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I'm a bear who would steal your grandmothers teeth just to have a Knights of the Old Republic 3 game made.

Follow me on Twitter if you please

check out my Cblog Interview

I do videos on mine and Panza's Scary Granules Youtube

Some blogs I've posted that I'm proud of:

Things you can say to ensure you look like a dick

It's ok not to play Depression Games

Dtoid Memories: How Dtoid helped a depressed bear

Death of the Arcade


We shouldn't be unable to include the disabled

Scary Granules Podcast
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Xbox LIVE:stablezanerstar
Steam ID:zanerstar
Raptr ID:http://raptr.com/Glowbear/wall
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6:27 AM on 09.21.2014

I thought it would be a good idea to start a series of readings based on terrible gaming fanfiction. The first bundle are depraved sexual nopeness and then we start getting it the flat out stupid, in terms of 'plot' and use of the English language. More will come, I intend to update frequently on our channel

Mama always told me "if you can't find a bear to marry and have to be a filthy inter-racialist, then at least get someone with a good set of eyebrows". I'm still searching Mama...so stop texting about it.

People often assume that to beat a game you need skills, you need lots of ammo and lots of tactics. But no, what you really need is a warm brow. Trust me, the following video game characters got where they are today because of
Chins! I mean...Eyebrows!

Here we go with the Top Foreheard Fluff Patches in Video games


I was this close to just having him on the list and leaving it. Look at that weave-manship. Look at the vibrancy and the flow. Those are some majestic eye brows Bowser, I'm frankly now confused as to why Princess Peach never fell for you.


Tails has a rare condition found in video game land, knowns as "dem brows won't quit". What started off as a normal set of eye brows, has rapidly expanded since Tails hit puberty and covered his entire body. The truth is,†Sonic†collects coins because he needs enough money to pay for an experimental eyebrow calming procedure that should not only stop Tails from being such a rampant butch, but eventually reduce the eyebrows to their originally volume.

A photo of Tails pre-pubescent years.


Brock has 4 eye brows

Angela Lansbury

She's appeared in†Street Fighter, Hatoful Boyfriend, she played the Latino dude in†Gears of War†and well, need I say more?

Angry Birds

All the gang here (and they are a gang in every sense) have a wide array of multicultural, binary eyebrows. And best of all you can take them with you on the commute to work.

Crash Bandicoot

Crash is a cheeky little scamp who runs around jungles topless. His eyebrows are indicative of the rebellious era of the†Playstation 1†and are no doubt the reason he smiles so much.

Jax from him and Daxter

Why eyebrows matters to characters...

This is wrong!!

It's easy to find yourself in a catch-22 situation when embarking on the life changing road that is video gaming. One can be either too focused on minute details such as graphical intricacies or find themselves too complacent and offering no care whatsoever.†

Yet regardless of your stance on gaming as a hobby or gaming as a scandal laced fanart hotbed of controversy, lets not forget that video games have given us some damn mighty chins. Yes chins, the eyes of the neck block, the "I have no free hands, so I'll use it to turn on this light switch", what makes us stand out, sometimes literally and dangerously.†Chins!

Here we go with the top Chins in Video games

Lara Croft

The lass†from Tomb Raider 1 aka illegitimate sister of Dot Cotton, is one of the few video game characters who uses their own chin as not only a lock picking tool but also a means of flat out cutting through steel.


He†has squished testicles for a chin, so obviously the other panel of fictional judges that reviewed this racy article were hesitant to allow him a spot on this list. But who are we to deny a ballsack glued to your underlip area? If Wario was a real person, he'd be a bastard in an ice cream van. But for now, he's just a video game character rocking a double chin of win. Kinda apt that†Walugi†has a dildo for one.


This geezermust have a magnificent chin because he's a very shy boy and likes to hide his chin, so I'm assuming it's quite majestic but him being a humble little stabber makes him not want any attention. You know...cos kamikaze leaps from great heights into a cart of beggar wenches doesn't make anyone bat an eyelash.

Then we have...

Oh hell no,†NEXT!

Sleeping Dog Cop Guy

Sleeping Dog Cop†has a nice chin, because we need to include some multi-ethnic chinnage here.†He went a bit overboard with the tattoos though.

Angela Merkel

If ever there was a video game chin I'd make love to it'd be this one.†Mmmhmmm.

