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1:11 PM on 08.08.2008

Random Failings: RRoD Edition - Part 2

First, if you haven't read Part 1 of my story, please do so now.

I will resume where I left off. I was practicing my solo career the day after Part 1 was written, switching from the drums to the guitar and back, when I decided to turn my Xbox 360 off to go take care of something. When I finally found time to return to Rock Band, I walked in the room, picked up my Strat, and pressed the power button on the 360. It smugly winked at me with it's incessant red blinking until I finally realized the horror that just took place and again pushed the power button to turn it off.

"No way," I doubtfully remarked to myself. After pushing the power button once more, my Xbox made it clear that "Yes way" was the correct answer, as the dreaded 3 red rings greeted me again. I didn't know what to do now. Even my most valiant attempts at resurrecting my Xbox from the grave had failed. It had lived since October 13th, 2005 as a launch day Xbox with no problems, but just recently decided to croak. After trying the towel trick again to no avail, I went to bed disappointed. If Towely can't cure my Xbox, who can?

Although I was thinking hard about doing some sort of an x-clamp modification, I figured I would call Microsoft to see if I qualified for a free repair. My plan was, if I didn't qualify, I would try a home solution. After speaking to the entire Republic of India, I was transferred to the Xbox 360 department, where I spoke to a semi-competent lady who understood English well enough. Of course, she had to request all of the information (name, e-mail, address) I just got done telling the people that transferred me to her.

After giving up my 12 digit serial number (for the second time), she said I qualified for free repair, and that within 24-48 hours I would receive a UPS shipping label in my e-mail account. She made sure to tell me "not do include my 'ard dlive or any assesorees dat came with exbocks," and then she wished me a good day and thanked me for calling Microsoft support.

I will send my 360 out as soon as possible and be sure to update everyone if necessary. Hopefully mine doesn't get lost by UPS, MS, or both.

Please Microsoft! I don't care if I get mine back repaired, a refurb, or a brand new one, I just want one that works! Can you do that for me? Can I see green lights again to remove all thoughts of the red glow that haunts me in the night? (Ok maybe that is a bit over-dramatic, but you get my point.)

Come back to me! Wish me luck everyone, this whole RRoD thing is new for me.

[Song lyric credits: "Hemorrhage (In My Hands)," by Fuel.]   read

4:06 PM on 08.06.2008

Random Failings: Dead Xbox 360/RRoD Edition

I woke up and downloaded "Toxicity" and "B.Y.O.B." by System of a Down on Rock Band, as I was super excited for these tracks. After I played them once each on Expert guitar, I powered my Xbox down to go do the things I should have done when I first woke up (brush teeth, feed face, etc.) I came back in a hurry, wanting to get pwned on Expert drums by these songs, and lo and behold, Red Rings of Death.

I am the guy that always bragged. Yes sir, I was THE only guy I knew who got the launch Xbox that lasted. I was the guy that said not all of the 360's are defective, just look at my beautiful white box, with it's glistening green LEDs and its lewdly loud DVD drive. So when I saw these rings, my heart sank and my soul shriveled (ok it wasn't that bad). I was very distraught however. I unplugged the power and video connections many times, all in one feeble attempt to resuscitate my Halo-Box 360. None of them worked, so I took drastic measures...


I heard about the "towel trick" and had seen the video by Cheapy D on how to, in a sense, melt your Xbox into working order. I unplugged my HDD, USB cables, and video connection. Next, I got three towels and I wrapped them all around my Ecksbawks after powering it on and gazing into the cold red stare of the machine. After reassuring myself it was wrapped well, I set the timer for 20 minutes.

I came in due time and unwrapped my Xbox, with almost as much as excitement as tearing paper off of gifts at Christmas time. As the instructions said, I promptly turned it off and let it cool down from its surprisingly hot state. After 15 minutes, it was finally the moment of truth. Would my Xbox work? Was the heat treatment enough discipline to show it who's boss? I securely fastened all of my previous connections and configurations, excitedly depressed the power button, and as my eyes widened, I saw a familiar sight. Not the red rings, but the Xbox 360 startup screen!

It worked, but before I picked up the drumsticks and tested the pedal, I practically leaped to my local Wal-Mart (oh yeah, it happened) and bought a Nyko Intercooler EX. I figured it couldn't hurt...

When I returned home and installed the device, it was time to fail B.Y.O.B. on expert. And although System of a Down made me look like a three year old flailing on pots and pans with a whisk and a wooden spoon, I couldn't have been happier.


"Don't forget to bring a towel!"

[Song lyric credits: "Baby Come Back," by Player]   read

8:30 PM on 03.28.2008

IGN posts detailed interview with Rockstar concerning GTA IV


IGN posted a detailed interview with Dan Houser and Aaron Garbut over at Rockstar about Grand Theft Auto IV. I found it to be very informative and interesting. This is only part one, so look out on Monday for more of this interview. If GTA IV interests you, no matter how text-retarded you are (like I am), you should go through all 11 pages and take a look at some of the stuff they had to say. Who else is looking forward to the next true sequel in the Grand Theft Auto series, and not just an expansion?   read

7:22 PM on 03.17.2008

Why not: Happy 2nd B-day DTOID!!! - The "Because Everyone's Doing It" Edition (shoutouts inside)

So I was on Destructoid last night, like every, and I saw all the birthday commotion. It was about that time I slapped myself and remembered!

