I was born in the last millennium in the far off year of 1989... back before the invention of such things as the world wide web (seriously).
My home is on the side of a highway next to an animal laboratory. A pregnant lady once drove into my front yard in such a way as to send my father's car flying into a wall.
She was in a high-speed chase with the cops. I once got arrested for standing in a park, with the final charges coming to disorderly conduct, assault and battery on a police officer, and resisting arrest. Don't worry though I didn't do anything wrong... that cop was just being a real jerk.
I like video games. I really like the number 24. People in high school used to think I was always on drugs... yet I have never gotten high in my life (only on life!). I'm probably not as ugly or screwed up as you think I am. My friend thinks I am very bad luck. My grandma is adorable. My sister loves cats and wants to join the FBI and save the world (she hates bugs though). I've been to the murder capital of the world several times but don't feel much like going back cause it's kind of boring.
As a kid I used to play on my dad's Game Boy. It was not mine, it was his and he let me borrow it. He would also laugh whenever I died in Super Mario World. Blue Yoshi was my favorite cause he was always the easiest to fly. If you are still reading this I applaud you (in spirit). I apologize for my overuse of parenthesis. I have come to the opinion that many people on Xbox Live cannot read very well since the majority of them always call me GoogleKnocker.
So I decided to google my screen name to check out my results. I go to the second page and low and behold I find that.
Now first of all NO I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE (in case you guys were wondering). I was however curious as to just exactly what the hell. Then an idea dawned on me.
You see about a week ago I made a comment on an article entitled Molyneux talks pedophilia and Milo. Going further into my investigation I find that the date of this article and the date of the comment posted in the above google search match exactly. The link (which you may have noticed is purple which means I clicked on it WHICH I DID CAUSE INVESTIGATING) has a little thing called "related searches" showing articles from other sites with similar topics. From this... I can only deduce one thing: the site found that Molyneux article and from my comment my name became associated with it... and thus by association my name became associated with that... other site. Thus the internet now thinks I'm a pedophile because of Destructoid! (Peter Molyneux also shares some of the blame)
The comment in question.
You may have also seen this comment in this other blog entitled Comments of the Week(end?)... a fact that I'm well proud of mind you (I also stole that above screenshot from that blog... thanks Commentoid).
Now I want you to keep in mind I have only started commenting and being active in this community for a little over a week and a half. I was hesitant about commenting before cause I had never really been active in an online community. I mean... I had an OkCupid account I was trying out (I know it's embarrassing) and which I shall now henceforth disable. Actually... I only searched my screenname to see what someone on OkCupid might find... and I did not like what I found.... but anyway I'm getting sidetracked! Well after years of looking through this site I decided I should start a blog and start commenting because after all... what harm could come of it?
Well... now the internet thinks I'm a pedophile. BUT I WILL NOT LET THIS DETER ME. I will continue to be an active member of this community garsh darnit! I only hope... that if the day comes that somebody searches my screenname on google... they will come across this blog before finding that weird little kick-in-the-balls search result.
I will however henceforth stop using google. I never trusted them anyway... and earlier today I learned of their new net neutrality proposal with Verizon which does not sit well with me... no sir it does not! I suppose I'll just have to make due with https://ssl.scroogle.org. I hope they get a feakin' image search soon....
I got this from a Yahoo search... which is ok to use... for now....
I mean I'm already bitter over everyone on Xbox Live confusing my name for GoogleKnocker and this doesn't help. Don't worry though... I still love you Destructoid (but in a platonic way... you're just 4 years old afterall).