Community Discussion: Blog by GoofierBrute | GoofierBrute's ProfileDestructoid
GoofierBrute's Profile - Destructoid

Game database:   #ABCDEFGHIJKLMNOPQRSTUVWXYZ         ALL     Xbox One     PS4     360     PS3     WiiU     Wii     PC     3DS     DS     PS Vita     PSP     iOS     Android

click to hide banner header
I'm just a dude in his mid-twenties who loves video games, movies, anime, and a bunch of other stuff. I don't write on a regular basis, so if you came here expecting that, you'll be disappointed. However, I do hope you enjoy the few things I do write here.

I'm a freelance programmer/web designer, so if you need someone to do a webpage or to make a game with, PM me. I'm also working on a game with some fellow Dtoiders, and when we have something solid, I'll talk about it here.

My five favorite games of all time are:

1. Super Mario Galaxy
2. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker
3. Portal
4. Bioshock
5. Metroid Prime
Player Profile
Xbox LIVE:GoofierBrute
Steam ID:GoobyPls
Wii U code:GoobyPls89
Follow me:
GoofierBrute's sites
Following (18)  

For me, 2014 was one of those years, you know the one; where one bad thing happens, and then something else happens, and then it just keep snowballing and before long you're getting intimate with a bottle of Captain Morgan. I won't go into more detail than that, but let's just say the sooner 2014 ends the better. It seems the game industry has also had one of those years this year as well, even more so than usual. This year, we've seen Ubisoft put it's foot in its mouth over having playable female characters, numerous games that came out this year were either buggy at launch or didn't live up to hype (as well as many big games getting delayed to next year), and just recently Grand Theft Auto V was in the news again for stupid reasons. Of course, all of this is nothing when compared to the mine field that is called GamerGate, the impact of which can be explained by people more informed and smarter than myself.

But despite all the bad stuff that happened this year, a lot of great stuff happened too. The PS4 helped Sony start 2014 strong, Microsoft was able to somewhat turn around the Xbox One and has started to pick up steam, and while it's home console still hasn't become as popular as the other two sales-wise, Nintendo is still finding some level of success by releasing a string of well recieved games like Super Smash Bros. 4Mario Kart 8, and Bayonetta 2. And speaking of games, while there have been a couple of major disappointments and/or delays of some big titles, this year has seen the release of quite a few amazing games, more so than in previous years in my opinion. And so, as the year slowly winds down, I thought I would share with you guys (in no particular order) the games that came out this year that I enjoyed the most, and believe me there were a lot. The only two guidelines for this list were games that came out in 2014 (obvs), and I'm not counting remakes and remasters, so sorry Grand Theft Auto V and Pokemon Alpha Sapphire/Omega Ruby; but you're sitting this one out.

Bravely Default (3DS)

The Groundhog Day of JRPGs.

Okay, so technically this game came out in Europe late 2013, and those of us in the US of A didn't get it until early this year, but Bravely Default is such a good JRPG that it didn't matter if it came out 2014 AD or 2014 BC; I'd still be talking about this game. That's because Bravely Default is one of those rare games that strikes a perfect balance between paying homage to classic 16-bit JRPGs (in this case, the job system of Final Fantasy V) and having some new ideas of it's own, such as being able to turn control the random encounter rate of monsters and having your party autobattle to ease grinding. Perhaps the best thing Bravely Default has going for it however is it's battle system, in which your party, enemies and bosses have the option to  either Brave, in which you move more than once per turn at the cost of being vulernable for a certain number of turns afterwards, or Default, which is like defending in other games, but it gives you Brave Points that you can use in battle later; it strikes an excellent balance between playing it safe and going all out in battle, and encourages you as a player to try multiple party combinations, especially since there isn't one end all be all party combination that you can use all the way to the end. While the story itself may not win a BAFTA for Best Storytelling, it has a surprising amount of depth later on in the game, with a plot twist that I legitimately didn't see coming. The characters are also like this, as they start off one dimensional and generic before growing into well rounded and deep characters; this is especially true with many of the Job Holders that you meet in the game, as they're intially seen in the beginning of the game as crazy, corrupt, or just plain evil, only to find out later that most of them have tragic backstories and aren't completely terrible people, though there are some that are still wonderfully evil villians (looking at you Qada).

Of course, no mention of Bravely Default would be complete without mentioning the big major twist of the game, which is that you have to replay the main dungeons not once, not twice, but FIVE times. Now I know that when a lot of people first heard about this, they either stopped playing game or just refused to pick it up, and while I myself personally didn't mind, I can see why a lot people weren't big fans of this design decision; hell, even I was getting tired of it somewhat by the fourth go around. However, if you decide to give the game a chance, you won't be disappointed, as this is one of the best JRPG on the 3DS (a system where games of this genre are quite abudant) that looks and sounds as beautiful as it is to play. And with the sequel coming out in Japan of April next year (under the original title of Bravely Second), now's a perfect chance for you to get on this train and see what the big deal is. That being said, I do hope the sequel stays away from repeating dungeons, or else they're going to have an angry Goof on their hands, and no one wants that.

Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze (Wii U)



 When Nintendo first announced that Retro's new game was going to be another Donkey Kong Country game at E3 2013, I admit that I was a little disapponted, since I was really hoping that Retro would either go back to making Metroid or even try their hand at another Nintendo property (Starfox perhaps). This disappointment lasted for about two seconds (possibly less), because it instantly occured to me that OH MY GOD RETRO IS MAKING ANOTHER DONKEY KONG COUNTRY GAME AND IT'S IN HD AND NOW I HAVE TO CHANGE MY PANTS! And so after a minor delay, Wii U owners were treated to an excellent platforming experince this Februrary with the release of Tropical Freeze, and it was good; like really good. Tropical Freeze doesn't change too much of what made Returns so much fun to play, but what little it does change makes the game feel fresh and new again. For starters, swimming and underwater segments are back this time, and while you don't have Enguarde the Swordfish to help you this time, they're still pretty fun sections to play; in addition, some levels now have multiple exits, with some leading to hidden levels that you can't access any other way.

But perhaps the biggest change that Tropical Freeze added was the incluson of two additional playable characters; fan favorite Dixie Kong returns to use her helicopter hair to float in the air for a bit (as well as hover down slowly like in previous games), and everyone's favorite old grandpa Cranky Kong makes his debut as a playable character, using his cane to jump a bit higher and to cross spiked areas. The addition of these two (plus the return of Diddy Kong) bring a ton of variety to both the gameplay and stages, as there are certain enemies and stage hazards that can be cleared using a specific Kong, and since Donkey can only have one other Kong with him at a time, the game encourages you to both experiment and explore the levels multiple times, because unless you use a guide, you aren't going to grab everything in one go. Of course, this would be a problem if the levels themselves weren't that fun to play, but thankfully that isn't the case, as each level is an absolute blast to play, each one offering something new and exciting, with my personal favorite being Grassland Groove; they even brought back the minecart and rocket barrel levels from Returns, and they don't make me want to punch a kitten this time. Take all of this platforming goodness and give it an HD coat of paint and music done by David Wise himself, and you have one of the best platformers to ever grace the Wii U. Huh, I have to say, I'm pretty proud of myself: I went that entire time without make a monkey or banana joke or pun; that's pretty bananas---GOD DAMNIT!

