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4:43 AM on 08.28.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 24: Beyond

It's finished!!!!!!

Before we start, let me say that PAX has been amazing. I had the honor of reading this chapter to quite a few Destructoid members that were in the story. I wonder if people I don't know, like Anthony and Jim even know about this! But yeah, they were at PAX and I finally got to tell a bunch of the Destructoid staff that I am a big fan of their work. Athough, technically Anthony isn't at Destructoid anymore - I was able to thank him for HAWP.

Not much has to be said though, I guess - other than: I love you guys. Thanks for reading my story. Now I'm off to pursue a personal project. I'll still have time for blogging, but my next big project is a video game project. It's about time to get serious about finishing something that you guys can actually play.

Anthony pulled out a pistol he got from Handsome Beast and aimed it at Kraid. Kraid didn’t move. He stood there focusing on Anthony, waiting for the end. Fame Designer crossed his arms and waited. They all heard Alice huddled up in the dirt sobbing. She looked as if she had given up, but turned her head up to Anthony and spoke.

“You can’t kill Fame Designer.” She said weeping. “Bullets won’t hurt him.”

“Woah, hold on.” Fame said. “We don’t really know that for sure.”

Kraid reached for a classy hat slowly while Anthony’s attention was away. He had saved a few hats for the battle, just in case classiness would change something. Kraid had nothing left to lose. He pulled one out, and Anthony noticed.

“Oh hell no.” Anthony said as he pulled the trigger twice sending two bullets into Kraid’s chest.

The hat flew miraculously towards Anthony’s skull. The hat suctioned itself to Anthony, making a hat and mask combo that looked quite awkward. Kraid felt the silence of death envelope him as blood and stomach acids mixed together inside him. The pain was excruciating and he dropped to the ground. His eyes fixed on Anthony. He tried to stay awake long enough to see the effects of what he had done, but he quickly went unconscious. The last thing he was able to see was Anthony ripping away the hat and mask trying to contain his sanity. Perhaps he had done some good.


Anthony experienced a flood of guilt and memories of his life, and became instantly burdened. Kraid’s classy attack made Anthony sweat thinking of all the thousands of people he had murdered to get the power that he had achieved. He knew in his mind that he was merely inside a game waiting to be beaten, but now his heart was full of regret. He thought of the life that he could have had with Ashley. He could have been friends with Beyamor and his sister instead of killing them to meet his ends. The world he lived in was so colorful, and he had taken it all for granted.

“My head!” Anthony screamed. “I’m sorry Ashley! It was my fault! My fault!”

He put a gun to his own head. This would stop the pain. He breathed hard, in and out, trying to build the nerve fast before he lost it. Fame Designer squinted and tried to puzzle out what was happening. Alice ducked away and raised her hands up between her and Anthony.

“Wait! Stop!” Fame Designer howled.

After pulling the trigger he felt the force of the gun blast away from his head, but there was no bullet. Maybe it was a miracle. Fame Designer’s head exploded with brain matter spraying in the opposite direction. Anthony felt a strange sensation because of seeing a mirror image of what he was doing to himself.

It actually didn’t look like Fame Designer suffered that much. Anthony shot himself in the head once again and the force of the bullet was partially dampened by his thick skin. His head stayed intact and the bullet lodged itself in his frontal lobe. He was wrong about not suffering. He felt unbelievable pain. Upon shooting himself successfully three more times, he finally keeled over. Anthony lay on the ground dead with his leg still twitching for a few moments more.

For a while Alice did nothing in particular. Her friends were all lying around her. She closed her eyes so she couldn’t see them, but the scene she imagined was much worse. So she opened her eyes back up to cry and look at the dirt and the few plants that were growing out of the dry dirt. She stayed there for a while, until she felt something other than sadness.

James crouched down to her taking her up into his arms. They embraced for a while thankful that they weren’t completely alone. For both of them the feeling was bittersweet. There was still a game that had to play out. Something had to happen. James suspected that out of all the people on the list they had, that they were the only ones left. James knew that something had to give.

“James, let’s go home.” Alice was strangely calm. “I can’t be here anymore.”

“Alice…” James suspected. “Do you get the feeling that this isn’t over?”

