It's been a while my friends. I am past burnt out. I'm way past it. But I promised someone a chapter this week. And I will do it again, and again, until there is an end - the end I've been thinking of from the moment I conceived of this story. I miss all of you. Sorry I haven't been around.
“Epic, my friend” Crime said after resting. “We will look for the Designer in Ravensdale because that is obviously the most dangerous place to be. The final boss must be somewhere around there.”
“Sir,” Epic said. “You have no powers to speak of. May I suggest you just stay here in North Bend and live out your life here in this world? What would be so wrong with that?”
“No powers? Hah!
” Crime’s booming voice pierced Epic’s ears into his brain and killed him in one shot.
“Shit…” Crime said as Epic fell. “I was just trying to show you what my powers were.”
Crime hiked to Ravensdale to find the famed Designer.
“Stay here,” Corduroy said to Ashley, “I’m going to kill them in one minute!”
Corduroy approached the crowd of gangsters but was headed off by the man with an eye patch.
“Tiger!” He said – all one-eyed-like. “Tiger! Tiger!”
“What the fuck is this?” Corduroy said.
The eye-patch man approached. His body was cut out of stone and rippling with muscle. He wore only shorts and displayed the huge scar across his chest proudly. One of his minions spoke up.
“He cannot speak normally!” The minion said. “But, he is a street fighter of unparalleled skill. He has the eye of the Tiger and if he had the other one there would be two. Bow to him, your master. If you do not, you… will… die.”
Corduroy swung his bo staff around a few times and told him to come get some. His opponent swung his fists all over the place in a whirl of impressive martial arts moves. He said ‘Tiger’ once every other swing. Mostly he started dancing, bobbing, and weaving. There was a chant starting from the crowd of gangsters.
“When I say Jonathan, you say Holmes.” The crowd cheered. “JONATHAN. HOLMES. JONATHAN. HOLMES.”
“Tiger uppercut!” Jonathan said as he flew up into Corduroy’s jaw.
Upon impact Corduroy echoed a grunt and fell to the ground. Ashley ran to him and shook him so he didn’t fall asleep or get knocked out.
“Round two!” Ashley said. “Fight!”
Corduroy threw his staff down and went for a different approach. He mocked his opponent by doing fake martial arts, but Jonathan just crossed his arms and laughed.
“Let’s go Jonathan, let’s go!” The crowd bellowed.
Corduroy jumped towards Jonathan and upon landing waited until he was in range for some quick punches to his Jonathan’s knees. Bit by bit Jonathan was tricked into walking too close or exactly into jumping range. Either way, Corduroy was able to nickel and dime him by hitting his legs to death. The punches were swift and quick. And though it was a short ranged attack, Corduroy’s footwork won the day. And Jonathan fell.
Jonathan rose up again to fight round three. But Corduroy, before Jonathan could stand completely, smashed his bow staff into his head. Jonathan’s skull caved in completely and splattered his minions with his brains. One of them picked up his good eye, and cried. The crowd was silenced, and angered. Some of them crept up on Corduroy.
“No fatalities!” Someone in the crowd said. “No fatalities! No fair! You cheated!”
The mob approached them but saw behind Corduroy was little Ashley Davis with her nightmare creatures behind her. She carried a notepad where she kept all of her drawings. And they all came off the page hungry and waiting for a snack. The crowd darted this way and that, trying to avoid the monsters but no one made it out alive. They were all eaten, one by one by disembodied drawings that crushed and swallowed their bones.
“Good girl.” Corduroy said.
Elsa walked with Anthony to find a body to sacrifice.
“How about that handsome beast over there?” Elsa said.
“He looks perfect.” Anthony said.