Goat Simulator (PC)

While doing a Google Image search of this game , I accidently added an extra 'T', so it spelt out Goat Stimulator. Don't make the same mistake I did.

I know this entry is going to raise a few eyebrows. Originally a joke by developer Coffee Stain Studios, Goat Simulator was never meant to be a real game, until the studio released a video of it on Youtube, causing the Internet to demand it get made into a real game. Coffee Stain Studios delievered and released the game on April 1st of this year, and boy what a game it is. There's no overarching narrative or online multiplayer(though there is local multiplayer, and  they did add some MMO elements in the latest update); it's just you as a goat, causing as much mayhem and destructions as possible while witnessing some truly hiliarious, non-game breaking bugs. And I absolutely love it.

Okay look, not every game has to have a rich narrative or have an innovative mechanic. Sometimes a game just needs to be fun, and that's what Goat Simulator is. Yeah, it's sometimes broken, the physics are weird, and it's a joke that not everyone will find funny, but I still had a blast with it. And at the end of the day, that's all that really matters. Plus, it runs better than Sonic Boom: Rise of Lyric!

South Park: The Stick of Truth (360,PS3, PC)

Friendly faces everywhere, humble folks without temptation!

After a long development cycle that saw multiple delays and the fear of cancellation when THQ closed it's doors last year (R.I.P.), South Park: The Stick of Truth was finally released this year, and it's well worth the wait. As the new kid in South Park, your job is to help protect the Stick of Truth and the mysteries it wields as you interact with the locals of everyone's favorite quiet little mountain town, get analed probed by aliens, travel to Canada, fight gingers and stop Zombie Nazis. Yeah, in case it wasn't obvious, Stick of Truth's biggest strength is the writing and the humor, which are great on both accounts. I know it was said a lot after release, but it really does feel like you're playing an episode of the show, helped immensly by the graphics using the same artstyle as the show as well as getting the cast of the show to voice their respective characters (Trey Parker totally beats Kevin Spacey for acting), with references to some of the show's best moments. I lost it the first time I heard "Let's Fighting Love" while walking into a store and when I was collecting Chinpokomon.

I also know a lot of people weren't fans of it, but I really liked the combat in this game, as it reminded a lot Super Mario RPG, Paper Mario,  and the Mario & Luigi games, in which you have to press the attack button at the right time or press the button the right time to block. I always enjoyed this kind of combat since it rewarded you for paying attention in combat, as attacks work or fail based on your timing, and enemies have tells and stances to show how they're going to attack or block. I really hope Obsidian take the combat system they used in Stick of Truth  and use it in another game going forward. South Park: The Stick of Truth is not the first game based on the show, and it's far from the last. However, it is the first game that is fun for both fans and non-fans alike, and it was well worth the wait.

Wolfenstein: The New Order (360, PS3, Xbox One, PS4, PC)


Anyone who's read a history book or watched the History Channel back when it was still about history (and not giving the people who aren't aware that the Stargate movie and TV show aren't real relevancy) knows that Hitler and the Nazis were absolutley terrible human beings who did a lot of super messed up stuff. Of course the one (AND ONLY ONE) good thing about the Nazis being Grade A assholes is that you don't need to justify mercilessly killing thousands of them in comics, movies, TV shows, and video games. Which is why Wolfenstein: The New Order is so special; developer MachineGames didn't have to give us a reason to shoot Nazis for the millionth time, but they did, as the game takes place in alternate history in which the Nazis won World War II and have now taken over the world. I know that for a lot of people were divided on it, but overall I really dug the story in The New Order, as the main characters were interesting and in depth (Blazkowicz in particular surprisngly grew on me), and while I did eventually stop caring about the plot as it went along, it was good on the devs to put this much effort into a story and characters when they really didn't need to. Of course, story can only take you so far if the gameplay wasn't up to snuff, but thankfully the New Order is fun to play; oh how fun it is.

 Sure, the main thing you're doing in The New Order is killing Nazis, but it's how you do it in each level that really sets the game apart, as you can go about the missions in one of four ways (stealth, tactical, assault and demolition), with each method offering unique perks and abilities that you can pick and choose to use how you see fit. And while I mostly ended up going in guns blazing (BECAUSE THESE COLORS DON'T RUN), it's nice to see more openess and freedom in the genre. If I were to give out actual awards (Game of The Year, Best Fighter, etc), I would easily give Wolfenstein: The New Order the award "Biggest Surprise", since when I first saw it, it looked really generic at first, then I sat down and played it and it was much better than I expected it to be. It takes elements from older games in the FPS (medkits, huge open maps) with elements seen in more recent games (regenerating health, cover) and makes them work together beautifully. And while the game does absolutlely nothing new to push the genre forward, everything it does is polished to such an incredible shine that any lack of innovation is made up by the fact that it's just a fun game to play.

Mario Kart 8 (Wii U)

I'd probably watch NASCAR if the drivers threw shells and banana peels at each other; keyword being "probably"

At its core, Mario Kart 8 is the same Mario Kart that you played when you were a kid on the SNES, the same Mario Kart that you played on the N64 in college with your friends in between Goldeneye and Super Smash Bros. matches, etc. Yeah, there are some tracks that have you driving upside down, and gliders and underwater sections return from Mario Kart 7, but at the end of the day it's still the same power sliding, item grabbing, F-bomb dropping, friendship ending game that we've been playing on every Nintendo console since the Super Nintendo, except this time it's in HD. But you know what? I wouldn't have it any other way. Mario Kart 8 takes the core gameplay that we've all grown to love and hate at the same time and polishes it to a prestine shine, fixing a lot of the major problems of the previous entries (such as changing how items are used and changing the A.I. of the CPU racers) while at the same time keeping the mayhem of the series intact.

The tracks are really amazing and a blast to play on, with the new ones like Mount Wario and Electrodome quickly becoming some of my new favorites in the series, while the retro tracks have been redone to include new concepts like ramps and anti-gravity sections and they feel like brand new tracks because of it. They even did the impossible and took Toad's Turnpike (and in the DLC Wario's Gold Mine) and made it not terrible! While there aren't as many new ones introduced this time around, the new items in Mario Kart 8 are actually really awesome; the Boomerang is great for hitting players in front if you can time it right, the Piranha Plant snaps at anyone and anything in front of you and give you a boost, and the Super Horn creates shockwaves to stun players, destroy bananas and shells, but more importantly, it can stop the dreaded Blue Shell, thus bringing its reign of terror to a satsifying end. And while it's still lacking in some areas, the online component of the game is great, with next to almost no lag (at least for me anyway). Overall, everything about the game feels both familar and fresh at the same time, and is easily the best game in the series.

 Civilization: Beyond Earth (PC)

I claim this planet in the name of Mars! Isn't that lovely?

