ROUND 4: THE IN-GAME INSTRUCTIONS

ARCADE

"Winners don't do drugs."

"The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to save the President?"

The Wii just doesn't believe in you quite like the arcades did. The arcade is already fairly confident that you're both a winner and a pretty bad dude. All that remains to be seen is whether or not you're bad enough to rescue the president from ninjas, and even that question seems pretty rhetorical. (Of course you are, motherfucker!)



Wii

"Please point the Wii Remote at the screen."

"The Wii Remote has become disconnected. Please press A to reconnect."

The Wii, meanwhile, doesn't even trust us enough to point the damn controller at the screen, as if we'd be aiming at toasters and house pets without the helpful incite.


Enjoy the rest here;
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