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3:41 AM on 05.13.2015  

What newbie, trigger happy mod is deleting my comments.

Speak up now so I can slap you.


Edit: This has been resolved. Chris Carter has promised to share all his animal crackers with me and I'll be getting a 4.7% cut of all ad generated revenue.


9:53 AM on 05.12.2015  

AMA allow it. Ask then.

Prayers. How you humans speak you your gods.

This is your God.

Look at him.

Acknowledge him.


Now ask him whatever you wish.



4:50 AM on 05.07.2015  

Things I do when my internet at home is down

1. Photoshop Kanye West onto spaghetti.

2. Photoshop multiple Kanye West onto spaghetti.

3. Try to figure out why you saved that image of a guy wearing a hat.

4. Fall ill then make cookies. Post on instagram. 

5. Go to work (I'm doing this one right now).

It's been 8 days since the internet at home stopped working and they say it'll be offline for another week, please help.




5:05 AM on 04.17.2015  

Info Drop: DMC4 SE and the Digital Curse.

DMC4Devil May Cry 4: Special Edition will be digital-only in the west photo

As you know I don't actually blog. I just saw something interesting.
Earlier on there was a Destructoid post on the DMC4 SE stating that it'll only be digital in the west.
I don't know if this is already widely known but I got an email today with some interesting information.
Apparently the Asian (Thanks for the correction, Luna) edition comes with both English voices and Subs!
If you're on Playstation (Don't know too much about the XBOX) like me the only worry you should have about importing the game over is customs fees.

I've used Play-Asia a good few times now. They have it up for pre order at $33/£22 (not including shipping) so if you're like me and you'd prefer a physical copy of the game then here's an option!

Here's a direct link to the PS4 copy:


So, that's kinda it.

See ya.


11:44 AM on 04.13.2015  

The Trial of the Lycanthrope

The journey long, his breath short.
He finally reaches his destination.
He looks at the towering gates before him
Risen as if he was expected.

He takes a step in, the room flooded with light.
It blinds him as he he walks foreward.
Inconmprehensible treasures surrounding him.
But they aren't what he's come for.
His mission is set.
He walks on, he doesn't falter.

Not like the others.
The ones who stare in awe.
With a steel grip and a stone gaze.
They who have found their prize before.
But they cannont move, frozen in place
Aware of the price they will pay.

He reaches the end of the path.
But not the end of his trial
For there is one final test
But he is prepared.
His work will not be in vain.

He presents the altar with a key.
It doesn't respond. 
An offering must be made.
His soul, split into four.
Four numbers he will never forget.

He waits.
Questioning himself for the first time.
Was this choice the right one?
Can such a sacrifice be made without consequence?

But there was no time for regret.
The pact had been made....


The PS4 was his.



6:27 AM on 04.10.2015  

Dissidia Final Fantasy News

I'm a big fan of Final Fantasy. I also really loved the Dissidia games for the PSP.
So logging onto the internets to see more news about the upcoming game made my morning.
Now, I'm not a Destructoid writer. I'm sure one of them will pick up on the news and this will become pretty pointless but I'd thought I'd share some things I'm excited about that have been revealed today.

1. This screenshot in particular - first off.

(Note: Seems like image has been removed by the uploaded. It was a picture of a battle screen and said "For Playstation 4" in the corner. RIP image. So have a pic of 3 heroes).
Look at the top right corner.
In the conference it was said that production of a PS4 title would not start until a year after the arcade games release but have stated that the game is being developed using the "PS4's core system". A few images of what the game would look like on PS4 were shown.

2. Summons are now more than just bravery buffs/debuffs

While it cant be seen to well in point number one, that orange blur is Ifrit. It seems that along with our usual EX bar, the players will charge up a "Summon gauge" which will allow the team to bring in a friendly beast which acts as a 4th team member for a short amount of time. If I've read correctly, summons will prioirtise the enemy you have currently targetted for some massive combo damage.

3. It looks fresh as fuck

As expected, the game is looking really nice. There are some sweet screenshots floating around online. Character information is pretty much stuck in the corners of the screen. This screen shot is of one of the two announced new areas, Mako Reactor which is obviously a FF7 themed map. The other is Cocoon Overworld from 13.

