My Xbox 360 recently fell prey to the natural disaster known informally as ‘The Red Ring of Death.’ I consider myself lucky; I’ve owned my ‘box for a year now, and this is the first time it has failed. In its absence, I came up with five ways to stay entertained through this harrowing time.

1. Beating Pokemon Blue using only a Metapod- Without Master Chief to tuck me in at night, I turned to a staple videogame monolith: Pokemon Blue. My accomplishment could be considered a tough road that only a hardened veteran could outlast, but compared to trying to have sex while watching ‘Schindler’s List,’ it was a breeze.



2.Trying to Play ESPN- “Hit X Reggie Wayne! HIT X!!!! Dammit! This controller has to be faulty. I cannot play under these conditions, and… great, I just let the Lions score. That’s like having fun while playing PS3: [img="http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Oxymoron/ps3-sucks-92756.phtml"]impossible[/a]. Damn these graphics are good though…”



3. Chronic Weeping- Pity parties can be a rollicking good time. Just grab a bag of Funions, your 360’s left over hard drive, and Bioshock’s soundtrack. You’re set for a night of tears, bad breath, and nightmares. [Editors note – I though chronic was supposed to solve problems like this?]

4.Steak n’ Shake Pepper Eating Contests- You know the hot sauce bottles filled with peppers that sit on all Steak n’ Shake tables? Try eating as many of those as you can in a minute. The emergency room is looking awfully lonely.



5. Plummeting GPA- Paradoxical? Your guess is as good as mine.


For all the people that were hit with the Red Ring of Death, what did you wind up doing in the meantime?

--Ryan "Pizzajam" P

The MMO genre has steadily become less and less free since the forefathers and pioneers of popular mainstream online RPGs like Ultima Online and Everquest. While there were others before UO and EQ, nothing brought MMOs to popularity and mainstream attention like Richard Garriot's masterpiece Ultima Online and the myriad of controversial news stories about addiction in Everquest. This was the golden age of online gaming, where developers were unafraid to try new things and build mature worlds where anything was possible.

Ultima Online, even more than 10 years after its release still stands as one of the most limitless online experiences available; the world truly felt like a living place and every corner of the world could be interacted with. Players could mine at any mountain side, chop down any tree, build a house anywhere in the world. We could make careers out of crafting, interior decorating, storytelling... the world supported every playstyle and made it viable and exciting. To this day, my fondest gaming memories involve venturing out into the wilderness in Ultima Online, exploring the world and encountering monsters - which were much rarer than in any current MMO. Coming across a troll in the forest came with a sense of exhilaration and turned each fight into something exciting and not a continuous grind as today's MMOs revolve around. Every adventure then filled us with a sense of purpose, a fresh twist of events, and a feeling of danger that kept every day full of purposeful content and meaningful interactions between players.

Along the same lines, Ultima Online's death penalty (and Everquest's for that matter) was harsh but truly the best way to go. Sure, it was frustrating to lose your armor and everything you were carrying, but the fact that armor and weapons were not something you have to spend 90 hours in a raid to even have a chance to get allows for a truly player-driven economy to be established. Crafters actually had a purpose here, supplying armor and weapons to players with endless demand. This again allows all types of players to play the game however they want, and helps to build a sense of community that is seldom seen today. Not since Star Wars Galaxy has such a player-driven economy really existed.

The PVP system in UO was also always exhilarating mainly driven by the full-loot system. Player Killers, or PKs, would have free reign along the countrysides, making every encounter and journey fill you with a legitimate adrenaline rush. Because you could be killed or stolen from anywhere and by anyone really, this forced players to be accountable for their actions and not act like a brat like many in current MMOs communities are. The community as a result policed themselves and forced maturity across the board. It also made for great guild vs. guild clashes, where there were true grudges between players and the battles held a great weight and impact on the world itself unlike current Battlegrounds and casual, meaningless PVP.

