I'm a gamer of all sorts (except sport & racing games).
I'm Scotch-Korean with a hint of Native American.
I got the nickname Gobun from playing Monster Hunter Freedom. I decided I was mainly going to be playing with the Bowgun. In my infinite cleverness, I switched the "B" and the "G" around and threw out the "W" in the word bowgun and BAM.
This is me.
I'm drunk as fuck in this picture and so is Starkey. Whatevs, I still look good.
Favorite Games 1. Donkey Kong Country 2
2. Dead Rising
3. Mother 3
4. Resident Evil (Gamecube)
5. Metal Gear Solid
6. No More Heroes
8. Super Smash Bros Brawl
9. Demon's Souls
10. Chrono Trigger
Games That Make Me Disapoint. The Sabotuer.
My Art Gallery
By the amazing Manic Maverick
By the talented Zombieplatypus
By the incredible Max Powers
Changston Dreams of the Sexiest Rivals by Zombieplatypus
Who gets the last slice of cake?
Who will ride shotgun on the way home?
Who gets to be player 1?
When calling dibs fails, theres only one way to settle a conflict:
Rock. Paper. Scissors.
Rock, Paper, Scissors (Hands) Developer: People Publisher: Japan Released: TBA MSRP: Free-To-Play
Developed by really old Chinese men (probably over a dispute on who has to make rice for dinner), it became an instant hit in its Alpha. It spread through out the Orient becoming the game of choice for poor Japanese fishermen who they then taught Roman sailors how form their hand into the various weapons in which to play the game. Probably, I only skimmed the wiki.
Early concept art
The main object is to transform your hand into shape at the same time your opponent does and hope you win. People tend to pick items that are akin to their personality (Ex: rock means you're a very strong individual). Theres some strategy involved, but only asspies really look for algorithms and all that witchcraft.
Here is a quote from the Roman instruction manual to get you on your way to play this simple game:
'In this game the closed fist represents a stone, the open hand with fingers outstretched paper, and the closed fist with two fingers outstretched scissors...The players stand facing one another, and commence playing simultaneously by raising and lowering the right arm three times rapidly, coming to rest with the fist in any of the three above-mentioned positions. If you keep your fist closed and your opponent flings open his hand then you lose, as paper wraps up stones, and so on.' - A hairy man
Note: You cannot play this game if you don't have hands
The game is traditionally played best two outta three, but it can go on to three outta five if your opponent wants to be a bitch about it cause hes a fuckin loser. Penalties for extending the rounds include:
-Owing you a soda
-Being jinxed for an hour
-Doing your dishes
This game gets some docked some points for not having any story mode since its only a multiplayer game. Normally, its only two people that duel but you can have any number of people play at once using the mod "Process of elimination" meaning if you lose, you have to go sit your ass in the corner and watch the blood shed. Matches last anywhere from 10 seconds to a whole minute. Custom games can include weapons such as "Volcano" and "Pistol" and the unpopular "Church Steeple" for more refreshing gameplay.
Bros in heated battle
Although its rated E for everyone, it should taken into consideration for an M rating for the repercussions. Sometimes the loser will call you an asshole and sock you in the arm. Other times winners have a tendency of humping the opponent head as a form of dominance. It is advised to have a third party to referee the matches taking place.
Overall, this is a game everyone who has hands should play. It's an instant classic.
Como esta bitches? Yeah it's been a while and I kinda wanna get back into this whole blogging thing which I'm not really good at. Dixon said "Gobungasms" as apposed to "Gobunisms" and it struck a nerve so deep, that it made me fire this wordhole up again.
Anyway, as ya'll know; I hate everything. In the words of one of my good friends: "Gobun can never be happy, he can only be less angry". Wise mother fucker.
But sometimes, I hate things a lot less.
So I'm gonna utilize my third grade writing skillz to tell you about, ya know, shit that I THINK is pretty cool and stuff thats not so cool.
Welcome. Hugs. Butt hugs.
