Citizens, patrons of Destructoid. Lovers of JOURNALISM. It is with a heavy heart and an empty belly that I must bring you this saddening update. After filling many a morning with joy and improving the pre-noon lives of bloggers everywhere, Dunkin Donuts has ...

DISCONTINUED the blueberry bagel.

How? Why? What in the buttcocking fuck? These are all questions you may be asking yourself right now, and I must admit that I share in your shock and grief. Fellow lovers of bagel sandwiches (and JOURNALISM), it appears to be true.

Nevermore will we partake in the delicious BLESSING FROM GOD HIMSELF that was the blueberry bagel with egg and cheese. Yes, this was possible. I myself enjoyed it as fuel for blogging, along with a large black iced coffee. Maybe some hash browns. Maybe a donut if I was feeling scrappy. BUT NO MORE.

Friends, I have today been reduced to eating my breakfast sammich like a peasant. On the most lowly bagel flavor of them all. Plain-ass.

This is truly a dark day.

THE PROUD FLAG OF BREAKFAST FLIES AT HALF MAST.

You will be sorely missed, blueberry bagel sammich. Let us honor the demise of this blogger's tradition with a moment of silence.

Let August 13th be forever remembered as blueberry bagel egg sammich day.

This is Geraldo Beedog, reporting from my plain-ass bagel breakfast for Destructoid.com.

Greetings, denizens of the internet. It is with a heavy heart that I must bestow upon you the shocking news that RetroforceGO! will be late again this week. After much VIGILANT INVESTIGATION, I have determined that a certain hosting service SUCKS, thusly making it impossible for the aforementioned podcast to be uploaded in a timely manner.

Geraldo Beedog is never one to speculate or draw his conclusions without substantial evidence, but there may also be a conspiracy involving Soviet Russia. Here's what we know so far:

1. As always, the handsome and talented Mr. Cantler finished producing the episode on time.
2. Said episode was to have been made available to the public at 2am Eastern time.
3. IT WASN'T.
4. Did you guys see the Faith No More reuinion show? Holy shit was that awesome.

Trust that Geraldo Beedog will surely get to the bottom of this, and you shall have your podcast no matter the cost. We must stand strong in the face of fuckety software, united. Using JOURNALISM to bring the truth into the light.

As consolation for the late podcast, and in honor of the reunion, please enjoy this photo of Mike Patton.

JOURNALISM.

After much rigorous INVESTIGATION, it has been determined by yours truly that this week's episode of RetroforceGO! is now an entire day LATE. As a JOURNALIST, it is my sworn duty to get to the bottom of this matter and UNRAVEL THE MYSTERY of WHY. Here's what we know so far:

1. Mr. Cantler, the show's producer, completed his work on the episode early Friday morning.
2. The aforementioned podcast was scheduled to be released the very same day.
3. It WASN'T.
4. We are out of popsicles.

Given these facts, I now make it my mission to shed light on this scandal and expose the truth. With JOURNALISM.

Enjoy this header image, which is of Mike Patton.

Onward. To JOURNALISM.

Hoy es Cinco de Mayo, y Senor Geraldo Beedog está listo para comenzar el partido. por favor tomar este
tiempo para disfrutar de su JOURNALISM y recordar a los beedogs que murieron para que esta gran fiesta.

FELIZ CINCO DE MAYO Y VIVA MIGUEL PATTON!

Greetings, lovers of JOURNALISM, and FRIDAY. Topher is busy replacing the kitchen faucet, and has asked
that I cover the FRIDAY blog in his place. Surely I have been chosen due to my CREDENTIALS and penchant
for JOURNALISM. Only a true and gifted JOURNALIST can take up the yoke of FRIDAY and carry the
community into a fine weekend.

May it be fine indeed, young FRIDAYers. Venture forth into the weekend, and let there be FRIDAY.

And MIKE PATTON.

And JOURNALISM.

FRIDAY!!

Hello there, public. I am Geraldo Beedog, and I have decided that it is about time I started my very own personal blog here at Destructoid.com. Please feel free to browse my sidebar, where I have included PHOTOGRAPHIC DEPICTIONS of wars that I have liveblogged in the past, thus proving my JOURNALISTIC CREDENTIALS. I hope to continue serving as your #1 source for HARD JOURNALISM. And also for JOURNALISM.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have scarab bites to treat. Thank you for reading.