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So there I was on Tuesday morning having my beauty sleep as beautiful people do, when I was rudely awakened by the postman at 9am. What could it be I wonder. So I got up and went down the stairs and...

...OH MY GOD IT'S A PACKAGE FROM ANTHONY BURCH. A reconstruction has been used as the original packaging was binned but I tell you the truth when I was shocked to see such appalling handwriting on the package. I almost thought it was from Gandysampras at first. So anyway, I opened the package to find...

...VIDEO GAMES! Only about a week after winning the contest, my prizes were here. That certainly made up for the handwriting. I almost noticed that it cost $12.50 to send the package. Even in these hard economic times, Anthony Burch still does his best to bring joy to the people. What was interesting is that the Warioland box had French parts on it. Canadian version maybe? Of course the main question is, do they actually work since they're NTSC titles?

I'm happy to report that they do! Luckily, the NTSC version of Quantum Of Solace is region free, so my 360 accepted it no problem. As for the Wii games, with a little NOT GeckoOS, both of them also worked fine.

So there we have it, 3 new games to play when I had none left that I hadn't already completed. Clearly Anthony Burch is a master of timing. I bet he got those skills from Braid. Anyway as for impressions, I've played Quantum Of Solace for a few hours now and it's actually pretty fun no thanks to the CoD4 engine. However it's criminally short. I only tried the tutorial level of Wario Land: Shake It but it seemed like a pretty decent platformer. As for Nights: Journey Of Dreams, I only put the disc in to see it worked as I'll play that and Wario Land once I've completed Quantum Of Solace. So thanks go to Anthony Burch for the games and Papa Burch for picking my shoop as the winning entry.
Photo Photo Photo

(originally posted on Mediawhorenetwork)

One of my first posts on MWN was an impressions post for the Red Faction: Guerrilla beta that was taking place at the time. At the time I thought It had potential but it still had a bit to go. Well the game has been worked on since then and so we come to April, where myTHQ users could sign up for free and get the new single player Red Faction: Guerrilla demo for free. Being the loyal, hard working myTHQ member I am, I quickly took that offer and have now been playing the demo for about a week before everyone else got it yesterday. So how does it compare with the beta Iíve played?

Well first off if youíre looking for story then youíre not in the right place at all. Red Faction: Guerrilla may be brainless action, but itís fun brainless action. So the story is pretty simple. Basically youíre on Mars and part of the Red Faction, a rebel group who is trying to start a revolution against the cliche evil EDF (Earth Defence Force?). We are never told why theyíre evil, but they are so theyíre the enemy. You also have the help of the miners, who are sick of the EDFís oppression but are too scared it seems to have their own revolution so itís up to you and your fellow dirty commies to help them go Viva La Revolution on the EDFís arses.

So the demo mission is to steal a walker for the miners. Should be simple right, so letís get to work. Now the gameís main attention grabber is the physics and the destruction you can course and for once, when a developer says that you can destroy anything, they mean it. From bridges to portable loos, virtually everything can be destroyed it one way or another and boy is it fun. It gives you various options in your destruction too. Do you smash the toilet down with your mighty Moon Hammer or do you make a minuscule effort by using vehicles like the tank or the walker? Do you destroy a bridge with the hands of a walker or do you strategically plant bombs on the frames of the bridge? Itís great stuff and hopefully means that the final game shouldnít get too repetitive.

So Iím going through the camp, hitting everything in the way with my hammer, or with a gun for the EDF drones, where the arguably weakest part shows in that the shooting is pretty generic really. The weapon changing system is also a little clunky with up to 4 weapons being available by pressing RB/R1 and the analog stick left, right, up or down. That being said the focus is more on the other toys than anything else. Eventually after I make my way through the camp, I reach the walker, and this is where the fun starts. The walker is one mighty of object of destruction and you can destroy so much with it that the game has to slow down a little just to keep going. The main idea that came from the game is that if you like destroying things, then this is the game for you.

So after getting the Walker to our vehicle, weíre onto the final section of the demo, which is a truck chase with you on the back with a big, awesome turret. Itís a good sign with this as it shows that the game might have more variety than just being on foot all of the time. After the demo finishes, Iím told Iíve unlocked hard, which is the same as normal except for a smaller health bar, and a trailer which promises a huge open map and up to 120 missions. This sounds pretty promising if itís true repeated playthroughs did give the worry that the game might be a bit repetitive. The game also promises about 17 weapons as well, which should be nice for multiplayer mode. In conclusion, the positives outweigh the negatives and Iím a lot more excited about Red Faction: Guerrilla than I was before. That being said I think Iíll wait for a while when itís released to see if the price drops. Red Faction: Guerrilla is out on June 5th for Xbox 360, Playstation 3 and PC. Viva La Revolution comrade!

Oh Ganandos, we could have been friends. This all started with a nice drive out in the country to see your wonderful castle. I was never here to save the President's Daughter like you thought I was. And when I came into one of your houses, I was only looking for someone to point me to the castle. So when one of you gave me that face when I asked you for directions, I knew we wouldn't be friends. You see, giving me a look like that, I had no choice but to shoot one of you in the face. Was that enough of a warning not to piss you off? No, you went one further and knocked my car off a cliff. I'd worked for years to earn that car. There was no way you were getting away with that.

I have no regrets about walking into a village full of innocent Ganandos and popping their heads off one after another. Trashing another guy's car is like shooting him in the balls and that's not cool. Even your Dr.Salvador tried to reason with me but despite his admirable resistance to bullets, even he couldn't stop himself from dying at the hands of my pistol. But I suppose I can't blame you completely. After all I didn't know that you were all being controlled by some crazy cosplaying freak and his midget bitch, but they should have realized that I was only coming to your village for a quiet week away, not on some rescue mission and once they made you trash my car, there was no going back. You could have resisted their orders. Gone Communist on their asses like your Cuban equivalents and rose above their parasite dictatorship. But no, you just blindly followed orders and you all ended up dead, along with that parasite that blinded you. Or so I thought.

You just couldn't call it a day could you Las Plagas. You just had to go infect another village didn't you. Manjini, it wasn't completely your fault, but you too could have resisted from being controlled. I mean you could have easily have fought a civil war with David Bowie and his bitch and arms monkey, but you were weak and submissive and when you gave me the same eye that first Ganando had given me five years prior, I knew this was going to end well with me and you riding off into the sunset. The feelings I had gotten in Spain returned and I slaughtered every single one of you.

Still, if anything good has come out of encountering both you Ganandos and Manjini, is that I did get some sort of sick thrill out of it and £60's worth of fun. It doesn't make up for my car being destroyed, but I feel that you did indeed get your just deserts. And for giving me something interesting to do while I was on holiday in Spain and Kijuju, I salute you.

So I was checking my feeds this morning when I came across this Daily Mail article. Now I only have a Daily Mail feed because they make me laugh but I was shocked to find who we thought was our friend, Jim Sterling, writing for them, claiming that teenagers say that violent video games make them murderers. We trusted you Sterling!

(the evidence)

Uncanny no? This is one of the possibly fathers of the kid that came from the 15 year old whore that the British media has been wanking over recently. As Bunnyrabbit2 quite right pointed out, one of these fathers looks a lot like me. So I've come to the conclusion that he must be my evil doppelganger and if he is the father then he has given his sperm to the anti-christ. Now I've got to fight him to the death for the world's sake. This evil one came first but I will have victory!

Battle plan ideas?