No time to waste:
Dopest thing at E3 so far that I've seen:
Motherfucking Dogs that Watch. Did you see this shit? No? Are you stupid? Nod your head up and down because you done fucked up big time. This game. This game. This game. Let me pull out a fucking graph:
Look at the fuckin graph. Now look back down here. Thanks. Okay so yeah that fucking trailer blew my fucking mind. Thank you Ubisoft, thank you for not fucking up for once. I mean like, did you see that shit man? Like when he pulled his phone out and sapped everyones cellular devices, bitch with the hair screamed out "WAH HAPPEN TO MAH PHONE". Think about how many relationships you can ruin with that. What about that club thing? Mother fucker had a cube head and wanted to get you drunk. He was like "Would you like a drink?" and your guy was like "Nah" and cube head was like "Aight". There were like tight fuckin bleep bloops playin around while you scanned peoples profiles AND THERE LEGIT WAS A BLACK GUY WITH AIDS. EXCUSE ME. DONT WANT YOUR AIDS BRO. Then you whipped out a sick fuckin baton and beat some fucker up. Batons are SO indie right now in the underground weapon science. None of you people even know.
Then there was gunplay and I fell asleep.
But still, concept seems megadope. Maybe even ultradope. I'm very excited about this IP and I can't wait to see more of it.
You rike bleep bloops
Oh you don't like bleep bloops? The fuck out my face.
Jay kay ecks dee face.
Oh wait you do? Why aren't you listening to this shit? Are you stupid?
Allow me to elaborate with these words:
8-bit. Chiptune. House. Dubstep.
I DONT EVEN LIKE DUBSTEP. THIS IS AMAZING THOUGH.
Actually its more like post dubstep, theres maybe one drop on the entire album which is okay by me.
Regardless, this album gets the nerdy booties twerkin and fist pumpin werkin. You can jam to this thing all night long, its dope. I highly suggest it, especially if you're into dope bleep bloops.
I ain't linking it here, google that shit bitch.
Last thing on the list of things that are cool this week:
Wine. Nothing specific
You like alcohol right? You got to if you're involved with this industry. Wait, you dont like wine? Jesus, are you stupid?
I'm not laughing.
Anyway, as may you have seen my disgusting drunk tweets on twitter, I'm training to be a wine sommelier. Basically, I go around tasting wine for living and telling people what to buy in their store or restaurant or hotel AKA I'm a fancy drunk. I test wines every other night because I don't wanna go full blown alchy.
So this old grape juice, pretty legit. You should try some wine, like go to your store, speak to the wine buyer and tell him things you like to drink. You cant say anything wrong. Really, you can't. S'all about your pallet and if you know what you like and if the buyer is halfway decent, he'll pick something for you you'll love.
Blah blah blah, it's me, Gobun. Lets be honest, I'm jumping on this bandwagon because I love myself some attention and it seems to be my only form of nourishment these days.
Bonus: I lost 30 weights since the picture on the right column. Beastmodo
10. I'm 6'1. 6'2 on a good day. Above average height master race reporting in. Feels good man. I've met some of you people and ya'lls be small. Or freakishly lanky *COUGH MAX COUGH*
9. I'm slowly destroying myself for the greater good with cigarettes. Progressing very well so far. Best part is, I'm enjoying it. Mmmmm mmmmmm.
8. I've had this leather cap since I was about 17. Which means this hat will have been around for almost 5 years. I love this fucking hat.
7. I'm an attention whore. Lets not kid ourselves. I dunno what it is. I'd say issues, but more like volumes.
6. If you look up the word "Vanity" in the dictionary, you can see a picture of me doing a duck face. If you counted how much time I spend looking at myself in the mirror everyday you'd get about 20 minutes. Easily.
5. I rarely play video games anymore. These past couple months, it feels like all of my technology is breaking around my. This computer I'm typing to you on is on its last legs as it is. No more consoles except my fucking Wii and 3DS. Overall though, I'm pretty bored with all its got to offer me lately. Everything is starting to feel really samey, and just kind boring to me. It doesn't help that shit like "On disc DLC" exists either. Haven't bought a capcom game since, what? MvC3. Fuck that noise dude. Sure it might be a fucking business. But I like to think of it like this: "Would you pay an extra 5 dollars for a movie ticket (That already costs 13 dollars in my area) to see the first 15 minutes of the movie you already payed admission to?". Fuck that, I got other shit to do like...
4. Listening to a fuck ton of music. It's been a long way since I've been that guy that only listens to hits. Or single tracks. I have about 30 days of continuous play of music, and thats not me bragging. Thats me saying I'm still way off from what I would like to say is a "decent" collection of music. Here are some opinions as well as other shit:
>"The Avalanches - Since I Left You" continues to be my favorite album of all time. Feel bad saying it, but found them through the YTMND soundtrack back when I stomped around there when they were still good.