“Yes, but… I don’t want you to die. I don’t want anyone else to die.” Alice pleaded.

“We’re part of a game.” James said. “There could be a time limit right? It makes sense. From everything I’ve heard in this crazy place… I think I have to sacrifice myself to let you survive.”

The ground shook for a moment. They looked around to see if there was anything causing it around them. Another tremor under them put them off balance. The shaking became more violent until finally from far away they saw a creature pop its head out of the earth. The top of it looked as if it were a floppy white wizard hat. Alice and James started to run away from the creature but James looked back to see what it was periodically. The monster had tentacles pulling it from out of hell.

The giant squid emerged. It was so tall that it touched the clouds. It seemed to be looking around for them. Its eyes throbbed like water balloons. The enormous eyes had trouble shifting this way and that, but still were able to find the two survivors. Compared to the monster, James and Alice were merely ants to be stepped on.

In the chaos Alice and James dropped to the ground. They looked at each other thoughtfully for a moment. What James had suggested earlier seemed more relevant now. Time was of the essence. If, in fact, this was all just a game – then James knew what he had to do, and Alice knew as well. She stood up and balanced herself against the vibrations in the ground. The squid moved quickly towards them. Its squid arms destroyed whole towns that were in its way.

“I’ll do it!” Alice said confidently.

“Be quick.” James said. “I wish you luck.”

“Goodbye James.” Alice whispered.

Her blade cut deep through James and severed his head. It rolled down into the sand and his body went limp and fell forwards. This did not stop the beast from approaching. But instead of running, Alice stood her ground and decided to fight the monster – though it seemed to be an insurmountable task.

An explosion of fire blew off one of the arms of the squid. Alice covered her mouth in surprise and spun around to look for where it came from. A man emerged from a tank. His tank was one out of what seemed to be a thousand tank battalions. There were so many tanks around that it seemed absolutely ridiculous for them all to appear out of nowhere. Clearly the man in the tank was approaching her and saluting her at the same time. The tanks launched missiles, cannons, and machine gun rounds into the beast. It seemed to push the creature back, but it seemed to be able to take the firepower for quite a while.

“Miss Alice Dixon!” The man said. “Congratulations! You are our winner!”

“I won?” Alice asked.

“You are THE winner!” The man reinforced.

“What the hell is all this?!” Alice yelled. “Who are you?!”

“The name is Handy!” He said. “It’s time for you to come home Miss Alice Dixon!”

“Home?” Alice said.

“Miss Alice Dixon!” Handy grinned. “It looks like we’re having Qalamari for dinner!”

Handy saluted her once more, and threw his arm in the direction of the monster and pointed at it. He gave the command to fire at will. The exploding missiles and bombs lit up the morning sky like a fireworks display. Fire and smoke enveloped the creature. And as the creature toppled over Alice’s vision got cloudy. The whole scene felt like a dream now. She wondered if her whole life had been a dream. She thought of how grand it would be if she woke up to see her friends alive and well.


Kellen hopped into work. Earlier he received an automated message on his phone saying that the test game was complete and that there had emerged a winner. He took a seat and turned on his desktop machine. Three monitors instantly flashed on and he navigated to the results of testing. Alice had been the last survivor. Kellen was ecstatic. This meant big things for their company and he felt a swelling of happiness and pride in his chest. Never in his life was he so motivated to have the title of tech support. He felt responsible for the lives of his test subjects.

It was time to wake them all up. First, Fame Designer stepped out of his module and was informed of who ended up winning. Fame, in his excitement, woke everyone else up and gave everyone refreshments. Everyone was told to gather for a meeting in the break room. One by one they gathered. They all met, tired and drained from being in those awkward pods that they had to lay in while the game played out.

“This has been the first beta test of our technology and marks the first time we’ve entered friends and family.” Fame Designer said. “We will give you compensation and a complimentary dinner later on tonight for your hard work, and we would like you to fill out a survey. The survey is a bit long, but will bring quality to our products in the future.”

“I have a question.” Hugh said. “How come my powers were short circuited by your powers? I mean isn’t it kind of imbalanced in the gameplay if you have a power based on someone’s memory? Because it seemed like you retained yours.”

