Ahh. The silent protagonist. One of gaming's most used devices. You all know the mute hero who somehow only communicates with the occasional yelp of pain, joy, or "..."'s. NihonTiger has already talked about this (and as I was blissfully unaware, made it to the front page) but I wanted to share my thoughts on the subject. Let's take a closer look at good examples and bad alike.

Prepare for an onslaught of ranting and profanity.


GOOD IDEA:



Basically any game without an important story pretty much falls into this category. Mario is the first and probably best example that comes to mind. Sure, he gives the occasional yelp of pain, or borderline erotic squee of joy whenever he jumps, but beyond that and the occasional 4 word sentence, he never says a word. And that's a good thing. After hearing him scream the title of his latest game with over exuberant pubescent flair every time I boot up Super Mario Galaxy, I'd go as far to say that he talks TOO damn much. Now imagine if Mario held full conversations with Bowser or Peach with that voice we thankfully barely hear. I'd claw my fucking ears off ten minutes into that Chinese torture. That voice would ping pong across the insides of your skull while you bang your head continuously against the wall trying to shake it out. Even IF his dialogue was just text, do you really give a damn what Mario has to say? Shut up and let me fight the next boss bitch. I don't care if it's-a-you. I realize that. You've been around for almost 30 fucking years. So yeah. It's a good idea that he's silent.



Master Chief is another good example. I know you're saying "But MC Hammer DOES talk" but that's only during the cut scenes and even then it's brief. Notice how during the actual game play, he never says a word. That is a good thing. Not only does it fit his personality as a super serious soldier but it also avoids being annoying. Imagine if MC was crackin' wise like Duke Nukem all the time in that gravelly man voice. Not only would that annoy my brains out but it doesn't make sense with him being this battle-hardened-super-soldier-trained-for-nothing-but-war-since-he-was-8 character. You shouldn't talk at all MC Hammer. You should be fucking killing or dancing, and you're broke now so you don't have time to dance anymore. The only time you should talk is when you're issuing orders to other soldiers to kill or dance. NO OTHER REASON!


BAD IDEA:

And here is where the controversy begins. I have two major examples that I'm sure people will disagree with but hear me out.



I'll begin with Link.

Now I agree that up until I guess the Gamecube games, Link was fine as a silent protagonist, but that shit has officially become old. "But Guitar. Do you want anything like that Zelda CD-I ga..." Shut your fucking mouth right there. That game was made as a cashwhore and wasn't even made by Nintendo so how did you think it was going to turn out? The fact is, the character of Link will not evolve or become worthy of emotional investment until Link starts talking. Can you tell me anything about Link's personality at all? Is it sad that Kratos from God of War is a deeper character than Link who's been around for like 20 years longer? Now this is different from Mario because the Zelda games actually attempt to have a relatively mature story and present it to you as such. Except for the fact that the main character has no fucking personality. Imagine how more engrossing the story would be if Link could talk. Imagine the new possibilities for story and how they escape this fucking regurgitating cycle of game play they've been going through recently. Imagine if you gave a damn about Link at all. I think it would be cool.



The other example I'm thinking of is Gordon Freeman of Half-Life. People tout this as the greatest example of the silent protagonist but I can only see the missed opportunity. People are fucking talking to you Freeman, say something! It annoys me to no end how he never says anything to anyone during his adventures. I'm not saying he needs to say something every 30 seconds or even say something profound, but at least acknowledge that someone is in the room with you you fucking mute! People say "But it immerses me in the world more" and I say fuck that. It takes me out personally. If I could customize my character's appearance, name, and dick size, that would immerse me, but no. Your character is already set. You are the scientist Gordon Freeman as played by the guy from House and him not talking isn't going to make me feel any more like him during the game. I just see all the potential for character development that's just lost because he never once asks "What's this awesome fucking thing in the lab over here" "You made a gun that controls gravity! How awesomely scientifically amazing fucktastic is that!?". Valve could do better that that, but you get my point. He's a scientist, but the only thing I know about him is that he's a great survivalist and he could beat your dad dead with a crowbar in 2 seconds flat. He should talk.

So what do you think? Fan the flames of War!