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7:11 PM on 01.28.2008

I have EIGHT cupcakes

I love cake just as much as any other man. Scratch that, I love cake more than any other man, because I am more man than any other man. As a man who loves his cake, when I find myself in a home without cake, I feel that the one thing the house is missing is cake. That was the case tonight, an I needed cake. Now, I'm not one to go to a store for cake. I much prefer home-made cake. Yet my oven is currently broken, and I have recently had to settle for the store bought goods. So tonight I went to the grocery store, seeking cake, naturally, but not wanting to spend too much money. I was faced with the choice of buying four cupcakes for $3.00, or a cake with four slices in it for $4.00. I was about to go for the cake, when it hit me that I could get eight cupcakes for $6.00. WHAT A BARGAIN! I immediately picked up the cupcakes and went to the cash register, grinning ear to ear. As I walked out of the store, I whispered to myself "mission accomplished!" Ha ha ha, accomplished it was.   read

5:47 PM on 01.02.2008

NJ Judge denies atheist parents right to adopt a child - What the fuck?

An article up on Time's website has upset me. A judge in New Jersey denied a couple the right to adopt a child for the fact that they were atheists. She said that the couple would force their child to not believe in a supreme being, and that not giving the child religious freedom would not be an adequate way in which to raise it. I am an atheist, and I'm not shy about it. I am not one to go out looking to argue with people who have religion, although I know there are atheists like that. I've always believed in just letting others believe whatever they want. Who am I to judge?
I thought we were out of the dark ages. It's disgusting that parents can be denied the right to adopt a child due to their religious preference. If the parents were devout Christians, would they have been denied a child because they wouldn't allow it to deny the existence of a supreme being? This prejudice towards atheists needs to end. Believe in whatever you want, just don't encroach upon the rights of others because their beliefs differ. I don't want to sound cliche, but can't we all just get along?   read

11:59 PM on 12.31.2007

It's 2008... IT'S THE FUTURE!

Why hello there. Welcome to 2008, a brand new year full of mystery and amazement. What's in store for us? We have Smash Bros. and Little Big Planet. Metal Gear Solid 4 and a new Resident Evil. Grand Theft Auto IV and maybe even Banjo Threeie. Although who knows, maybe half of that stuff will be delayed until 2009 and we'll all be like "2009 will be awesome!" And who knows how many interesting news bits and crazy stories will come up in '08. Will the hyped games deliver? Will Spore finally come out? Who knows, maybe Square will announce that FF VII remake that will have fanboys furiously masturbating the whole world over. Oh the mystery and majesty of it all! There's a whole new year of fun! 365 days full of information! 52 more Fridays for the peoples of DESTRUCTOID to play together. Now if you excuse me, I must go off to buy a flying car. HIP HOP HOORAY!   read

12:31 PM on 12.29.2007

I'm gonna be more active around here, so I hope you all like me

Last night I took part in FNF. I was playing CoD 4, and it seemed that the thing most everyone had to say to me was "who the hell are you?"
Not that I can blame them or anything, I've never been active at this site. I read the front page daily, but that's about it. Maybe I'd comment once in awhile, or make a blog post of little importance, but I never tried to be a part of the community. I've decided to change that. I'll start reading c-blogs, commenting on stories, and updating my blog more often. I don't know how good my blog will be, but regardless, I'll at least be posting something that lets people know I exist at DESTRUCTOID. So there you go. I'm going to get my name at least somewhat recognized so that more people will know who I am come next Friday.

P.S: To the people I was playing with towards the tail end of the night, given that you enjoy being fucked by horses, getting fucked by a horse until you die wouldn't be a bad way to go. Not that I'm into that or anything.   read

11:37 PM on 12.01.2007

Broken Rock Band Peripherals? Get a Free EA Game!


I just received this email:

Greetings Rocker,

Congratulations on your purchase of Rock Band!

After reviewing our records, we see that your recent request for a replacement guitar has been subject to an unacceptably long delay due to a late shipment from our manufacturer.

By the time you receive this, your replacement guitar should be on its way to you. However, the Rock Band team is committed to providing a world-class customer experience and we do not believe we have met this commitment in connection with your request. As a token of our appreciation for your patience and understanding, we will be offering you a FREE EA game. Details will follow shortly.

We are sorry if your first experience with Rock Band has not met your expectations. We hope our gift will show you how committed we are to your satisfaction.

Thank you,

The Rock Band Team

There's no word on what the list of games will be, but here's hoping there's some recent titles on there and not games from the last few years that sold poorly.   read

6:39 PM on 07.26.2007

Insane NES crossover video, or "THOSE CRAZY JAPANESE!"


