4:45 PM on 05.19.2015
This is a slightly edited repost from a MyTake I posted on girlsaskguys.com.
Warning: Even though mushrooms have 'cured' me, they are not without dangers. I am not condoning its use without some serious reading, careful dosing and doing it with a trip-sitter or other professional!
Talking about drugs is never an easy subject. Most people already judge you for the fact that you take them. Still, I want to break through this taboo because Magic Mushrooms have the potential to make a positive impact on loads of lives, as it did for mine.
I've dealt with depression for almost 10 years. It was a terrible time that only got worse as the years dragged on. I lost my ability to be social, I wasn't interesting in going out or doing anything else but sit at the computer all day, browsing all matter of questionable websites such as 4chan (got nothing against it, but it's not healthy). Also, videogames, my biggest hobby at the time fell totally apart. I was in my head a lot instead of connecting to my feelings, which got increasingly hopeless. I pushed many friends away over the years.
At some point I got help and was described anti-depressants. They didn't work. They either made me sleepy, agitated or downright suicidal. Whenever I took them I felt like a zombie: Alive to keep going, but not much else.
Then I read about Magic Mushrooms. The substance in Magic Mushrooms is Psilocybin, and how it was being researched as a strong anti-depressant. This interested me loads, but I was too scared to try...
I live in The Netherlands, so weed as well as mushrooms can be legally bought here. Finding myself increasingly hopeless I bought a pack of mushrooms when I was in the city one day. That night I took about 2 grams of the stuff and that's where the magic literally happened.
At some point I began to feel warm. Not the kind of heat when you turn on the heater, but warm and fuzzy inside my body. My worries started to disappear, and I could see the bright side of certain things again. I put on a piece of music and I was amazed at how good it sounded! No longer wishing to hide behind my computer, I took the bus to the city, smoked a little bit of weed and proceeded to have an absolute blast of an evening! I had fun with so many different things, it was incredible! I felt confident, I felt beautiful and I felt like the ladies were genuinely interested in me while before I hard a hard time to look them in the eyes! Needless to say I flirted a lot that night.
When I woke up the next day, the positive vibes were still there! Now I'm working on my future again. I want to get my pilot's license and find a nice woman to share my life with. No more stalling, no more overthinking things. It's time to live my life! And hopefully do a lot of gaming again, I've been out of it for far, far too long!
Thank you for reading, and rest in piece my friend. I also would like to thank anyone who has supported me over the years, Destructoid will always have a special place in my heart.
For anyone interesting in finding out more:
And of course I'll be happy to answer any questions you may have. Please do not get them out of the blue because they are certainly not without danger.
7:49 PM on 12.18.2011
Maybe it's a bit 'not done' to brag about winning a prize from a charity giveaway, but let's just say I'm really happy with what came in the mail two days ago:
I'm actually not much of a Final Fantasy fan myself, I was hooked on VIII, yet never really explored the universe beyond that game. My friend however, is a big fan, and I want to share something about him which relates to all this.
You see, my friend has suffered from an extremely rare condition since childhood. It has messed up his body in a lot of ways, the biggest of them all being total renal failure at an early age.
So far, he's been through two kidney transplants. Both however, didn't last for more than a couple of years. Going through dialysis for two hours per day, six times per week is no joke, but for him it's simply a part of life. At least it's a part of life which he can do from the comfort of his own home, a luxury not every kidney-patient is able to get.
When he was a kid, he eagerly made use of the Super Nintendo on the dialysis department. It only had a handful of games, but it worked like magic to kill time for a kid hooked up on a dialysis machine for hours on end. From that moment on he was destined to become a gamer and still is to this day. Very proud of what is still his biggest hobby. I really can't imagine him ever giving up on his passion, which is good. Everyone needs a passion in life, it can be anything really, and for a lot of us that passion is video games.
I'm honestly not that much of a philanthropist and I would be lying if I said that Dtoid's massive giveaway wasn't an incentive to donate more than I would have. But it also made me think of my friend and how hospital-white was pretty much the color of his childhood. It's not very fun, a place you don't want children to be calling a second home like he did.
So in the end it's all good. My donation will help sick kids to kill time with something fun and my stroke of luck is going to make my friend a very happy gamer.
Thanks to Destructoid for being awesome, to Square Enix for being very generous and kudos to everyone who donated. See you guys next year!
I bring you the sad news that my gamer friend passed away in 2014. Game on in heaven, Commander Bart.