In the spirit of the 32-bit Mario Galaxy, I present to you the 8-bit Katamari Damacy:

http://eightbitkatamaridamacy.ytmnd.com/

I'm 99% sure this hasn't been posted before.

No More Heroes was released in Canada just this week. This of course was a week later than our neighbours down south, a week I spent reading some of my favorite bloggers have a nerdgasm or two over it. Needless to say I picked it up the day it arrived with great anticipation.

For no particular reason, I thought I'd write up my experience with the first hour of the game Games For Lunch style. If you've never read Games For Lunch, Kyle Orland plays a new game for one hour every day, records the minutes of his playtime and rates the game based on whether or not he wants to keep playing it. It's an interesting format, and I thought it would be fun to emulate here.

In a nutshell: The spirit of Kill Bill in video game form

0:02 I had heard that the graphics were low quality, and that is indeed the case. I would liken them to first generation PS2 graphics. I guess I can't complain too much, my television is a CRT.

0:04 A choice between "Sweet" and "Mild" difficulty. With the hubris of an experienced gamer, I choose "Mild", the more difficult of the two.

0:05 The opening cinematic sets up the plot: you are Travis Touchdown, a young man who just recently became the 11th ranked assassin. Your goal is to become #1 by taking out the top ten.

0:06 As the game starts, you crash your way into a villa on your motorcycle, stopping only to take out security guards and toss off one liners. The violence and blood is really cartoonish and over the top. The tutorial begins in the villa's lobby.

0:07 Recharging your beam sword's energy with a wanking motion is awesome, even if you only waggle it back and forth in person.

0:12 You can attack with the A and B buttons, but perform various special moves by moving the Wiimote according to on-screen cues. For instance, you enter "weapon clash" when you and your enemy strike at the same time, and must rotate the Wiimote in the on-screen direction to win

0:13 Enemies killed with special moves explode with blood and coins.

0:15 Holding the Wiimote upwards puts you in a high stance and vice versa for a low stance. This seems to cause some animation clipping as you rapidly switch between the two when holding the Wiimote flat.

0:18 I just sliced a man in two from head to toe, intense.

0:20 I struck a group of enemies ineffectually numerous times before realizing that I needed to wank-recharge my beam sword.

0:21 Finished the tutorial, I can now move around in the villa.

0:22 Special moves cause a slot machine to appear on the bottom of the screen, and I just got 3 cherries. I have no idea what that means. I've also noticed an 8-bit tiger in the top right of my screen, I have no idea what that means either.

0:25 Just had a much longer fight with roughly a dozen guards. The motion controls are integrated extremely well; although the main swings are done with the buttons, I find myself constantly moving the Wiimote to complete various special moves. I also got two 3x cherries again in that fight, I think it does something to slow down time.

0:27 I got two 777s in a row, and now have two red sevens in the bottom left of my screen.

0:31 The beam katana can deflect bullets, lightsaber style.

0:35 Walking down a long corridor, I hear a cellphone ringing. I press the A button to answer it, and start hearing a voice coming out of the Wiimote speaker. You're supposed to hold the Wiimote up to your ear, as if you were listening to the cell phone call yourself. My mind is blown, what an awesome idea.

0:36 Found a note attached to a wrestling mask: "Do you remember those golden days in Calgary?" Whoah, random Canadiana. Apparently Travis learned wrestling there, as I just learned a new suplex.

0:38 I save the game by going to the bathroom.

0:40 I've made it to my target, the #10 ranked assassin named Holy Sword. He's rich, has bright red hair and is covered in Samoan tattoos. We verbally spar for a minute, and he pulls out a sword so large it would make Cloud Strife jealous. It's game time.

0:42 Travis soliloquizes throughout the fight about how great it would be to be rich and famous.

0:45 I have defeated Holy Sword. Once again I ran out of beam sword power during the fight and didn't notice.

0:48 I'm shown a great 8-bit graphic as I take Holy Sword's place as the #10 assassin.

0:50 Another bathroom save point, this seems like a logical place to end the review.

Would I play this game for more than an hour? Yes
Why? Great Wiimote controls and a unique visual style, Suda 51 has created something truly memorable.

This was a post I wrote up for my own blog The Quixotic Engineer, but I thought you guys might enjoy it. I also wanted to promote No More Heroes for those who were still ambivalent about checking it out.

From the moment it was announced way back in November, I knew I had to get my hands on a Weighted Companion Cube Plush. Portal is one of the best games I've ever played, so I was eager to have a version of the WCC that I didn't have to euthanize.

However, it appears that Valve has decided to cancel Christmas in Canada this year. While proceeding to the checkout with my Weighted Companion Cube and Aperture Laboratories Coffee Mug in hand, I was blindsided by five cruel words: Shipment to U.S. Addresses Only. Heartbroken, I put the items back on the virtual shelf.

Valve: even though you broke my heart (and killed me), you're still one of my favorite game developers. Your support for the mod community is commendable, as is the fact that you've remained independent and keep making terrific games. That being said, not shipping outside of the U.S. is massively uncool, especially considering that your games are enjoyed worldwide.

So, fellow non-Americans, it's time to get proactive. I'm going to urge you to e-mail the Valve store (store@valvesoftware.com) and let them know that you're interested in purchasing from them but do not live in the U.S.A. If they see that there's enough international interest in their products, they may consider revising their exclusionist shipping policies.

UPDATE: After some additional investigation, it turns out that the shipment page is lying. They *do* ship internationally, but it costs a whopping $27.