If you at least have an idea what Gandy is like, then you will know that he is a complete manslut. His first love was The Young Scot, but as soon as he saw Halfleft for the first time, it was never the same for the two confused young men. Recently Gandy has moved onto Corican after meeting him at Eurogamer, but The Young Scot wasn't going to let Gandy forget about his first love. The following is what happened next in IRC:

<4Gibbo> I remember the days of Gandy and Scot
[22:54] <04Gibbo> poor Scot
[22:55] * %The_Young_Scot weeps
[22:55] <Corican> Sorry Scot, I feel kinda guilty
[22:55] <+Gandy> fuck him
[22:55] <%The_Young_Scot> DON'T YOU TALK TO ME YOU HOME WRECKER
[22:55] <+Gandy> he left me a long time ago
[22:55] <04Gibbo> Gandy was stolen from him long before you
[22:55] <+Gandy> YOU WERE NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR ME
[22:55] <Corican> ok, thats cool then
[22:56] <04Gibbo> it's pretty much Halfie's fault
[22:56] <+Gandy> You cant speak to my Jordypoo like that!
[22:56] <%The_Young_Scot> I WAS NEVER GOOD ENOUGH? I BAKED MY GENITALS INTO A PIE FOR YOU!
[22:56] * +Gandy smacks The_Young_Scot in the face with the genital pie
[22:56] <04Gibbo> once Gandy set his eyes on that Geordie, it was never the same
[22:56] <+Gandy> TAKE THEM BACK
[22:56] <+Gandy> I NEVER WANT TO SEE THEM AGAIN
[22:56] <%The_Young_Scot> those were a gift....
[22:57] <Corican> I'm gonna have to add Jordypoo to my word alert list now
[22:57] <+Gemsi> the fact you still had it shows you care on some level....
[22:57] <04Gibbo> You've only broke his heart more now
[22:57] <ThePhil> I need whiskey
[22:57] <+Gandy> Some gift, less than an inch long and no reciept?
[22:57] <+Gandy> What am I supposed to do with this shit?
[22:57] <+Gandy> YOUR LAST NAME ISNT EVEN MCSPLOSION FOR CHRISSAKES!
[22:57] <+Gandy> When will the lies end....
[22:57] <%The_Young_Scot> hey, I didn't bake ALL of my genitals into the pie
[22:57] <%The_Young_Scot> I have backups
[22:58] <Batthink> He still has a ball left?
[22:58] <+Gandy> That jsut shows your fear of commitment, you never could work past it
[22:58] <%The_Young_Scot> You never let me close! Everytime I tried to get near you put up walls
[22:58] <%The_Young_Scot> especially around your butt
[22:58] <+Gandy> I left a glory hole didnt I?
[22:58] <+Gandy> We could still be...intimate
[22:59] <Corican> *ahem*
[22:59] <04Gibbo> it's too late now
[22:59] <%The_Young_Scot> there was no glory to be had in that hole
[22:59] <%The_Young_Scot> just shame
[22:59] <+Gandy> You werent ashamed when we first did it
[22:59] <+Gandy> You showed me off all around town
[22:59] <+Gandy> Like a prize you won at a fair
[22:59] <ThePhil> Now I have whiskey
[23:00] <%The_Young_Scot> That was before you let yourself go, started groaping at people on the street
[23:00] <+Gandy> I only started groping other people because you wouldnt touch me
[23:00] <+Gandy> Even when you got drunk you would lock yourself in the bathroom and wank into old photos of Steve Irwin
[23:00] <+Gandy> WHY NOT ME
[23:00] <+Gandy> WHY WASNT I GOOD ENOUGH FOR YOU
[23:01] <ThePhil> Really, this is still going? Now I'm more glad I got whiskey
[23:01] <%The_Young_Scot> YOU WERE TOO CLINGY! YOU KEPT TALKING ABOUT THE CHILDREN WE WOULD HAVE TOGETHER
[23:01] <%The_Young_Scot> YOU CAN'T GIVE BIRTH!
[23:01] <%The_Young_Scot> I couldn't bring myself to tell you
[23:01] <+Gandy> I WAS WILLING TO TRY WHY WERENT YOU?
[23:01] <nikmonroe> I keep checking in and it's just getting more sexual
[23:01] <+Gandy> Miracles happen you know!
[23:02] <%The_Young_Scot> I COULDN'T HUMOUR YOU ANY LONGER, YOU KEPT EATING PREGNANCY TESTERS, THINKING IT WOULD MAKE YOU MORE FERTILE
[23:02] <%The_Young_Scot> YOUR URINE NEVER TURNED BLUE BECAUSE YOU ARE A BARREN WASTELAND
[23:02] <+Gandy> ONLY BECAUSE YOU WOULDNT TAKE ME TO THE CLINIC FOR IVF, DONT YOU LOVE ME ENOUGH TO PAY FOR THE TREATMENT?
[23:03] <ThePhil> Jesus
[23:03] <+Gandy> YOU KNOW I WAS BORN INTO A POOR FAMILY, WHILST YOU WERE BORN WITH A SILVER SPOON IN YOUR MOUTH
<%The_Young_Scot> THEY COULD FIRE A NUCLEAR WARHEAD UP YOUR BACKSIDE, IT WOULDN'T CHANGE YOUR ABILITY TO GET UP THE DUFF
[23:03] * +Gandy sobs uncontrollably
[23:03] <Corican> ALRIGHT SCOT, BACK THE FUCK UP!
[23:03] <+Gandy> I HATE YOU
[23:03] <Corican> IT'S OVER. HE'S MOVED ON.
[23:04] <+Gandy> JORDYPOO, TAKE ME HOME
[23:04] <Corican> LEAVE IT ALONE!
[23:04] <%The_Young_Scot> TAKE HIM CORICAN! HE'S TAINTED GOODS
[23:04] <+Gandy> He's going to hit me again
[23:04] * +Gandy cowers
[23:04] <%The_Young_Scot> But one day Corican, ONE DAY, you'll find him hunched over a small indian child, claiming to be his papa
[23:04] <%The_Young_Scot> and it will break your heart
[23:04] * %The_Young_Scot weeps
[23:05] * +Gandy slaps The_Young_Scot
[23:05] <+Gandy> SHUT YOUR WHORE MOUTH
[23:05] * %The_Young_Scot pulls gandy's hair
[23:05] * +Gandy rips The_Young_Scot's dress
[23:06] * %The_Young_Scot pushes gandy into a puddle
[23:06] * +Gandy charges at The_Young_Scot and pushis him down, pinning him to the floor
[23:06] <+Gandy> WHY WONT YOU JUST HOLD ME LIKE YOU USED TO
[23:06] * %The_Young_Scot struggles with Gandy, tearing at his clothing
[23:07] * +Gandy rips the remnants of The_Young_Scot's dress off and grabs his throat, choking him
[23:08] * %The_Young_Scot gasps and tries to use his feet to knock Gandy off him, inadvertently depantsing him
[23:08] * +Gandy 's choking hands slowly loosen as he stares deep into The_Young_Scot's gorgeous eyes
[23:10] * %The_Young_Scot lustfully looks into the eyes of Gandy, lips trembling as he utters "Take me you beautiful hairy bastard!"
[23:10] * +Gandy mounts The_Young_Scot like there's no tomorrow

