Hello all, GoatRoyale here with some recent retro finds; however, first I need to do a little housekeeping.

Although I've been a daily (hourly?) reader of Dtoid for quite a while now, I haven't really been a community member for all that long, much less an active community member. That said, I intend for this to be the start of a semi-regular series of posts regarding all things retro in my life -- gaming and otherwise. I can't promise that other topics won't pop up, but by and large I'd like to have a cohesive series with at least a basic structure or format, both for ease of use and so I don't procrastinate about putting my thoughts on (digital) paper. I actively welcome all thoughts / comments / rants, but make no guarantee as to the relative entertainment value of the content of these posts. You've been warned.

Better Late Than Never: The Atari 2600 Find

As you may or may not be aware, I live on the Texas gulf coast in a little suburban community located roughly halfway between downtown Houston and Galveston Island. As I hope you already know, we recently had a nasty little hurricane come our way that thoroughly screwed over a sizable percentage of the Gulf Coast residents. Fortunately for my family and I, the effects of the hurricane on my community were nothing more than a giant pain in the ass, with a 9 day power outage and a crap-ton of tree damage being the only noteworthy impacts on our day-to-day lives; others, sadly, suffered a number of heartbreaking material and immaterial losses. With that in mind, I present to you a retro find that is the direct result of Gulf Coast hurricane preparations.

When my family found out that a hurricane was headed our way one of the first things they did was enlist my services as a strapping (HA!) young man to go help prep the family's beach house that resides on the west end of Galveston Island. Among the serious storm preparations, I had my own little private agenda: locate and secure the family's old Atari 2600 and its collection of games, which had been residing at the increasingly little used family beach house for over a decade. In retrospect it seems rather crass and trivial, but at the time we had no idea how serious and dangerous the hurricane was going to be, so wasting 20 minutes to dig up some old videogames didn't sound like too bad of an idea.

Anyhow, dig up the old Atari I did, and a handful of retro games I did find. Now, being all of 24 years old, I can't even to begin to pretend that I remember the 2600 in its prime, but the good old Atari was in fact the first console I ever played as a child, and I do vaguely remember playing a number of the games at various points in my life. What follows is a little video recap that I shot, believe it or not, the day before the shit hit the fan and we up and evacuated for the storm. Watch for a cameo by the retro-phone at the halfway point.



Shaky, incoherent video is shaky and incoherent

As mentioned in the video, I do not have any controllers or hookups for the 2600 at the moment, so I unfortunately can't really offer much insight other than what's in the video. I DID do a little bit of research on Lock 'N' Chase, and it turns out that I actually do remember playing the game, as I remember noticing how similar it was to Pac-Man. That said, I still don't know what is up with the cartridge shape, so if anybody knows what the deal is, then please let me know. Also, I have yet to scan in those little catalogs, but I'm sure I'll get around to it at some point. For now, though, I have more important stuff to work on... like the tale of a new game store that actually carries a decent amount of retro games!

Coming next week: the story of my first excursion to GamesPlus -- a small games store, located 15 minutes away from work, that carries a bevy of used games, movies, and cds. I know it's kind of a long shot, seeing as how the guy who works there said they only have 3 locations (all within the state of Texas), but if you live anywhere near League City / Texas City area, you owe it to yourself to check the place out. It's nothing fancy, but in an area that's filled with your dime a dozen big chain game retailers, it's a breath of fresh air.

Anyhow, look for that post sometime early next week. I'll try to get some decent gameplay videos of my acquisitions (no promises), though I'm not yet ready to announce what the games are... just think RetroForce # 61 :) . For now, I'm going to waste my day off by playing Art Style Orbient and Mega Man 9 when I really should be using the free time to clean the house or at least get some laundry done.

I leave you with this random, completely unrelated video that is full of blasphemy and fail


Oh, so I couldn't have Count Chocula as a child, but somehow, SOMEHOW, these were deemed suitable for my consumption? Gee, thanks Mom!

I haven't been able to find ANY information about this online, and we certainly don't have a SKU for it at work, but when I was at Target today I noticed what appeared to be an actual retail release of a download code for Geometry Wars: Retro Evolved. Though I didn't think to take a picture of it at the time, what I saw looked pretty much identical to the normal Xbox Live Marketplace points card packaging, except it was plastered with Geometry Wars art and was selling for $4.99. Has anyone else seen these cards in stores?

