It is 2011 and I still see frequent blogs and articles of how to get that girlfriend or wife of yours into
video games. Guys want to find ways to coax their girls into a passion for their hobby. Publishers
try to scheme up ways to tap into the female market by infusing more pink sparkles into their
titles. This is a call to all the boys to grow up, and get a handle that women are actually people.
Most humans cannot be defined and figured out so flippantly.
Here are my 4 points.
1. Evidence by Anecdote:
Iím not going to cite statistics, but I will speak from personal experience. I play a lot of games,
and talk about playing games with friends. My circle of gaming friends consists of maybe 10-12
people. And guess what? I would estimate 80% of them are female. Iím talking hard core gamers.
In fact the girls that I talk about games with are way more hard core than almost all of the guys I
On my own podcast most of my guests have been female. This is not some scheme I came up
with to get more men to listen to my show. The more people I meet that are into video games
just so happen to be women.
2. The Shoebox Doesnít Fit:
These are women who play games are intelligent adults that engage in our everyday society. They
donít act like media whores akin to Jessica Chobot, Olivia Munn, and countless other sites that
use their female forms to solicit attention in the video game industry. Nor are these friends of
mine obese, shut-in goblins. These are people that you could talk to and not have any idea that
they love video games, because the stereotypes donít match.
"Check me out. I play video games"
"Hey I play games too. Isn't that hot?"
"There's more where that came from"
Well what do they play you ask? Animal Crossing? The Sims? LEGO Harry Potter? Yes,
actually. But they also play BioShock, Fallout, Mass Effect, Assassinís Creed, Dead Space,
Crysis, etc. hmm. That sounds like a list of man games. Shockingly we may find that girls simply
like quality games, and can't be bought off with some cute mascots or cooking games. Then
again, maybe they like those games.
Iíll push my point further. I donít like military games. I donít like Gears of War or God of War
franchises for the barrage of hyper-machismo, dude-bro, misogyny, bulbous muscles, guts, and
dangerously high levels of testosterone thrown at me. Now what if I did not like playing video
games, but my wife did. She thinks, ďHeís a man, he should like this God of War gameĒ. I play it,
and put it down, thinking ďif thatís a video game then Iíll just go read a book, thank you.Ē However,
if she sat me down to play Flower, I may just melt in bliss and be converted forever.
The male/female dichotomy is not so binary. The market may tell me that I should like God of
War, but I donít. I prefer Flower. People have specific preferences. Everyoneís preferences are
nuanced - girls and guys alike.
I am male, and I'm not interested in playing this game.
3. The Mind of Man:
Some women love video games just as much as any male. They can enjoy stories, characters,
have a good understanding of physics and design. Sometimes I think men have subconscious
thoughts that the female mind can't appreciate these things like we can. We've grown up playing
games in tight male confines that it's still a mental hurdle to get beyond.
Unfortunately, I believe that a lot of men retain a juvenile fantasy that they can spend all day
playing a video games, not socializing, then turn around and some hot girl will faun over them.
So if there is a girl gamer in their life, they can cut out one hurdle of human interaction. Sorry, but
relationships can take some effort. Itís probably why those cute female bloggers immediately get
50 comments when most guys only get a few responses. There is a secret urge that the female
will notice him, thus appeasing their ego momentarily. Itís a sad attempt for the boy-gamer to find
one immediate connection to an attractive female to latch onto.
4. Deep Gameplay Does Not Equate to Deep Relationships::
The gamer who is trying to convert their girl should check their motivations. Why does anyone
want their girl to enjoy the gaming hobby so much? Would playing video games together be a
truly bonding experience that deepens their love for each other? That would be a pretty ambitious
hope for video games. My wife does not play video games (Rock Band being the exception).
Therefore, we find other ways to spend time together. I know having a similar interest can be
exciting, but there are other more meaningful ways to connect with your loved one.
You don't want to piss off FemShep.
Men, please get a grip on the reality that a large minority of gamers are women, and are not an
anomaly or an immature fantasy fulfilled. Women, please be a healthy part of the gaming
community with intelligence and heart instead of employing cheap methods as a way to get
Can we also just accept the fact that some people do not like video games period? One of those
people might happen to be your girlfriend or wife. If so, do something with her that she will
actually enjoy instead. Take her out to the ballet. Girls like the ballet right?