I have been playing games since the day my aunt decided she didn't want her NES anymore (CRAZY I KNOW!) and I have been keeping up with every generation since. There isn't a game genre I write off as unplayable, but I generally stick more towards shooter and RTS style games.
And let the records state that "The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time" is the best videogame in history. Fact.
Aside from video games I also enjoy Hard rock and Heavy Metal music (Led Zeppelin and Judas Priest being my favorite musical groups), and film. I have always wanted to be an actor, even if just on the side, and I have plenty of (perhaps horrid) you-tube videos to show for it ( http://ca.youtube.com/user/missilepuppy ).
Other than that, I graduated from a community college computer program and work in IT for my local School Division. I am the digital man!
I loved Jimís Ocarina of Time Forever video from a few days back. I thought it was an absolutely hilarious idea. In fact, I loved it so much I wanted to test my video skills to see if I could make a Hyrulian wavy flag animation (like Duke Nukem Forver has in the trailer)... then I got carried away and sort of remade half the video. I stayed up half the night making it "just a bit better" untill I realized I was being retarded.
Now I'm at work this morning, full of coffee, and it's up on Youtube.
Hope you guys like it (and that Jim doesn't mind!)
I have to admit something to you. I am one of those weirdos who loves to watch movies that he knows are terrible on purpose. It doesn't seem make sense, right? Who would watch a movie they know is going to be terrible?
I used to wonder the same thing, then I saw a few bad movies that were in fact so bad, they were hilariously good. There is a very specific level of badness that is particularly awesome and when a movie hits that note, its perfect... in its own little bad way. It is usually a film where they tried to stretch a small budget to thin. A real project of love where you can tell someone wanted it to be a great idea but it fell short on so many levels. In fact, watching bad movies has become a very common occurrence amongst my friends and I. There are few better feelings than that of sitting down with your best friends and belittling a terrible film to pieces, wonderful!
Now I know what your thinking: "Hey this has nothing to do with videogames and he didn't label it NVGR!" but stick with me for a moment here!
So they other day I got to thinking about one of my other hobbies, videogames (see!) and I started to wonder: Are there videogames that are so bad, they are hilariously good as well? I mean everyone knows there are bad videogames... but are any of them secretly... good?
Ponder that for a moment...
My conclusion, heck yes, heck yes there is.
I've decided I want to share with you my favorite 3 videogames that are so horrendously terrible they are in fact, totally awesome:
3: Family Feud - NES
Why it's Bad: Good lord what a game. There are so many things about Family Feud that are terrible. First off game-show based games hardly ever work, especially on the older systems. Then that host guy scares the pants off me, he walks around with a creepy half pedo/half dentist smile going on. Is it just me or does it look like he is leaning in to start making out with each contestant when he's "asking them their name" or whatever.... creepy. DO NOT even get me started on the questions! If you thought some of the questions on the family feud TV show were bad, try this game. Half of the questions are freaking impossible! For the life of me I still cannot figure out a single answer for "Name something that used to be done on University Campuses". What? And yes, I've already tried all the hippie compound answers: Hippie-drugs, hippie-sex, none of them are right!
Why it's secretly Good: You have to play this game with a friend to get the full effect, and you have to be riled up, no wait the game will do that for you. Just be prepared to yell at the stupid game when you give the obviously most logical answer and the game denies you flat out. In fact the yelling makes it even more fun. This game is even stupid enough to accept "icebox" as a replacement word for "refrigerator" in one question but not another! (and yes, refrigerator was a correct answer for each question).
This game turns your living room into a circus! People will go insane with stupid answers that get accepted for some questions when other, seemingly good ones don't. Take this example: I was playing with my younger brother once and the question was "Name a bird known for it's color" I immediately typed flamingo becuase they are pink and that color tends to stick out. Nope, denied. Then my brother (little !#@$@$ that he is) proceeds to type out "redbird" then "blackbird" then "bluebird" and he gets them all. ... ... ... For an added bonus, try playing while under the influence of alcohol (but you didn't hear that from me).
...and yes I always name my family the "CAC" Family.
2: Marvel Nemesis: Rise of the Imperfects - xbox/ps2/gamecube
Why it's bad: Ok if you ever tried this game you are probably thinking... everything about it is bad, and you're just about correct there. This game is truly terrible. First off the "Imperfects" are nothing more than E.A Games designed blatant rip-offs of regular Marvel properties. This is also the most stupidly unbalanced game I have ever played in my life. I think someone at E.A actually hates Marvel and made all the Imperfect characters 5x as strong as them, becuase they are all almost impossible to beat. Some characters moves are almost impossible to block and deal way to much damage. Do not get me started on the single player "campaign", it is stupidly easy and then unimaginably hard at random and none of the missions make sense: "Iron man must go to the roof and kill all the flying saucer things.... becuase they are bad news man!" or something weird like that...
Why it's secretly good: This game only has one small redeeming factor, and its a bit strange to set up. The only way this game can be fun is if you have a multiplayer "throw-fest" with a friend (the A.I. doesn't get it sadly). You pick either the Thing or Venom as your characters (becuase they are the strongest) and then you proceed to fight on one of the levels that contains mostly junk to throw at your opponent's head, such as the city streets map.