Upon seeing Civilization: Beyond Earth in action for the first time, you might think it's just Civilization but IN SPACE! And you'd be right; well sort of. You see, even though it has the same "just one more time" gameplay that the series is famous for, there are small tweaks and additions from previous games that almost make Beyond Earth a brand new game. For example, you're no longer controlling a specific civilization with unique abilities and units, but rather you're picking a corporation to fund you, and you get to choose which abilities and units you start our with, making each playthrough a unique experince. But that's only the beginning, as throughout the game you are given quests to complete, which range from discovering a certain number of relics to making a choice on what to do with a newly discovered material; while they're mostly optional, completing these quests can grant you unique bonuses, XP, new resources to use, and Affinity points.

Speaking of Affinities, they're easily one of my favorite part of the game; similar to Ideologies in Civilization V: Brave New World (in that they both grant you special perks and upgrades for your units based on which one you're aligned with), Affinities are different in that A)all three are avilable early in the game (as opposed to Ideologies being chosen late into the game) and B) Affinities develop based on how you play the game, as opposed to the other way around. Each of the three Affinities (Harmony, Purity, and Supermacy) level up based on what decisions you make throughout the game, and while you can add points in any of the three, if you want to obtain one of the thee victories associated with the Affinites, you need to pick one and develop it; or not if you don't want to. Moreso than any other Civ game, you're free to develop the course your colony takes as you see fit, and it's a blast, as it encourages expermintation, trial and error (huge emphasis on error), and multiple playthroughs. The only real complaint I have with this approach is that while it does grant you a new level of freedom, it comes at the cost of some of the personality that the series is famous for; I'm sorry, but telling some random Russian guy to eat missles just isn't the same as Gandhi dropping nukes on Napoleon because he gave Gandhi a funny look (and by Gandhi, I of course mean me). But that's one minor complaint in the grand scale of things, as Beyond Earth is an excellent game that any Civilization fan would be silly not to play.

Shovel Knight (Wii U, 3DS, PC)

I'll try to refrain from making shovel and digging jokes, but I make no promises. You have been warned.

Without a doubt, the easiest way for me to lose interest in an indie game is if the developers make the game look, sound, and play like an NES game, or they said that games from that era are were their inspiration for their game. Nothing against the NES or the games of that time mind you, it's just that most developers think "8-bit game" means "let's make our game with a bunch of cheap deaths"; yeah NES games were hard, but the good ones were games that were tough but fair and rewarded the player for figuring out how to properly use the game's mechanics to advance. So when Yacht Club Games started a Kickstarter in March of last year to fund their debut game Shovel Knight, I was admittedly skeptical for the reasons I listed earlier. But then I finally got my hands on the game, and a strange thing happened. I really liked it; a lot actually.

 Taking elements from Super Mario Bros. 3DuckTales, and the Mega Man series to name a few, Shovel Knight plays like the kind of old school that I'd love to design one day. Yeah it's tough, but it's fair in it's difficulty; checkpoints are frequent (though you can break them for money if you want), enemies drop plenty of money and items, new abilities, healing items and magic powers are incredibly inexpensive, there's no lives system to deal with, and the levels are both fun to play and designed incredibly well. It really does feel like Yacht Club Games loves game of that era, but not so much that they become oblivious to the flaws and design problems many games of this era had. Combine all of this with an excellent art style, cool characters, a surprisingly deep story, and an awesome soundtrack done by Jake "virt" Kaufman, and you have an indie game that I can really dig. Get it, because it's called Shovel Knight, and you use shovels to dig holes, and......I'll let myself out.

Bayonetta 2 (Wii U)


Gunpowder and Gelatine!

Hey guys, remember when Bayonetta 2 came out on the Wii U? And it sucked because Platnium were forced to shoe-horn Gamepad functionality, thus ruining the flow of the combat? And because the Wii U wasn't as powerful as the PS4 and Xbox One, the game looked nowhere near as good as any game that showed up on either of those consoles? And because Nintendo were publishing the game, all the violence, nudity, swearing, and sexual innuendo were removed completely? And all of this culminated in Bayonetta 2 being the worse game Platnium ever made, becoming a black eye on the stellar Wii U library, and ultimately going down in history as the worse game of 2014?

Yeah, me neither.

Super Smash Bros. 4 (Wii U, 3DS)

All together now: SETTLE IT IN SMASH!

 Don't act surprised; I've been hyped for Smash 4 since the release of Brawl (by the way, Smash 5 is my most anticpated game of 2018, right behind Half-Life 3). But instead of getting one Smash game, we got two this time around, one for the Wii U and the 3DS, the first time the series has been on a handheld; and both are spectular games. The roster is easily the best I've seen in any game ever, striking a perfect balance between popular veterans and newcomers, with some of the newcomers (like Little Mac, Rosalina, and Robin to name a few) quickly becoming some of my favorite characters in the series. The stages and music are absolutely amazing and offer a nice diversity and are a perfect love letter to anyone who loves Nintendo and its franchises. And while I can't talk about the intricacies of the combat, I can say that the game plays and feels as lovely as ever, even on the 3DS version surprsingly; so yeah, basically the game is super fun to play and you should get it.

That's not even getting into the stuff that each version offers, as each of the versions offer something truly unique. On the Wii U version, you have 8-player Smash, Special Orders, and Event Matches, while the 3DS offers up Smash Run, a mode in which you have five minutes to explore an area, collect power-ups, and fight familiar Nintendo enemies, with a random match played at the end with your powered up character. Smash Run may not seem like much compared to what the Wii U version offers, but it's still surpisingly fun to play in quick bursts, and is a fun mode to play for people who missed Adventure mode from Melee; it's also better than Smash Tour (which is for people who thought Mario Party made too much sense and wasn't chaotic enough). Overall, it's still too early to tell whether Smash 4 will steal the crown from Melee as the "BEST GAEM EVAR!" But I do know this much; Smash 4 is some of the most fun I've had in a long time, and the only reason I'm not playing it right now is because my 3DS is recharging and I'm not a fan of playing it on the Wii U Gamepad screen.


 So yeah, those were the best games of 2014. I do want to point out that these games are listed in NO PARTICULAR ORDER, so if you're wondering why Game X isn't higher than Game Y, it's because these are the first ones that I thought of. However, if I were to rank them, they would be....a complete and totally secret to everyone but me. In any case, thanks for reading this, and if you agree, disagree, or if there's a game you think I missed, let me know. Of course it won't matter because as the title says, I'm totally right and this is infallible because I'm infallible and everything I say should totally be taken seriously and at face value.

Anyway, have a happy holiday season, play a lot of games, and stay classy. Good night, and good luck.

Back in late September, I started a list of the 10 greatest Nintendo games ever made. You can read part 1 here. I'm not a fan of leaving things unfinished, so without further ado, here's the thrilling conclusion of the ten best Nintendo games. Same rules with this list as the last one: one entry per franchise, this list is my opinion, etc. 