“Yes, of course, thank you Hugh.” Fame turned a shade of red. “How embarrassing, but yes, this is a known bug that I totally forgot to fix in this build of the software. Rest assured that it will be fixed for the home version.”

“But,” Hugh mentioned. “You had like three lives worth of information, not two – which would have made more sense.”

“Hmm…” Fame Designer said. “Um… I don’t know. That’s weird. I’ll have to look into that.”

“So who won?” Mr. Andy Dixon asked.

“Well… You aren’t going to believe this.” Fame said. “It was your daughter… Alice.”

The air in the room went out. All of them looked at each other. Andy’s wife entered the room with Miss Alice Dixon in her arms. Everyone had trouble believing what they were being told. A little baby had managed to survive every obstacle she was up against.

“Parts of your characters were randomized. Alice’s age ended up being much older than her true age. But we had code that tried to compensate for her inexperience.” Fame Designer explained. “We knew that there was a chance that your daughter would not take to the intelligence engine that we designed for taking care of different age groups. I mean… originally that code was written to give a boost to children that were around five to ten years old. It equalizes difficulty for everyone, and creates a balanced playing field.”

“So…” Mr. Andy Dixon said. “What does that mean?”

“It means that I believe much more in the human spirit than when I started this project.” Fame Designer said. “Our technology is built to effect ‘intelligence’ not wisdom. Just look into her eyes… She is thinking… She has a will. She has dreams. Her wisdom and her courage came from inside. It means, Andy, that your little girl is very special.”

Andy and his wife looked down at Alice in awe. The rest of the group followed suit. They took pictures of her with a stuffed toy crowbar and dressed with a salmon colored robe. They smiled and played with her before it was time to go. James extended a finger to her and she grabbed at it and shook it. Wolf held her for a moment and bounced her, making her laugh. Elsa stood up when she got a message from Mongoose telling her he was just about to park outside the building.

“Thank you, all of you.” Fame Designer said as they left. “It was a pleasure.”

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23   read

5:56 AM on 08.24.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 23: Death

Just one more chapter to go. I will be posting the last chapter on Friday, the first day of PAX. I hope you all have enjoyed the story. Forgive me once more for the lack of art, but we have to get this story done! I promise more art for the last chapter, because it is kind of required. You'll find out why. Those who are coming to Seattle for PAX weekend: I will have something special for you guys Thursday. I noticed there are two chapters with the word death in it - but I guess it fits. Why so much death? I mean I guess I'm uh... I guess I'm a pretty sick guy.

James didn’t have a moment to lose. Alice had run away from the fight, and perhaps that was for the best. Corduroy and Wolf were down. Anthony and his girl were steadily approaching and Elsa was right on top of him. Elsa looked down on James sizing him up. His sword was out of the ordinary. It was a curved blade with a coin separating it from the hilt. Elsa knew his power was in his luck. And they knew her power too.

As they fought, aspects of their powers became more and more clear. James seemed to have less skill as a swordsman, but could still block and dodge every one of her attacks. Sometimes he didn’t even mean to. She swung her sword in a stabbing motion towards him with the grace of a perfect action. He would always make a successful block in return. James tripped on a rock, falling backwards. His head tipped back and evaded Elsa’s slash. He could see the edge of the blade an inch away from his eyes.

He whirled back at her with fierce strikes that seemed to be blocked easily by Elsa’s ability to parry his weapon with supreme effectiveness. Her blade seemed to act as a part of her, and every action she made seemed perfectly timed and delivered. James continued to stab at her and part of his blade came towards her and reflected sunlight into her eyes. In her momentary blindness she let one attack from James come though. She yelped as James’s lucky blade struck her leg.

Elsa took a knee and grabbed James’s sword with her other hand. She stabbed James three times before he was able to yank his sword away. Elsa’s fingers were severed and dropped to the ground. She screamed and yelled for Anthony in a rage, knowing only he could heal her. Seeing her fingers on the ground collecting dirt horrified her. She had seen so much blood, but never her own.

James held his breath. He couldn’t tell if he was hit in any vital areas. He hoped that his luck was still with him as he fell. James slowly crept over to Wolf. He grabbed at his helmet, shaking it as he himself lost blood. Wolf was dead. James saw Hugh running to help as he passed out from blood loss.


