January 28th 2011. My playstation microphone sits morosely. A thin layer of dust has accumulated along its plastic lining. For a brief moment its glaring eye is illuminated by a stroke of sunshine that permeates the window, but all too quickly this fades, and the eye reassumes its sullen, black stare. A stare of vacancy. A stare which yearns for the distant joviality of forgotten laughs and memories. A shudder. Brief and subtle, it ripples through my body. A shudder exclusive to those that have fully realised the fulfilment of an all too devastating prophecy in the eye's sad reflection. The death of online banter.



It is with a heavy heart (but mostly an apologetic grin for making you wade through all the pretentious bulls*** at the start of this post) that I proclaim the 'Death Of My Online Banter'. Indeed, it is only by pondering on the year in retrospect that I have been able to fully comprehend the magnitude of my loss. It seems to me, whilst earlier memories of joyous online gaming still occupy my mind, that there has been precious little to add to my reams of experiences in the year gone by. Although this may seem unimportant to others, gaming, to me, is about sharing experiences with friends, and a vast amount of my enjoyment is often derived from the conversations and 'gaming moments' that only ever happen online. Recently however, in the last 8 months or so, my friends (who I might add, are hardcore gamers) have slowly withdrawn from the gaming world, leaving me in the midst of an inexorable loneliness.



After discussing the matter with some of them, it would seem that they were mostly disinterested in the games that had been released throughout 2010, and this, alongside school work and exams, has engineered their long absence from the online gaming sessions we used to have. This got me thinking. Not since Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare had any of us actually played together properly. Of course, I still go online with others, it just seems to be at much more random intervals that lacked the real excitement of the old days. After considering their point, I would to some extent, have to agree. Matter of opinion is, of course, one thing, but after the online revolution instigated by the COD series, it seems to me that the sheer lack of 'gripping' online experiences has attributed to my regression into the lonely and 'banter-less' experiences of single player campaigns.That's not to say that it hasn't been entertaining. The Uncharted series in particular is one of my most loved adventure games, but this in itself cannot outshine the utterly 'raw' fun of online gaming. At this point, for me, it would be fair to say that no game with an online component has topped the Codding days, baring in mind that I solely game on the PS3.



Perhaps its not these things I have suggested at all. Perhaps it is also the sheer lack of good online banter that exists lately amongst people in general. In the past I thoroughly enjoyed a good tactical chat or just the casual friendliness of people online, however, more recently I feel this has been dominated by mindless screaming or the spamming of lobbies with loud music. However, I must accept that this is possibly due to the wider audiences and so nothing can really be done.

And so finally, it is with a huff and a sigh that I declare that 2010 sucked due to its slow and relentless tirade against online banter. One by one my friends have been squeezed off the online radar and succumbed to 'doing better things with their time'. All that's left for me to do now is dust off my mic in anticipation for the games of 2011, and pray that I can head into that electronic portal one more time with a group of buddies at my hypothetical side. A good year to you all.

P.S. Out of interest, are there any games you particularly enjoy playing with a group of friends? Or maybe a promising upcoming title that you could recommend?

Happy gaming.

*POSSIBLE SPOILERS*

Now i'm no stranger to the building frustration that all gamers experience when they cannot complete a certain level on the new game they have just bought. We spend hours playing, only to fall at the final hurdle when we are confronted with a seemingly impossible task, or a boss that just won't die!! Never was this more apparant then when i got to the final level of Prince Of Persia: Warrior Within on the PS2 on my recent gaming session. Considering myself as one who likes a gaming challenge, I almost always play through any game on the hardest difficulty I can first time round, usually to lengthen the gameplay and keep me interested.