Prof Layton†

This suave smarty pants has one of the most unique chins across any platform or genre, because it looks like a hat that sits on his head. He's the Linda Lovelace of Nintendo.

Marcus Fenix, you big manly man you. Look at that man chin. Is there anything more masculine, more rawr than your own jawline. I don't think so. THIS IS VIDEOGAMES! UH GET SOME!

Honourable mention of those less fortunate...

PoorKirby, born in the ghetto, gangsta punks stole this CIS blobs chin

Pacman†is void of chin and yet somehow he got himself a wife. I dunno about you, but a having a chin is a vital part of supporting yourself during certain acts of lovemaking or as I call is, velvet-spelunking. Here, here Pacman, you're da real MVP!

Recently with the death of†Robin Williams, depression has been discussed quite a lot. Also with the push of†Depression Quest†and ironically the scandal involving the personal lives of the creator†Zoe Quinn†and others (I won't spread the Burger and Fries blog because that's not necessary), the value and merit of the game has been discussed.

To be honest, I never really heard much about the world of depression before the past few years. I knew someone in University who suffered it and took medication. I didn't quite get it. I said the stereotypical line to myself "how can he be doing well in university, have a boyfriend, a car he adores, a loving network of family and friends" and yet he often finds himself in this black hole, he can't explain where he needs to be alone and take medication. I will say that will educating yourself is important in life, people cannot be blamed for simply not knowing the details of every illness and situation that all humans can/do go through. There's a difference between being unaware and plain ignorant.

It was my first encounter and it wasn't until 2 years later I would go through my own bouts. I don't suffer from clinical depression, but I do go through extreme cases of it. I endured it for a year straight, loss of hope, waning faith and it was all new to me. I'd been sad of course, but this was new, fresh, roaring with life and yet so empty and dead.
Then last year before Christmas I went through a pretty insane patch of it, that still occurs today. This time, something new hit me...anxiety. Oh fuck. I can't describe it gracefully. You kinda know it's coming and you want to fight it, you sit in a silent panic internally, willing it to subside and not to come back. I had to phone a close friend one night, just to talk to her, I was crying, I was desperate...and I was so frightened.

I'd like to also to just highlight that just because someone is not diagnosed with depression or suffering it due to a chemical imbalance, does not make the depression they go through any less harrowing or invalid for purpose of discussion.

I've†written before about how gaming can help you through low points. Another†cblogger has also shared their experiences. But while it's good to talk about these things, a lot can be said for not delving in to talks of depression as a topic, taking a back seat and playing video games like†Depressing Quest†and†Actual Sunlight, can have a doubled edge sword effect.†

I think it's perfectly ok and understandable to play these games that you can relate to or that can give you even a glimmer of insight, but on the other hand I would like to heavily promote the idea that it's also ok to†not†indulge in them.

Playing video games can help you when you're going through stages of depression, because you're playing something immersive that takes your mind off it. It doesn't fix anything, but it gives you a mental relief. I can play†Mass Effect, Pokťmon, Metro†or anything and just focus on getting through the levels, indulging in the story and for a little while not being bogged down in what I'm usually thinking when not heavily distracted.


I wouldn't ever play games like†Depression Quest, whilst being in a very dark place. I've started a playthrough of†Actual Sunlight†and I'm not sure if I want to continue. For me if I do, it will be to simply complete the game. Again if you do for whatever reason, then that's good, that's dandy. But for me I see it as a slippery slope, one that is letting†me†succumb even further. For others that feeling of understanding can make them, momentarily perhaps, feel less alone and so for that reason, I get it.

On the†Scary Granules Channel†I begun a play-through of†The Cat Lady. Unlike†Depression Quest†and†Actual Sunlight, this game is brutal in it's visceral, cerebral bluntness and gore. The game is like a shock of emotional, deathly lightning, that's how I felt when the initial subdued, bleak opening dialogue ended.

I decided to not go on any further after a certain point of the game. It was very close to home in the subject matter and I could get a feeling that no matter how this game ended, there would be no uplifting conclusion or aftermath, not really. The path being taken by our heroine, if you could call her that, was not one of redemption or resolve and upon reading the script for the remainder of the game I didn't want to play, I found out that my assumptions were pretty accurate. Though the elves and choices you make and characters you come across were a lot more morbid than I would have guessed.

Again this is a case of something having the ability to resonate with someone, but whether that leads to a positive or negative effect is wholly dependant on the individual.

