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GamingGoddess avatar 7:32 PM on 03.17.2009
Lightning Warrior Raidy: Yeah, it's Kinda Porn


Yes, this is a game: This is a game that I am playing. Censored in case of young 'uns.

As some of you may know, I have been known to like a good dungeon crawler. Actually, I have been known to also like mediocre, lukewarm, barely adequate, and downright vile dungeon crawlers; it appears to be a character flaw.

So when I first saw ads for "Lightning Warrior Raidy", an old-school dungeon crawler with hentai artwork, I commented to my boyfriend that it would be pretty funny if I was simultaneously disgusted by it, yet compelled to play due to my unconditional love for the genre. Being Wilson, the most awesome boyfriend ever, he made it possible for me to see if this was the case. Now, after having played for a few hours, I am in the slightly uncomfortable position of needing to blog about an erotic game, for which I am SO NOT the target audience, but it seems like it would just be a waste not to.

Pointless, Yet Novel

I really don't know much from hentai or erotica in general-- this is not a statement of virtue. I'm sure if I was interested, I would download it, or whatever it is people supposedly do. It's just that, as this entry demonstrates, I'm so thoroughly repressed (thanks Mom and Dad!) that I have to be reminded that the concept of sex actually exists, let alone that I'm supposed to care. So I'm probably not a good judge of this sort of thing, but my guess is that LWR is neither good hentai, or a particularly good dungeon crawler: If you want hentai, I'm sure you can find plenty of it without subjecting yourself to tedious gameplay, and if you like dungeon-crawlers, there are probably about 50 titles on the Nintendo DS that are calling to you like so many irresistible Syrins as we speak.

However, I couldn't in good conscience say that the title isn't entertaining. While it's very basic (think Etrian Odyssey without the mapping features), the actual gameplay is solid enough, and the artwork is attractive. Instead of monsters, your enemies are primarily anime girls dressed up to look like monsters, and the adult content aside, that's interesting from a design perspective: When I see "Weretiger attacks!", I'm curious to see what the character's design is going to look like. I found myself curious to move to the next floor just to see what the new crop of baddies looked like.

The main event in the game is making it to the boss on each floor, and seeing two sequences: If you win, Raidy 'punishes' the boss, and if you lose you get a different sequence showing Raidy being punished herself before you see the game over screen (I believe the advertisement said, "Even when you lose, you win!") Personally I found the "punishment" scenes more humorous in a twisted sort of way than at all sexy, but it was still cool to get to see both versions of the scene-- especially because the winning version involves Raidy gloating for a bit. Seriously, I want more games to give you the option of gloating over your enemy after you defeat them-- it just seems natural. I might be a bad human being.


Fon-Fon is torturing the poor village girls! Don't worry, I showed her.

For Fans of Dungeons ONLY

I've said that the gameplay is adequate, but only for fans of dungeon crawlers who have a high threshold for tedium-- newbies to the genre should stay far away from this. All the rooms look the same, and you can't see treasure until you walk over it and get a text prompt- there is no graphic for it on the field map. Furthermore, you don't get a map for each floor until you randomly find one, meaning you can easily find yourself walking around in circles looking for the stupid map. You can go truly old-school and draw your own maps, but the existence of false walls and teleporters makes the process far more difficult and annoying than it should be. Fortunately, some kindly soul has provided maps on GameFaqs, which makes things a helluva lot easier.

There is no weapon or character customization, so there isn't much more to say about the gameplay. I would be really interested in seeing if someone could make a competitive, high-quality title in the genre that just happens to have erotic content, rather than using the sex to prop up an otherwise bare-bones product. It's theoretically possible that this title exists and simply isn't available in English, but just be aware that LWR is not that game.

Miscellaneous:

The voice work is all in Japanese, which is fine with me because I think having to listen to bad English voice acting would make the experience about five times more embarrassing than it already is. Also, they give you about a billion save slots-- presumably so you can save before every cutscene and boss encounter. Handy.

Overall:

I'm a couple of floors into the tower, and I'll probably end up finishing it just to see how insane the monsters on the final floor look like. Then, I'll uninstall it, go back to playing Chrono Trigger DS, and we'll all pretend this NEVER HAPPENED.

...Well, at least until Lightning Warrior Raidy II comes out...crap.

Tagged:    boobies    cblog  

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