So what does this have to do with World of Warcraft and the death of MMOs? And why should you listen to a nostalgic UO player? Because World of Warcraft has been the leading culprit in dumbing down the genre to make it easy enough, linear enough, and casual enough for the new player to enjoy and for the mainstream audience who has never heard of an MMO before to hop in and enjoy. Now, this isn't necessarily bad. This is definitely elitism in its finest, and there is no reason why everybody shouldn't be able to enjoy MMOs be it a newb or a veteran. But the soaring popularity of World of Warcraft has pigeonholed the entire industry into creating clones in order to be successful. To most of its players, World of Warcraft is their first experience with an MMO; they know nothing else before it and don't understand the glitchiness and lack of content issues that come standard with MMO launches. Truly, most of them weren't even around to witness World of Warcraft's incredibly rocky launch full server failures and class imbalances. Thus, if a new MMO doesn't captivate them and incredibly impress them within the first 20 minutes, comparisons are instantly drawn to World of Warcraft, and any new game is written off as either "not as good as WoW" or trying to copy something about WoW. World of Warcraft is nothing groundbreaking in itself however; it simply took what was popular about prior MMOs and made it easier and dangled more carrots in front of its players face to addict them to leveling and getting gear. It just came along at the right time when online gaming and broadband internet and cheaper computers were becoming more available, and created the perfect storm of sorts. And now, any competing MMO without billions of dollars and years of development simply has no chance. WoW's players immediately compare their game that has been out and accumulating content for over 4 years now against games that have not even been out for a month. There is simply no chance for comparison, and WoW crushes competition not because it is the better game, but it has had the most time and money for polish and fan following.

The point of this giant rant is a sad reflection on how games like Ultima Online, even 10 years ago, provided infinite amounts more freedom and chance for unique gameplay and games like World of Warcraft have compressed the possibilities of playstyles and made only raiding for hours on end or grinding the same Battleground over and over the only avenue for progression. Crafting for example is no longer a dedicated profession full of meaning, but an empty side quest without much meaning in the community or economy that everyone is capable of-assuming they are willing to click the "create" button enough thousands of times.

PVP and PVE has lost the rush of excitement and danger, where every encounter becomes the same. There is no meaning or true connections between players aside from progressing in a raid dungeon, and the only way to better your character eventually becomes reliant on grinding for hours in a raid dungeon every night. Gone is the freedom to play the game however you want, perhaps without ever fighting a monster and succeeding as a carpenter or thief. Gone is the accountability to be a good person, the choice to be a murderer, and the consequences that come with every action. The current state of the MMO industry is making everything easy, carebear, and a meaningless grind with an infinite treadmill of gear-upgrading every few months where your hundreds of hours become null and void the second a weapon with 2 more Strength than your current one is patched in.

And the sad part is, nothing can compete and overtake World of Warcraft without adhering to these new standards of the industry that Blizzard has set with its popularity. Everything that made MMOs great has been diluted, and I fear for the future of the genre that continues to shift towards resorting to clones of an already watered down game. Ultima Online died as it began to cater to it's "casual," "carebear" audience and now, struggling to keep up with games like World of Warcraft, is virtually unrecognizable from its original form. World of Warcraft has created a monopoly and an industry that is now impossible to compete in, and unfortunately will eventually collapse on itself whenever people are able to lure themselves away from the game, as in the end, World of Warcraft is the only thing that will be able to kill itself.


-Scott "Riot" Underwood

Midway, the studio that brought us Mortal Kombat, NFL Blitz and NBA Jams is in the shitter right now. They have been in financial trouble for years, and are currently borrowing 40 million dollars to back their 3 releases for this year, the most anticipated release being Mortal Kombat. This one’s going to be a little different though. It’s not only Mortal Kombat this time… It’s “Mortal Kombat vs. D.C. Universe” Pretty cool but weird right? So as of late there has been some controversy behind this new Midway title.

