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I was born in the last millennium in the far off year of 1989... back before the invention of such things as the world wide web (seriously).

My home is on the side of a highway next to an animal laboratory. A pregnant lady once drove into my front yard in such a way as to send my father's car flying into a wall.

She was in a high-speed chase with the cops. I once got arrested for standing in a park, with the final charges coming to disorderly conduct, assault and battery on a police officer, and resisting arrest. Don't worry though I didn't do anything wrong... that cop was just being a real jerk.

I like video games. I really like the number 24. People in high school used to think I was always on drugs... yet I have never gotten high in my life (only on life!). I'm probably not as ugly or screwed up as you think I am. My friend thinks I am very bad luck. My grandma is adorable. My sister loves cats and wants to join the FBI and save the world (she hates bugs though). I've been to the murder capital of the world several times but don't feel much like going back cause it's kind of boring.

As a kid I used to play on my dad's Game Boy. It was not mine, it was his and he let me borrow it. He would also laugh whenever I died in Super Mario World. Blue Yoshi was my favorite cause he was always the easiest to fly. If you are still reading this I applaud you (in spirit). I apologize for my overuse of parenthesis. I have come to the opinion that many people on Xbox Live cannot read very well since the majority of them always call me GoogleKnocker.

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Well it seems like everyone around here is all depressed over the fact that they aren't at PAX playing Duke Nukem Forever and riding the Back to the Future car. So I decided I should throw a party in my blog to make us all feel better. LET'S PARTY!


Hey Bobby you playin' ya vidya games?


Eh... never mind....

Ya know Hank... vidya games are just a devise devised by the government to brainwash ya kids to be military fighting machines.


Gawdangit Bobby.

YeahmanIwuzonmoderwarfairlastnightandthenthischoppacameandwasall "PEW PEW PEW PEW" andthensomenoobtubeblwmyassupitwassorealisticyo.

Well 'scuse me Boomhauer but I must return back to my home planet of Propania.



Wait a minute that doesn't make sense I'm still here... wait... whats happening to me?


For the love of propane... kill me now....

Um... Hank?


Where can I find remix super fluffy semi-formal dresses from the 80's?

Well from semi-hard.com of coarse!We offer all the vest hoodies shoes and vests.Rad.Brochief. You cant find all the best semi-formal wear from the 80's you could want! Wnat Ugg boots but think they are not 80's enough? You've come to the right place here at dresstructoid.com. Just head over to semi-hard.com for luxury dressings.We've got mustard and relish. We can even accomodate those of you with giant bobble-heads. Livings the vida loca? Why not go screw yourself?Use our boots for a fun sensual evening at home.or even on the town who are we to judge!!!!!!!!!We know how you want it and you want it hard don't you bigboy? so get semi-hard today!


I refuse to explain to you who Shigeru Miyamoto is. Knowledge of this man is a REQUIREMENT for being on this website. Or at least this particular blog... *cough*

I had an urge to title this blog "The Death of the Miyamoto Approach" but felt that would be way too dramatic. I also couldn't forgive myself if someone misread the title as "The Death of Miyamoto". Oh god I don't even want to think about the day he dies... LET'S GET ON TOPIC.

Ok so after Nick's recent Lara Croft review I started down a line of thinking. You see this particular Lara Croft game come out without any online co-op. It will eventually be patched and I think that the reason they released it in such an incomplete manner was in order to be a "Summer of Arcade" title.

I was explaining why I hate this sort of attitude in the comments of that review when my mind ended up using this term it suddenly came up with: "The Miyamoto Approach". I used it to express what I believe is a far better attitude to game making. This idea is based off of this quote from Miyamoto that I can't find but which went something like

"Eventually no one will remember that a game was delayed... but they will remember how good it was."

This really stuck with me. Think about a game such as The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. Today it's considered by many as one of the greatest games of all time... but nobody really cares that it was delayed. Maybe at the time they did but by now it is something forgotten... a tease lost to time. But everyone remembers the quality of the game.

You may be thinking about how this relates to a game like Duke Nukem Forever. I don't think I need to remind you just how ridiculously delayed THAT game is. That is not in the same line of thinking as Miyamoto however. He knew the difference between putting out a product that truly needed more time and continuously building upon a game till the end of time. How do I know this?

Exhibit A:

My one and only exhibit.

You see at the time of Super Mario World's release Miyamoto was not pleased with the final product. I on the other hand believe this game to be the absolute best in 2D platforming. If you can play the game at the highest level... if you can play it in such a way as to take advantage of everything the game has to offer you can achieve amazing things which really elevate it above any previous Mario platformer. Yet Miyamoto was disappointed with it. Still, he released it cause he knew it was a good game. Perhaps he wanted to implement the type of art style shown in the game's sequal, Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island. Now instead of delaying the game in the same fashion that Duke Nukem Forever has been we were able to enjoy two amazing games. Each special in their own way. Miyamoto knew the correct balance to take with this approach.

