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Glowbear avatar 7:25 AM on 03.17.2013
Cameos to save the day


Did you know that Judi Dench got an Oscar for playing Queen Elizabeth in Shakespeare in Love despite having only appeared on screen for roughly 10 minutes? You probably did, but did you also know her role is credited as a cameo by many critics and reviewers?

Well I finished Max Payne 3 recently and got to thinking, which caused unspeakably erotic spasms in my head. There are some games out their, on that open range that would either benefit greatly from the cameo of another gaming character or other times, it simply makes sense for one to appear.

[Spoilers ahead]
In Max Payne 3 you play some levels as flashbacks, one in particular has you hold up in a cemetery trying to escape a bunch of hired mob goons who are after your neck after you killed a prominent corrupt fathers son. Max seems to be lucky enough to have James Bond-atitis, in whereby every time he should be dead, the villain takes too long ranting on or providing elaborate methods of death, instead of just shooting the protagonist in the head. Max and his friend are caught, unarmed and instead of being shot in the head, are left alone with two guards as they dig their own graves.

You know what would have been less repetitive and ten times more awesome. If in this moment where you assume Max has run out of what tarnished luck he has, bloody Mona would appear sniping the guards and rescuing Max's butt. Sadly Mona doesn't appear in this game at all, unless you play multiplayer and then it's just part of a classic pack.


My next suggestion for a cameo or random appearance of a character is yet another that exists within the game, but if the following had of happened, then it would have gone down in history! Down like the character herself after a night on the town.

You are Shepard, transported from the Citadel to meet the little brat who tells you what's what and that you will have to decide the fate of the universe. Why on earth didn't they send Dr. Chakwas up? Do you think she would have even given the kid 5 minutes to talk? No she would have slugged some Ice Brandy, shoved the holographic brat out of the way and probably urinated on all the option chutes on board the vessel. The Reapers would have probably melted, the a galaxy would have been fine and Chakwas would suffered a terrible hangover.

That's the ending we all wanted...we all needed from Mass Effect 3.

Duuuuhhhhhhh...


Next up is a little game called Hitman Absolution, in which we see a comical caper series of levels where poor Agent 47 is close to taking out his targets only to keep having a tall handsome man in a long white hoodie jump on them, taking the kill for himself. Conor the Assassin aka lovable, but bland scamp, showing up in the future to show Hitman that you don't need fancy gadgets or disguises, you don't even need those shiny guns you always carry. All you need is a high that exceeds 6 feet and a good sturdy aimed jump.



If we are to drown in more Pokémon games, I'd personally love it if the original and lovable Team Rocket came back - Jessie, James and Meowth! The variations of Team Rocket and various villains haven't quite been that interesting or lasting to me. Some of them seem to have deep agendas, philosophical tree hugging desires, Team Rocket just wanted to run the world and steal Pokémon. Sometimes simple is better.

I think I started out with a clear idea in mind and now I've come full circle and realise what I'm truly proposing. More games should cameo Judi Dench. Strike that - ALL GAMES SHOULD!

What cameos or comebacks would you have like to have seen in games?


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