Because of Midway’s financial burdens they are making this title a teen rating to squeeze every penny they can out of this game. Now is it may be just me I remember when the first Mortal Kombat game came out, and those suckers flew off the shelves That game was so hard to find BECAUSE of it’s violence. Midway was the Christopher Columbus of violence in video games, and people were buying a Sega Genesis just so they could have the chance to get their hands on a copy of Mortal Kombat. Now the once unprecedented powerhouse that was Midway is now turning a game that should obviously be mature into a “teen” game. Now at the center of this controversy is the Joker Fatality, which has subsequently been scrapped because it did not pass as a “teen” fatality.

Now after looking at this freaking sweet fatality here’s what I think about Midway’s decision. The Joker head-shot is awesome, and now I am undoubtedly sure that the game has some other pretty cool fatalities that have made it passed the teen rating (or maybe not…). I bet they look great, and are somewhat violent, and that you are nonetheless excited about the title’s release, but you are trying to revitalize a franchise and bring a production company back from the dead. It’s not now that you make a violent game that adults love to play into a teen game that will probably make “Tekken” look mature. That’s not what you do when you’re in this kind of a bind. You guys (Midway) are in trouble. You aren’t Squaresoft… this isn’t going to be your Final Fantasy, but it does have the potential to be good. Everything you’re trying to do takes big balls. Not a fleshy patch where your balls used to be. Get growing Midway.


--Kyle S

If you are a Warhammer Online player and were anticipating the games release, you probably weren't too pleased to hear about the removal of the Dark Elf Black Guard and the Empire Knight of the Blazing Sun. Well today Mythic announced that they will be returning the two classes sometime this winter. Here are some descriptions given for the classes:

"The Knights of the Blazing Sun are devoted to the cult of Myrmidia, goddess of warfare and protector of civilization. These frontline combatants specialize in Battlefield Commands, using applied tactical knowledge to outmaneuver their enemies and lead their allies to victory.

The Dark Elf Black Guard, on the other hand, care little for tactics or guile. The embodiment of hatred and disdain, they make up the elite of the Witch King’s soldiers. Equipped with the finest armor and sharpest blades, the Black Guard is an indestructible wall of hate against which all foes are crushed."

I’m looking forward to playing a Black Guard, not necessarily looking forward to being knocked back by a Knight though. If you play WAR, you know what I mean by that.The image didn't come out as well as I had hoped, the guy on the right is saying 'And you wonder why you were removed.' I saw the image online, figure I'd throw it in.

-Ryan

Via Game Press

With Left 4 Dead's release looming over, I figured I'd post a top ten things to have during a zombie apocalypse. Keep in mind, this is the top ten THINGS to have, not top ten weapons. Who the hell can carry ten weapons during a zombie apocalypse? That list later...? Probably not.


10. Food



Canned preferably. I know it sounds strange it being at the bottom of the list, but there are far more important things to consider having. Food should be scavenged for, not necessarily always present with you.


9. A dirt bike or motorcycle



Sounds crazy, I know. I'd probably prefer a car or truck of some kind, maybe if there were more than just me. However, the off road capability and fact you can move it while it's off make it a little more worth while having. At least as far as wheels go. It's also probably a little more easily to maneuver given the situation. The only downside: getting knocked off. If you get knocked off your bike, you are pretty much done. If you are trapped in your car with zombies all around, you are done either way. That's just a little more slower and terrifying.

8. A Riot Shotgun, with Side attachments and Ammo



If you can get your hands on one, this would be more ideal than an assault rifle. It's all about stopping power and in close quarters that helps. You could hit more than one person with it and maybe take off some limbs. If you can get a flashlight attachment for it that just boosts it's value. It can be strapped to your back or side for ease of carrying. And if it's a zombocalypse, it might just be within reason to find.


7. Nightvision Goggles



This is probably my most far fetched item on the list. I was told you could find them at hunting shops, so I figured I'd put it in the list. After you find them, it's a matter of batteries, which shouldn't be too difficult. This was originally a flashlight, but I believe if you can find these, you are set at night. They don't produce any outwardly noticeable light and you can just wear them on your head during the day.