4. Claims to have 50+ playable characters, some to be gotten through later updates.

Ramza from Final Fantasy Tactics has been confirmed to be one of the new characters we'll be seeing. Along with Final Fantasy 14 Main Story character, Y'shtola. I'm a big fan of both of these games so this is pretty much a major thing for me. With 50+ characters it's safe to place bets on your favourite character being added so make your wishlists.

5. Cross Slash is still boss as fuck.

Need I say more?

6. Koei Tecomo (Team Ninja) announces collaboration, multiple costumes planned.

I can't find much on this to be honest. It does make me somewhat excited, customisation is a gaming fetish for me. Only thing better than killing friends is killing friends in style. Although, Team Ninja? Tifa? The second coming of FF7 Hentai?

7. New Trailer kinda makes this whole blog pointless.


Let's talk hype in the comments section.

I seem to have broken some type of rule by not posting where I gathered my info so here you go:






11:09 AM on 04.07.2015  

Sharing the Cool: IRL armour.

Hey guys,
Not much of a blog to be honest. 
It's just after many coversations with people on the site I think some of you might enjoy this.
I just picked up a really nice Monster Hunter tee from one of my favourite sites,

Here's the design if you're too lazy to click/don't have any spare gil.

The site usually puts up two shirts for 24 hours for a lower price. If you miss the window they let you buy it the next day at a slightly higher price. The store also has a lot of other gaming/anime themed clothing which is pretty decent. I've ordered a few things from there and can say that the quality of the items is top notch and after various washes I see no fading.

That's pretty much it. I just thought someone might appreciate it.


See ya.


11:47 AM on 03.04.2015  

How to be unproductive at work.

I'm REALLY into Final Fantasy 14 at the moment. Being at work with no tasks running I decided to look around the little we know about the upcoming Heavensward Expansion.

One of the new classes we'll be getting in the expansion is the Dark Knight, a magic weilding Tank-type class that I personally cant wait for. This is an image of the new Au Ra race in the concept Dark Knight armour....

The white hair...the greatsword...the edgy "hand in front of face" pose....
I saw this and I was sure I'd seen it before...
Then I figured where...

I work at a design company and they use all the adobe software. As an admin, I also have it installed on my machine for troubleshooting purposes. But as I had nothing to do as the office is pretty empty today, I made this terrible edit!

There! I sat there amazed at my second ever photoshop masterpiece!
Then my boss appeared, slapped me around the head and told me to go replace a GPU in a broken machine.


And that my friends, is how to be unproductive at work.


4:32 AM on 02.25.2015  

I did a nintendo.

I havent bought a Nintendo console since the Gamecube which was an awesome little thing. Memories of Metroid Prime and Smash Bros. make me wish it didnt die (RIP Terry the Gamecube) and it had the only game my mother would play which was Mario Kart: Double Dash.

The New 3DS came out here in the UK on the 13th but I only got to mine on the 18th as I was on holiday. Since then I've been trying to figure out what the hell I'm doing on this thing. It's been quite fun so far...except playing on the train seems to attract the attention of middle aged women and the auto-brightness sometimes makes playing games feel more like ninja training to hunt prey in the dark.

But anyway, here's my new friend. The "Metalic Black" New 3DS XL. Which is a like because there is nothing black about this. They should have called it "Shiny Grey" or "Dull Silver". It's kinda ruining my tech colour scheme. Phone is black, PS Vita is black, PC + all peripherals are black, PS3 is black, I'm black and then there's this..."Polished Dust" 3DS.

Also, it's got a crush:

Streetpass is an odd little thing. It's suprising how many I get on the train to and from work, I never see anyone playing a DS. Maybe I'm getting them from people who are at the stations? There's this one girl I seem to pass every day, we seem to get on the same train but I still cant tell who it is. For now I'll just use my Mii to shout odd quotes at her....

In total at the moment I have 3 games. LoZ Majoras Mask, SMT IV and MH4U but I havent touched Majoras mask yet. I've been having fun getting my ass kicked in the other two. I did get a pretty nice Majoras mask themed carrying case though. It holds the system, 4 games, my head phones and comes with two mask themed stylus and a roll of sellotape...

I'm feel like im cheating my way through StreetPass Quest. When you pass someone more than once the Mii levels up and they seem to do more damage. So I've got train girl and my younger brother slapping things silly in there...until a stupid shield ghost turns up and ruins the fun (NOBODY WEARS YELLOW?!) My brother has been playing Smash Bros alone for the last week so this is what I get in my plaza every day when I get home from work...


