My Xbox 360 recently fell prey to the natural disaster known informally as ‘The Red Ring of Death.’ I consider myself lucky; I’ve owned my ‘box for a year now, and this is the first time it has failed. In its absence, I came up with five ways to stay entertained through this harrowing time.

1. Beating Pokemon Blue using only a Metapod- Without Master Chief to tuck me in at night, I turned to a staple videogame monolith: Pokemon Blue. My accomplishment could be considered a tough road that only a hardened veteran could outlast, but compared to trying to have sex while watching ‘Schindler’s List,’ it was a breeze.



2.Trying to Play ESPN- “Hit X Reggie Wayne! HIT X!!!! Dammit! This controller has to be faulty. I cannot play under these conditions, and… great, I just let the Lions score. That’s like having fun while playing PS3: [img="http://www.destructoid.com/blogs/Oxymoron/ps3-sucks-92756.phtml"]impossible[/a]. Damn these graphics are good though…”



3. Chronic Weeping- Pity parties can be a rollicking good time. Just grab a bag of Funions, your 360’s left over hard drive, and Bioshock’s soundtrack. You’re set for a night of tears, bad breath, and nightmares. [Editors note – I though chronic was supposed to solve problems like this?]

4.Steak n’ Shake Pepper Eating Contests- You know the hot sauce bottles filled with peppers that sit on all Steak n’ Shake tables? Try eating as many of those as you can in a minute. The emergency room is looking awfully lonely.



5. Plummeting GPA- Paradoxical? Your guess is as good as mine.


For all the people that were hit with the Red Ring of Death, what did you wind up doing in the meantime?

--Ryan "Pizzajam" P