That's right. The making of my double down.

I had joined the Destructoid forums a while back in September, but I have never been active until recently. I had seen the mighty double down thread and what crazy ass monstrosities people were cramming down their throat hole to get badges.

Now I'm no achievement whore, but I wanted this badge. I wanted to earn. I had seen people get away with putting two pieces of chocolate around another piece of chocolate and people make over glorified sandwiches. I wanted to do something bold. I wanted people to look at what I ate and think "Oh my God.".

So I started brainstorming of what I could do, and with the help of Herosplaydumb, I would create what is now the triple pound, burger town, golden brown, double down.

Now the biggest thing I was worried about was making this possible. I had doubts that I could fit two McChickens and a medium fry in between a double quarter pounder with cheese. I started with this:

A medium Diet Coke for a touch of irony.


I started building my masterpiece and I came up with a solution with the french fry problem. I would use ketchup as a kind of mortar.

Kinda like building a house...in which you intend to eat.


The two McChickens were fairly easy to deal with. I got rid of both bottom buns that way the size of the tower of meat would be much smaller and easier to control when stuffing it into my face.

Things are looking grim for my stomach.


TA-DAH!

My God

The first bite was more difficult than I thought. It wasn't possible for me to cram the entire thing in my face, so I ended up just biting into about half of it.

Eat your heart out Kirby.

It was generally pretty tasty, I'm not gonna lie.

Om nom

I even did a dance.

No comment.

Things were going pretty well. Made a pretty big dent and everything.

I can hear myself getting fatter.

About half way in it really hits me. My stomach was crying because it was drowning in grease. Chewing started to become hard and my body did not want to continue.

Ugh..

I made it down to my last bite. When it comes to food, I always finish what I start (unless it has broccoli). Every fiber in my body said "No", but I ignored the urgent messages.

Almost there.

I cannonball'd it. Meaning I just tried to down it fast as possible. Needless to say, my mouth is not that big.

Melehlelb Meeehh

Alas, I finished it. Probably the most shameful thing I've ever eaten. Was it worth it?

Yes.

The aftermath? None surprisingly. I felt fine.
Honest.





So much fatassery.