers put it in even though they never had them in WW1.

i cant beleive that microsoft made such a terrible game. they should have just made another Halo expansion pack and we would all have been happy.

[b]thanks for reading![b]



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29 comments | showing # 1 to 29
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slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 22:55
slayer the player
wow this game does sound terrorible, thanks!
keisal's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 22:57
keisal
I really really hope this is an evil prank you are playing on your brother because if its not he should teach you some of that history he is learning.
nukka jdav's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 23:12
nukka jdav
I love this.
Justin Villasenor's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 23:14
Justin Villasenor
I totally read this post thing that you wrote on the Internet what with the hackings on the Destructoid which isn't a very good thing I think maybe but I read it anyway and there were words under a picture that told me the information that you were telling.
Usedtabe's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 23:22
Usedtabe
Amazing. You should "hack" Destructoid more often and write to us again.
Mike Moran's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 23:25
Mike Moran
I'm crying inside. Crying tears of internal blood that kill me deep down in my soul.
10BobMarleys's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/18/2009 23:30
10BobMarleys
tis game soonds shit. im not geting it.
Dyna Geek's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 00:12
Dyna Geek
Dude, is your brother Jim Sterling or something?
Hamza CTZ Aziz's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 00:25
Hamza CTZ Aziz
I'm laughing while facepalming at this post.
Zippyduda's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 00:47
Zippyduda
Lol 1943 *posts image of another game, possibly 1942, no idea*

"blogmaker"

grafkhun's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 01:15
grafkhun
Guess you won't be getting Battlefield 1944 then...
Sharpless's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 01:51
Sharpless
I read Justin's comment in Bill Cosby's voice, as should you all.
Guncannon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 02:13
Guncannon
Actually, my younger brother is not named Jason...and hasn't played BF: 1943 (or any other 360 game for that matter).

I just wanted to see what kind of reaction I'd get from writing a quick "how many errors I can fit" post, as compared to my previous article, which was a mini-essay that took hours to write.

Sad to say, but it looks like satire wins out over rhetoric. I call it the "Sterling vs. Burch" rule...
slayer the player's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 02:17
slayer the player
bravo GUNCANNON, i bought it, nice theory. i really liked the post about maniac mansion, but it led me to watching mortal kombat conquest for an hour on youtube had no idea about that either, so thanks for that, i guess

also hobo is still an idiot
DarkTravesty's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 02:57
DarkTravesty
someone thought this was funny... it wasn't.
Mike Moran's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 03:26
Mike Moran
For the record I knew something this stupid had to be a joke, but I still cried internal tears of blood over how stupid it was, even if I was laughing.
Dao2-SKP's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 04:03
Dao2-SKP
unfunny fakery :|

fail
FalconReaper's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 05:02
FalconReaper
Bravo
RonBurgandy2010's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 08:59
RonBurgandy2010
Please tell me this is a joke.
BS3 Owner's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 09:12
BS3 Owner
I knew it was a joke/idiotic blog when i read...

"The missles never work they always fall straight down, major bug!"
Daxelman's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 10:00
Daxelman
I knew this was a joke when you started talking Nazi's.

The missiles part was hilarious. I'm quoting that.
Kyle MacGregor's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 10:16
Kyle MacGregor
I had a feeling this was trolling, but it was an entertaining read anyway.
Elsa's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 11:21
Elsa
Yeah... when I read something outrageous, idiotic and incorrect - fingers immediately fly and it's so easy to come up with a response. Unfortunately, when I read something really good - something well composed, it's often difficult to think of anything to say other than a trite "great blog" comment, because the author has covered it all.

It should also be noted that the topic of Battlefield will just generally attract more clicks because many of us play the game... whereas Manic Mansion is obviously a more obscure reference.

Interesting social experiment... though I don't think that the results are at all unexpected, and things are unlikely to change.
Guncannon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 11:43
Guncannon
Sorry everyone for making it look like I was a troll or WAAAAAmbulance driver with this article.

I'm still happy with my longer article, since it actually brought forward something that few people remembered. I was also happy with people who were like "I remember that show, but never knew it was based on a game!" That made it all worthwhile.

And just to let everyone know, it still took me a decent amount of time to write this article. It's tough to go from academic writing to "humour".
Zyrshnikashnu's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 12:26
Zyrshnikashnu
I got to this point:
"The biggest problem is The gamemakers didnt look in their history books, because this game HAS NO NAZIES IN IT!!!"
And said, "Oh, it's a satire!"

Despite being right, have I overestimated the intelligence level of the average Internet commenter? :P
Guncannon's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 13:16
Guncannon
@Zyrshnikashnu

Hmm...maybe I should have switched the paragraphs around: starting with the usual whining about "cheap" things in the game then spiraling down into total stupidity.
Zombutler's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/19/2009 15:02
Zombutler
OH MY GOD HE'S A FAKE
Kuwanjahbee's Avatar - Comment posted on 07/22/2009 12:39
Kuwanjahbee
very clever. I won't lie, i fell for it. People might as well call you Jonathon swift.

Then again, i did play one match of the game, and i did fairly well. so i was thinking to myself "maybe he just sucks at it?"
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