Impressions of Pokemon Neophyte: I Haven't Traded the Game Yet! - Destructoid

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Hi, GoggolorAscendant here. Yeah, I missed an 'O' when entering my handle. Not the first time I've done something like that; won't be the last either.

So, I play mostly JRPG's and platformers. I used to own multiple systems, but Questar Gas decided that fun was not mine to be had. So now I find myself limited to my PS3 and DS Lite.

Three random favorite games: Rogue Galaxy(PS2); Metal Arms(Xbox); and Psychonauts(PS2).

Three games I'm currently playing: Final Fantasy I & II: Dawn of Souls(GBA); Pokemon Pearl(DS); and Ar Tonelico(PS2).

Three random things about me: I cracked my skull when I was year old and required 17 stitches in my forehead; only the second time I needed stitches was three weeks ago when I slice my knee open; and I quit my decent-paying insurance job in Atlanta, GA to move to Salt Lake City, UT to shovel snow. The skiing is much better out here. Also, I don't have to sacrifice a little piece of my soul every time I go to work.

Why I joined the Dtoid Community: I've been reading Destructoid for over a year now and finally felt like I had something to add.
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Day 4: Time for a recap!
Pokemon in play: ConEdison – Shinx
Granysmith – Grotle (evolved Turtwig)
Marsellus – Geodude (got captured with TheGimp)
TheGimp – Machop
Tempura – Magikarp
Pokemon Spotted: 21

Gonna swat the Bug catcher boy!

Ouch. I regret making that pun.

Ooh, Twin pokemon abusers! That’s hawt.

And now I can plant and harvest berries for my pokemons. The excitement just keeps going strong.

Oh, and I can trade Berries for Accessories. God, please kill me now. Wait…no, not me. Kill this game.

Ah, Team Galactic. I was wondering when they’d show up again.

A Pachirisu. An electric squirrel. We have a breed of squirrel in Little Cottonwood Canyon called Uinta Ground Squirrels. We call them potguts. The little buggers get into everything and it would be awesome if we could electrocute the fat little pests.

The electro-potgut is now called GunFodder.

“Like I’m really supposed to win with a Pokemon like this!” said the Galactic grunt as I fed him the pokemon pate Marsellus made from his Glamcat, or whatever it was. And with that one line, my respect for this game has risen. It’s still lower than a snake’s ass in a drainage ditch, but it has risen.

sigh Fetch quest back to town.

Hey! Team Galactic just tried to make a witness (me!) disappear. Respect goes up another notch.

Silcoon. Seriously?! A f***ing cocoon pokemon? Really scrapping the bottom of the barrel, Nintendo.

And yes, any gains in respect have now been wiped out by that one “pokemon”.

Team Galactic has a sense of irony. And emo. Lots of emo.

Bullet seed. Hehe. It looks like the other pokemon is getting slapped in the face by lots of balls. Hahaha! Granysmith teabagged the Zubat!

Dick jokes? Still funny.

Team Galactic: Not Very Tough, but Good for Comedic Relief. Which, I guess, is the whole point.

Why is not naming my Bidoof so “nihilistically cool”? This game makes no sense.

Oh boy, a whole building full of Team Galactic to bitchslap.

Yay! ConEdison learned a new attack.

Purugly is defintely aptly named…buuuuut, it’s not quite as fat as my cat.

Look, I know these games are targeted towards a younger audience, but still, giving one of the Galactic Commanders only two pokemons, and Zubat as one of them?! Cheesus, give me a f***ing challenge!!!

Balloon-based Pokemon. F*** me.

Hey there Little Camper! Ooh, what a pretty, pretty pony you have there! You wouldn’t know what to do with a girl if she landed in your lap, would you?

Oh f***. I forgot to heal up Marsellus. And Ponyta burned me for that mistake.

Yeeee-ah, I’m going to need a water-based pokemon. And soon.

No, Magikarp doesn’t count.

Dammit! The water pokemons around here are getting away from me.

Holy crap! Stoner Lady Elizabeth’s Budew just totally sucked my geodude dry!

Eh, I don’t want to wander all the way to Eterna City tonight. Thus, I’ll end it here for tonight.

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