>"Nullsleep - Supernova Kiss" is the most emotional chiptune album you'll ever hear
>Can't get into "The Mars Volta". I'm sorry as fuck.
>"Sleigh Bells - Reign of Terror" was pretty solid album. Had some weak songs though.
>I like modern ragtime/freakfolk/hobocore/folkpunk/fuckidunnoman
>Took me about a year and a half to get into the Animal Collective as well as Neutral Milk Hotel. But I finally understand those feels.
>I would totally bang Kreayshawn's Mom. She used to be in garage/surf punk bands. Look her up
Which brings me to:
3.I love me some cute chubby girls No not morbidly obese. Good lord get that image out of your head. I dunno bro, I'm just like way more physically attracted to thicker women. Most skinny women don't do anything for me. Most of em are also the most boring people I've ever met. Jesus. I'm just like, what do you do other than party? Nothing? Okay. Great.
2. Lately, I've been called hipster a lot. Thas kewl I guess. Although I consider myself more indie (hurr) But for realizies, what the fuck does it even mean to be a hipster anymore? It's funny because I see the word "hipster" as just another buzzword to describe something as "different or something I don't fucking understand". Das cool though, go ahead.
1. Around this time 3 years ago, I posted a picture of myself completely nude on the forums. Only thing in the picture that was covering my junk was a Game Boy Micro which was made possible by a brilliant tuck job done by yours truly. Why did I do it? For pewps and teehees and because I had to beat someone at their own game. Too bad I lost the picture forever.
Thats it. The most I've fucking written in a long time.
EDIT: LIGHTNING ROUND
0. I love talking to people, actually. As much as I love to say I hate almost everything, talking and being around people is something:
A. I'm really good at (So I think)
B. Something I like doing
Especially meeting other Destructoid members. All of you are way more interesting than myself.
Christmas came late this year since I was involved in like Forums Secret Santa n shit and I admit that I've been acting like a huge baby bitch because I haven't received my God damn gift yet.
But I got it.
Sheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeit whats this business?
So I totes opened this magic bag up expecting it to be like three hundred Mickey Mouse dolls because the person that got me was the one and only SAXY GATORZ whom we all know loves, eats, sleeps, dreams, creeps, peeps, weeps, smells, tastes, feels, stalks, wears, works at, and is Disney. I'm not insulting either, mother fucker loves Disney. And hes normal. I've met some seriously weird fucking Disney people. There used to be this dude I worked with back when I was like a web manager n shit and we shared an office space with him. Every day, this guy would come up to me with a DIFFERENT Disney pin that he would harness onto his like, little sweater vest thing and he would come up and give me a God damn history lesson on what was on it. One time he regaled me about the first time he saw Steam Boat Mickey and fucking cried a little. It was weird.
Alright anyway, so I cracked that bag open and what was it?
A mother fucking ant farm
I see this thing. My lid flips.
I harken back to a time when I was only knee high and didn't kick any asses. My only friends were the ants and I was too derpy to order the real ants, so I ended up spooning various ants from my neighborhood into my ant farm. This didn't end well because I didn't know that ants from different like nests would fight so I imagined my ant farm looking like Oz or a very tiny gang tussle. Like some ant accidently steps on another ants shoes and it starts some shit. Bullets are flying and mandibles are uhh I guess being gnashed or something. Regardless all them ants died and I was sad.
So what the fuck is this 21 year old gonna with an ant farm?
I'll fucking tell you:
-Raise ants to believe I am their God and Master
-Teach them how to march
-Maybe start a fucking ant circus starring only ant strongmen.
-Get really fat because I'll never half to walk again, I'll just give people the illusion that I'm like floating around, but its really because I got like a fucking million ants carring me around under my shoes
-Teach ants to assemble and form the body of a human male. Like an ant golem
-Teach them how to steal like cheeseburgers or something
Fuck man, who would fuck with a guy who is like an Ant Wizard or an Antcromancer? No one, thats who. I'd be like The Pain from MGS3 but with ants. STRENGTH IN NUMBERS BABY. Who says ants cant fuck shit up? Everyones gotta sleep. All I gotta do is whisper to my lil ant bros to go #occupy someone's lungs and you'll wake up and be like "WELP GOT ANTS IN MY LUNGS CANT GO TO WORK". And thats it, your life is OVER.
Thats it. I gotta go be busy being God or something.