Lately I've noticed something as I've grown I've become more and more appreciative of the dedication of making and playing video games. I've never been the best at doing either of these, extremely lucky at times, yes, but far from being one of those go to players that keep the team up during a Halo match. As I look towards my future the more I want to be involved in the field I find myself obsessing over news in the industry. Drooling like a rabid dog with a bladder problem over any news that involves anything. I find it fascinating.



However, the problem with this is the fact that my friends don't have the same appreciation for how beautiful I consider Enslaved, or Shadow of the Colossus to name a couple. They sit there and scuff and snicker at the thought of enjoying a game that you cannot customize the barrel of a .45. Conversations with them always lead to more guns, and I know very little I just know how to shoot and a limited amount of models other than that I'm clueless. I sit completely blanked out and find it hard to ask them just to play a different game, say Left 4 Dead, because they don't give customizable weapons and Call of Duty or Battlefield, do to an extent. So, it leads back to those games at all times. I find myself falling away from alot of my close friends due to my attraction to different games, and hobbies in general, and it's rather upsetting. I'm sure some of you have had similar problems. It seems to be extremely rare to find people in real life who enjoy discussing and analyzing video games such as myself since most of the time people who do tend to keep to themselves, as do I. Also, I have the problem, in case you can't tell, I'm not very good at structuring a well thought out blog so it makes it very hard to convey ideas on any site, I'll comment here and there, but still It's pretty bad. (any tips and constructive criticism is appreciated).



No matter how much I suck at a game, here's looking at you Ninja Gaiden and Meat Boy, I still find some sort of redeeming quality that makes it worth my while. I hate to sound like a hippy out of fear for Eric Cartman's wrath but I think it's safe to assume that I love all games (other than the rehashed game franchises i.e. Call of Duty, Guitar Hero, etc.). My friends typically never give a game the same chance that I do. They just sit there and ignore and comments I make about a new game that I played, which I thought was great and well done, and move on to talk about their gun collection. I guess I'm starting to feel left out I mean I've known this particular group of friends since high school and now being 20 it seems like they've all taken a turn for more "manly" activities. Maybe I'm too emotional, or to condescending with my attitude I don't try to be I try to just be me, witty, nervous, quiet, and occasionally rambunctious. I just want to have fun with what I'm playing not fall into the same game over and over and have some new challenge to justify memorizing the small map and using a new gun. It gets tiresome and frustrating for me, I typically end up finding it more fun to find funny ways of killing my character at that point.

So, as I find myself drifting apart from close friends and pathetically attempting to make new ones. I find myself at an impasse I still love collecting and playing video games and I find myself desperately wanting to find a career based around the gaming world later in life, after I finish my bachelor's in computer science of course. I, however, can't find an interest or even see why so many people love their firearm as if they were a pet that needs grooming after every recreational use. So, after my pity party blog, it feels better to have finally written/typed something legitimate on the site other than some sarcastic comment. No matter how short it was. Now if you'll excuse me I'm off to play Kingdom Hearts again since I found it for $5 at Blockbuster.


I've never seen Star Trek but I thought this was suiting.