Can anyone reccomend me any good 3DS games? I don't plan to buy anything more until I finish one of the ones I have already. I've got Alpha Sapphire, Persona Q and Devil Survivor Overclocked in mind already. What are other must have 3DS titles?


4:57 AM on 12.23.2014  

Chinese Jesus and the Peach Tree.

(Img link coz the pic is small:

There was once a Chinese man named Jesus. He wore black clothes every day to remind him of his old highschool crush who was also black. Damn she was hot. Like we're talking at least 97 degrees without clouds here. 
You see, back in the day Jesus was a playa and the one thing he loved was a good ol' peice of booty. There was this one girl in his maths class who had it going on. Sure, she was black and his strict Chinese family probably wouldn't appprove but this gurl had a booty like daaayummmm.

Jesus decided that it was time that he practised his Bible skills to win over the girl's heart. He knew that she'd totally dig his bible because praise the lord and all that jazz, and black people back then LOVED jazz. He spent hours every night memorising various passages and even made his own 12 disciples out of clay. Like, he was on this shit. 

Finally, after 40 days and 40 nights of listening to Lover's Rock and R&B, Jesus decided he was ready to ask the girl of his dreams on a date. But then it happened. On his bicycle ride into work, Jesus kicked a puppy that was in his way. The puppy died instantly but because the PS4 has so much RAM the puppy's corpse didn't dissolve into nothing, it just stayed there in the road. R Kelly's limo ran over the puppy which would have normally been ok but the PS4 rendered puppy had so little polygons it was all pointy and shit and made the limo crash into a wall.

Subsequently, R Kelly died. The girl that Jesus was in love with was distraught because she was black and ALL black people LOVE R Kelly. She couldn't handle the pain and so took her life. She also took her mothers purse. And she took the family car...Hell she took everything....what a bitch... (shit Jesus man this bitch is crazy!)

Later that year, Jesus graduated from college and became a priest in the near-by church because you totally need a degree in Holy Economics to become a priest. In the Church garden he planted a Peach Tree. The peach tree was there as a sign of hope for him, for though even though the love of his life was dead, he was still man enough to grow fruit. Also the shape of the peaches reminded him of his beloved girl's sweet, sweet ass.

He taught his students that black women were the shit, and that they should go get them some of that. One of his students grew up to a master painter. That's where the picture comes from. It's not a screenshot from Resident Evil 6 ffs what's wrong with you.

I dont actually know what disclaimer means:
I'm single. And Black. So, you know.


9:13 AM on 12.19.2014  

Hello I'm 12.









2:29 PM on 11.20.2014  


Hello my tempting teacups of tenacity.
I've come back from the dark corner of my bedroom to bring you the opportunity to talk with the community about things! What have you been doing lately? What have you been playing? Did that girl next door finally send you those nudes? Don't keep it to yourself, discuss!

Because my life is very uninteresting I don't have much to share but I'll see what I can do.

On the PC I am....
Finishing Resident Evil 6! I've been playing this game for a good 20-something hours now which is suprising, I didn't think I was gonna get that much time out of it. It can be a frustrating little fur tail sometimes but overall its quite fun. I've only got Ada booty  Wong's campaign to finish now. OH AND HELENAS SISTER.

Can we take a moment to speak on how disturbingly sexy this zombie is?
I mean you get the pleasure of fapping to fighting this TWICE. 
Too bad the bloody game doesn't let you pause.

On the PS3...
I'm playing BlazBlue again. Not really because I want to but more because I haven't played any acfade fighter in a while and the hype for the new Guilty Gear is RISING. I cant wait for it, I think I'm gonna stick to good ol' Chipp although Sin Kiske does look rather fun, so does the odd gal in the long dress. I never stick with one character for long so I'll probably jump around until I find the main.

Here's a new video if you haven't seen it yet

In the realm of the real world...

I started going to the gym. I got a friend coming along with me. The guy lost a heapload of weight over the last year. He got really tired of being lethargic and heavy and so he decided to do something about it. Now he's real happy with his body and I thought I needed some of that in my life. So I'm going along too. Maybe I'll be as sexy as Andy Dixon in a few years time.
Related image:

That's it from me, what's everyone else been doing?

(oh and here's something funny
^ Yes that is me. This is a joke campaign im running, I am going on holiday but I don't think I look too attractive in a hat tbh.




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