This brings me back to my original premise... "the death" of the Miyamoto Approach. I don't feel comfortable calling it a death, but there is definitely less emphasis on this approach today and I feel that as time goes on it will get worse. We can see it in the constant patching of today's games. Imagine if Modern Warfare 2 came out at a time when there was no such thing as patching. Every single copy of it would contain the same exploits and bugs for everyone in the multiplayer community to use. The same exploits that were there at day 1 exist today. Imagine how frustrating that would be. I know that many older games also had glitches but not nearly at the amount seen today, and I do admit that part of that has to do with the ever increasing complexity of modern games. However there is a minimizing of what is to be expected when any problem can be patched.

Now we are seeing games like Lara Croft and The Guardian of Light being released with entire features left out. It is essentially a game that is incomplete. It may be a fine game regardless of the online co-op but it is incomplete nonetheless. As I thought about this I realized that game-makers today do not need to follow this Miyamoto Approach. At least... not as much.

You know I honestly won't care if it comes out with a few bugs Valve... honest.

Of course the developers will still want to put out a relatively good game that will come out to good reviews. However they can withhold things that will be promised later. Perhaps a few multiplayer maps or game modes will be missing. This seems to be the case with Red Dead Redemption and their first set of DLC. Originally the free DLC, Outlaws to the End, was meant to be in the final game but needed to be cut in order to be released in time. In this sense we can see that this new way of developing games isn't too bad after all.

My purpose is not to say that the diminishing of the Miyamoto Approach is necessarily a bad thing... although it can be in certain aspects. At the end of the day we can only hope for the developers [patch: make that "the people who are in charge of the creation of the game"] to make the right decisions and to know when to keep the right balance... kind of like Miyamoto did.
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This was the first result for "destructoid decoder ring" in my bing image search... sorry but you'll have to deal with it cause I sure as hell ain't going back to google.

Well apparently Occam's Electric Toothbrush is supposed to give out decoder rings when you come to Destructoid. I was not aware of this and am highly disappointed as I never received mine.

I only found this out due to this other blog and c3saraval0's comments. Well I decided to follow his helpful advice and here I am with this blog.


Do you not like me Occams? You were my first you know! You hold the distinction of giving me my first ever comment in my first ever blog... I thought we had something special! You said my article "resonated" with you... did that mean nothing?! I've been on this site for years Occams... and have only been active within the community for a little over 2 weeks. Well now it all feels like a sham!

Who knows what sort of cryptic messages I may have been missing out on... does the decoder ring make Jim Sterling's reviews in line with the metacritic? Does it make it so Kane & Lynch 2 doesn't hurt my eyes? Does it reveal what the hell your avatar is supposed to be? I DON'T KNOW!

I suppose this may have been my fault for not having a proper introductory blog... well I didn't know I was supposed to do that.... I'M SORRY... consider this my introductory blog. I don't want bad blood between us Occams... just give me my standard issue decoder ring and whatever other nonsense you have in mind. I don't even care what it is!

I just want to be a part of the community Occams... please.



So I decided to google my screen name to check out my results. I go to the second page and low and behold I find that.

Now first of all NO I AM NOT A PEDOPHILE (in case you guys were wondering). I was however curious as to just exactly what the hell. Then an idea dawned on me.

You see about a week ago I made a comment on an article entitled Molyneux talks pedophilia and Milo. Going further into my investigation I find that the date of this article and the date of the comment posted in the above google search match exactly. The link (which you may have noticed is purple which means I clicked on it WHICH I DID CAUSE INVESTIGATING) has a little thing called "related searches" showing articles from other sites with similar topics. From this... I can only deduce one thing: the site found that Molyneux article and from my comment my name became associated with it... and thus by association my name became associated with that... other site. Thus the internet now thinks I'm a pedophile because of Destructoid! (Peter Molyneux also shares some of the blame)

The comment in question.

You may have also seen this comment in this other blog entitled Comments of the Week(end?)... a fact that I'm well proud of mind you (I also stole that above screenshot from that blog... thanks Commentoid).

Now I want you to keep in mind I have only started commenting and being active in this community for a little over a week and a half. I was hesitant about commenting before cause I had never really been active in an online community. I mean... I had an OkCupid account I was trying out (I know it's embarrassing) and which I shall now henceforth disable. Actually... I only searched my screenname to see what someone on OkCupid might find... and I did not like what I found.... but anyway I'm getting sidetracked! Well after years of looking through this site I decided I should start a blog and start commenting because after all... what harm could come of it?

Well... now the internet thinks I'm a pedophile. BUT I WILL NOT LET THIS DETER ME. I will continue to be an active member of this community garsh darnit! I only hope... that if the day comes that somebody searches my screenname on google... they will come across this blog before finding that weird little kick-in-the-balls search result.

I will however henceforth stop using google. I never trusted them anyway... and earlier today I learned of their new net neutrality proposal with Verizon which does not sit well with me... no sir it does not! I suppose I'll just have to make due with https://ssl.scroogle.org. I hope they get a feakin' image search soon....

I got this from a Yahoo search... which is ok to use... for now....

I mean I'm already bitter over everyone on Xbox Live confusing my name for GoogleKnocker and this doesn't help. Don't worry though... I still love you Destructoid (but in a platonic way... you're just 4 years old afterall).
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