AlphaDeus left James to the fight with Elsa. His luck would save him. It always did. AlphaDeus’s piano blade hummed and waited for commands. He swung it around and placed the heavy blade on his knee and knelt down. With his other hand he pressed three fingers into the keys for a chord. It was just a chord to start out with. It made the sword able to tear flesh easier.

He ran towards Anthony and the girl that was with him. The girl stepped out in front and pointed to AlphaDeus summoning a dog towards him. The manifestation of a puppy bolted towards AlphaDeus and grew larger as it thundered towards him. AlphaDeus stopped in his tracks and knelt to one knee again changing his chord to match with pure energy. He didn’t know if this was the right course of action, but it was his best guess.

The dog lunged at AlphaDeus’s neck and opened its jaws. AlphaDeus cut the monster in half dispersing the energy. He had such an affinity for music that he was able to tell what tones would be the best for cutting through certain materials. His best guesses were usually right. Plus, the sword wasn’t dull. It could achieve a normal cut, and the vibrations in the sword increased the damaging effects. The vibrations could saw through almost any material.

“Lenigod! No! You bastard!” Ashley was hysterical. “I’m going to fucking kill you!”

Ashley ran towards AlphaDeus summoning devils, spirits, and monsters from every story book and every horror story she had ever heard of. She had never hated someone so much in her life. But that made some sense because she couldn't remember a whole lot of anything. It was like her memories were black. She only remembered her childhood. Right now she wasn’t getting what she wanted. She was not able to summon Lenigod for some reason, and she was throwing a tantrum because of it.

The demons were so vast in number that they shrouded AlphaDeus. They all seemed to swoop in at him at once. He dropped the sword on the ground leaving two of his hands free. He slammed his fingers down onto the piano sword and in an area of effect an explosion of energy dispersed the demons. Ashley was the only one left, standing still and dumbfounded by the amazing counter-attack. AlphaDeus spun around and sliced Ashley in two leaving her legs standing for a moment before they too dropped into the sand.

“Oh my god! Ashley! Oh god no!” Anthony wailed in misery.

He had only been steps away from protecting his loved one, but she had been too confident in her attack. His emotions raged, but he was able to keep his composure. There were plenty of times when people he cared about had to die. They all had to die for a greater purpose. Maybe her death was for the best. At least her blood was not on his hands. Still, his spirit was vengeful. Anthony confronted AlphaDeus with his mask on, and his katana in-hand.

“You…” Anthony marked AlphaDeus.

AlphaDeus knelt to strike another chord. He swung immediately afterwards and Anthony easily blocked. The piano sword shattered Anthony’s katana into pieces. AlphaDeus’s piano sword followed straight through into Anthony’s shoulder. Anthony’s flesh, however, stopped the blade from even cutting through the first few layers of skin. Anthony had survived for years changing his age, becoming younger. Doing this caused his natural body to evolve a superior toughness. He never gained any bulk, but his muscle tone and skin toughness endured – leaving him a near impenetrable thick skin.

Anthony used his superior strength to take a jab at AlphaDeus’s throat. AlphaDeus felt his neck crack and cave into itself. Anthony jabbed at his neck again with the webbing of his hand. AlphaDeus covered his throat with his own hands trying to cough, but there wasn’t any air coming out. Anthony had sealed his air passages shut and brought his neck muscles into a spasm. AlphaDeus felt a tingle in his spine and dropped to the dirt. He felt dizzy and couldn’t hold onto his consciousness. AlphaDeus past out and before too long he died from lack of oxygen.


“Go!” Hugh said. “Protect Alice!”

Kraid ran off to tend to Alice. She had run off after huddling over Wolf in the middle of the battle. He ran to go make sure she was alright, but not a moment later he found her being held captive by a well dressed man. Alice struggled to get away from him but couldn’t escape his grasp.

“Kraid, don’t come closer!” Alice screamed. “He can’t be hurt!”

“What the hell?” Kraid said.