The real title of this video is "改造スパルタンXとかをあの人にやらせてみた" which directly translates to "Jesus fuck get this lobster off my balltits, happy fun time!" The video speaks for itself.   read

5:56 PM on 07.26.2007

Dragonforce to rock Guitar Hero 3 and annihilate your fingers


During a community event held last Monday, Guitar Hero III developer Neversoft revealed [Guitar Hero III's] whole setlist, which included a master track recording of "Through the Fire and Flames" from speed-metal demigods DragonForce. For those unfamiliar with the fringe rockers, the band shows off its skills in several oh-so-helpful YouTube videos on how to play its epic riffs.

This news alone has saved Guitar Hero III for me, as I now know that it has something I've always wanted that Rock Band doesn't have. But I honestly don't know if I'll be able to handle it, the song is almost eight minutes long and completely insane. The first video of someone getting 100% on this song will signal that robots have successfully infiltrated our society. I'll man the cannons.

Source: Gamespot   read

9:58 PM on 06.16.2007

New Rock Band information from Game Informer (ten fretted guitar, awesome drums, and a new pair of pants for me)

Blatantly stolen from a poster on NeoGAF, who took info from the latest issue of Game Informer

- One disk with 4 separate campaigns. Guitar, Drum, Bass and Vocal. Each can be played on its own from start to finish, in addition, a full band game is designed to allow for one huge co-op playthrough.

- Will feature full support for four player online play on both 360 and PS3. Any combination of on/offline play will work and each player can pick their own difficulty setting.

- Flexible community system will allow you to find bandmates anywhere in the world

- There will be a way for you to share your band's triumphs with the world, but the details are still under wraps.

- Musical fret-boards are now transparent so you can see more of the background visuals. Guitar is on the left side of the screen, Bass on the right and drums down the middle. Vocals scroll from right to left along the top of the screen.

- Guitars and Bass now have 10 frets. 5 for the regular sections of the game and 5 for the newly designated solo sections.

- Whammy bar is back as is the tilt to activate rock band's version of star power

- there is a five way switch on the guitar that allows for 5 different self-applied effects to the sound.

- Singing is now more in depth. There is a phoneme detector that will pick up individual vowels and consonants you say. Build up enough highly judged phrases and you'll be able to sing free-form. If you do well enough in free-form, then you'll trigger the vocalist's version of star power.

- Microphone doubles as a tambourine on many songs to combat super long guitar solos where the singer doesn't have much to do.

- Drums are apparently insane. You use actual sticks and hit one of four colored pads in front of you, in addition to a kick pedal attached to the drumming unit. Drummers will also have the ability to do fills etc. in their own little free-form section, do well and you'll trigger the drummers version of star power.

- If one person fails, the whole band does not fail, their section simply turns gray and they have to sit out the rest of the song unless one your band mates initiates star power, which will bring you back into the fold.

- If all bandmates can reach the end of a song, you'll be greeted with one huge free-form jam session.

- There will be a character creation system, and you can create multiple avatars that play different instruments.

- Four themed clothing stores in addition to licensed guitars and pedals and other rock paraphernalia.

- A full set of mo-cap stage movements have been added for each instrument. You can decide whether your vocalist moves like Axel Rose, or stands his ground like Clapton.

- 40 performance venues planned

- All peripherals will be unique to each platform. This isn't the developer's decision. Apparently MS peripherals require special circuit boards.

- You'll be able to craft your own band logo

- The HUD in the screens isn't final but is a good indication of what you can expect

- 4 songs announced in the article, not sure if this is new or old but whatever.
Weezer - Say It Ain't So - Original Master Track
Black Sabbath - Paranoid - Original Master Track
The Who - Won't Get Fooled Again - Original Master Track
Nirvana - In Bloom - Original Master Track


Sorry I can't post photos so my descriptions will have to suffice


Guitars are an exact 3/4 replica of a Fender Strat.

Xplorer guitars will work for 360 owners, but you may not be able to pass on all the new stuff this model has.

Five familiar buttons near the top of the neck, five buttons near the body of the guitar. You will use these new buttons during specially designed solo sections using ONLY hammer ons and pull offs, no having to worry about your strum bar. Signature Fender 5-way switch has been added. By shopping at the in game store you'll be able to purchase several virtual effects pedals such as Flange, Wah, Chorus and Echo. These can be applied during your song by setting the 5 way switch to the desired effect.


There will eventually be a Rock Band branded Mic

Other USB mics will be supported, but Harmonix will probably NOT allow the use of the 360 headset due to its low fidelity. Mics will be usable as tambourines during certain songs.

That's all for mics!


The picture of the drum peripheral in the mag is not final.

It consists of four pads, a kick pedal and legs for the enire unit to stand on. Think of it as a TV dinner tray stand only cooler

Leftmost pad (red) is your snare drum, everything else doubles as toms and cymbals depending on the song.

A set of real wooden drum sticks will ship with the unit.

A piece of the stand can be taken off so that the unit can sit lower, or on a coffee table.

There is a kick pedal

If you play drums in this game on hard or expert, then you're really playing the drums. Apparently you could sit down at a real set and play the same songs.

Guitar Hero am cry   read

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