At this point, it became too sexy for IRC to handle.

You might remember that this time last year I made a blog telling you 5 things that you could do if you weren't at PAX. Well, PAX 2009 has just kicked off and once again there are some of us not there, so that means that it's time for more alternatives, but this time we're cranking it up all the way to 6!

1.Cry again

Sure, it was on the last year's list, but SHIT FUCKING SUCKS. Not only are more people than ever going this year, but once again we get not just the fact that everyone is having a merry old time at PAX, but even after PAX we'll get the chatter in IRC and the clusterfuck of emotional PAX related cblogs. If that's not a reason to cry, then I don't know what is.

2.Join FOP aka Friends of the PAXLess

I can't help you with translating the foppish found throughout the call to arms but hey, if they're there for PAXless people then that's fine by me. I think.

3.Play some videogames!

Well this is a site based around videogames. I'm not going to suggest you start knitting or something am I? The brilliant Batman: Arkham Asylum came out recently for example and even if you can't afford to even pay for your internet (see: Wilbo), then you should have a healthy amount of games that you can replay. I'd say join in on FNF, but FNF will be a ghost town this week I'm afraid to say.

4.Come in IRC and be bitter and jaded

Yesterday, PAX went from a Karma of around 90 to an eventual karma of -130. That is the power of the anti-PAX pillow fortress in IRC. Thanks to Bloodylip, we also have to the power to kick anyone in PAX who even dares to try and come and rub our faces in it over at IRC. Unless Aerox is online, in which case we're fucked. Don't tell the people that though, it would bring down their morale.

