..than chronic masturbation. It's true. But at least no one gets to call my wrist a fatty.

I'm using Nintendo's magic wand-like pointing device to bring you my first blog post. Why you ask? I left my computer on so long my power supply burnt out and got all bubbly on me. Having no job works to the detriment of buying a new one so I get to give fatty an exercise until I move my ass away from my bed, out the door, and start applying somewhere. I've lurked amid the thorny bushes that surround destructoid until now, and as you can tell, I finally took the plunge, and ripped out an eye on the way in, but it should be fine eventually. I made this blog in the hopes that one day, Fatty, and myself, could entertain and enlighten the other fine citizens here at destructoid, because I get bored like that.

Congrats, Destructoid, on your inclusion into the seedy underworld of bomberman, and may you be an unsurpassed influence to all who might one day wish to destroy walls with explosive devices as I'm sure you'll enjoy upon release of the expansion.

I need to go get some sleep now, so I suppose I'll stop here. Thanks for allowing me the pleasure of wasting 5 minutes of my life, so that in return, I may waste 2 minutes of yours. Goodnight!