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Who is BritToid? Gibbo takes a look at the Bookies' predictions
Gibbo | 10:14 AM on 06.02.2010 13 comments



Well that's the question on everyone's lips isn't it? Ever since the public was told to have something to smile about on June 7th, speculation has been rampant and what or just who BritToid is. Ian Roberts MP, Minister of Photoshop has been teasing us with potential people who may been involved in the event, including treasured icons Keith Chegwin, Sooty and Ross Kemp. The bookies have been taking part as well and a number of potential candidates now have odds. Here I investigate some of the various figures the bookies are putting forward and whether they're worth betting on.

Postman Pat 4-1

It's no surprise to see the jolly postman here. He's been having a hard time over the last few years keeping up with all the new rival children TV shows as to the new age he's looking a bit dated. That being said, he still a British icon and BritToid could be just the gig he needs to get his career back on track. The only thing that could set him back is that black and white cat. After the sex scandal that hit the papers a few months back, it's not the most popular right now and may hold Pat back. This would be the safe bet but that doesn't guarantee Pat will be making an appearance.

Noel Edmonds 7-1

After Noel's House Party ended, many thought it'd be the last we'd see of Noel but he is currently on a resurgence right now after the success of Deal or No Deal. A British Veteran like Postman Pat, he is loved by many generations of Britons. This makes him a prime candidate for appearing on BritToid. That being said, Edmonds appearing may bring back memories of Mr.Blobby, who has rarely been mentioned ever since "the incident". There is also the fact that Noel already has it safe with Deal or No Deal, so may not want to take a risk on BritToid. All being said, he has the right mixture of unpredictability and safeness to make a good bet for.

Sean Connery 16-1

We haven't heard a lot from the Scottish actor as of late. The last I remember hearing about him was when he declined to appear in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Given his stature, you think you'd hear more about him. But wait, what if it's because he's been working on BritToid? As Clint Eastwood has proven, old actors can still have a lot left in them so there is all the possibility that this is what Connery has been doing all this time. Certainly an outsider, but one that could win you a lot of money.

Ringo Starr 25-1

Every piece of media needs some comedic relief and who better to serve that purpose than the goofy but ultimately loveable Ringo Starr? Even in a band like The Beatles, Starr was always the butt of most of the jokes and so he can be again on BritToid. On the other hand, he's in no position that he needs to, since that cow that milks Beatles money will never run dry. But then, it's not like he's done anything worth mentioning since then right?

The Master 100-1

A very strange choice by the bookies here, given The Master isn't even from Planet Earth, nevermind the United Kingdom. It's very possible they're under his control though. Although looking at it, is it actually a bad idea? Like the comedic relief, every piece of media also needs a complete cunt that everyone can hate and blame for any problems in it. Could this be the case for BritToid as well? Well first The Master would have to somehow escape from the Time block technobabble but if he can survive through just a ring then I'm sure he can make it onto BritToid.



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11 comments | showing # 1 to 11
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Sean Carey's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 11:44
Sean Carey
Always bet on Saxon.
Aurain's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 12:01
Aurain
It's Cheggers.
If it's not, then you're all teasing assholes and evil people!
Stevil's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 12:09
Stevil
It's not the Master since he always uses an anagram of his name. Amazing how The Doctor has never sussed that out after so many years.
Occams electric toothbrush's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 12:18
Occams electric toothbrush
Sussed is a fun word.
Handy's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 12:27
Handy
Noel Edmonds, if only for the chance that Mr. Blobby could come in at any time screaming “blobbyblobbyblobbyblobbyblobby” and just generally fuck things up.
Hollie Bennett's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 12:37
Hollie Bennett
postman pat is a cunt.
Tarvu's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 14:07
Tarvu
Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. <3

I'd go with the Master. By which I mean I would have sex with him maybe.
Stevil's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 14:45
Stevil
Yeah, but which version of The Master?



Obviously, not the badly burnt version. I dunno, Roger Delgado (the first) had a badass goatee. I bet that was all the rage for the ladies in the 70's.
Soulwax's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 16:32
Soulwax
It's Princess Diana obviously.
Mark Griffiths's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/02/2010 16:58
Mark Griffiths
It better not be Blair. My guess is... Reece Shearsmith. What're the odds on him?
Mr Wrighty 987's Avatar - Comment posted on 06/03/2010 01:17
Mr Wrighty 987
Is it the old bloke who keeps getting caugh wanking infront of the girls school around the corner from me?
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