Summary of things I've learnt under the "gaming and depression" umbrella:
There's a lot to be said for playing online multiplayer games when you're in a rough spot, this is coming from a 95% single player gamer. It's nice to play with friends or people who are cool online, for a brief moment, you kinda lose that feeling of loneliness.

Decide for yourself what is the best course when it comes to picking a game to play when you're depressed. Go with your gut and trust yourself whether you decide to play something where depression is the primary theme or decide not to. It's ok either way.

Don't beat yourself up or beat others for not knowing what you're going through. How could they, it's such a solitary, internal personal conflict.†

Play games for what they are, don't let the e-drama ruin that for you.

For those that are interested and not aware, though you probably are -†Depression Quest is free currently on Steam.†Despite the actions of the creator, that doesn't really encourage me one way or the other, not to at least give folks a heads up and decide for themselves.

So I'm giving another go at raising money for a good cause. Alcoholic Bears Not-So Anonymoose was a riveting raunchy success. We made enough money to buy even more booze than we had already.

But seriously, I'm posting here because I'd like to ask for any donation, even as small as £1 from anyone or if not spreading the word would be equally appreciated.


The plan is as follows:

Last time I organised an event called Inclusion Con, this time I'm making it a little bit more personal and instead of having to rely on companies ect, I just have to rely on myself. That can both be less stressful but also more daunting, because only I can let people down. But hopefully not.

I will be walking from Sligo/Galway to Donegal (they're places in Ireland don't ya know) and then climbing my home mountain Muckish, where I will camp out for a nght, fasting for 24hrs.

This is all for charity (Special Effect are one of the major charities dedicated to helping the inclusion of disabled gamers). So the money will all go to help people with disabilities get their kick-ass gaming on. It's also personal for me on an emotional and spiritual level, I suppose.

Cheers everyone!

The past few years in gaming have pushed forth many different topics and principles. Those who play video games complain, more as consumers, than as gamers and yet both are intertwined together. But what part of us expresses ourselves as one over the over and has one element been a more prominent and louder voice, on social media, forums and general consensus?

We can all agree, I would at least presume, that one universal nitpicking we all have with gaming is the cost and that the cost has fluctuated up a steady slope for some time now. I am personally surprised that people can not only afford the latest consoles that have come out, the Xbox One and PS4, but †also have a collection of games already amassed. But we don't know peoples financial circumstances, nor is it our business too. But be that as it may, we know one thing - the video game industry is taking the piss when it comes to their marketing strategies and their pricing systems.

Though there are a variety of areas in which this is apparent - take for example Playstation's current set up where by you can digitally rent a game for a stupid price that increases the longer you hold it, but overall it would be a wiser, more profitable decision for a gamer to buy the game fully to own, not lease or just wait for the price to drop at some point in the near future.†

But as I don't purchase digital games, outside of Steam and they aren't really shafting anyone themselves (though the masses of crap games, that aren't even full games in any right, that flood via Greenlight right now, really needs controlling) I am not affected by such silly and anti-consumer benefit marketing plans, I complete agree they are doing a disservice as opposed to what the companies behind them thought, we'd think they were doing i.e the opposite.

For me my own gripe comes with regards to pre-orders.†

The first time a video game pre-order really rattled me was when Batman: Arkham City was announced. Not only would it have multiple versions for you to choose from, but there were ridiculous exclusive locations implemented.†

For example: The yellow lantern Batman costume (which doesn't look that great but still) was only available at the time when purchased in stores in Australia. There were quite a selection of skins, that were only available depending on the individual purchase you made, the store choice, the location of some stores ect. Then of course there was the downright unimpressive†Catwoman DLC (not unimpressive because of the gameplay itself). That would not have been rubbed in our faces as much, if we didn't have to see Catwoman related trophies that unlocked achievements, littered throughout Arkham City when you played the game minus the DLC you needed to pay extra for.†

This goes on and on, we can mention the Day One DLC scandals that continue to occur and of course the kickstarter of them all, the one that got quite a lot of notoriety - the†Mass Effect 3 Prothean Day One†DLC ....but I will hone this piece in a little more, narrowing the crosshairs on what made me write this up.

Ubisoft....Ubisoft. I said this†
and I genuinely am starting to think it might be the case.