5. Pokémon Silver (Game Boy) 

A main Pokémon game was going to end up on this list one way or another. The question though was which one was I going to pick? Pokémon Red/Blue/Yellow are the games that started the series, Pokémon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum are the games that personally brought me back into the series, Pokémon Black/White/BL2/WH2 are the games that improved the online first introduced in Pokémon Diamond/Pearl, and despite them being my least favorite games in the entire series (and almost made me stop playing the games altogether), I can’t deny the impact that Pokémon Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald had on the series by introducing Abilities and Double Battles. Hell, you could probably make a solid case for the recent Pokémon X/Y games for having a robust online network, streamlining a lot of the meta game, and introducing Mega Evolutions, as well as adding the Fairy type, which completely wrecks Dragon types. But after thinking it over, I just couldn’t in good conscience put anything but the second generation of games, otherwise known as Pokémon Gold/Silver/Crystal; and when I say I’m discussing the second generation of Pokémon games, I of course mean Pokémon Silver, since that’s the one I played and owned (also because Lugia > Ho-oh).

Much like Donkey Kong Country 2, Pokémon Silver is the definition of a good sequel, building on the already solid foundation established by the original games, as well as adding some ideas of its own. For example, this was the first game to include a day and night cycle (complete with a built in clock), with certain events, characters, areas and even Pokémon showing up at certain times of the day; an already impressive feat made even more so when you consider the fact that the average memory size of a Game Boy/Game Boy Color cartridge ranged from 32KB-1MB, which on the high end is about one one-thousandth the size of The Shivering Isles DLC for The Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion. This game also introduced breeding, an idea that would be further built upon by later installments like Ruby/Sapphire/Emerald. It’s also a really nice looking and sounding game for the time, as the land and people of Johto pay homage to Japanese culture with the towers of Ecruteak City or the Kimono Girl Trainers that you occasionally battle; it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say that this game was one of my earliest exposures to Japan and its culture, and helped foster a newfound respect and admiration to their culture. But easily the biggest contribution that Pokémon Silver brought to the series in my opinion was the introduction of two new types of Pokémon: the Steel types, which had strong defense but were mostly weak against Fire and Fighting types, and the Dark type, which was strong against Ghost and immune to Psychic Pokémon (which I found out the hard way after using my level 100 Mewtwo from my Blue game against an Umbreon), but were weak against Bug and Fighting types. Both of these types not only changed some Pokémon types (like Magnemite and Magenton), but also changed how Trainers set up their teams, as both of these new types were weak against the aforementioned Fighting-type.

Pokémon Silver came out at a pretty important time in my young life. By the time it came out in 2000, the Pokémon series as a whole was starting to wane in popularity among many of my classmates, with many of them leaving the franchise behind to get in on the new hip, edgy series at the time called Digimon. I was on the verge of being one of those poor unfortunate souls, until I got a copy of Pokémon Silver as a gift for renewing my subscription to Nintendo Power (R.I.P.), and it’s without a doubt the game that showed me that I was ready to stick with this Pokémon thing in the long run. Not only does it stand out as a good Pokémon game, but it’s also a good game in its own right, and while I’ve had a bit of a rocky relationship with the series over the years, I’ll never forget my time and the memories I had playing Pokémon Silver. Oh, and for those of you wondering (since I’m sure you’re going to ask): Gen 2 > Gen 6 > Gen 5 = Gen 4 > Gen 1 > Gen 3.

4. Mother 3 (Game Boy Advance)

 So I know this goes without saying, but if you own a Wii U and still haven’t done so, stop reading this and go download Earthbound off the Wii U Virtual Console; it’s easily the best ten bucks you can spend outside of two Hot-N-Ready pizzas from Little Caesar’s. But as much as I love Earthbound, it’s the GBA sequel Mother 3 that holds a special place in my heart. Originally meant to be released on Nintendo’s doomed N64 DD, Mother 3 was moved to the N64 before being cancelled (due to the development team being unfamiliar with 3D technology), before ultimately being revived on the Game Boy Advance, this time using sprites and telling a much darker, sadder story than the one present in Earthbound. However, since everyone and their mom (ha) has already gone over the story and world in Mother 3 (I myself may do that one of these days), I’m not going to be talking about it too much for this list, though do know that it’s one of the few instances in any medium where a story made me cry. Instead, I’ll be mainly focusing on another aspect of Mother 3 that people don’t talk about as much, but they really should; the combat.

While the game follows the same turned based system that was in the original (which in turn was loosely based off of Dragon Quest’s combat), Mother 3 adds something to make the combat much more interesting: a combo system, or Sound Battle as the game calls it. The way it works is this: whenever you do a regular attack, hit the attack button again according to the rhythm of the song playing during battle (represented by an enemy’s heartbeat, which you can hear by putting them to sleep). The twist is that the music that plays in battle is never the same, and that each enemy has a different heartbeat; some enemies have a fast beat, requiring you to hit the attack button at a fast rate, while others have slower beats, which means hitting the button a little slower. If it sounds complicated and confusing to you, it’s probably because it is complicated and confusing (especially if you’re someone like me who lacks rhythm), but that makes the combat all the more interesting and deeper than most game. And when you do successfully pull it off? Man what a genuinely great feeling.

Everyone already knows the story about the release of Mother 3 at this point that it almost doesn’t need repeating; Mother 3 released near the end of the Game Boy Advance’s life, Nintendo decided not to release it outside of Japan, and currently has no plans to localize it anytime soon. Yeah it sucks, and it’s one of those Nintendo decisions that I absolutely hate, but it’s ancient history by this point. Besides, it’s not all bad, as a group of dedicated fans went out of their way to not only translate the game into English, but also distributed it for free and is pretty painless to use (provided you’re cool with emulation). I’ve used the translation myself when playing the game, and I recommend it to anyone who wants to give the game a try and can’t speak Japanese. In fact, I would recommend playing Mother 3 regardless, as it’s an absolutely wonderful game, with interesting characters, a great story, a surprisingly deep combat system, and an excellent soundtrack; it’s easily my favorite RPGs of all time, and I don’t say that lightly. And much like Earthbound, even if you’ve seen videos and screenshots of it and it doesn’t look all that appealing to you, play it anyway, since there really hasn’t been many games like it before or since its release.

3. Metroid Prime (Gamecube)

One of the biggest things that Nintendo is famous for is its willingness to try new things and take risks, and in 2002 there was no bigger risk than Retro Studios’ debut game: Metroid Prime. Started in 2000 after Miyamoto paid a visit to the studio and suggested they make a new Metroid game using a new action adventure game engine that Retro had developed, the game had a troubled development, with problems ranging from the team being unable to get the camera to work in third person (prompting the game to become first person), to having most of what was worked entirely scrapped at one point (mainly due to the switch to first person), and even Retro supposedly missing various deadlines; heck, by the end of the development cycle, Retro was working eighty-one hundred hours a week to meet their final milestone. There were also reports coming out at the time that Retro had some internal strife, with some people at Retro reportedly being very unhappy with how the company was being managed; the cancellation of a bunch of games that the company was working and laying off employees certainly didn’t help either, and Metroid Prime ended up being the only game they were working on. Oh yeah, and the gaming press and Metroid fans weren’t exactly thrilled that Nintendo and Retro were taking a beloved 2D franchise and making it a first person shoo-sorry, I meant first person adventure. But despite all of these shortcomings, the game released in North America on November 17th, 2002….and it bombed horribly, going down in history as one of the worse games ever made, dooming the Metroid franchise to a life of obscurity, and guaranteeing that Nintendo would never outsource their big franchises to outside companies ever again. Naw, I’m just messing with you guys; Metroid Prime is freaking awesome.

