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4:14 PM on 12.21.2007

Michael Richards is that you?

From MrCHUPON's blog post concerning an idiotic conversation at a Gamestop.

From an innocuous line of commenting comes this;


But wait, theres more;


And more;
  read


5:00 PM on 11.28.2007

Halflife 2, Episode 2, demo 2, review 2

Worst. Demo. Ever.



I cant even fathom((sp) Thanks King3vbo!! your super spelling powers have saved the day!) why they would even bother to put this up. Its like watching a trailer for '300' and all you see is the Spartans marching out of town, and its not even that interesting.   read


5:56 PM on 09.19.2007

Sega Rally Revo Demo Revo-view

Can a game be so utterly banal that you forget you’ve played mere seconds after you turned it off? With bright, semi-cartoonish graphics and barely there gameplay I couldn’t helped but be reminded of Ridge Racer 4, or was it 5, possibly 3? The game just feels old, like a used car with a new paint job. And heres a short story about dipping my car in a vat of chocolate cool-whip: No. They say ‘Revo’ I say ‘Retro’, lets call the whole thing off.

For:
Japanaddicts
Techno junkies
Cos-players
Frat boys
Pre-schoolers
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Your Mom
Retarded Mongoloids
Gear heads
Combo kings
Arm chair Rommels
Frag Hounds


MMmmmm chocolate cool-whip   read


10:39 AM on 09.04.2007

COD4 beta; Im in, your not.

[b]Look what I found in my in-box;
Your tears are a soothing balm for my soul.[/b]

Welcome to the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer BETA!

Congratulations on being selected to participate in the public
multiplayer
BETA for Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare.

Your Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer BETA Token is:

PC6X4-*****-*****-*****-*****

To download the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer BETA please
follow the following steps:

1) Turn on your Xbox 360 entertainment console.

2) Go to the MARKETPLACE Blade.

3) Select Redeem Code from the available menu.

4) Enter the Token found above in the available field.

5) Select Download Now.

Upon completion of the download, you may choose to 'Play Now' to
immediately
start enjoying the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare Multiplayer BETA, or
for
all future attempts, you can choose the Call of Duty 4: Modern Warfare
BETA
in the 'Demos and More' menu of your 'GAMES' blade on the Xbox 360
Dashboard.

  read


11:23 AM on 08.24.2007

Space Giraffe or Windows Media Player, The Game!

Space Giraffe: Hey, look everybody! It’s a Tempest clone with Windows Media Player visualizations tossed in to obscure the gameplay! But wait! That’s not all, you also get levels shown from such an angle that you cant see half the field. And that’s only in the 1st 10 levels, imagine how badly designed the other 90 are. On second thought don't. Heres an idea, give us the original Tempest on XBLA so we can forget about this visual turd.

For:
Japanaddicts
Techno junkies
Cos-players
Frat boys
Pre-schoolers
Disco Stu
Warcrafters
Nintendorks
Hipsters
Your Mom
Retarded Mongoloids
Gear heads
Combo kings
Arm chair Rommels
Frag Hounds   read


11:51 AM on 08.22.2007

My Long Awaited Bioshock Demo review

Bioshock: So, what am I supposed to be in awe of again? I forgot. Is it the tried and true (read – old) FPS gameplay? A health bar? A jump button? The revolution will be televised (albeit with the top and bottom of the picture cropped out). The over-hyped yet underwhelming art design? Ooo, a scary little girl, ZZzzzz. All hail the ‘Game of the Year’. "My spirit is snoring!"


For:
Japanaddicts
Techno junkies
Cos-players
Frat boys
Pre-schoolers
Warcrafters
Nintendorks
Hipsters
Your Mom
Retarded Mongoloids
Gear heads
Combo kings
Arm chair Rommels
Frag Hounds   read


11:49 AM on 08.21.2007

'CRACKED' thinks Wii is kinda lame

ROUND 4: THE IN-GAME INSTRUCTIONS

ARCADE

"Winners don't do drugs."

"The President has been kidnapped by ninjas. Are you a bad enough dude to save the President?"

The Wii just doesn't believe in you quite like the arcades did. The arcade is already fairly confident that you're both a winner and a pretty bad dude. All that remains to be seen is whether or not you're bad enough to rescue the president from ninjas, and even that question seems pretty rhetorical. (Of course you are, motherfucker!)



Wii

"Please point the Wii Remote at the screen."

"The Wii Remote has become disconnected. Please press A to reconnect."

The Wii, meanwhile, doesn't even trust us enough to point the damn controller at the screen, as if we'd be aiming at toasters and house pets without the helpful incite.


Enjoy the rest here;
http://www.cracked.com/index.php?name=News&sid=2323   read


2:52 PM on 08.16.2007

StrangleKatamariHold

Something Katamari: So I roll this thing around picking up stuff. No more fun or enjoyable then Boom Boom Rocket, or Geometry wars, or Tetris. But still a fine addition to your Xbox Live Arcade collection. What? $40? F U katamari.

