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Glowbear avatar 4:34 PM on 03.25.2012  (server time)
Mass Effect 3: You think the ending was bad, try the beginning!

There have been so many articles and blog entries posted here and on the internet in general regarding all areas of Mass Effect 3. Now whilst the game itself has knowingly or not (though I suspect the former) welcomed an onslaught of content to be written about, I am going to focus on my own personal ‘adventure’ with the actual acquiring of the game and the shit that went down with it.

Mass Effect 3 for me was an entirely enjoyable, fulfilling (up until the last moment) experience. I found it to be a masterpiece in its own right, putting it beside Knights of the Old Republic. (though KOTOR will never be topped)
But the days that led up to the games release and the actual day of release itself were not enjoyable for me at all.

I had initially heard that all pre-ordered copies of the game were no longer valid or basically they didn’t exist, from friends. It had been announced via Eurogamer and then other sites. I had only received an email from Gamestation telling me the truth much later on in the evening. So the rush began, finding places that now had N7 Edition and choosing which one to buy from. I wanted the game as soon as possible. I had been a fan of this series before it even hit the shelves and this climax was my little treat to myself.
I finally ordered with Amazon, paid £7 extra for expedited shipping (so I would get the game on launch day, the 9th). People who had ordered with Shopto, received their copy a day earlier. I tried to order with them, but alas their whole site decided to have an epileptic seizure and the process of ordering went out the window…epileptically.

The 9th of March came and I woke up early, as if it were Christmas. The doorbell rang and it was general post, bills and other fun stuff. Hours went by and it was now 3pm, the doorbell rang, it was a neighbour asking us if our toilet was blocked. I said no and she left, as if upset that only her P&P activities were being hindered. The doorbell rang a 3rd time at 4pm and a box was delivered. I assumed it was mine and starting tearing into the package. I saw that it was Mass Effect 3 and then I saw it was for PS3. I nearly excavated my anal region. Then I saw the name on the package. It was for my housemate. I sheepishly knocked on his door, explained why his package looked like it had been chewed on and left with disappointment, secretly hating him. But not really.

It was 6pm and I rang Amazon. They were apologetic & didn’t seem to know why there was a delay. I rang the delivery company and similar confused sentiments were exchanged. 7.30pm hit and the doorbell rang, a grumpy looking man threw a package at me and asked me to sign. I raised an eyebrow and said about time. He huffed and left.

Then I began to open my box, which was already quite dented. The fun began there and by fun I mean complete and utter fucknuggetry.

The game was bruised, dented and right royally smashed. A suspicious looking footprint like mark was on the exterior of the entire package. Methinks delivery man was chastised and took his anger out on my special box. No jokes, please super serial here.

I delicately opened the game and the case was shattered and cracked, the hinge completely abused and it broke in half.

I spent a long time talking to Amazon who were apologetic and said all they could do was refund me and give me a voucher. I thought I would have no choice but to find a regular copy of the game and my heart wasn’t even in it at the moment. I was actually upset (sad I know, it’s only a game but fuck you you judgemental panda). Anyway my lovely mother found a copy on Sainsbury’s, as all other searches proved useless. I ordered I and had to wait another 5 days to get ME3. The only pro of this whole thing is I got double the DLC, because to FUCK with all those that messed up and distributed it accordingly. In hindsight I should of made people wrestle butt-nekkid with dolphins, but I think that idea might have gotten slightly illegal. When I finally got to plat ME3 thankfully I dived into the game and became engrossed instantly and my love for it came back at full strength and up until the ending (which wasn’t even an ending apparently) I enjoyed every moment. The only complaint I have is that I apparently am a whore and broke Liara’s heart. But baby I’ll make it up to you in my 2nd play through and buy you some nice knickers from Amazon <3

Yeah baby ….oh shit I’m sorry Liara ;_;

So yeah that might not be interesting to some, but it was a bit of a hectic ordeal for me. Something that should have been so simple, something I truly enjoy was made complicated and stressful. I just hope that for all that grief and the persistent support of the game Bioware do what’s right and give me the DLC I deserved. Chakwas Orgy missions.

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