Personally, I think the idea of selling download codes for individual games is kind of redundant, as Microsoft already offers no less than three methods to obtain a game like Geometry Wars (points via Xbox Live, points via MS point cards, and Xbox Live Arcade: Unplugged), but what do I know? I also would have thought that everyone who could have possibly wanted Geometry Wars would have already purchased a copy, what with the game being almost three years old and one of the most downloaded games on the entire Xbox Live Marketplace, but I guess Microsoft hopes to entice all five people who wanted the game, but were too brain dead / lazy to actually navigate through the marketplace to find their precious shape shooter themselves. But I digress.

Do we really need download cards for Xbox Live Arcade games?

Ok, so I'm new to this whole C-Blog thing, so go gentle on me whilst I figure this stuff out. I mean, do I treat it like a regular blog and fill it with any and all of my random thoughts? Is it a place solely for game related news and opinions? Will it stop the damn cat from urinating on any random article of clothing that doesn't make it into the hamper after a late night session of Good Eats and Coast to Coast AM? I'm guessing it's a little of column A and a little of column B, but I'm really hoping it's more of column C than anything else.

Anyhow, for my first foray into the wild and wooly world of Destructoid Community Blogging, I believe I shall attempt to tackle my recent Valentine's Day purchases. Being anything but the typical married couple, my wife and I decided that this year, in lieu of all that flowers and candy bullshit that tends to pop up every 14th of February, we'd play things low key. Of course, when you and your wife are 23 and 24, respectively, and live in an efficiency apartment above your parents garage while one is searching for a full time teaching position and the other (me) is busy finishing grad. school and working part time at a crappy game store, playing things "low key" is also a nice way of saying "we're poor" without having to actually come out and say it to eachother. (whew, unnecessarily long-winded sentence is unnecessarily long-winded). So, with us playing things "low key", my wife decided that this year, all she wanted for Valentine's Day was a card, a dinner someplace relatively inexpensive (free Friday's gift card FTW!), and a copy of Professor Layton and the Curious Village for the DS. Myself? Well, I didn't really want anything for Valentine's Day (... well, other than, you know, ** wink wink / nudge nudge ** ), but being the shameless consumer whore that I am, I decided to pick up a little something for myself whilst I was picking up her copy of Prof. Layton ...



Yeah, I bought myself an impromptu Valentine's Day gift, so what? Plus, with my oh-so-gracious employee discount I was able to snag BOTH Professor Layton and Twisted Metal: Head-On (Apply Directly To Forehead): Extra Twisted Edition for just under $50. That's right, a whole FIVE DOLLARS below the total MSRP! Sure, I vowed that I would finish paying off my Ninja Gaiden DS pre-order before purchasing anything new (hey, I want that damn katana stylus, and I refuse to follow suit and just steal the pre-order swag) and I still have No More Heroes, Mario Galaxy, AND the majority of the Orange Box to finish, but what can I say? Nostalgia's a hell of a drug.

With that said, my impressions of TM:HO:ETE pretty much hinge on just that: nostalgia. Yes, Head-On is a competent car combat game, but if it wasn't, more or less, a love letter to a somewhat starved Twisted Metal fanbase, then it definitely wouldn't be seeing my $20 anytime soon. At its best, Head-On brings back all those fond memories of nights spent staying up late playing Twisted Metal 2, as my friends and I drank Mountain Dew by the gallon and searched tirelessly for free internet pr0n over a 28.8 connection. At its worst, Head-On reminds me of just how stale and tapped-out the car combat genre has become, and makes me hope that Jaffe and co. have something stellar up their sleeve for the PS3 Twisted Metal (even though it doesn't really matter, because I don't own a PS3).

It's not that Head-On is bad, it's just that I can't see myself playing it for more than a few weeks before packing it up and putting it away with the rest of our PS2 stuff. If I had a PSP and had access to online multiplayer, then I'm sure the game would see at least semi-regular use, but even though I completely understand why online was taken out of the game, I'm afraid that 2-player split-screen just won't cut it for me these days. Sadly, when you combine the underwhelming multiplayer with the solid, but aging, single player experience, you're pretty much left with a game that has a fairly short shelf-life for all but the most hardcore of Twisted Metal fans. Does that mean I feel TM:HO was a bad purchase? Oddly enough, no.

