How do I know this? Well, I live here, and I’m telling you that a good chunk of male high school students and graduates put more effort and more thought into what they wear and how their hair looks than the women here. You can not walk down a street in Japan without seeing a few guys who have spent at least half their weekly income on enough hair products to get their hair to defy gravity in a way that the most androgynous of 80s hair metal bands would be jealous of. And personally, I am sick of it. I want to punch them in the balls just to see if they have them. Frankly, I’m not sure they do. Even if they do, they should give them away because they no longer deserve them.


It’s not entirely their fault though. Its Japan-in-general’s fault, and its obsession with cuteness and style. It’s in the TV here, the movies, the video games and all the related paraphernalia. I’m sorry, but aren’t you guys sick of seeing extraordinarily anorexic guys with arms and legs thinner than pencils wield massively large guns and swords, and have hair that always retains its spikiness no matter what they do? It wouldn’t be a big deal if it happened occasionally, in fact it would be kind of cool in a quirky kind of way. But, All the goddam time?!!! Nothing BUT that?!!


Not only is group-oriented-not-individual-oriented Japan obsessed with cuteness, but it also extremely trend oriented. When Kumi Koda cut off her naval length hair, at least 50% of the high school girl population cut off their hair as well. Fifty fucking percent just went to the salon and chopped off the hair they had been growing for several years. I am sure that is a scientific percentage, but it is one that I thought of because it seemed that way to me. This means that when Japanese youth decide to rebel, they rebel as a group- in exactly the same way. It’s nauseating. In Western countries, you have all the subcultures there, that they have here, each one with its own uniform. The only difference is in Western countries the youth dress according to the music they listen to or the hobbies they are into, and then find friends who are also into the same thing, where as here in Nippon, they dress according to the way their friend does, and then learn to like the same things he or she does. Moreover, when a celebrity decides to make a fashion statement, that then becomes the uniform of the Japanese youth for the next…umm…2 months. Some things however get stuck are continually reinforced by pop-culture. Such as the real life anime hair that most of the high school kids here have.



In America, you get this stuff only occasionally as you buy Japanese anime or video games or see some of the stuff on Adult Swim or what have you, but here one is continually bombarded by it all the time, non-stop here. Japanese creativity cannot escape this form. If anyone writes a genre based story, sure-as-Japan-weirdness, the characters will have big eyes, small mouths and skinny limbs, and hair that defies logic, let alone physics.

You know, before I came here I used to love Anime and Japanese video games like Final Fantasy. Now, I can barely watch them without a vomit impulse. Here “kawaii!!!” is not an adjective or description; it is a heartfelt emotion. They know that whatever they just said “kawaii” to is FUCKING cute!!! They feel it. And that makes the young men here have testicles only technically.

I would absolutely hate Japan, if I didn’t love it for so many more reasons. One of the biggest reasons I love Japan- the chicks here are hot! Or at least they dress like hookers just to go to the grocery store or the post office. More on them next time.