After having quite an exhilarating play-through of the game (i'm a big fan of the whole series), it wasn't until I faced the ending boss Kaileena that I was stopped dead in my tracks. My jolly smile that had been kept within my expression throughout the whole game, had deformed into some sort of contorted, disgusted snarl that was now stricken across my face. This boss was seemingly impossible for me to defeat. I spent hours struggling against her teleportation tactics, and the whirling sandstorms that were impeding me at every roll and acrobatic flip that I managed to achieve. I found myself willing her life bar to deplete; my sword strokes giving the illusion that everytime I struck her, it seemed to increase her life span instead of killing her further. It was now bordering on ludicy. Her health bar may have well as been non-existent in comparison to the amount of damage i was actually inflicting. On one particluar replay, I had her to within an inch of dying, until she teleported, and i was killed instantly with a mere thrust from her blade. As you can imagine, this was like having your soul ripped out by a bastard bunch of polygons that wouldn't die, only to then realise that you are never going to get any closer to completing the level itself; and so with this ridiculous revelation taking hold, I stormed off to simmer down for a while before trying again.

On my return to have another crack at that bitch-of-a-boss, it was here upon that I discovered a true aid that would give me my victory. Metal and Rock music. Oh yes. The wonderful screams and epic guitar solos that so many thousands of people around the globe adore, turned out to be my only ally against the game. Deciding to innocently switch on the song "Stricken" by Disturbed, a true reflector of my current situation, I was taken aback at how much easier the task now seemed. Incredulity threatened to overwhelm me when I realised that I had once again managed to reduce Kaileena's health to the aforementioned level. With the song picking up tempo in the background and my mind demanding my fingers to increase their pace, I somehow pulled off some fancy acrobatics and slew the ghastly biatch with a couple of well placed sword strokes.
Disbelief. I had done it. Aided by the blaring music, my mind focused on the lyrics rather than the actual game, it was as though I had been playing with a glazed and vacant look in my eye, an almost "zombie persona" had been adopted whilst the music worked its magic. Shocked by its successful method, I decided to incorporate the metal into a few other games that I was fazed by...




MGS4 was another wild beast that needed wrangling back to its wicked lair; a lesson needed to be taught to all games that frustrate the fuck out of us gamers. Again the final boss fight on top of the submarine with Liquid Snake as an opponent was proving to be difficult (once more with the hardest difficulty setting adopted). This time though, i was prepared. Flipping over to some "Hell & Consequences" by Stone Sour, the rest was a breeze. With the lyrics strongly embedded in my mind and the controller awash with the sweat of my hardships, a solid flying knee to the face exuded a resounding crunch as it impacted with Liquid's nose. I almost felt a tear welling in the corner of my eye. With a little sniffle of gratitude to the artist for making such a wonderful aid, my face transformed into a beaming smile.




The final test came in the form of the notorious Call Of Duty 4: Modern Warfare. Playing through on veteran difficulty, as anyone will tell you, is no easy task. I was doing fine up until the sniper mission alongside Cpt. Macmillan, where you have to defend the fairground at the end of the level until the helicopter arrives to evacuate the two of you away. Now as I remember, it took me a failed 18 attempts before I left the console in a raving rage complaining about how the physics of the enemies grenades were "all to wrong". But that was before i discovered this wonderful new technique. Skipping over to my gleaming PS3 and giving it a gentle stroke (platonically of course), I slipped in Cod4 and loaded up the level. Now, which artist to choose? After several deliberations, I settled upon the song "Enemy" by Sevendust and started playing. Unbelievable. It worked its magic again. On only the 3rd attempt, I managed to evac myself and the Cpt. out of the hotzone.



Breathing out a long sigh of relief at my accomplishment, I began to consider why this worked. Perhaps it was by chance that i completed the games whilst a metal band was playing. Perhaps it was the tempo and beat of the songs that kept me alert, or perhaps it was by some mystical enchantment that emanated from the lyrics in correspondence to a gamer's frustration.
Whatever it was, it worked. For me anyway. I'm not promising some sort of universal effect, but by playing these particularly hard games alongside musical intervention, well... I beat them. All I will say is thanks to the genius who first battered a drum's face in and screamed at the top of his lungs. It sure as hell helped me.