He took a moment to think, and started backing away. Kraid ran back to the battle to retrieve Hugh. In the distance he saw some people already down. James had just fallen and Elsa struggled to keep her composure. Kraid saw part of Elsa’s hand completely torn off and became slightly sick at the sight of it. Hugh walked slowly up to Elsa with his bat. She swung her sword wildly at him, but he came back at her finger stumps with the bat. Elsa shrieked, feeling massive amounts of pain.

Hugh’s weapon spoke to him. He knew that if the bat hit Elsa’s hand in such a way, that he could amplify the pain in her hand with almost no effort at all. The baseball bat told him this. And the next event wasn’t as painful, but completely lethal. The baseball bat told him that a simple strike to the temple could actually fracture her skull in five vulnerable places. It was Hugh’s way of telling the future. The object told him to raise his arm in a certain way, to bring his weapon down to a certain place, to connect at an exact destination, and all the way down using a precise amount of force.

Her skull exploded with pressure from the blow. Her eyes bled in her final moments. She remembered her friends and her family from long ago. She thought about how much wrong she had done to people. She had lost her husband Mongoose so long ago, and never recovered. And now she’s here and her skull didn’t seem to stay in the same places anymore. She thought of God and Heaven. Elsa wondered if there was anything else beyond.

“Why…” Elsa said as she collapsed.

“Hugh!” Kraid waived is arms, trying to get his attention.

Fame Designer approached with Alice, keeping her in his hands as a hostage. Hugh ran towards Alice to help her. He came up to him and searched for possible weak spots. The baseball bat told him of many areas that could strike Fame Designer, but the bat gave him a word of warning. It seemed like no matter what the bat said he could do, that there was no damage being achieved.

“You can’t hurt him with that!” Alice yelled.

“What can I do!?” Hugh said.

“I don’t know!” Alice responded.

“Hahahaha! This is – awesome!” Fame Designer said excited to see what happened next.

“Let’s see what kind of powers you have.” Hugh said.

He risked touching Fame Designer’s skin to retrieve what might be valuable information on how to kill him. Everyone has weaknesses, and Fame Designer wouldn’t be an exception. But, when he touched him, he was filled with much more history than he had ever received from a human being. The one main reason not to try to extract information from humans was that they held a long history. It never was life threatening until now. Fame Designer seemed to have two or even three lives of complete history.

Hugh took on too much information. He tried sifting through it like they were files. Fame Designer’s history showed that once upon a time, everyone being killed here today was once friends in another life previous to this one. There were many levels of reality beyond this, and perhaps that meant that this life was simply precursor to the rest of their lives in another world. Hugh felt comfort in this as the gigantic parade of data short circuited his brain. Hugh’s neurotransmitters shut down completely causing him to die inside a coma only a few seconds later.

Fame Designer stood there amazed trying to figure out what exactly Hugh’s power could have been. But he continued to walk towards the remaining few survivors. Kraid stumbled to the outside of the group, trying to stay away from weapons. Fame Designer threw Alice down into the dirt, preparing for a final confrontation. Anthony rose from Ashley’s body with a new found motivation to murder people.

Alice looked around to see most of her friends dead. She laid there in the sand and cried for them. She paid no attention to the other people standing. Seeing Wolf there unmoving was enough to shatter her will. James was also lying there in the sand with multiple stab wounds from Elsa’s sword.

The three of them stood there for a while trying to make decisions on how to proceed. Anthony seemed to be the only one who could fight. Fame Designer stood in wait. Kraid didn’t necessarily want to fight either of them, and hoped that they would fight each other first. But he wasn’t as lucky as James.

“I’ll take care of this one first.” Anthony said, pointing to Kraid and turning to Fame Deisgner. “Then I’ll take care of you.”

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22   read

3:30 PM on 08.22.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 22: Crossroads

Happy Monday Destructoid. The story is all falling into place. Two more chapters left. Not much to say right now. No art this week because... First, no new characters. Second... Action scenes are hard. I'll have to think of something to insert art-wise later. Enjoy!

James thought of strategy. He had a very bad feeling about the meeting in Silent Hill. It was only a matter of time until they found out once and for all what the answer to the mystery of the Greenvale killer. It was Anthony behind it all, if they were to believe The Comedian. But everything he said was too likely considering the facts. Anthony’s powers fit the bill. Fame Designer and Ashley were the only people on the list that he didn’t know about. James suspected they fell into the equation somewhere. The first thing to do, however, was to find Anthony.

