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Hey! Turn the lights down, I have something serious to say about videogames and chairs. 2.0
Futuris7 | 9:14 PM on 10.09.2007 6 comments


(First time I tried to post this it didn't go live. So i'm trying again and if we get a double wammy I'm sorry and no I'm not trying to be an attention whore. Thank You.)


Today I can now consider myself a proud owner of a no name brand reclining chair courtesy of Aaron's Discount Furniture! It's puke green and has a coffee stain but that can't stop it from being the most comfiest thing I've ever parked my ass in. It's true that it was likely made on an assembly line by Chinese workers who will never likely feel the comfort they are crafting themselves, however I don't care; this chair was designed for me personally.

The cushion texture works with my buttocks, the poorly stitched side pockets are enormous the likes I have never really needed before, and it is appropriately spaced for a huge variety of lounging postures! Think about it! I can actually lounge creatively like Van Gogh probably did before he started eating paint! It also came with a separate ottoman which works as a great accessory to put my feet up on. In short, for what I paid for it, I can now game like a two dollar whore on a five hundred dollar night! In other words, immensely happy!

See, I wasn't really looking to upgrade my gaming chair at all. I was originally content with an assembled plastic chair that has taken quite a beating over the last five or seven years I've had it. Sure it had some seman stains all over it and yeah, it was crocked at a 70 degree angle due to massive leanbacks of leisure, but I could game intensively and effectively on it for sure. But today I was out doing some errands and nonchalantly decided to check out a furniture store if only to steal some pillows to make out with.

So I saw the chair and decided to park my butt in it while waiting for the salesmen to look away from the pillows. Right there I had a fucking epiphany! I was like, "Goddamn!" "This chair is wicked comfy" I checked the tag and saw that the asking price which was ridiculously low since I was at a discount store. With an impulse decision only a hyperactive child could make with such impunity, I used the debit card and somehow managed to fit the damn thing in the back of a Toyota sedan.

While sitting in the chair at the store, I realized how important comfort was to a gaming experience. I had always tried to make do with what I had, but once I sat in that chair I knew that I was missing out at home. Like me, it probably never occurred to you that your ass's longterm comfort makes a vital difference in how you experience playing a game. Maybe you always thought it didn't matter.

I'm gonna tell you that it does and that butt comfort can make or break a game.

A lot of people focus on the more videogamish aspects of their gaming setup. I would like to generalize with authori-tah that when gamers create a sort of game room to call their own they focus on the following.

1.TV
2.Sound
3.Imported Anime crap etc.

Please do not forget your ass.Invest whatever you deem is necessary to feel comfortable. Especially our precious girl gamers. Heaven forbid that your badonkadonk form hemorrhoids and ass cysts from playing Halo 3 all night long. Before you know it, you'll be playing level 8 on Halo 3 thinking, "this looks familiar." However, my warning is for both sexes to take heed up0n. Male butts may not look as fantastic, but as gamers we probably sit on our asses more than anything else. Like a good DJ should wear earplugs when he plays out in order to protect his ears, a serious gamer should protect his ass in order to keep his ass in fine sitting shape for the future.

You also want to be as comfy as possible when playing a game. Like Southern Comfort, let your it enhance the experience of what you're playing rather than hinder it. If you don't feel like getting out of your seat, than you can continue playing uninterrupted without silly stretch breaks and what not. It lets you relax and focus on the game to give you the competitive edge or help immerse yourself in what's going on. Didn't understand Metal Gear Solid 2's storyline at the end? You were probably sitting on something inferior to the game's superb writing. Invest in quality sitting furniture k?

For the illiterate, I have provided a summary below in picture form because I think everybody should understand what I'm trying to say here.

Don't play games like this guy.


Play games like he would.



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6 comments | showing # 1 to 6

prev next

Clockwork's Destructoid Blog
Now I'm not a scientist...but I think that guy in yellow just got the SHIT beat out of him.
Necros's Destructoid Blog
I had this sweet inflatable Nintendo Power chair as a kid. Unfortunately, both it and the replacement got a hole in it after one month of use and I ended up finally returning them. I still wish I had inflatable furniture.
lem's Destructoid Blog
I either pull my couch up to the telly or wiggle about in my bean bag till it's juuuust right.
vexed alex's Destructoid Blog
"wiggle about in my bean bag till it's juuuust right."

That is so totally what SHE said.
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
I have an uncomfy wooden chair. Now I'm jalous.
Eschatos's Destructoid Blog
I have an uncomfy wooden chair. Now I'm jalous.


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