Ironically, the first person gameplay that everyone was vehemently opposed to prior to the game’s release also happens to be its most defining feature. The Metroid games are famous for giving off a sense of isolation and loneliness via exploring strange alien worlds, and Metroid Prime has this in spades, because this time you aren’t looking at Samus move around on screen; you ARE Samus, exploring the mysterious Tallon IV, and Retro wants you to remember that. Everything from rain rolling down Samus’ visor to a pair of eyes that show up whenever you shoot your Charge Beam in the dark go a long way to make you feel like you’re badass bounty hunter Samus Aran and you don’t need to crawl. It’s easily one of the most immersive games I’ve ever played, and I don’t make that statement lightly. The game is also incredibly beautiful, both in terms of sound and visuals; if there was a game that I would love to see an HD upgrade of, it’s Metroid Prime.

I know a lot of you are reading this and are going to say “Y U NO PUT DOWN SUPER METROID?” While I do feel that Super Metroid is an excellent game (seriously you should download it on the Wii U Virtual Console), the original Metroid Prime I feel is the superior game in every possible way. It’s one of those games where it has a bunch of ideas that you don’t think would work (i.e. “let’s make Metroid first person”) not only absolutely work beautifully, but work so well, you’re not sure if you can play another game without them (see Ocarina of Time and Sonic the Hedgehog 2). This was the game that put Retro on my short list of developers I get excited for, alongside other great developers like Platinum. And while I thoroughly enjoyed how Retro handled the Donkey Kong Country series, I would absolutely love for them to go back to the Metroid series. It couldn’t be any worse than what Team Ninja did.

2. The Legend of Zelda: The Wind Waker (Gamecube)

Let me just get this out of the way right now: The Wind Waker is my all-time favorite Zelda game, and it always has been. I know that that doesn’t sound like a big deal, but it’s very easy to forget that many gamers were singing a different tune when Wind Waker was first announced. After showing off a pretty sweet tech demo of a realistic Link fighting Ganondorf at Nintendo Space World 2000, Nintendo showed off the first footage of what would be known as the Wind Waker a year later, and it was completely different than what everyone had expected (despite Nintendo saying that the tech demo was basically that…a tech demo). Instead of a realistic Link, Nintendo decided to go with a cartoony look for titular hero, and instead of exploring an open world, players were exploring a vast ocean. Zelda fans and some game journalists were furious at Nintendo over this; the game was slammed leading up to the launch, with some people saying that it looked childish (no it didn’t), that Nintendo was abandoning their older fans to appeal to children (gee, never heard that one before), and that it was unfit for a Zelda game (no it wasn’t). Video Gamer X, the webmaster for one of the earliest Zelda fan websites known as The Odyssey of Hyrule went so far to compare early screenshots to the Philips CD-i games, and called it “animated C-quality Disney garbage”; so yeah, to say initial reaction of Wind Waker was lukewarm was an understatement, but then a funny thing happened. People played the game, and what a surprise; it was actually really good, taking the best elements of Ocarina of Time and Majora’s Mask and refining them while doing some cool stuff of its own.

Ben “Yahtzee” Croshaw of Zero Punctuation fame once called sailing across the open sea in Wind Waker as “lending itself wonderfully to that eternally misused adjective ‘epic’”, and that’s an apt description in my opinion. The Great Sea is a huge, vast body of water that has a ton of memorable land marks and islands to explore, and while the Great Sea isn’t as big as say San Andreas or Skyrim, it’s still very easy to get lost in the best possible way sailing from one quadrant to another. Even though I’ve one hundred percent completed the game hundreds of times, I still find myself just sailing on the ocean for a bit with no real purpose, looking for treasure, or just chatting it up with the locals on the various islands. Speaking of the NPCs, the NPCs in Wind Waker are easily some of my favorite in any video game, like ever, as they each have unique looks and personalities that really go a long way in making me care about my quest; I’m not just going to stop Ganondorf because reasons, I’m stopping him because I care about these oddballs that I’ve met over the course of my adventure and have grown to love (except Tingle; screw that guy). And speaking of Ganondorf, I’m not really a fan of the character, but this version of the Great King of Evil is easily my favorite, as not only is he genuinely powerful and intimidating, but this is the game where we learn a little bit of his early life and understand some of his motivation for why he wants to take over Hyrule (at least in this timeline); I didn’t agree with him, but I could totally see where he was coming from and why he did what he did. This version of Link is also my favorite as well, as he’s not some stoic hero who goes out to save the world because it’s his destiny, but rather he’s some kid who goes out and explore this world that’s foreign to him because his sister was kidnapped by a giant bird; he’s young, reckless, and kind of an idiot (he gets his ass kicked three times during the game), but he’s still a likable character who has depth, and who has to earn his title as a great hero.

Now as much I gushed over how awesome Wind Waker is (seriously you have no idea how much I want to play it right now), I will be the first to admit that it isn’t for everybody. While I didn’t mind the sailing and the now infamous Triforce Shard quest near the end of the game, I can see why some people aren’t. Hell if I didn’t play when it first came out (I was 14 at the time), I don’t know if I would have appreciated it as much as I did. It’s also the reason why I’m a little hesitant to recommend the Wii U remake, since unlike the Ocarina of Time remake on the 3DS, there are still elements of the original game that are still in the remake, like sailing and collecting the Triforce shards. However, for those of you who still haven’t played or want to give it a chance, I highly recommend you try it out. Wind Waker is a beautiful game (both in terms of art style and sound), with interesting characters and dungeons, a story that is both silly and sad at the same time, and respects and pays homage to the N64 games in wonderful and fun ways (I won’t spoil it here if you haven’t played it yet). You know what screw it, I’m playing through Wind Waker again; be right back.

1. Super Mario Galaxy (Wii)

I make no secret of the fact that the original Super Mario Galaxy is my personal favorite game of all time. But as much as I adore the game, I almost wasn’t going to include it on this list. The Mario franchise is so iconic and well known that I could have put any game in the main series on this list, and I would have had a good case for it being number one. The original Super Mario Bros. laid the ground work for the series (and Nintendo as a company) going forward, Super Mario Bros. 3 introduced flying, World gave us Yoshi, 64 brought the plumber into the 3rd dimension, Sunshine was a…..interesting experiment, the list goes on. So for me to include Super Mario Galaxy on this list simply because it’s my personal favorite feels a little unfair, especially compared to other games in the series. But after thinking about a bit more, I realized that Super Mario Galaxy is worthy of being on this list, and at number one no less. Super Mario Galaxy is the best game Nintendo has ever made, and is the kind of game that I want to make.