“What are we going to do if we find them?” Kraid said. “I’m not sure that I can help. Making people classy is what I do. I don’t kill people. I’m not great in battle.”

“Then continue to do what you’ve been doing.” James said. “Give support from the back and protect Alice.”

“Hey!” Alice exclaimed. “I can fight!”

“Forgive me m’lady.” Wolf pleaded. “I would never forgive myself if you were hurt. Please let us handle things. Be ready to run if all is lost.”

“I won’t run.” Alice said. “No way…”

“Over there.” Hugh said. “What is that?”

They all looked over to see another group approaching. Corduroy Turtle was in front. A girl walked alongside Anthony. She seemed to be happy and smiling, looking at Anthony more than she was looking at anything else. And there was another girl wearing Elsa’s clothes.

“That’s… Elsa?” Hugh suggested on closer inspection.

“Anthony changed her.” James whispered under his breath.

Hugh widened his eyes. His head turned to James quickly. James’s whole body tensed up. On instinct he drew his sword. Hugh turned back to the other group with his baseball bat in hand. Wolf drew his sword. AlphaDeus turned on a sound device connected to his sword. The piano sword hummed. Alice backed away keeping a hand on her sword hilt, and Kraid followed her closely.

The other group had their weapons out already. James noticed Anthony’s katana. It fit the description completely. Beyamor’s case had been solved. Everything made sense now. As the four of them walked closer Anthony fastened a half black and half white mask to his face. It was just as Wolf had described. It was the mask that had driven Winged Kraby mad.

Anthony’s group stopped. Corduroy still walked in front. He carried his bo staff forwards and pointed it at Wolf. Corduroy called him forwards. James shook his body to release tension. A one on one battle without any negotiations seemed like a strange move. Wolf knew it was personal. Corduroy was young now, ready to fight the well armored knight. Wolf turned to Alice and looked at her for a moment. In his mind and in his heart, he said goodbye to her. Alice’s eyes shined with worry.

“Have at you!” Wolf yelled in Corduroy’s direction.

Corduroy Turtle leapt forwards and ran towards Wolf. Wolf took long strides but moved slowly in Turtle’s direction. Neither side moved other than the two fighters stepping into the battle. Wolf took the first swing and chopped horizontally at Corduroy, swiping at him like he was using a baseball bat. Wolf’s sword clanged against Corduroy’s force field. The energy from the shield crackled and reformed. Wolf’s arm stung, and as he grabbed his arm Corduroy slammed Wolf’s face with a wooden staff.

Wolf lay on the ground, dazed. Blood drained from his suit. With his tactile telekinetic powers he rose again effortlessly. Carrying weight was his specialty. In his old age, his powers were weaker. Anthony saw to that long ago. But he could still use his will to push further. Wolf’s footsteps surrounded themselves with blood. Corduroy’s weapon was surrounding itself with the energy shield.

Corduroy stepped sideways to dodge Wolf’s attack. He dodged quickly enough to take one more swipe at Wolf’s weapon, knocking it and Wolf’s arm away and exposing Wolf’s chest armor. Wolf stumbled backwards and took another shot in the center of his armor from Corduroy’s blunt weapon. The energy from Corduroy’s weapon shot right through Wolf’s armor and stopped his heart. Wolf held his ground for a moment. Bit by bit, darkness was clouding the outsides of his eyes. Wolf fell to his knees.

In an attempt to end the battle, Corduroy whipped his bo staff around a few times before bringing it down on Wolf. The blow from the staff shattered Wolf’s armor and fractured the bones in his arm. The arm had blocked the death strike and Wolf pushed his hand past the force field. Wolf grabbed Corduroy’s neck. His heart continued to beat slowly as he pulled Corduroy closer.

“Shit.” Elsa said, spitting onto the ground.

“Get him!” Anthony said angrily.

“No!” Alice screamed as she pulled away from Kraid.

