A couple of days ago,I decided to write a very brief post on my feelings about
Psychonauts,which to sum it up briefly was ''I hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate hate
hate hate Psychonauts!''
I uploaded it to the Community Blogs simply to see how people would react and to be fair,it
did just seem like I was just trolling everyone so now allow me to explain why I hate
Psychonauts.Really,the game is just average but I hate it simply because of how everyone
else has pretty much ruined it for me by going on about how utterly fantastic it is.
You might be thinking I hate it for the infamous Meat Circus level(since this was actually a
comment that someone made on the original post) and while I did give up at the Meat
Circus,that isn't why I hate Psychonauts.My patience for the damn game just reached its limit
by this point and I simply gave up.It was annoying,true,but nowhere near as annoying as
some of the other levels in the game(I'm probably the only man alive who hates the
Godzilla/Kaiju parody level).
On the subject of the Kaiju level,this was something about the game which majorly annoyed
me.Whenever the game tried to do something besides platforming like the Napoleon level or
the Milkman level,it just ended up falling flat on its arse and just made things worse for me
due to being so utterly frustrating.I don't understand why Double Fine decided to try add
variety considering that the platforming was actually pretty good.
A lot of the time,the variety they added just felt broken and rather untested in my eyes.It
made things very dull,the framerate would go down all the damn time and I constantly
backtrack/look up guides on the internet to find out what the damn hell I was meant to do.
(this was made by a studio headed up by a man who helped make Monkey Island after all)
But that's not even the worst bit of the game.Oh no,that would have to go to the undeniably
frustrating,plain evil combat.Jesus Christ,if there's a more awful,bloody annoying combat
system in a 3D platformer,I've yet to meet it.You constantly get gang-raped by those damn
censors,run out of ammo and end up dying all the frigging time.Did anyone else go insane
trying to open the castle gates in the Napoleon level because of this?
Some of you will probably be telling me that I should enjoy Psychonauts for the effort gone
into making this,the interesting story and memorable characters and the huge amount of
creativity seen throughout even if the gameplay has issues and isn't up to scratch when
compared to other 3D platformers.And while you can look past the flaws,I can't.To me,it
doesn't matter if the story was written by the finest writers in existence,if the graphics and
music is utterly stunning to witness,if the amount of creativity and originality is beyond
startling if the game behind it all wasn't worth a damn.
If you enjoy the game for all it means for you,I'm actually quite jealous of you.You heard me
right.When I bought Psychonauts,I wanted to love it like everyone else does.I heard no end
of the constant praise it got from the public and the internet and I wanted to believe it was
true.That's why I bought the game after 4 and a half years of hearing about it.However,I just
can't love it like the rest of you.
No matter how much I tried,I couldn't let go of the problems I had with the gameplay.It's quite
depressing,actually,knowing that I can't love,or even like,what's widely considered to be one
of the best 3D platformers made in the last decade.My expectations were simply too high and
that's why I hate Psychonauts.It's a game I wanted to love but I never can;it's something that
I can only call average;it's something where I believed all the praise given to it.Maybe I am just butthurt over this but it's still depressing for me.
In any case,I'll be signing out and the rest of you just keep enjoying Psychonauts.
You lucky bastards.