Super Mario Galaxy is, at its core, a 3D Mario game, but IN SPACE. If it sounds like a straightforward simple concept, that’s because it is, but that works in the game’s favor, as the team took a concept as simple as gravitational platforming and came up with some truly amazing ideas. The levels (or galaxies as they’re called) are rich with color and life, with many platforms acting like a planet (complete with its own gravity), and playing on familiar platforming tropes we’ve become all too familiar with (like an ice world mixed with a lava world), and the things you’re doing in these galaxies are truly some of the most fun things I’ve ever done in any video game. One minute you’ll be surfing on a manta ray on courses that wouldn’t feel out of place in Mario Kart 8, and the next you’re pulling a Shadow of Colossus and climbing atop a giant robot, which has its own center of gravity, as if it was a planet of itself. All of this is accompanied by the most beautiful soundtrack that’s fully orchestrated a first for the series. Speaking of firsts, Super Mario Galaxy is the first game to introduce us to Rosalina, who has quickly become my favorite character in the Mario series.  

I realize now that three paragraphs isn’t enough space for me to talk about how amazing Super Mario Galaxy, and I doubt I’d be able to convince anyone of that with a full blog post. But that’s fine; because as far as I’m concerned, Super Mario Galaxy is not only the best game on the Wii and the best Mario game, but also the best representation of Nintendo’s design philosophy, in which gameplay is king. It doesn’t have an open world to explore or a moral choice system, and outside of Rosalina’s Storybook (which you can skip if you want because it’s super sad as hell), there isn’t a deep narrative that asks hard hitting questions. But Super Mario Galaxy doesn’t need any of that, as it can stand toe-to-toe with any modern game just on its gameplay and fun levels alone. It’s also one of the few games on the Wii that not only did motion controls well, but also did it in a way that actually made sense. There really isn’t much else I can say without being redundant; Super Mario Galaxy in an amazing game that is just as fun now as it was seven years ago, and is easily the greatest game Nintendo has ever made.


So what do you guys think? Do you agree or disagree? Maybe you think I was being pretentious when talking about Super Mario Galaxy (it’s really amazing guys, I swear)? In any case, let me know what you think. Apologizes that this didn’t come out sooner; real life can be crazy like that. Anyway, thanks for reading. Good night and good luck. 

Hey Dtoid, how are you doing? Good I hope. Anyway, for those of you who don't know, Super Smash Bros. 4 came out on the Wii U last Friday in the US, with Europe and Australia getting it this week, and Japan getting it in early December (SUCK IT JAPAN). After playing it on and off during the weekend, I was able to unlock all the characters and stages (I'm still working on the music), and based on what I've played so far, it's an excellent game overall that's easily in the running for my personal GOTY. It didn't take long for me to find my groove and start fisting the computer as Little Mac (WHO I TOTALLY CALLED DIBS ON BACK IN SEPTEMBER), though thanks to the 3DS version I've found that I'm also pretty good with Rosalina, Lucina, and Robin.

However, I have a problem Dtoid. As much as I've enjoyed my time with Smash, there's one part of the game I haven't tackled yet ,and no I'm not talking about Smash Tour, which you have to play at least three times to unlock Pac-Man's stage (THANKS OBAMA). No I'm talking about the online component. You see, even though I've been warming up to playing games online over the last few years, I do so under a few strict self imposed guidelines, one of those being I don't play online with complete strangers (and yes the irony of that is not lost on me). This is because strangers are terrible people who lie to you, say mean things to you, and trick you into their windowless van with the promise of free candy. That's where you guys come in.

You see, I need more people to play with online, and thought what better place to go than the site that's become my second dysfunctional family? If you own a Wii U and have Smash 4, or if you plan on getting them sometime soon, let's exchange Nintendo Network IDs, or NNIDs. I know I added a couple of you when Mario Kart 8 came out back in May, but let's see if we can do more. I'm also thinking that if I get enough people and the time, maybe I can start an online tournament or something, though I can't make any promises. Obviously not right now, since I imagine things are chaotic right now for most people, but maybe sometime down the line when we're all familar with the game.

So yeah Dtoid, if you own a Wii U and have or plan on getting Smash, comment and add people who have already commented. For those wondering, my NNID is GoobyPls89. Hell, even if you don't own Smash, show us your NNIDs anyway; the more the merrier I say. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to play some 8 Player Smash on the Great Cave Offensive. See ya guys online! 

Hello and welcome to the debut of a new series that I'm trying out called "Do's and Don'ts"(name not final), a series in which I talk about what developers and publishers should/shouldn't do when it comes to games, practices, etc. For this inagural post, I figure I start off talking about Super Smash Bros 4 DLC. If you like this and want to see more or if you think some things need to be improved, please let me know.

So did you guys see that recent Nintendo Direct covering the Wii U version of Super Smash Bros. 4? It was pretty awesome, wasn't it? I don't know about you guys, but that Direct did the impossible and actually made me even more excited for Smash then I already was, which is saying quite a bit since I was already pretty excited (I had to change my pants twice during the Direct!). Eight players at once, events and coin matches are returning, Classic mode got an update, Ridley could be fought on the Pyrosphere stage, online voice chat, return of some classic stages, etc. But without a doubt, the biggest news for a lot of people was that Smash was going to have some kind of DLC when the game comes out, starting with return of fan favorite Mewtwo to people who owned both the 3DS and Wii U version of Super Smash Bros. 4.

Now while some people may have lamented Nintendo for making Mewtwo free for people who owned both copies for the time being, the one thing that stood out to me was that Nintendo is doing DLC for Smash; and honestly, that kind of worried me. Don't me get wrong; even though they only just started doing it, Nintendo has been hitting out of the park with how they've handled DLC, with Fire Emblem: Awakening and Mario Kart 8 being excellent examples of them doing it right. Super Smash Bros. is a completely different beast when it comes to DLC; you just can't throw a character into the game and call it a day. You have to make sure they're balanced and not overpowered, making sure that no one has an advantage over another player because they put down five bucks; this also holds true when you talk about including stages, since unlike other fighting games, the stages in Smash actually matter when it comes to who wins (yes that includes flat neutral stages like Final Destination).

So Nintendo, if you're reading this first of all, thank you for doing so. But most importanly, you need to handle the DLC for Smash 4 with a lot more care than you're usually famous for. So here are a few Do's and Dont's of how to DLC in Super Smash Bros. 4

DO: Make the DLC reasonable priced, and make it worthwhile


An example of doing it right.

As I said earlier, Nintendo is one of the few companies that's been doing DLC pretty well despite them only doing it pretty recently. Still, it should go without saying that the DLC for Smash 4 should be pretty reasonable, depending of course on how Nintendo wants to distribute said DLC. Do they want to do what they did with Mario Kart 8 and have a a pack containg certain characters and courses? Or do they want to do what they did with Fire Emblem Awakening Mario Golf: World Tour where you can buy characters and chapters indvidually or buy it all at once with a Season Pass? Personally, in the case of Smash, I'd lean toward the former rather than the latter, if for no other reason then you could do some pretty cool stuff with it.

Think about it: for like $8.99 you can buy a pack themed around a series, like Fire Emblem. It would include a couple of characters (which I'll go into later), a few trophies, a stage (though one not necessarily based on the series), and maybe some costumes if it's not too much trouble. Or you could buy three packs (based on Fire Emblem, Pokemon, & Star Fox for example) for a price of say $13.99, give or take. In any case, make the DLC something that's both meaty in content, but doesn't cost an arm and a leg to get.