Alice ran towards Wolf with her sword now drawn. She jumped past James who tried to stop her. Elsa sprinted towards Wolf with blurring speed. Corduroy tried to pull away, but the more he pulled the more his neck separated from his body. He took his bo staff and furiously chopped down on Wolf’s arm, severing the limb from Wolf’s torso. But wolf had already driven his own sword past Corduroy’s armor again.

“No, no no, wait…” Corduroy pleaded.

“The slow blade penetrates the shield.” Wolf said.

Wolf’s blade sank through Corduroy’s suit and through his rib cage. Elsa saw the blade emerge from Corduroy’s back. Corduroy struggled to heave air into the punctured lung, but only blood seemed to enter it. And as the blood entered his other lung he could no longer breathe. Corduroy twitched and his torso shook. His eyes were wide and bloodshot, trying to stay around for a moment longer. Corduroy thought of his destiny. He fell on the ground, puncturing Wolf’s sword deeper and at a different awkward angle. Corduroy fell asleep and then he died.

Elsa, finally stepping over Wolf, saw Alice coming. James was following closely behind. Before Elsa could stab Wolf to death, Alice covered Wolf with her body. Elsa hesitated for a moment before deciding to kill Alice first. And in that moment of hesitation, James was able to crouch under Elsa and block her attack. Their swords clanged together and Alice winced. Alice felt death looming and thought that maybe she had been lucky to be alive at that moment.

“Alice…” Wolf said. “M’lady… Please. You have to run now. I fear this will end with all of us dying. I… am dying. Please. Alice… Save yourself.”

Alice hugged Wolf and cried into his armor. Her tears dripped onto his face and he smiled. He hoped she would listen to his words. Alice rose from the bloody heap of armor and swallowed her fears to run off and away from both of the groups. Elsa and James started to fight one on one, and everyone else seemed to edge in closer to the fight.

It hadn’t been even one minute before Alice ran into another man approaching the battle. He wore a tie. His shirt and slacks looked awkward walking on land that resembled a desert. Sand blew across his shirt and got in his pockets. His tie would rarely hang where it was supposed to. She swiped him with her sword and cut his shirt. She paused to look at his arm, and she found no blood. Instinctually she grabbed her own arm and felt a cut there instead. She froze, not knowing exactly what to do. The man grabbed her arm and introduced himself.

“My name is Fame Designer.” He said. “You’re coming with me.”

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21   read

3:55 AM on 08.19.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 21: Scheduled Meeting

There are a few people still that we haven't seen in the story yet. There are people I wish I could stuff into the story here or there because they're awesome, but there are some of those people I will not be able to write in. I don't want to give a list of people I've entered into the story to save a few surprises... but I do want to give a shout out to someone who will absolutely be in the story. Sorry to spoil it but, Handy - you will be in there somewhere in the last chapters. I knew that since like chapter 8 or something. But, I have to give you a shout out. I was figuring out how your character will look, and I looked through every single one of your blogs. They were hard to get through. Mostly because I was laughing too hard to move on. Handy - dude - you probably have one of the best senses of humor that I know of. Props to you. Thank you for giving me a night of laughter.

In the morning, Ravensdale was brightly lit without a cloud in the sky. James walked with his group walking into a deserted set of buildings that, despite the well lit area, seemed shady and evil. Around every corner of every building and coming out of the windows were shadows that seemed to push themselves out into the sunlight. James readied his sword and that prompted his team to do the same. Hugh stood to one side with his baseball bat and on the other stood Wolf with his blade out and ready to strike. Kraid and Alice Dixon were in the middle with AlphaDeus covering the back.

"Do you think there is anyone here?" James questioned.

"There is always someone." Hugh said. "Always expect someone."

"I always think everything could be a trap." AlphaDeus said. "Which is why I'm still alive."

"Is this really the appropriate time for that?" Wolf said.

"I think the joke is on you." A man said out of their line of sight.

"Who is there!" Wolf said. "Show yourself!"

"Why have you come to Ravensdale?" The voice said.

"We're looking for the masked man." James said. "Someone in a mask that is killing hundereds of thousands of people. He has great power. And we intend to take him down."

"Ah yes... Let me introduce myself..." A man emerged from the shadows carrying a shot gun and wore a small mask over his eyes. "My name is Gareth. Some people call me The Comedian."

