Everyone on the internets knows about Jack Thompson. Say what you want about him, the guy's the purest definition of the word crazy.

Then there's Rockstar Games, a company famous for making games that are usually pretty good, but also usually celebrate the darker side of humanity.

Jack Thompson, no matter what anybody says of him, no matter how many of his lawsuits are dismissed outright, even ridiculed. But why does he keep doing it?

The answer is obvious. He's being Paid by Take 2 to drum up cheap controversy and advertising for their games! SCANDALOUS!

Think about it! Even before Rockstar's Bully came out, Thompson was spreading scandal. Or should I say, ADVERTISING!

It costs an awful lot to put a commercial for a game on TV, doesn't it? But how much does it cost to file a lawsuit and get gamers' panties in a knot? LESS THAN ADS COST!

FEAR MONGERING! The mainstream media is painfully desperate for garbage that fills the 24 hour news networks. They demand CHEAP NEWS STORIES with NO DEPTH so they can get ADVERTISING DOLLARS!

BUY ROCKSTAR GAMES! Any news is good news, and bad news is definitely good news. That whole Hot Coffee thing? PLANNED FROM THE START! Ignore the massive drop in Take 2 stock! NORMAL PRACTICES!

Wake up, people! Jack Thompson is working on Take 2's dime! CONSPIRACY!

-The preceeding is a work of satire. Anyone who takes this nonsense seriously should be beaten with reeds. Or maybe with Jack Thompson.