 DON'T: Make the DLC characters exclusive to certain versions



I own the 3DS version of Smash, and I'm currently in the process of seeing how much my non-vital organs are worth on the black market (kidneys are overrated anyway) to get the Wii U version. But some people don't have non-vital organs to sell, or they don't have any desire to play a game like Smash on the 3DS (for the record, outside of the analog nub having a problem with pressing down, which it's had for awhile, I haven't had any problems playing the 3DS version, despite having an OG Red 3DS and big, meaty, claws). This in turn made the news that Mewtwo was going to be given for free to people who owned both versions of the game a hard pill to swallow for some. While I personally don't mind that (since again I'm getting both versions), I can see why some people are little upset by it, especially because Mewtwo is a pretty popular character. So protip Nintendo; going forward, don't make the characters exclusive to one version or the other.

You see that picture I linked above? That's the infamous chart on the Watch Dogs wikipedia page that shows what content was avilable for each version of the game.  Obviously, that's an extreme example, but my point still stands; make sure the DLC characters are avilable for both versions of the game. For example, if you're going to include Ice Climbers as DLC, make sure they work in both the Wii U and 3DS versions, or don't include them at all. Speaking of the Ice Climbers, this segways perfectly to my next point:

DON'T: Release only clones and veteran characters



At this point, complaining about clones in Smash is like watching Game of Thrones and getting upset because your favorite character died. The same goes with characters that aren't clones but are still pretty weird like the Ice Climbers. They may be weird and not especially popular among certain players, but they are still a part of what makes Smash unique. That being said, as much as I love both the clones (except Pichu) and the weird, unique characters, I'm not all that willing to pay money to play as these characters, especially Pichu. Because I hate Pichu.

Now, I'm not saying you shouldn't release them at all as DLC, but if you're going to, balance it out with new characters that have never been playable in Smash before. Take Mortal Kombat 9 for example (yes, I know it's a completely different game from Smash, but it's still worth a mention in my opinion); it may have had only four DLC characters, but they were evenly split between classic characters (Kenshi, Rain), and new characters (Skarlet, Freddy Krueger). As an added bonus, since Smash is a game that takes characters from famous Nintendo franchises, you have plenty of characters to choose from. Hell, here are just some new characters that I thought of off the top of my head (in no particular order):

  • Zael (The Last Story)
  • Krystal (Star Fox)
  • Lyn (Fire Emblem)
  • Reyn (Xenoblade Chronicles)
  • Magnus (Kid Icarus: Uprising)
  • Ghirahim (The Legend of Zelda)
  • Rayman (Rayman)
  • Amy Rose (Sonic the Hedgehog)
  • Zero (Mega Man X)

And before any of you bring it up, yes I know a few of those characters I listed are also Assist Trophies, but considering Little Mac debuted in Brawl as an Assist Trophy before being fully playable in Smash 4, I think it's pretty safe to assume that today's Assist Trophies are tomorrow's Smashers.

DO: Release the DLC in a timely matter


This one is pretty self-explantory, but it should still be said. Release the DLC in a timely matter; not too early after release, but not too late that the game is forgotten. Based on the (admittedly somewhat vague) release date of Mewtwo being released in Spring of 2015, it does seem like Nintendo is on the right path. I know that it sounds a ways off, but if you look at other fighting games like Mortal Kombat 9 and the most recent Injustice: Gods Among Us, the release date for the DLC is within reason, as those games were supported with quite a bit of post-launch content; in the case of Injustice, the last DLC character (Zatanna) was released almost five months after the game was initially released. Granted, at this point we only know of one character so far (Mewtwo), but if there are other DLC characters that are coming out, I would hope they come out sooner rather than later.


Anyway, that's it for this inaugral post of "Do's and Don'ts. What do you guys think? Do you agree, disagree, think I missed something? Maybe you think I'm full of it and don't know what I'm talking about? In any case, please let me know. Hopefully this won't be the last one of these that I do, and hopefully I can come up with a better title. I intend to make this be a bit more laid back than what I usually write, hence some of the swearing and the pacing. Thanks for reading; good night and good luck.

I've been walking the planet Earth for twenty five years now. And over the course of those twenty five years, I've learned some very important lessons, like what to eat and what not to eat, what not to stick in the electrical socket, etc. But of all the lessons that I've learned, there's one that I feel everybody should take to heart: always let the people you care about in your life know that you apperiate them and what they do for you. I've been a member of Destructoid for about four to five years, but I feel I haven't really expressed how much I apperciate being here as a part of the community. That changes today.

I suppose I should start from the beginning. I first discovered Destructoid around late 2009/early 2010 (it's still a little hazy on when I first discovered this site, but I know I was still in college at the time), after someone on 4chan linked to a blog post by someone in the community about the final battle with Giygas in Earthbound. It was an interesting read, and it peaked my curiosity about the rest of the site, so I began lurking around a bit. After getting over the intial shock of having random people talk about each other's dicks without someone getting offended, it became clear to me that Destructoid would be a place that I would fit in perfectly. And so after lurking for a bit, I did something that I very rarely do, even with sites I visit frequently; I started an account, made my user name, picked my avatar, and started commenting.

 I'll be the first to admit that I was kind of an asshole when I first joined. I'd get mad at people who disagreed with me, got into a couple of fights with people, and overall wasn't very pleasent. It would have been easy for me to blame the fact that I was on 4chan, but the truth of the matter was that I was never good with interacting with people, both online and in real life. Despite this, the community still somewhat embarced me, and even taught me a few things of how not to act like a terrible human being. Soon, I was commenting with some of the regulars, making random dick jokes, and overall having a good time; it was the first time I could remember since college that I felt a strange closeness to random strangers.

And honestly, that's the thing I love the most Destructoid, and it's why I've stayed here for as long as I have. You guys do an excellent job of making new people who want to be a part of this place feel welcome, as if they were always part of the community from day one. You guys have a wide range of views, opinions, and personal tastes, and while we don't always agree with each other (just reading the comments on any Holmes post is evidence of that), it's clear that everyone's opinions matter in the discussion, something that you don't see very often nowadays. And even though I haven't met most of you in person, the fact that I consider many of you to be my friends says a lot. The fact that I can get my gaming news and can read reviews here as well is just icing on the cake.

Now, as much as I love all you guys and intend to stay for as long as possible, I'm also not blind. I know that over the years many people have felt somewhat dissatisfied by what's been going on with this site, saying that things aren't as good as it use to be, that things have changed, or that Dtoid just sucks now. And right now, there are people who I care and respect who have left, are currently leaving, or are going to leave soon, and to those people I say: I'm sorry to see you go. I'm not going to stop you, nor would it feel right that I did; you guys do what you have to do, and I wish you all the best in whatever you do going forward. I understand where you're coming from, and in some cases I agree with your reasons.

But you know what? I'm not going anywhere. While I don't agree with a lot of the stuff that's been going on lately, it's not enough to make pack up my bags and move on. In fact if anything, a lot of this stuff has made me realize what's the most important to me, and one of those things is making this place as cool and awesome as it was when I first found it. Which is why I'm here to make a promise to you right now.

