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Following (2)  

6:44 PM on 12.31.2011

Ehhh Spaghetti and Meatballs.


It still amazes me how short the patience is of little kids on GMOD, I mean all I am really doing for a while is going up to him and being a stereotypical Italian. Instead of leaving the server or perhaps muting me he cries for admin the instant he gets "hugged" by us.

by the way "HAPPY NEW YEARS!"


For anyone unfamiliar to the game mode "Deathrun", it's a modification of Garry's Mod, the whole point of this game mode is to reach the end of the level and kill the guys on the "death" team, however you have to avoid obstacles that the death team presents to you through a series of instant kill traps that they can summon.

This game mode usually de-evolves to that one dickhead who is left and all he does is bunny hop while guys on death scratch their nuts waiting until the bhop guy moves into the trap.

In my effort to spice up this game I play the role of commentator, in a sort of pseudo parody of the commentators of NASCAR or I try to make the infinite boring stalemate suspenseful in a way.

I mentioned this is Garry's Mod though, so obviously the community is too young to comprehend what I am doing, which is why I recorded their reaction to the John Madden of Deathrun.



Greetings everyone! Keith Fosmire here, presenting to you a guide that will revolutionize competitive Left 4 Dead 2 gaming!


In this guide:

* Clever use of applied mathematics to optimize gaming performance

* Solid choice of music which boosts team morale

* First hand demonstration of advanced gaming tactics in action!

* Masterful, Rambo run, fighting off everything that the AI throws

* Clearly enunciated instructions which give you a step-by-step plan that is easy to follow!

* Beautiful game settings which grant the player Neo vision, just like in The Matrix!

So what are you waiting for? Check out this brief guide and become the world's next Left 4 Dead 2 pr0 TODAY!

After a long and eternal rest (hibernation for I am a bear.), I am back and I read all your emails (12940!) and made this video just for you the fans! I hope you guys enjoy this as much as I enjoyed reading all your emails asking me to stop being a lazy bastard and making another video! So here it is after a year in production!


12:26 PM on 08.19.2009

I'm currently playing a guy named "Punchy," a Hispanic male with an extremely fat face, big nose, Doombringer facial hair, and Warhawk. Punchy is extremely strong, as well as a fast-talking slick that's gifted with women. His weakness, however, is his complete lack of intellect and perception, as a result, he likes to kill people by using only his fists (aided by spiked knuckles) only because he likes to see things die. After beating everyone in Megaton to a bloody pulp, he blew it up from Tenpenny towers, recieved his room, then killed everyone in there as well. In order to advance the game (and due to getting bored with punching out everyone he comes in contact with), he let a few residents of Rivet City live. After dad dies at the hands of the Enclave in the Jefferson Memorial once you start getting Project Purity to work, Punchy learned how to wear his newly found Enclave armor thanks to the Brotherhood of Steel guys in the Pentagon. He let them live, for now. Punchy is primarily going through the main storyline, and is able to run up to any super mutant and punch him to oblivion (thanks to bloody mess). He enjoyed being the Pint-Sized Slasher on his spare time. Punchy is currently single, simply because he can't resist beating everyone he comes into contact with (especially Amata). He keeps his face hiding behind a Hockey Mask, and roams the wasteland in an Enclave Power Suit.

6:59 AM on 08.18.2009

My brother and I saw Judas fuckin' Priest last night near Ft. Lauderdale. It was at the Hard Rock Seminole Casino, very nice venue. The location was really posh, it was hilarious seeing metalheads roam the place amongst rich tourists.

First video-game related rant:

In that second picture, you can see some of the rock radio station tents. The one on the left in this picture had Guitar Hero Metallica. While I may not be a total gook at Guitar Hero, I am nevertheless good enough to 5-star nearly every song on Expert in that game. As you can probably tell, GH: Metallica is my favorite entry, and I came in my pants with joy once they released Hammer Smashed Face on Rock Band, but I digress.

Why is it that in every music event like this that's non-game related, they always have to fuck up Guitar Hero? The little thing here was that you could try any song on any difficulty and you would've gotten a shirt. Fair enough, I decided to be a jack-ass though and put Expert despite the fact that I knew for a fact that it was BADLY out of sync (my brother told me not to do it on Expert for that reason exactly). But no, I had to show people I had a big dick in this game. People were choosing your typical songs like Enter Sandman, but fuck them! This is a Judas fuckin' Priest concert! HELL BENT FOR LEATHER! I failed in about 10 seconds... Fuck. My brother is about as good as I am in the game, but he was smarter than me. He retried the same song, but on Hard. So fuck them, even though I lost, we still got our shirt :P too bad it's a lame white shirt that just advertises the Rock station... Oh well. I was also mad because whoever won a shirt got their pic taken. The reason why this bothered me was because everyone held up their shirt WITHOUT DOING THE METAL HORNS! WTF? This isn't a Green Day concert faggots! But I digress again: music stores, radio stations, other non-game stores, if you're going to put up Guitar Hero, AT LEAST CALIBRATE IT. STOP FUCKING UP GUITAR HERO. IT'S NOT THAT HARD. JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE NOT DIRECTLY ASSOCIATED WITH VIDEO GAMES DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAVE TO BE A CLUELESS TOOL. I think the ONLY music related place I was ever at that actually bothered to calibrate was at the Mayhem Fest a week back, they had a Rock Band 2 station set up, I had fun showing off my Death Metal vocals to Hammer Smashed Face, which was fucking surreal because I met them an hour before (I ASKED CORPSEGRINDER WHAT HE THOUGHT ABOUT WRATH OF THE LICH KING AND HE SAID IT WAS AWESOME/HE WROTE "HORDE!" AND "FUCK THE ALLIANCE" ON HIS TABLE), and then an hour later I saw them play right in front of me (I was able to get right up to the barricade).

Back to the Judas Priest crowd, it was also fun seeing old people there rock out to Priest, I wonder if they saw them back when British Steel was NEW. They recorded the concert I was at for a DVD release of the 30th anniversary of British Steel, I can't wait to fucking get it and relive this night. Here's a picture of the stage before Priest came on.

For some reason the drummer from Iron Maiden was in this section. You can't see him in this pic, but he was there! Shouldn't he be in England? Whatever. A lot of people stood up and waved at him, gave him the horns, etc. I saw one woman up there take a picture with him.

My phone is shit so I couldn't take any pictures during the show, especially with all the lights and the lasers and what not. Here's a picture of the set after they were done, they finished off in an epic way with "You've Got Another Thing Coming," which I say is also video game related due to Vice City.

This whole thing is video game related, also due to BRUTAL LEGEND, which I pre-ordered for the 360. \m/


Now if you'll excuse me, I need to get back to Fallout 3 while listening to all of Judas Priest's albums again.
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