For:
Japanaddicts
Techno junkies
Cos-players
Frat boys
Warcrafters
Nintendorks
Hipsters
Your Mom
Mulleteers
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Gear heads
Combo kings
Arm chair Rommels


Stranglehold: Wow Dead to Rights HD looks really good. But what happened to the dog and the cool dis-arms. Really though, when I'm half way thru a demo and I'm 99.99% sure I've seen everything a game has to offer - not good. Watch a double bill of the Killer and Hard Boiled better, It'll be a 100x more enjoyable/half the price/and the same length. 'Tequila time' seriously, 'Tequila time'?

For:
Japanaddicts
Techno junkies
Cos-players
Frat boys
Warcrafters
Nintendorks
Hipsters
Your Mom
Mulleteers
Retarded Mongoloids
Gear heads
Combo kings
Arm chair Rommels   read


12:27 PM on 08.15.2007

Too Franchise, or not too Franchise?

After a discussion I had with a friend, concerning APF 2K8 vs. Madden 08. We agreed that 2K8 is the better playing game (though the margins differed greatly). Then the discussion turned to the over all game, and more specifically ‘Franchise’ mode or lack there of. And while I wont bore you with that debate, it did get me thinking, how many people actually play a franchise mode, and for those that do, to what extent.

So, let us know: do you even play a franchise? And if so, for how long?

As for me, the best I can remember:

Madden 03: yes, 2-3 seasons
Madden 04: yes, 3-4 seasons
NFL 2K5: yes, 10-12 seasons
College Hoops 2K6: yes, 8 seasons
Winning 11 8: yes, 4 seasons
College Hoops 2K7: yes, 1-...   read


6:09 PM on 08.14.2007

Maddenoliday: Oh the Irony



I cant be the only to notice the irony of EA using Ozzy Osborne to promote Madden 08 at their 'Maddenoliday', what ever the hell that is.
Lets compmare and contrast shall we:

Subject A. is past its prime and can no longer compete with its younger competition.
Subject B. umm, yeah, same as A.

Subject A. was over sensationalized, even at its peak popularity and probably used payola to get played on the radio.
Subject B. Is over sensationalized and probably uses payola to get good reviews (cough,Gamespot,cough)

Subject A. Is worshipped by frat boys, and nit wits.
Subject B. Is worshipped by frat boys and nit wits.

Subject A. was the subject of a craptacular show on a craptacular TV channel.
Subject B. Is the subject of a craptacular show on a craptacular TV channel.

Subject A. Offers a stuttering glitchy performance.
Subject B. Offers a stuttering glitchy performance online.   read


12:52 PM on 08.13.2007

Madden 08, shockingly, has glitches

From the kansas City Star
http://www.kansascity.com/entertainment/story/229150.html

1.) Everyone is constantly turning the ball over. I played against my friend David four times — as the New Orleans Saints vs. the Chicago Bears — and we each fumbled and threw interceptions as if we were newbies. We’re not.
Then I played a solo match against the computer. Both my team and the other team — the Tennessee Titans vs. the Tampa Bay Buccaneers — fumbled and threw pick-offs four times.
That’s eight interceptions in a 20-minute ballgame of five-minute quarters. This is wildly unacceptable.
One time I dove to the ground without any defensive guy hitting me, and I fumbled while falling peacefully to the ground.

2.) If you are running with the ball, you can press a button to do a lateral. But if you accidentally press this button when there’s no teammate around you (fairly easy to do), you fumble. How stupid.

3.) There is a great “protect” button you can press. It makes you wrap both hands around the football while you’re running. This should keep you from fumbling. Yet I was jogging as a big fullback in open field toward a touchdown, with the “protect” button on, and a tiny little safety guy pushed me once.
I fumbled.

4.) When a new series of downs begins for my offense, I’m given just over 20 seconds to scan through my plays, pick one, rush to the line of scrimmage, and snap the ball. This is absurd.

5.)(mine)

[i]Not that it matters, youve either drank the kool-aid or not, and no amount of glitches(08 apparently), rip-offs(06, 07), or complacency(05-08) will deter you. So, start your hondas, turn up the Limp Bizkit, and turn your ball caps around, the roster update arrives at midnight!. BTW is EA still using those cheerleader pics from 03?   read


5:47 PM on 08.07.2007

Wii DVD !!!!!

With their latest release, the killer app Clock, Nintendo looks to be taking a dominating lead in the video game business. But what could be next? My inside source at Nintendo R&D tells me that the Big N, with their next Wii update, are looking to put the nail in the coffin of their closest competitors, the Playstation 1 and Sega Dreamcast, by releasing a DVD player!!


I also managed to obtain this photo of the Wii-DVD proto-type.




Hold onto your hats Nintendo fans, the future looks bright!   read


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