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I enjoy swearing, games, gratuitous violence, violent and crazy music, medication and energy drinks. So yup.
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Futuris7
10:57 PM on 11.03.2007

With enough Bawls and Doritos in my system to give even the most hardcore motherfucker a stomach ache, I present to you what all the willy nilly is going on with me.

First meal of the night, Manhunt 2.

Rockstar's newest tour de force of artistic expression-or just a fucking murder simulator-has been a real let down from what I've read among the gamer community. The game has been censored, seemingly rushed, and plays just like archaic 4 year old stealth game. The Reverand hates it, parents hate it, CBS hates it and Zack and Wiki apparently pisses all over it like the inmate you encounter early on.

The honest to god truth is that a lot of fans of Manhunt-including myself- know this and won't try to argue with any elitist motherfucker who could innovate the industry like he was Christ himself. We just want to kill. Those Christ's of gaming know this too, or at least, they better understand this. I don't think games like Manhunt desensitize violence, I think rap music and Pepsi did that. Manhunt is a game that gives an outlet of release, much like jerking off naked in a completely open field. It's essentially a game made for the niche market of people who enjoy crap like:

Doritos


Bawls


Sex


This kind of shit


Normally I stick to empirical statistics when pointing out things, but for this one I think I'll wing it. My intuition leads me to believe that 95% of the general American population does in fact enjoy crap like Manhunt 2. Much like we have oodles of closet gamers out there, there exists a demographic that wholeheartedly enjoys taking a band saw to someones spine for no reason due to a completely disjointed and irrelevant story.

So to cut out the filler that could support whatever argument I am trying to persuade you with, I will poignantly state what I wrote this for. If you want to try out Manhunt 2, but are afraid that the censorship kills it, it doesn't revolutionize anything, or just fucking sucks, heed my rambles!

Actually, fuck it. Just buy it. It's only $30 and on the ps2 version I can make out everything going in the executions, therefore you can too. Oh yeah, listen to Starsailor's "Way to Fall" while you play the game. It just fits like a glove.

Now for Ratchet and Clank...

JESUS MOTHERFUCKING CHRIST!!! THE LOMBAX HAS INFILTRATED OUR DEFENSES!!!! OH GOD, NOW IT'S TAKING OUT GUNSHIPS! DAMMIT! THE LOMBAX MUST NOT ESCAPE!! FUCKING BALLS! THE LOMBAX IS HERE! STOP LOMBAX!! STOP RIGHT NOW! OH FUCK! THE LOMBAX IS FUCKING MY WIFE WITH A LAMBSKIN CONDOM

Why Insomniac thought it was a generally good idea to include an omniscient voice in each level declaring your location every 3 seconds is beyond me. Besides that extremely annoying addition, I'm content with this edition of one of my favorite series. The writing seems to be lacking and the story feels really rushed, but it's still fun to keep going.

Zack and Wiki is also getting playtime. It's cool and just generally a fun time with your Wii. I'm really liking this system more and more now.

I'm out of Doritos and Bawls so my time is up. Later.



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