Despite the fact that you're essentially buying a spruced-up version of a game that's seven years old (the best way I feel I can describe the main feature of TMHO is that its Twisted Metal: Black done in the Twisted Metal 2 style), you get a rather nice package for $19.99. All in all, you get: Twisted Metal: Head On (with a slight graphical bump and running at 60fps) featuring an exclusive PS2 level, Twisted Metal: Lost (containing 4 levels from the ill fated TM:Black 2), a 2-disc "Twisted Metal Symphony" soundtrack (well, a download code, but whatever) spanning TM 1 & 2, TM:B, and TM:HO; Twisted Metal: The Dark History mini-doc, Sweet Tour (abandoned free-roam section from TM: B 2), The "Lost" Endings for Twisted Metal 1, and a pithy little artbook. Now obviously none of that will mean a damn thing to you if you DON'T have the aforementioned nostalgia factor kicked into high gear, but if you're one of those people who remember the days when car combat was an exciting and new "next gen" genre, then you'll probably want to at least give this baby a rental, and here's why:

1) As I JUST frickin' told you, it's like Incognito / Eat, Sleep, Play took Twisted Metal: Black and slapped the Twisted Metal 2 art style on it. Kind of rehashed? Sure, but it's still a lot of fun while it lasts.

2) There's a remake of the Paris level from Twisted Metal 2. I know this technically falls under the the "TM: BLACK painted with TM:2" point I mentioned above, but fuck, there's a remake of the Paris level from Twisted Metal 2!

3) The Twisted Metal: Lost levels are actually pretty fun and look rather complete (save for some areas that are obviously walled off due to its original 'open world' type of design).

4) Unlockables. Between TM:HO and TM:Lost, there are 9 cars and 2 levels to unlock. They're not all incredibly exciting, but you can't say you aren't reward for going through the extra effort of completing the minigames or beating the games on certain difficulties / with different characters.

And because I'm a total whore when it comes to annoying list, here's a quick rundown of some of the cons:

1) You know that "TM: Black w/ TM 2 art" thing? Yeah, for better AND for worse, head-on doesn't really do anything new with the formula.

2) The whole Twisted Metal: Harbor City / Twisted Metal: Black 2 cancellation story they tacked on to the game. The game states that the TM:B sequel was never completed because 6 of the key developers tragically died in a plane crash... and then the "supposed" deceased developers sent a note to Sony pleading with them to release their "last earthly product"... and said note is a special unlockable. Soooo, either A) Things happened just as the game says (wtf?), B)It's ALL a publicity stunt (incredibly lame / stupid), or C) 6 people died in a horrible plane crash and Jaffe & Co. made up the bullshit "note" crap as a marketing stunt (boooo).

3) There is now an INCREDIBLY annoying voice that informs you that your health is low, and its accompanied by a constant beeping sound. Yes, a sound cue is kind of nice, but do I need to be verbally reminded every 15 seconds that I'm running low on health? In a game where health pickups are only in select locations, and you have to drive (sometimes) lengthy distances just to get the pickup, having to hear "Health Low....Your Health is Low" over and over again is REALLY grating.

4) TIE: Sweet Tour and Sweet Tower. A) Sweet Tour is the name of the on-foot mode that has you go around an empty level as Sweet Tooth, collecting 30 little factoids about the series. The factoids are rather interesting, the running on-foot though? Well, let's just hope that's not the big plan for Twisted Metal PS3. B) Sweet Tower (spoiler...like anyone cares about Twisted Metal spoilers, ha!) is the name of the final boss in Head-On. I know TM is over the top, but Sweet Tower is just too much... seriously... a gaint tower on tank treads, with a sweet tooth head? Methinks someone needs to think of a new boss system, because this is getting downright stupid.

Ultimately, Twisted Metal: Head On: Extra Twisted Edition could just as well be titled Twisted Metal: The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly; because, for better or for worse, you get a crapton of Twisted Metal material: the sweet car combat you forgot you loved, the stark realization that there are a finite number of things you can do with the very concept of that same "sweet car combat you forgot you loved", and all the weird shit you never really wanted to know existed (live-action TM1 endings, an on-foot Twisted Metal free roam).

...

So, I guess that about wraps up my first stab at this 'community blog' thing. To quote some doods somebody once knew: "am i doin it rite?" Yeah, I know I just spent a lot of time writing a really long-winded post with some very basic impressions, and that somehow, through all that mess, I essentially said nothing that couldn't be summed up in approximately one sentence, but you know, besides that... it was okay, right? I mean, coming from a guy who hasn't written a "blog" post that DIDN'T consist entirely of crap like, "fuck, I'm tired...boy, Mega Man sure had some kick ass boss fights" in approximately 2 years, it's not all THAT bad, right?

...

RIGHT?

....

...fuck, I'm tired ... boy, Mega Man sure had some kick ass boss fights....