Assassins Creed†games have been churned out at an alarmingly rapid pace ever since†Brotherhood. Also funnily enough Brotherhood is one of the best in the series so far. But no sooner has one been announced, then the next has been given it's Amazon slot and image galleries across gaming sites have been filled.†

But before we even get a glimpse at the story elements that will crop up in the next full fledged game (white dude with some sort of Americanised version of an accent does stuff), we are exposed to the pre-order special collector editions. All of them. At once. Wham!

It's as if developers want us to care more about the cardboard box and piece of plastic (if you're lucky to get physical goodies) than we do the game. You know the thing that they've supposedly put a lot of hours, crafting, filling with virtual life, expanding on a fleshed out story that people talk about and wonder what will come next. What we see online or in store, that is attached to a hefty dollar/pound sign, is meant to entice and mean more to us than what is found within the game itself.

Though not exactly the strongest case for this notion - the†Alan Wake special edition†was one I looked forward to owning and am glad I have it. The game itself was unlike anything else I played and was very enjoyable and spooky to me. But within the contents of the special edition, the game itself, the thing that you will be spending most time with, you should be more focused on, was the most lazily, unlovingly packaged piece -

This is the Xbox 360 game case...yeah I thought I'd been given a standard PC version too at the time.

Now obviously†Alan Wake†didn't suffer from being part of a churned out franchise and the quality of it's overall collectors edition didn't negate the gaming quality.†Assassin Creed†games don't lack in technical quality either, but they do lack in using a massive bucket of options. They can steer their characters and stories in any direction, yet they overall stick to a very copy/paste formula. The same can be said of their marketing strategy. Yes the collector editions for each game is unique in style and gifts within, but as I said, we will see more information about what pulls of our wallets than we will of the game for certain periods. We are overloaded and while it is our decision to look up news of such things or how to spend our money, it doesn't mean that developers and stores don't have some†responsibility. If not in shamelessly trying to overdo it, then try to at least do so in a†way that doesn't make it feel like you neglect the product we all actually want, the one you got in to the industry to create to begin with.

These people work hard to create games that will stick with us forever, more than box covers.

Gamers are getting wise to these blatant tricks now, because so many companies have jumped on the overload "ooh look at all the shinies" bandwagon, that transparency has been obliterated completely. We know now that we have an option to wait it out and not only get all the DLC we want at a more affordable price but get it and the new full game at a cheaper price!†

When†Fallout New Vegas Ultimate Edition†came out, a new copy of that game, including all DLC was cheaper than buying just even the standalone copy when it first launched. If anything you;re doing yourself damage gaming companies. Ubisoft is trending quite a lot on social media for the wrong reasons. If it's not because they come across as lazy gits in the realms of diversification, it's their hyping and flooding of pricy collector editions for games.

Right now my†dilemma†comes with a much loved franchise of mine -†Dragon Age.†Inquisition†is†coming out soon and I want to continue with getting the Collector Editions (something I only do if I really am in to the game). But what they are offering and the price for it, is a let down. I don't know if gamers as a whole, want crazy big expensive swag. For me personally, I prefer funky, enjoyable trinkets and something that adds value to the game, maybe to your desk and overall is something I am excited to wait for from the postman.

Hurry the feck up and drop it!

Anyway, I just find it a bit shallow and irking, that in general, there's so many areas of the video gaming industry from both sides of the fence, that are clouded with controversy. This may be lower on the list, especially when there's sexism, exploitation and other scandals floating around, like a lumpy bigoted elephant, but it is still an issue. Pre-ordering is something that some people, like say†Totalbiscuit†are against, as in the act of doing so, based on their take on the principles and execution of gaming marketing teams. I'm certainly not against pre-ordering, but I do advocate that we all try not to rush and give in to that urge to buy a game as soon as possible, if there's a high chance we're being shafted. Not to get a pre-order just for the sake of it, if the contents just seem to be last minute and were advertised in such a way, as to reel you in. I certainly know that I'm feeling that right now with†Alien Isolation.†


I am taking a very long step back from that game, but open to the possibility that it may be a worthy homage to the film series I enjoy immensely, but they are wise in their plugging of the original Alien cast as DLC to reel us wary fans in. But I won't give in, until there is some proof in that pudding and I'd have more faith in this industry I spend a lot of money and time on, if they did not take us for fools and tried to add a sense of equilibrium to their marketing ethics.

I was gonna say something about this....but I won't. We can all have a little giggle in our own time.†

£5 quid now if you fancy a new collectors edition :p