Instead of doing the two very important Maths assignments I should have already finished years ago, I'm instead choosing to return to Dtoid to talk about something I believe isn't getting a lot of actually important analysis on mainstream gaming sites (besides all the fact that Kickstarter is our Bandcamp movement and if utilised properly could overtake it in the race to relieve developers from the need to support evil corporate moneygrabbers who don't give a shit about games in favour of only support the small moneygrabbers who grab as much as they freaking can to make some damn good 'uns). For those post 00s Dtoid:
Hi, I'm GoldenGamerXero. You may remember me from my shitty blogs and being the laziest comments of the week editor who only didn't get kicked off because everybody else was too nice and needed a break every couple weeks. This is my blog. Now onto the blog:
Twitch Plays Pokemon is the most important video game related social media event in the last decade.
Like a lot of other loser man-child, tingle style fairy boys I'm moving on to wasting my student loans on comics instead of games these days. I bought Wind Waker and Super Mario Sunshine on the Gigawondertron (I hear the worshippers of false idols refer to milord as the “Game of cubes”?) but that's mostly it on the gaming front with no WiiU sighted in the immediate future Still, I am an avid lover of games especially Nintendo IPs so news of TPP was gonna get to me eventually the same as it got to everybody.
If you don't know what Twitch Plays Pokemon is:
1: Dude get out from that rock, you looking like a less entertaining Patrick Star.
2: ^For serious. You're starting to stank up the joint.
3: ^^For serious. IT'S THE 3RD LINK WHEN YOU SEARCH POKEMON!
FFS PATRICK. TURN AROUND!
Anywhos... What started as a social experiment (The creator themself can be quoted referring to that phrasing as 'a fancy way of saying “I want to see what happens"') turned into an epidemic quicker than anyone could have possibly expected. Everybody's talking about the peak number of views of around 110,000 but what's important is the fact that that number is growing and keeps growing.
100,000 people joined together to play one game over the internet. Pause and think about the reality of that shit people. This is the equivalent of a Youtube comments section attempting to rewrite the Poetic Edda. All you could ever expect would be complete chaos which is exactly what you got due for the fact that somewhere within the endless babbling there's a good chunk of people spending hours destroying the efforts of everybody else trying to do their best to work together (in what is truly among the lowest personal victories imaginable) and yet as a group including the spammers have these people managed to beat half the game in less than a week because for whatever reason these monkeys do not need infinite time.
The fact this is getting anywhere at all is pretty good evidence that the internet is made up of largely of the same proportions of the real world: a massive chunk of good, decent people who have their own thoughts and feelings (and who may be a bit inconsiderate when they're just trying to catch a break every once in a while) and a bunch of douchebags.
All these people are working like a system which has been programmed with several errors to complete a task. They're all cogs in a machine that could be said to be both doomed to fail and inevitable to succeed because though the vast majority of them know how to complete a Pokemon game, very few of them can have the imagination to understand how they would do so as a unit and thus: conflict. One of the greatest conflicts in video game history and it's started by everyone trying to be civil! The most interesting part of the social commentary came when users were presented the choice of democracy and anarchy and everybody started a constant back and forth between a system of order that was also impossibly slow and undiluted high octane chaos.
Arguments in favour of anarchy were that it's the original point of the experiment, it's pointless to just play a slow version of Pokemon Red just for the novelty and that none of the unforgettable moments that the player base went through when they were making stupid fast decisions would have ever happened without an unbias system whereas democracy still has the very good argument that there was no way out of Team Rocket's underground base with them spending half a day doing what a 10 year old could doing in less than 5 minutes.
Anarchy at this point has stopped being anarchy and is actually more like a poor man's socialism (in other words socialism HAH!) with Demoracy being the idea that only those who "know what to do" should be allowed control over everyone's actions on a large scale and Anarchy being a highly risky and messier system that in end the achieves the same results but just at varying paces.
Beyond the obvious metaphors of the game itself, there's plenty of interesting topics to choose from such as the flood of reddit and imgur with TPP memes and gameplay strategies. Knowing it's impossible to communicate within the actual chat, words of the current goals is spread through images and message boards to anyone who will listen. Amazingly it's resulted with the players currently as I type this trying to grind their Hypno in Pokemon Tower as a weird semi-kind-of-joint effort sort of deal with that being the next place they need to go and Hypno being the only 'mon TPP has that can actually hit Ghost types.
Besides Digrat but fuck that guy.
And that's about everything I can think of that I wanted to talk about TPP and in all recent news actually. I'm pretty sure you all will make insights and think more about it if you want to anyway so I'll end this with a late and (mostly) factious open letter to call out Nintendo's Virtual console division:
Dear you HUGE BUNCH OF FREAKING SKEEZBOTS
WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK WERE YOU BUNCH OF CUM BADGERS THINKING YOU WOULD ACCOMPLISH BY INCREASING THE PRICE OF EARTHBOUND LAST YEAR.
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT! ARE YOU FUELLING AN ORANGE POWER RING?!?!
IS THAT IT YOU FUCK JAGUARS! IS FUCKING LARFLEEZE YOUR FUCKING SENIOR DIRECTOR OF FUCKING FINANCE OR SOME SHIT?!?!??
Otherwise why would you PURPOSEFULLY give people reasons NOT to buy the game again?!?! So it could fail and you could be all like: “YUCK YUCK WE TOLD YOU NO ONE WOULD BUY IT LOLZ!”
Well too bad: It still sold ya pricklets so I speak for a quantity of EU gamers when I say enjoy your dirty, ill earned money and put out Mother fucking 3 on the fucking virtual console so we can fucking buy it and you can give some fucking money to Itoi and the rest of APE or Creatures Inc or whatever because they released the best RPG series of forever and so THEY-HAVE-FUCKING-EARNED-IT.
[Xero is a First Year at one of those unis for all the best Oxbridge rejects with too much time on his hands due to the terrible work ethic brought upon by actually succeeding to make it in anywhere at all. He's now going to attempt to work while eating copious numbers of peanut butter, marmalade and banana sandwiches (all one filling)]