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Aliens: Time for a Scolding - Destructoid






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It's a bit of a spunky mess isn't it....

I'm still playing Aliens: Colonial Marines. It's quite funny and at the same time morbid that whilst I'm playing it in Steam I will get random messages of sympathy and condolence. I won't write an in-depth review of the game, suffice to say that we all know the score. It's not Duke Nukem Forever bad but it could and should have been so much better.
Co-op could be quite enjoyable if it weren't for the lagging issues myself and seemingly plenty others have been having, plus putting some effort into making co-op slightly different than single player would help. Having all teamed characters react in movement and dialogue unanimously and repeated to a script is just plain lazy. Take note from Dead Space 3 Gearbox...or whoever really made the game.

So this is just a little bit of nitpicking about the general annoyances that the game has produced
from the offset, most of which are also harder to dismiss being a fan of the series.
Lets begin the nagging!



Fail Font
The picked the most generic font instead of just going with the Alien one, I mean why bother having that awesome opening score and then hamming in Arial or whatever. The intro in general lacks any real build up, you have to wait until you get into the game and even then…well…

Set your Xeno's to Phase
The Aliens aren't that difficult to overcome and kill. A lot of the time I thought that they were being tricky dickys bouncing all over the place and it was scripted, then I realised no that was just the irritating lag. Aliens vanish after being killed, almost instantly. Sometimes you’ll be lucky (sarcasm radar set to high) if you see the Alien vanish under the guise of melting and evaporating in its own acid blood. But even then it isn't executed well at all, the floor is usually still in tack bar some charring and the xeno puffs away to that great big Giger sanctuary in the sky. This really detracts from the sense of atmosphere of the game. You feel like you're just in a generic marine game, cleaning up a mess.


Ray Liotta
You play as lead character is Ray Liotta. That is all. This is basically more of an homage to Heartbreakers than Aliens.


Nothing to see here
Your character, Ray Liota, takes everything quite well and doesn’t even speak about seeing Eggs/Facehugger/Xenomorphs for first time.
You are within minutes confronted with a fellow marine glued to the wall in xeno-gunk and you both seem to act like he’s simply stuck in traffic.

Keyes himself comes across as somewhat perturbed by his confinement, but then sort of adopts this expression of indifference as he lingers there while you prepare to cut him down. I don’t know about you but there’s also something a bit “take me now big boy” in his eyes as he’s strapped on the wall.



Your face gives you a stiffy
The facial animations are pretty weak and void of any emotion. 2013 people, we should be able to make at a character express emotion, especially when a giant phallic chest fucker is coming towards them. Wide eyes and frowns would be a good start. Bishop in particular looks like the character BUT in a very rough manner, a bit more definition would have created an almost spot on gaming clone.


Lopsided Panza

Where mah girls at?
No female marines in SP worth mentioning. Oh wait you mean the motionless pilot and that secretary that gets brushed off when she first speaks? Or do you mean the female marine that is turned into some ghetto victim? Ripley and Vasquez would be rolling in their cryo-chambers.

Cannonball Fear
It’s always a risk given license to someone else to add or alter the canon of something, especially a well known and loved franchise. I’m not entirely sure if I’m nitpicking too much for example there’s a scene at the start of the game where you come across launched escape pods, which seems to be hinted towards the ones Ripley and Newt were in…only they didn’t escape the Sulaco to Fiorina 'Fury' 161 in escape individual escape pods, they had their own little escape ship.

Console beats PC?
I keep hearing that the console version especially 360 is actually technically better than PC, examples being better headshot lock on sect. How did this happen man.

The ending of the first mission features a dance off, Glee-esque brother n arms montage. No seriously look!



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