Starting today, I intend to be a bit more active here; which is saying a lot, considering I've been pretty active on the FP. I already have a couple of ideas of things that I want to write about (as well as a couple of things that have been in limbo for awhile), and while I can't give a solid date of when stuff will be coming around (real life can be weird like that), I can promise that you'll be see much more of me around here; the only thing I ask from the rest of you is to do the same thing. If you're a new person who just got here, tell us about yourself and how you came here. If you're an old timer who came back after a bit, tell us how you've been; regardless of who you are, let's do what we can to make this place feel awesome. Staff may come and go, people change, but the community and the memories and experinces we share last a lifetime.

And you know what, if things do ultimately end up going south, if the good ship Destructoid ultimately hits an iceberg and we go down, then it happens. But at least I can say that I tried; because I love you guys, and I always will. And so, to the staff and the community, I say thank you for welcoming me to your neck of the woods, and here's to another four to five years of me being an awkward, unfunny nerd among my fellow awkward, unfunny nerds. Also cocks.

So, Super Smash Bros. 4 came out on the 3DS a little more than a week ago in Japan, revealing the final roster for us to see (don't worry, I won't spoil it here for those of you who don't want to know, and I ask anyone who reads this to do the same). The roster was rather impressive, and I feel that Sakurai and his team should be commened for putting together a diverse roster of characters to play around with. Despite that, I still wasn't sure who I was going to use as my main. Indeed, a lot of the characters looked really fun, but none of them I felt really clicked with me as someone I would want to main.  Rosalina is my favorite Mario character and is from my favorite game of all time, but seemed too techinical for my tastes. Greninja looked cool, but I usually don't main Pokemon in Smash. Robin and Lucina were both from my favorite game of last year, but I needed someone that packed a punch. I needed someone who could hit hard and fast, who could get in close and wreck his opponent, but who was fast and nimble enough to get out of harm's way. I needed someone who had the eye of the tiger, who could float like butterfly, sting like a bee, and all those other Rocky refernces. And then it hit me.

After months of uncertainty, I felt so foolish that the obvious answer was right in front of me the whole time. And so, my fellow Dtoiders, I come to you now as a changed man. I have seen the error of my ways; I have seen the light, and it is beautiful. It gives me great joy to finally utter these sacred words at last; I call DIBS on Little Mac for Super Smash 4. Little Mac is everything that you want in a Smash character and then some. He's got the heart of a champion, and the power to back it up. He's taken on some of the biggest, baddest, meanest boxers the WVBA could throw at him, and lived to tell the tale. Little Mac is the greatest character ever, and here are just a few of the reasons why I'm going to main him.

1. Little Mac Is Great At Taking On Impossible Odds


 At first glance, you might be thinking that Little Mac doesn't stand much of a chance in Smash. I mean, the starting roster alone includes a pair of brothers that shoot fire from their hands, a Peter Pan knockoff who's chosen by the gods to wield the "Blade of Evil's Bane", a giant gorilla, two fire breathing reptiles, three legendary swordsmen and a mage, a goddess and her angel errand boy, an intergalctic MILF, a ninja frog, a robot whose nickname is the Blue Bomber, a bounty hunter that shoots missles from her arm, a British guy who can see into the future, and Captain Falcon. Yeah, those aren't exactly great odds, and to say Little Mac has an uphill battle is an understatement. But you know what? That's just an average day in the life of Little Mac. Time and again, Little Mac has proven that you should never under-estimate him, as doing so is bad for your health. In his first game, Little Mac dreamed of being a champion boxer, but no trainer would take him on because he was considered too small to box. Things changed when he met Doc Louis, a former heavyweight boxer himself, who took Little Mac under his wing and taught him everything he knows, including his patented Star Punch, and before long Little Mac was working his way up the World Video Boxing Association, before ultimately taking on Kid Dynamite Mike Tyson himself (which I'll cover in a bit). So no, I'm not worried about Little Mac; if anything, I'm worried about the other players. Which brings me to my next point....

2. Little Mac Doesn't Need A Gimmick To Win

This is for Sonic '06!

Little Mac doesn't have a gun. He doesn't have wings, he doesn't shoot lasers from his arm, he doesn't have a piece of a sacred triangle in his hand, nor does he possess a sword created by a divine dragon. He doesn't shoot electricity from his cheeks, he doesn't have Pikmin, a Toad, or Lumas to fight for him, and he isn't Captain Falcon. So what does Little Mac have? Pure, raw power. His punches are fast and powerful, which he uses to wail on anyone who makes jokes about his height. He can bob and weave like the best of them, and you can't do a thing about it because he can get up close and personal when he has to be, and clear out when he has to cool off. And that's not even considering his unique Star Punch, which is powerful enough to KO any poor sucker who was too stupid or slow enough to get out of the way.So yeah, keep your Triforce of Courage and your magic books and Power Suit. None of it is going to do you a damn bit of good as Little Mac sends you on a one way trip to the hospital; hope you don't mind the food.

3. Little Mac Took On Mike Tyson......AND WON


Yes, THAT Mike Tyson. The same Mike Tyson who holds the record as the youngest boxer to win the Heavyweight Boxing Champion title for the WBC (World Boxing Council), the WBA (World Boxing Assocation) and the IBF (International Boxing Federation) at 20 years old, and the only boxer in history to hold all three titles AT THE SAME TIME. The same Mike Tyson who won his first 19 fights by KO, 12 which he KO'ed IN THE FIRST ROUND. The same Mike Tyson who won 50 of his 58 career matches. The same Mike Tyson who BIT OFF A PIECE OF EVANDER HOLYFIELD'S EAR. And the same Mike Tyson who owned not one, not two, but THREE white bengal tigers; because he was crazy like that. Say what you will about the terrible stuff he did outside of the ring, but in the ring, at his prime, Mike Tyson was not a force to be taken lightly. And Little Mac, knowing everything I just told you, looked to Doc Louis and said, "yeah, I can take him". And he did too, something that no other Smash character can claim. 

4. Little Mac wears A Pink Jump Suit

Just looking at this picture gets me pumped

I saved the best and most important reason for last. Little Mac wears a pink jumpsuit, which is actually one of his alternate costumes in Smash 4. And since everyone knows that pink is the manliest color ever, we can conclude that Little Mac is a manly character since he wears manly colors. "But Goof", I hear you say. "Pink isn't a manly color! It's a girly color that only girly girls wear!" Do you wanna know who else wears pink? Batman. And Captain Falcon. And I think we can agree, both of them are people you don't want to mess with. Kind of like Little Mac.

And those are the reasons why I'm calling DIBS on Little Mac in Smash 4. You're probably reading this and saying to yourself "man, that intelligent, handsome, modest gentleman GoofierBrute really convinced me  of the awesomeness that is Little Mac. I can't wait to use him!" Too bad, because I already called DIBS. Don't worry though, I'm sure there are other awesome character you can use, like Mario....and Link...maybe Pit, I guess? Of course, it isn't going to matter who you pick to use, because in my hands, Little Mac is going to be unstoppable. We'll crush any and all opposition that comes our way. And we'll have a blast doing it. So if you see someone online playing Little Mac, you should probably run, since I play for keeps.

See you on October 3!