Dtoid is two, and it is Niero's birthday also! I remembered this date previously because it is 8 days after my own. After the face palm, I read on. And I have to say it. Bleep, you are a god of all things awesome. Those credits were nicely done and seriously awesome. Everyone else, you are awesome too. Props to riomccarthy for the awesome cake, and everything else she has made. I love your stuff.

I have been here a while as a reader, and a long time as a member. Thank you guys for making the most unique experience on the web. This community is better than any other. You all rock *sob--sniffle.* Also, sap.   read

2:47 PM on 10.18.2007

A question (and other stuff) from a slightly new blogger, LONG-time reader - Help Me Out!

This is only my fourth blog, therefore I am fairly new, and still have no central theme for my blogs. My question is, what is the official DTOID font? I cannot seem to find it, and it is like the coolest font, ya know, EVAR!!1!11!! Tell me where I can get this, or where to look. Keep the "lolz u dont know it u suk zomg" posts to a low. That's one thing Destructoid is awesome at. Keeping the trolls mostly away. Every once in a while, you get a hexfix (look his comments up), but you have to deal with them. And as I leave, I feel you are wanting more from my post. The only thing I can offer is my cat. I have no more. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT FROM ME?!


2:21 PM on 10.16.2007

Bee Movie Game Demo [REVIEW/RANT] Funny Stuff Inside.

You know that kiddy animation movie? Ooops, I have to be more specific. The one with the gay bee voiced and made by Jerry Seinfeld. Well, I turned my 360 on yesterday, and decided to check the Demos section, and look for any new morsels of GAME that might break me $60. I saw the Bee Movie Game Demo, and said, "What the heck, why not."

First mistake: I downloaded it.

[Not a game screenshot]

The game is the biggest pile of disgusting megabytes that have ever graced my 13gb (screw you Microsoft) 360 hard drive. You start off on a highway, and you must steer clear of cars, objects, or anything else that flies in your way. So, my first thought was, "Why doesn't Buzz McBuzzPants fly up high, away from the traffic?" Oh ya, then they wouldn't make a quick dishonest dollar. Anyway, you have to go up, or down, or left, or right, according to where the arrows direct you. That's about it. There is ONE, count it, ONE, thing that you do different; you press whatever buttons pop up on the screen, God of War style, except more dumb. No confirming 'click' or sign of indentation when you press the button either.

When you think it may be in a cut scene, it might decide to throw a few button combinations at you. Just press or tap the corresponding button. They throw you in a few unlikely situations, such as dodging some kids soccer ball, or trying to outrun a car. He is in front of the car, it is inching up on him, going faster and faster. He keeps flying---he is almost getting hit! DUDE! Just go UP AND ABOVE the car you incompetent insect!!!! Many scenarios like this will make you angry at the brain incapacity of whoever created this steaming heap of junk.

I have nothing against this movie, or Jerry Seinfeld. In fact, this looks like a very funny movie for those it targets. But the game... the game.


Main Idea: Fly around doing mundane crap, over and over again.

Graphics: Not terrible, but don't expect Gears of War, ladies and gents. The animations were not too jerky, and the pixels didn't burn my eyes. Better than some movie games, for sure.

Sound: Buzz freakin' buzz. The traffic sounds are well... trafficy. Voice acting is okay, but the same repeated "Watch Out!" line and other phrases get very old.

Playability: Not much.

Replay Value: Very low. What? Can you hear me now?? I said VERY LOW!

I give the Bee Movie Game (Demo) a one....




Out of five.   read

6:14 PM on 10.15.2007

My humble (useless) HALO opinion - Open and make me smile :)

There has been quite a bit of this and that and love and hate on the Halo series. Most say "halo sux lol" with not much to back it up. Sure, it has its downfalls, but the mindless fun it brings is so unique. Many have tried to mimic it, but nothing can beat whipping that Energy Sword out and having a good old fashioned sword fight. Hoorah.

I am not writing this about any game in particular, though I may focus on Halo 3 the most, because it is most recent. The thing most Halo-haters do not understand or comprehend, is that it is not a super strategy game, where you have to make this perfect decision in order to pass. You do not have to think about what to do next. You run, gun, throw a grenade, jump in a ghost, splatter some grunts, hit some rocks and flip this way and that.

This is an awesome party game. Anyone can play, wasted or not, and you will almost always get a few kills. It makes you feel good; you get splattered, but 4 seconds later you are on the run again, trying to stick the next unlucky punk who may step in the way of your live plasma nade.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I love Halo, and there are a few people (or so I hear) that seem to enjoy it. So, if you don't like Halo, you are quite obviously stupid.

Thanks.   read

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