And that is exactly what you do, you each stand there and whip as much crap at the other guy's head as fast as you can, if you are lucky you will knock them into an explosive barrel, that will most likely completely kill them, even if the match just started. This is when you laugh maniacally at the top of your lungs (key). The only other move aloud in a throw-fest is the catch and throw back, often resulting in an awkward game of catch with cars (that will undoubtedly explode after too many tosses... yes, laugh here as well). This is another bad game I play with my brother from time to time and i tell you, he is the best at tossing a lot of crap in a very short period of time, not sure if that's an acquired skill or just his destructive nature...
1: Pepsiman - PS1 (Japan)
Why it's bad: First off if you have no idea who Pepsiman is let me explain: In the 90's Pepsi of Japan decided it would be a good idea to create a mascot super hero for Pepsi, hence Pepsiman. He is a bumbling idiot who saves the world with... well Pepsi. I know, strange.
This game is terrible-in-the-eyes-of-god terrible. Firstly, IT DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE! EVER! Each mission of the game involves you controlling Pepsiman, although he is constantly running, you just have to steer him, as he runs to the rescue of some poor Pepsi-less individuals somewhere. There is honestly one mission where a fire truck is broken on its way to a burning building, so the firefighter asks Pepsiman to go QUENCH THE THIRST OF THE BURNING VICTIMS. Yeah, that just happened. Also, what is up with Pepsi-City? All of the cars try to kill you, every building has Pepsi written on it's walls, and there are passed out Pepsi-addicts on every corner...? Oh yeah, and its stupidly hard to play as well. Like, really stupidly hard to play. Watch this guy be not very awesome at all on the first mission:
Why it's Good: Well actually most of the reasons it's bad are also why its good. Everything about this game is completely ridiculous. Where it really stands out with awesomeness is in the "Americanized" cut scenes between each mission (that frankly have nothing to do with the game). Instead, they show a typical large and jolly American man telling you you're doing awesome, eating stuff, drinking Pepsi, and whipping out such sweet catchphrases as "PEPSI -- FOR TV GAME!"... yup, classic bad.
So there you have it, my little list of definitely terrible, secretly awesome videogaming gems. I am very interested in hearing what other games people find to be "so bad they're good!" Let me know!
PS: In case you're curious my top 3 favorite bad movies of all time are:
-Cool as Ice
-RIKKI OH: The Story of Rikki
But if you want to know why you're just going to have to watch them yourself (Something I whole-heatedly recommend)!
If anyone read my last blog post (http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/GunSlap/quantum-of-solace-wii-exclusive-offline-multiplayer-what--107687.phtml) you will realize that I'm already pretty bummed out about this whole "lets NOT have offline multiplayer anymorez! LOLZ!" state of mind developers seem to be engulfed in.
Now to make matters worse....
I was at my local game shop when I noticed the new armored core game was out. BEing a large fan of the series, I got kinda excited. I was a bit leery becuase the past few in the series haven't been so hot. Then I looked at the box and it specifically claimed there would be Splitscreen co-op. HOLLY SWEETNESS! Giant custom robot split screen co-op? Did I just poo my pants? (yes). On that feature alone I decided to pick it up.
But to my dismay on trying it out, there is NO OFFLINE CO-OP! Only that danged blasted terror called ONLINE! GAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!
First they decide to take away all things cool in the world, and then they proceed to lie about it and tell me they're actually still there?
Ug. I scowered the net and discovered that this is a known issue to the community, but the developers have yet to comment. Gee, thanks guys. You just sold me your game under false pretenses.
Once I calmed down enough to play the game (BY MYSELF) I found out it was alright. Still would have been one hell of a lot better with local co-op though...
Ok so being a huge James bond fan, and owning a very capable PC, Wii and 360, I have been debating what system I should consider buying the new Quantum of Solace game for when it is released next month.
After reading everyone's reliable friend wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quantum_of_Solace) I came across a passage stating the the wii version would be the ONLY version to include offline multiplayer!
Seriously WHAT THE HECK IS THE WORLD COMING TO? Is it to much to ask that a guy can invite some friends over to his house on a Friday night for some good OLD FASHIONED LOCAL FRAGGING? Does anyone else realize that it was Goldeneye that single-handedly created the local frag fest that I love so dearly, and it was in fact, a JAMES BOND GAME!
Now I do have a Wii and that is nice and all, but as of yet I have not had any decent experiences with first person shooters on it. Somehow even though the Wii version is apparently chocked full of extra features I get the feeling they are making up for something the wii can't do that the others can.
I would much prefer an offline frag extravaganza on my 360. It's just plain old better adapted to the task. If Halo can do it, why not James Bond? This brings a serious question to my mind that may require some discussion... Is local Multipayer being shunned by developers in favor of online only experiences? This really makes it seem so. Personally I PREFER blasting my buddies that are right beside me, its a more personal and social experience. I also can't stand paying for xbox live gold. PC games have had all these services and more for much longer and I don't see many people trying to charge me extra for them on that platform (or at least if they do try it almost certainly fails... that's right windows live, I am looking at you).
Perhaps it should be noted FPS's are generally easyer to play on PC... But oh sigh, what can I say. When I first heard about this game I was excited, hoping it might bring back my semi-glory days as a Goldeneye fragster, but under these circumstances? I don't even know anymore.
Offline multiplayer should come before online. Come one people, give precedence to the kind folks beside you!