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Blowing Out The Eternal Flame: An IRC Love Story - Destructoid




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If you at least have an idea what Gandy is like, then you will know that he is a complete manslut. His first love was The Young Scot, but as soon as he saw Halfleft for the first time, it was never the same for the two confused young men. Recently Gandy has moved onto Corican after meeting him at Eurogamer, but The Young Scot wasn't going to let Gandy forget about his first love. The following is what happened next in IRC:

<4Gibbo> I remember the days of Gandy and Scot
[22:54] <04Gibbo> poor Scot
[22:55] * %The_Young_Scot weeps
[22:55] <Corican> Sorry Scot, I feel kinda guilty
[22:55] <+Gandy> fuck him
[22:55] <%The_Young_Scot> DON'T YOU TALK TO ME YOU HOME WRECKER
[22:55] <+Gandy> he left me a long time ago
[22:55] <04Gibbo> Gandy was stolen from him long before you
[22:55] <+Gandy> YOU WERE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME
[22:55] <Corican> ok, thats cool then
[22:56] <04Gibbo> it's pretty much Halfie's fault
[22:56] <+Gandy> You cant speak to my Jordypoo like that!
[22:56] <%The_Young_Scot> I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH? I BAKED MY GENITALS INTO A PIE FOR YOU!
[22:56] * +Gandy smacks The_Young_Scot in the face with the genital pie
[22:56] <04Gibbo> once Gandy set his eyes on that Geordie, it was never the same
[22:56] <+Gandy> TAKE THEM BACK
[22:56] <+Gandy> I NEVER WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN
[22:56] <%The_Young_Scot> those were a gift....
[22:57] <Corican> I'm gonna have to add Jordypoo to my word alert list now
[22:57] <+Gemsi> the fact you still had it shows you care on some level....
[22:57] <04Gibbo> You've only broke his heart more now
[22:57] <ThePhil> I need whiskey
[22:57] <+Gandy> Some gift, less than an inch long and no reciept?
[22:57] <+Gandy> What am I supposed to do with this shit?
[22:57] <+Gandy> YOUR LAST NAME ISNT EVEN MCSPLOSION FOR CHRISSAKES!
[22:57] <+Gandy> When will the lies end....
[22:57] <%The_Young_Scot> hey, I didn't bake ALL of my genitals into the pie
[22:57] <%The_Young_Scot> I have backups
[22:58] <Batthink> He still has a ball left?
[22:58] <+Gandy> That jsut shows your fear of commitment, you never could work past it
[22:58] <%The_Young_Scot> You never let me close! Everytime I tried to get near you put up walls
[22:58] <%The_Young_Scot> especially around your butt
[22:58] <+Gandy> I left a glory hole didnt I?
[22:58] <+Gandy> We could still be...intimate
[22:59] <Corican> *ahem*
[22:59] <04Gibbo> it's too late now
[22:59] <%The_Young_Scot> there was no glory to be had in that hole
[22:59] <%The_Young_Scot> just shame
[22:59] <+Gandy> You werent ashamed when we first did it
[22:59] <+Gandy> You showed me off all around town
[22:59] <+Gandy> Like a prize you won at a fair
[22:59] <ThePhil> Now I have whiskey
[23:00] <%The_Young_Scot> That was before you let yourself go, started groaping at people on the street
[23:00] <+Gandy> I only started groping other people because you wouldnt touch me
[23:00] <+Gandy> Even when you got drunk you would lock yourself in the bathroom and wank into old photos of Steve Irwin
[23:00] <+Gandy> WHY NOT ME
[23:00] <+Gandy> WHY WASNT I GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
[23:01] <ThePhil> Really, this is still going? Now I'm more glad I got whiskey
[23:01] <%The_Young_Scot> YOU WERE TOO CLINGY! YOU KEPT TALKING ABOUT THE CHILDREN WE WOULD HAVE TOGETHER
[23:01] <%The_Young_Scot> YOU CAN'T GIVE BIRTH!
[23:01] <%The_Young_Scot> I couldn't bring myself to tell you
[23:01] <+Gandy> I WAS WILLING TO TRY WHY WERENT YOU?
[23:01] <nikmonroe> I keep checking in and it's just getting more sexual
[23:01] <+Gandy> Miracles happen you know!
[23:02] <%The_Young_Scot> I COULDN'T HUMOUR YOU ANY LONGER, YOU KEPT EATING PREGNANCY TESTERS, THINKING IT WOULD MAKE YOU MORE FERTILE
[23:02] <%The_Young_Scot> YOUR URINE NEVER TURNED BLUE BECAUSE YOU ARE A BARREN WASTELAND
[23:02] <+Gandy> ONLY BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT TAKE ME TO THE CLINIC FOR IVF, DONT YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY FOR THE TREATMENT?
[23:03] <ThePhil> Jesus
[23:03] <+Gandy> YOU KNOW I WAS BORN INTO A POOR FAMILY, WHILST YOU WERE BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN YOUR MOUTH
<%The_Young_Scot> THEY COULD FIRE A NUCLEAR WARHEAD UP YOUR BACKSIDE, IT WOULDN'T CHANGE YOUR ABILITY TO GET UP THE DUFF
[23:03] * +Gandy sobs uncontrollably
[23:03] <Corican> ALRIGHT SCOT, BACK THE FUCK UP!
[23:03] <+Gandy> I HATE YOU
[23:03] <Corican> IT'S OVER. HE'S MOVED ON.
[23:04] <+Gandy> JORDYPOO, TAKE ME HOME
[23:04] <Corican> LEAVE IT ALONE!
[23:04] <%The_Young_Scot> TAKE HIM CORICAN! HE'S TAINTED GOODS
[23:04] <+Gandy> He's going to hit me again
[23:04] * +Gandy cowers
[23:04] <%The_Young_Scot> But one day Corican, ONE DAY, you'll find him hunched over a small indian child, claiming to be his papa
[23:04] <%The_Young_Scot> and it will break your heart
[23:04] * %The_Young_Scot weeps
[23:05] * +Gandy slaps The_Young_Scot
[23:05] <+Gandy> SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
[23:05] * %The_Young_Scot pulls gandy's hair
[23:05] * +Gandy rips The_Young_Scot's dress
[23:06] * %The_Young_Scot pushes gandy into a puddle
[23:06] * +Gandy charges at The_Young_Scot and pushis him down, pinning him to the floor
[23:06] <+Gandy> WHY WONT YOU JUST HOLD ME LIKE YOU USED TO
[23:06] * %The_Young_Scot struggles with Gandy, tearing at his clothing
[23:07] * +Gandy rips the remnants of The_Young_Scot's dress off and grabs his throat, choking him
[23:08] * %The_Young_Scot gasps and tries to use his feet to knock Gandy off him, inadvertently depantsing him
[23:08] * +Gandy 's choking hands slowly loosen as he stares deep into The_Young_Scot's gorgeous eyes
[23:10] * %The_Young_Scot lustfully looks into the eyes of Gandy, lips trembling as he utters "Take me you beautiful hairy bastard!"
[23:10] * +Gandy mounts The_Young_Scot like there's no tomorrow

At this point, it became too sexy for IRC to handle.



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