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8:56 PM on 02.15.2010 // FunkzillaBOT
Mass Effect 2: This is my story (part 1)

To start with, unbelievable [Spoiler Warnings] up the butt. I wrote this in response to one of the videos I made in order to show my friends what this game was about, and why I was going on about it. That's when I realized that this was turning into a novel. So, I decided to make a Note/BlogPost and get it all out of my system.



First, let me say that this is a damn good game. I mean, from the second the game started up, they threw you into this bizarre situation. They completely changed control system, with no warning or warm-up. A fire fight with an unknown alien race, ship on fire, crew jumping into escape pods, and Shepard DEAD. I really had NO idea what the fuck was going?

The very next scene was a dude waking-up on an operating table, and then shooting my way out of a hospital. With only this woman’s (Miranda) word to go on about what's happening. That is, until you run into Jacob, who is the only one with any convictions at all.

Problem 1. For some reason, BioWare decided that their already complicated Xbox control scheme from the last game wasn't complicated enough and changed it without ANY warning at all.

Problem 2. Once you've come to realize that Shepard no longer has that cushy title of “Specter” anymore. So instead of him swanking around the galaxy like Hero king on high, and sleeping with chicks. NOW you start the game off as just some bum.

This makes everything and everyones reaction to you much different, and the game much harder. I guess I really didn’t realize that Shepard was getting special treatment from the the words, "I'm a Specter". Because now, people treat you like, "Oh... yeah... that was you? I though you were dead? So, anyway what do you want?", or my favorite, "Oh... it's YOU human, what do YOU and your 'kind' need now that you haven't already taken?" Damn.

I actually had an attitude about these changes in the "story" for about 3 days. Why? Well, because now -- he's not the “hero” any more. Now he's just some guy. And 'I' don't play a freaking 96 hour RPG to play as "SOME GUY". I play video games to be a person who's larger then life, someone who's noble, trustworthy, dependable, acts with honor. Who swoops in and saves the day. Someone who's........ JESUS. Not just "some guy". Ahhhh....! I'm already a "some guy" in real life, and there's nothing special about that. I'm just some bum, like all the other bums on the planet Earth, and where's the fun in that?


Anyway, the clown that you work for, and you DO work for him, is an untrustworthy prick, with a frightening history behind his company’s name. So, no matter how hard you try to go BACK to the Citadel and get yourself re-instated in the military and/or as "Specter". They said, NO WAY! They were "polite" about it of course, but... they didn't want to touch me with a 10 foot pole while I was 'involved' with Cerberus.

They didn't even want me in the room. I no longer had access to the pristine and upper crust sections of the Citadel. I was only allowed access to my Human Embassy Representative, and that's it! Then I was quickly escorted back down to the slummy sections of the Citadel, the only place where they would allow a 'Cerberus' Ship to dock; along with the other pirates, mercenaries, and shady business men. (What... A... Fall...!)

And the insults didn’t end there. Oh, no. My old ship mates that survived the accident, and my former commanding officer wouldn't speak to me anymore --- and called me a "TRAITOR"! (The hero of the mother-fucking galaxy, branded as a Traitor.)


After awhile, it really just sounded stupid and a little pathetic, to repeatedly say that "I don't work for Cerberus", when I CLEARLY do. I'm taking money from them, and they are paying me after every mission. They paid for a brand new ship to be built. They paid to bring you back from the DEAD. So the whole ----- you owe us ---- is pretty damn clear. And let’s not forget that I have my own personal bitch... I mean snitch on board ship. Tracking and reporting back every freaking thing that I do to the scariest 'mofo' ever, who STILL has yet to make his motive clear on what he "really wants" from you. Yeah... Shepard is hardly in a position of "being a hero", more like the position of "being the lap dog".
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