Como esta bitches? Yeah it's been a while and I kinda wanna get back into this whole blogging thing which I'm not really good at. Dixon said "Gobungasms" as apposed to "Gobunisms" and it struck a nerve so deep, that it made me fire this wordhole up again.
Anyway, as ya'll know; I hate everything. In the words of one of my good friends: "Gobun can never be happy, he can only be less angry". Wise mother fucker.
But sometimes, I hate things a lot less.
So I'm gonna utilize my third grade writing skillz to tell you about, ya know, shit that I THINK
is pretty cool and stuff thats not so cool.
Welcome. Hugs. Butt hugs.
No time to waste:
Dopest thing at E3 so far that I've seen:
Motherfucking Dogs that Watch.
Did you see this shit? No? Are you stupid? Nod your head up and down because you done fucked up big time. This game. This game. This game. Let me pull out a fucking graph:
Look at the fuckin graph. Now look back down here. Thanks. Okay so yeah that fucking trailer blew my fucking mind. Thank you Ubisoft, thank you for not fucking up for once. I mean like, did you see that shit man? Like when he pulled his phone out and sapped everyones cellular devices, bitch with the hair screamed out "WAH HAPPEN TO MAH PHONE". Think about how many relationships you can ruin with that. What about that club thing? Mother fucker had a cube head and wanted to get you drunk. He was like "Would you like a drink?" and your guy was like "Nah" and cube head was like "Aight". There were like tight fuckin bleep bloops playin around while you scanned peoples profiles AND THERE LEGIT WAS A BLACK GUY WITH AIDS. EXCUSE ME. DONT WANT YOUR AIDS BRO. Then you whipped out a sick fuckin baton and beat some fucker up. Batons are SO indie right now in the underground weapon science. None of you people even know.
Then there was gunplay and I fell asleep.
But still, concept seems megadope. Maybe even ultradope. I'm very excited about this IP and I can't wait to see more of it.
You rike bleep bloops
Oh you don't like bleep bloops? The fuck out my face.
Jay kay ecks dee face.
Oh wait you do? Why aren't you listening to this shit? Are you stupid?
Allow me to elaborate with these words:
8-bit. Chiptune. House. Dubstep.
I DONT EVEN LIKE DUBSTEP. THIS IS AMAZING THOUGH.
Actually its more like post dubstep, theres maybe one drop on the entire album which is okay by me.
Regardless, this album gets the nerdy booties twerkin and fist pumpin werkin. You can jam to this thing all night long, its dope. I highly suggest it, especially if you're into dope bleep bloops.
I ain't linking it here, google that shit bitch.
Last thing on the list of things that are cool this week:
Wine. Nothing specific
You like alcohol right? You got to if you're involved with this industry. Wait, you dont like wine? Jesus, are you stupid?
I'm not laughing.
Anyway, as may you have seen my disgusting drunk tweets on twitter, I'm training to be a wine sommelier
. Basically, I go around tasting wine for living and telling people what to buy in their store or restaurant or hotel AKA I'm a fancy drunk. I test wines every other night because I don't wanna go full blown alchy.
So this old grape juice, pretty legit. You should try some wine, like go to your store, speak to the wine buyer and tell him things you like to drink. You cant say anything wrong. Really, you can't. S'all about your pallet and if you know what you like and if the buyer is halfway decent, he'll pick something for you you'll love.
Why? BECAUSE WE'RE FUCKING WIZARDS
Also, cant get fat off wine.
Thats it, Gobun out.