Okay, so at this point we've reached the end of the Really Good Games That Come Out This Year™ and now it's time to start nitpicking them to death so we can get that dreadful Game of the Year nonsense going.
The Contenders: Bioshock, Mass Effect, Ratchet and Clank, Mario Galaxy, Rock Band, Halo 3, Zelda DS, Assassin's Creed.
The preceding list was decided by two important factors. 1. They're popular and lots of people bought them, and B. I played some of them.
Right.
Bioshock:Having played System Shock 2 and BioForge (which, upon recollection sucked horse balls), I'm biased towards the game. The controls are great, the story is strong, and the gameplay elements like killing Big Daddies are great fun. On the other hand, Yahtzee already covered the bad, so let's leave it there.
Mass Effect:I'm about 5 hours in but I'm pretty unimpressed. The design is great, the characters are interesting, and the gunfights remind me of Gears of War which is always good. However, the random trolling through planets is dull, the Mako control reminds me of the Puma, er, Warthog from Halo (it still looks like a Puma), and I haven't gotten to the sex scene yet. So let's leave it there.
Ratchet and Clank: I don't own a PS3, and I only know about 3 people who do, but those that own one got Ratchet and Clank. From the demo at Fry's I found it was a blast to play with incredible graphics and a supposedly funny storyline. But having played previous Ratchet games I assume it's more of the same shooting and platforming like Jak and Daxter with a chaingun that shoots smaller chainguns that shoot tiny chainsaws. So let's leave it there.
Super Mario Galaxy:I'm not getting this until Christmas because I thought it would be heartwarming to get a new Mario game from my parents because they last one they got me was nearly 20 years ago and God I'm old. But from demos and opinions from friends, it will apparently bring me to a new form of self-actualization, and after playing it I will find my perfect job, my true love, and live happily ever having naughty, naughty sex until my head is placed in a jar and stuck in a museum in the 31st century. So let's leave it there.
Rock Band:Having mastered Guitar Hero a couple years ago the guitar sections are no longer a problem. But the drum peripheral is a treat to the nth degree and until I can beat the hardest song on expert I will keep my roommates up all night. The ability to create your own avatar is great too and I will not rest until I achieve the maximum amount of boobage on my hot anime rock chick. On the other hand, the guitar sections are pretty run-of-the-mill, the song list repeats a few GHIII songs and includes both Fallout Boy AND Coheed and Cambria, which takes it down a notch. So let's leave it there.
Halo 3: This game was pretty boring and I can't remember why I bought it since I don't do multiplayer outside of the office, but in the office my buddy Josh always wins so it's a moot point. So let's leave it there.
Zelda DS:I included this not because I played it for more than 30 minutes waiting for my plane to get to the terminal, but because it's where I get to puff out my chest and complain that Phoenix Wright never gets the coverage or the respect it deserves. The Phoenix Wright series is the pinnacle of funny, smart, entertaining portable fun and if you haven't bought any of these games then you should be locked up in a small box filled with horny weasels. So let's leave it there.
Assassin's Creed:No doubt the most controversial on the list, the ratings are all over the place with opinions ranging from the second coming of Christ© to a pile of hot steamy ass. My opinion is that it's fun to run around, climb up things, murder assholes, and be as sneaky as I want to be. Of course I can't play it because my roommates have taken control of my 360 to play Rock Band. So I'll leave it there.
And the Winner of Game of the Year: Kane and Lynch: Dead Men! I have nothing bad to say about this game because Eidos has lined my pockets with some weird form of nonsense money they call Euros. The piles of cash have warmed my cynical little heart to their crappy game and anyone who says otherwise should be fired.
Subnote: That last bit was an ironic musing. I actually think Okami should be game of the year even though it came out in 2006 but goddamn that was a good game.
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Phoenix Wright is a great game. I need to pick up the sequels. Also, holy shit! Bioforge. I've been trying to remember the name of that game for years. I agree, it did indeed suck horse balls in hindsight.
THE GAMEGOBLIN GAME is the best game of the year. I give it 1 chair out of like half of something else. Oh yes, and I know first hand that it's the greatest game ever because I made it.
It only sold one copy but that was to myself and it cost 1 million dollars give or take a few. I almost fainted on sight of the awesome that I bestowed onto myself. Seriously, it was an honor to play this game.
It has the best aspects of Bad Dudes, Forza Motorsports 2, and Day of the Tentacle and pits you against so many enemies at one time that when in gameplay you can only see like 1000 guys at a time because those guys are as big as semitrucks and in reality there are a billion-something enemies behind them. You start playing and your like "Oh shit this is awesome! Man those creatures with like trillions of polygons are gonna kill me cause they're awesome!" And then they kill one and they see like a billion-something guys behind that one dead creature and then your like "Holy shit! This is so awesome!" The game then proceeds to blow you as you drive your Ferrari through hordes of creatures with Japanese samurai killing enemies all around you in Dynasty warrior fashion except like a billion times cooler whilst solving a skill-testing puzzle with two partners that are back in time while helicopters proceed to shoot you from the sky and your all like "OH HELLS NAW" and you summon Seaking or something and everything dies. Then you win.
Also, 360 exclisif. That is all.
Gamegoblin: I agree with your ideas and would like to subscribe to your newsletter.
Gladly. You have to pay $5 though. Canadian. And it'll only feature pictures of cats and the arrogance I possess in text form, but by all means, just send your soul (plus personal info) to
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oh shit i fail. It's 3:00 and I'm bored.
Not Ratchet and Clank. Trust me, it really is more of the same. Gets old after a while. As for the actual GotY, I have no fucking clue. Assassin's Creed is a good game, but it's unfinished and is not even worth your 60 bucks.
Yeah, I’d pick Warhawk over Ratchet & Clank Future as the PS3 GOTY (then again, I’m only on like the third planet in R&C). As for GOTY overall...I dunno. I haven’t played any of the 360 candidates (Mass Effect, BioShock, The Orange Box) or the Wii candidate (Super Mario Galaxy — I watched my friend play it for an hour, though, and it looked amazing).
@ Lemon: Woot Woot! The best licensed game ever. Better than Goldeneye in fact. That's what CashWh0re.com told me anyway. They bought ads for it there.
BIOSHOCK.
Oh yeah, I forgot the Orange Box. But I played Portal and Episode II on PC so they don't count for some reason I don't know. Valve has enough on its plate, not to mention the giant piles of money they get for passing out games. Steam is genius, I wish I'd have gotten in on some of that.
Someone report to me when Beyond Good and Evil hits Steam. That's 14.95 well spent in my opinion.
I vote Galaxy.
Also, I hate Phoenix Wright.
Bring on the goddamn weasels!
what no uncharted?
portal, team fortress 2 and Call of Duty 4.
all the rest were b.s., especially Bioshock, pretending to be RPG with storyline and it was just a repetitive FPS.