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Gobun avatar 10:35 PM on 07.31.2012
Review: Rock, Paper, Scissors



[Editors Note: I have a drinking problem]

Who gets the last slice of cake?
Who will ride shotgun on the way home?
Who gets to be player 1?
When calling dibs fails, theres only one way to settle a conflict:
Rock. Paper. Scissors.


Rock, Paper, Scissors (Hands)
Developer: People
Publisher: Japan
Released: TBA
MSRP: Free-To-Play

Developed by really old Chinese men (probably over a dispute on who has to make rice for dinner), it became an instant hit in its Alpha. It spread through out the Orient becoming the game of choice for poor Japanese fishermen who they then taught Roman sailors how form their hand into the various weapons in which to play the game. Probably, I only skimmed the wiki.

Early concept art

The main object is to transform your hand into shape at the same time your opponent does and hope you win. People tend to pick items that are akin to their personality (Ex: rock means you're a very strong individual). Theres some strategy involved, but only asspies really look for algorithms and all that witchcraft.

Here is a quote from the Roman instruction manual to get you on your way to play this simple game:

'In this game the closed fist represents a stone, the open hand with fingers outstretched paper, and the closed fist with two fingers outstretched scissors...The players stand facing one another, and commence playing simultaneously by raising and lowering the right arm three times rapidly, coming to rest with the fist in any of the three above-mentioned positions. If you keep your fist closed and your opponent flings open his hand then you lose, as paper wraps up stones, and so on.' - A hairy man

Note: You cannot play this game if you don't have hands

The game is traditionally played best two outta three, but it can go on to three outta five if your opponent wants to be a bitch about it cause hes a fuckin loser. Penalties for extending the rounds include:
-Owing you a soda
-Being jinxed for an hour
-Doing your dishes
-Anal

This game gets some docked some points for not having any story mode since its only a multiplayer game. Normally, its only two people that duel but you can have any number of people play at once using the mod "Process of elimination" meaning if you lose, you have to go sit your ass in the corner and watch the blood shed. Matches last anywhere from 10 seconds to a whole minute. Custom games can include weapons such as "Volcano" and "Pistol" and the unpopular "Church Steeple" for more refreshing gameplay.

Bros in heated battle

Although its rated E for everyone, it should taken into consideration for an M rating for the repercussions. Sometimes the loser will call you an asshole and sock you in the arm. Other times winners have a tendency of humping the opponent head as a form of dominance. It is advised to have a third party to referee the matches taking place.

Overall, this is a game everyone who has hands should play. It's an instant classic.

8/10


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