6. Flint and Steel



It will be crucial to be able to make a fire. You won't be able to count on lighters and even less on matches. Either way, flint and steel will last you longer. If you can find those other things, that's just a bonus.

5. Backpack



Pretty self explanatory. You need to have something to carry your crap in. That's probably your best bet.

4. Bottled Water



You can survive longer on just water than food with no water. The fact it's a zombie apocalypse probably escalates that fact substantially. I wouldn't say carry so much that it weighs you down. But carry enough of it and maybe hide however much you can to come back for if you need to.

3. Glock 17 or Glock variant & Ammo



I'm not saying I'm a glock fan. More of a beretta kind of guy. Though, in a zombocalypse my gun of choice would be the glock. It's relatively easy to find, most of the police I've seen carry a variant. Though I'm sure it depends on where you are. The ammo is a common type, 9mm. It has a great clip capacity at 17-19 rounds depending on if you have the extension. You can mount a flashlight or laser sight to it. It's very durable and light to carry. It may not have the stopping power of some bigger hand guns but it's other qualities out weigh that. Besides, it's all about head shots with a hand gun and zombies. Stopping power would be your main fire arm, if you have one. Such as the afore mentioned shotgun.


2. Medical kit of some kind



Either first aid, or what have you. Patching up cuts that could be infected isa priority. Also having a head ache during a zombie apocalypse would suck ass. I wouldn't suggest hijacking an ambulance, but maybe just looting it.

aaannnnnddddd.....

1. Crowbar



If I'm going down, I'm going down dignified and swinging a crowbar! Iwould say this is probably the most ideal item you can have on you. It's a blunt and slashing weapon. You can break in to buildings with it. It won't jam on you like a gun can. You don't have to give it gas. It can be found at any hardware store or janitors closet probably. It's just an all around handy thing to have around.


That's my ten. Put up your additions/revisions to the list in the comments.

-Ryan

I can't say that I'm a huge fan of Tom Clancy. I mean, from what I have seen, he'll
put his name on just about any game ever produced. Tom Clancy's NFL 2020, Tom Clancy's
Nintendogs of War. Final Fantasy Clancy. Hello Clancy Island Adventure. The list goes on, if
you can think of any, comment them.

Tom Clancy's End War is an RTS involving future World War III and oil. Such a
platform for a video game has never been heard of before! In a nut shell, the US and
Britain develop a treaty called SLAMS which can only be a play off the missile defense
program STAR WARS because there isn't any other reason to have such a hilarious name.
This leads to Russia going crazy, and then Iran nukes Saudi Arabia, neither of which came
up with catchy missile defense treaties and perished. Then there is a big fight over oil
because Russia is the only one left with it. Then the US sends a space station into space
with marines in it. Russia and Europe get pissed, Nato does nothing, and Switzerland stays
neutral. From there on out everything goes more southward and disconnected. That's the
premise I read for the game anyway, not sure about the book.

Now! On to the game play. Well the game hasn't come out yet but I can already
anticipate an issue with it. RTS's were not made for consoles. Also, giving voice commands
to AI troops has far too many ways to fail. You can think and click faster than you can
think, look, say, have it not register, break your mic, and lose. I can't actually see a zerg
style rush happening in this game and if you know anything about RTS multiplayer like
Warcraft III or Starcraft, you know speed is essential. I don't have time for this game to sit
around and wait to register the words I said and then act.

This isn't a problem in single player, of course. However, if the game is going around
saying it's a possible MMORTS. Well, now that's a problem.

What happens if I say something in between a command or don’t complete a
command before starting another? If I say “Foxtrot go F@#$%&* kill someone!” Well of
course it won’t register that, it can’t understand a bunch of symbols. But I’m supposed to be
a general damnit! They should listen to my every word and obey.

Maybe I’m being too harsh here. Maybe Tom Clancy’s End War will be the best
MMORTS console game ever made. Either way, I’m not throwing down money for it.

-Ryan