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4 reasons why you might like X-Blades.
Funky Goodness | 9:56 AM on 12.08.2008 11 comments


1. It's Devil May Cry mixed with Dynasty Warriors, with tits.
The protagonist, Ayumi, is a sexy, barely-legal (I'm assuming) smartmouth bitch, just like Dante. The gameplay seems similar too, which (if you're not affiliated with DMC) is pretty much DW taken to the next level in terms of complexity and stylishness.



2. Ayumi is hotter than Bayonetta.
So everyone knows by now that Bayonetta is almost literally DMC beaten with the oestrogen stick (it's developed by the same guy, Hideki Kamiya), but you know what? Fuck her. X-Blades is coming first, and Ayumi doesn't have a creepy motherly accent like Bayonetta. They may end up being extremely similar games, (in fact, Bayonetta will most likely have much better gameplay due to it's exponentially higher production budget) but I'd still take an anime chick over a freaky bitch with shotguns in her shoes.
Plus, Cel-Shading >>>>>>>>>> Realism. (See Prince of Persia.)

3. It's being made by some random Russian dudes, but published by SouthPeak. Apparently it's also based on an anime.
SouthPeak, as you may know, have never published a good game (except maybe Scurge:Hive and Ninjatown, as I've heard good stuff about those). After the complete and utter funrape that was Two Worlds, I'm looking forward to this and Edge of Twilight (a Steampunk hack and slasher) to turn their fortunes around. As you may also know, anime is awesome.



4. Ayumi is bringin' back the Gunblade.
Remember Final Fantasy VIII? Remember how the most awesome thing about that entire game was (besides Laguna) the Gunblade? Remember how, at the time, you thought "Damn. This is the most kickass weapon ever invented. Why don't more games have this?". And remember your bitter disappointment that no games since then (possible exception of Soulcalibur as Cervantes uses a kind of pistol sword) have utilized the excellence and practicality of the Gunblade? Well, guess what? IT'S BACK, BABY! And it's bringing it's proportionally-challenged friend along for the ride.
Goddamn it, if Dtoid score this game lower than a 7, I'll know they're all sexist.

(I'll be honest, I only wrote this so I could verbally masturbate the Gunblade. Yes, it's that awesome.)



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9 comments | showing # 1 to 9
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BlindsideDork's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 11:38
BlindsideDork
I was expecting a list of just bewbs bewbs bewbs...or maybe one bewb for each reason.
Uther's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 11:42
Uther
Bewb, bewb, cheek and cheek, perhaps?
Funky Goodness's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 11:56
Funky Goodness
I'm excited for it as I've been waiting awhile for another quality hack and slasher since DW6/WO2's disappointment, and the bewbs are just an added bonus. =)
CrocBox's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 12:20
CrocBox
I was pretty much sold when I saw a poster at PAX. The fact that it might actually be a decent game is just a bonus.
Red TheHaze Veron's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 14:27
Red TheHaze Veron
SERIOUSLY?
the GAMEGOBLIN's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 14:40
the GAMEGOBLIN
Reading this blog I see that they've nailed their target demographic.

Take that as you will.
Funky Goodness's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 14:59
Funky Goodness
@the GAMEGOBLIN

Niiiice...
Scrixx's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 18:48
Scrixx
#5.

Bayonetta looks like Sarah Palin, Ayumi does not ;0
Demtor's Avatar - Comment posted on 12/08/2008 22:28
Demtor
I'm with you man, I can't wait for this game to come out. I really, REALLY, hope it doesn't suck, haha.
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