5.(UK special) Go Watch District 9

It finally came out here today and I heard it's a pretty cool guy. Hell, you Americans could even go watch it again if you so wish.

6.Twiddle your thumbs

Mmm, sexy.

Now who said PAX weekend would be a drag?

Bonus no7. TITS!

I heard they get you hits.

P.S In before fapping.

Oh right, this about Dtoid. In that case I'll just copypasta my year one blog.

Oh right, this about Dtoid. In that case I'll just copypasta my year one blog.

It was December 31st 2007 when I first visited Destructoid and decided to sign up. Too be honest I don't really remember alot of the occasion; I mean it wasn't exactly something I thought would change my life as drastically as it has. I guess I just thought I'd try a different community for a while. So I signed up, had a look around and stayed, eventually becoming the only community I would be at on the internet.

Articles
Destructoid's writers have always felt like they're writing as one of us. They're not some just "professional games journalists" who writs like they have the emotions of a Terminator but are opinionated people with a good sense of humour and knowledge. Not much else I can think of but if I enjoy them, then I know Destructoid's writers must be doing something right.

Podcast (or more importantly, Podcastle)
To be honest, IMO the podcasts on Destructoid are alright. Just alright. Podtoid is decent but just feels like any
other gaming podcast and I just don't like RFGO, it isn't my thing. (I'll start running once I've posted this)
However, ironically the one that most people don't like is the one I love. Ever since I listened to Podcastle for the first time (the Wilbo Sean Connery episode I believe) I've been downloading every new episode for my biweekly dose of Jim, Lauren and Wardrox. It might be the Britishness of it all, or the humour, or even that it doesn't just stick purely to gaming discussion. It just melds all together into 1-2 hours of audiosex. Plus, live Podcastles where we all take the piss out of Wardrox? Just awesome. The Podcastle might be over now but I can't wait for what Jim, Lauren and Wardrox bring us next.

Community
Probably the most important reason. From some of the funny comments in the blogosphere, to shits and giggles during Friday Night Fights, to looking down on the AAA Squad in the forums or just chatting with everyone in IRC (and let's be honest, that's a lot). I've just fallen in love with the Destructoid community (Except thebez, but fuck that guy). It's the first community I've truly felt a part of, and I look forward to spending many more years with the community.

I look forward to hopefully many more years of fun and laughs. Or something.

P.S Cblogging still doesn't work with Chrome? Lame.

Happy Birthday!

He may be a pain in the arse with his spelling corrections sometimes, but we do love our Grammar Nazi from Newcastle really (well at least Gandy does.). So in return for my birthday shoutout, here is a birthday shoutout for Halfleft! Happy Burfday!

So there I was on Tuesday morning having my beauty sleep as beautiful people do, when I was rudely awakened by the postman at 9am. What could it be I wonder. So I got up and went down the stairs and...


...OH MY GOD IT'S A PACKAGE FROM ANTHONY BURCH. A reconstruction has been used as the original packaging was binned but I tell you the truth when I was shocked to see such appalling handwriting on the package. I almost thought it was from Gandysampras at first. So anyway, I opened the package to find...

...VIDEO GAMES! Only about a week after winning the contest, my prizes were here. That certainly made up for the handwriting. I almost noticed that it cost $12.50 to send the package. Even in these hard economic times, Anthony Burch still does his best to bring joy to the people. What was interesting is that the Warioland box had French parts on it. Canadian version maybe? Of course the main question is, do they actually work since they're NTSC titles?

I'm happy to report that they do! Luckily, the NTSC version of Quantum Of Solace is region free, so my 360 accepted it no problem. As for the Wii games, with a little NOT GeckoOS, both of them also worked fine.

So there we have it, 3 new games to play when I had none left that I hadn't already completed. Clearly Anthony Burch is a master of timing. I bet he got those skills from Braid. Anyway as for impressions, I've played Quantum Of Solace for a few hours now and it's actually pretty fun no thanks to the CoD4 engine. However it's criminally short. I only tried the tutorial level of Wario Land: Shake It but it seemed like a pretty decent platformer. As for Nights: Journey Of Dreams, I only put the disc in to see it worked as I'll play that and Wario Land once I've completed Quantum Of Solace. So thanks go to Anthony Burch for the games and Papa Burch for picking my shoop as the winning entry.