Processing Power
What you may not know is that the Destructoid servers don't have REAL processing power. What most people don't realize is that the Destructoid server is, in fact, a Commodore 64.



Yes, that means that the Destructoid servers can not run Crysis. As we all know, Crysis is the benchmark in which all computers are judged, and if it is inadequate of running this magnificent game, then the system is junk. This means that the Destructoid servers are junk. What you may also not know is that the Destructoid robot is, in fact, made from a refurbished Atari 2600.


Those systems cannot run the complex physix calculations required for true journalizing, If they tried, they would like explode or something.


Jim Sterling
As we all know, Jim Sterling is worse then aids, cancer, and comic sans combined, and his scourge ruins anything he touches. It wouldn't be so bad if he wasn't both a blatant Sony/Microsoft fanboy. Unfortunatly, he is still part of this site, meaning that the entire site is now full of bias. As we all know, true Journalizing cannot be near bias, so that means that Destructoid is not journalism.

Destructoid is bad for serious journalizing
Yes, Destructoid makes Kotaku, Ign, Game Trailers, and all the other legit game journalizings look bad. This makes video games look bad, thusly making art look bad. Art is something you buy when you are at museums, which means that it makes them look bad. People write about museums, making journalizing look bad. That is a vicious cycle that we must break.

Destructoid is not the same market as other journalizings.
Destructoid goes after a different market then other journalizings. This market must be inharetly worse then the other market. I do not want to identify myself with this market, so I will not grace it with the title of journalism.

Destructoid has men writers who pose as women
As we all know, there are no such things as women on the internet. It is a scientific fact that all women are the internet are actually men. This means that some of the Destructoid staff are lieing to us. Journalism cannot stand by lies, meaning that Destructoid is not journalism.

BEHOLD, THE TRUTH

Disclaimer: I wrote this when I was tired. I cannot be held responsible for the fail that I have created at this late hour. Please forgive this blog.