"Pppttthhhheehehehe..." Alice laughed.

"What?" James turned. "What's so funny?"

"He's a comedian. I just." Alice raised an eyebrow. "I thought it was funny?"

Gareth walked towards James with his shotgun aimed level with his stomach. James looked around at his team and they were starting to smile. He noticed that there was a feeling rising up from his throat. Something tickled him. The whole situation was a bit funny and ridiculous, and he let a bit of a hiccup sounding laugh out of his esophagus.

"Anthony sent you didn't he?" Gareth said. "He sent you all here to die. You all have been tricked. You're looking for a masked man and of course he sends you to me. Was he a reverend? A preacher this time?"

"What? Heheh... Are you saying Anthony is the masked man? Phuhuehhehe... Ahhh... Breathe..." Hugh said, trying to keep control. "Cckekeheheh... ugh... That's... impossible. Isn't it? I mean he helped us. He healed people. Out of everyone he seemed to be the most humane."

"They aren't really healing powers." Gareth said while he lined up his shotgun on James's head. "He's just making you younger, and then older again to preserve your age."

Everyone broke out into laughter because his explanation seemed quite funny at that point. Gareth was not surprised by the laughter. After all he was The Comedian. He could read phone numbers from a phone book and people would laugh. It was painful being the clown because no one would listen. Nothing important could be said. All his life, people would brush him off. So, instead of suffering other people, he became The Comedian of Ravensdale and before long became the reason that no one went there anymore.

It had all come down to this. James turned into the barrel of the shotgun and froze in time. His thoughts crystallized into a clear epiphany. His lucky coin had always pointed him straight towards Anthony every time. His luck told him to stay with Anthony when his coin was doing strange things like not landing on ether side. Anthony Burch was their man, but he couldn't prove it. It was a shame, because he knew how to prove it very easily if, in fact, they had been double-crossed. AlphaDeus had to make a new list of superheros and see who was dead. If there was anyone dead in Anthony's team, then if Anthony was also alive, he would have some explaining to do. Such a shame to realize this now, James thought.

Everyone continued laughing. They rolled on the floor laughing. They curled up and laughed on the floor rolling around struggling to breathe. They laughed out loud until they had tears in their eyes. The only one not amused was Gareth.

"Let's see who laughs last." Gareth said confidently.

"Hahahahahaha!" Everyone laughed.

Gareth pulled the trigger and the gun misfired, shooting the metal parts of the shotgun into his own face. The metal burned and he dropped his gun. Hot splinters of metal were embedded deep within his nostrils and his mouth. He could feel some of it in his neck and his forehead. He was in extreme pain and was having trouble breathing. The metal in his throat started sealing up his flesh and breathing stopped. His mouth hung open trying to scream but his vocal chords were all shot up with beads of metal as well. His knees hit the ground and he started grabbing at his own face as his vision went dark. He wasn't able to feel his hands or face to be able to tell whether or not he was able to take out any of the metal shards. His body convulsed as his lungs filled with blood. After drowning in blood he lay still. And only after he lay there for a few moments and his spirit left his body did the laughter cease.

"That, was a strange ability." Hugh said. "I don't think we can exactly be ready for powers like that. I mean, we come in here with bats and swords, and sometimes these mental power guys just fuck us up."

"I got lucky." James said. "The gun misfired. And The Comedian blew his own face off."

"Do you believe him?" Kraid said. "About our Reverend Anthony?"

"I don't know." James said. "There are fewer and fewer options. Fewer choices of people this masked man could be. We need to get to AlphaDeus's computer to check for the survivor list. Then we will know where to go next. Let's head for North Bend."

"Niero." AlphaDeus said.

"Niero?" Hugh asked.

"The computer is called Niero." Alphadeus explained.


Near North Bend Alphadeus's lair was covered in wires and technology. It had been untouched since they had been there. Niero sat in the middle of the room shut off for the moment, but with the flick of a switch Niero was turned on. Niero lit up red and green. And when Niero was functional, AlphaDeus started giving the computer his commands.

After a few keystrokes a list was spit out.

Fame Designer

"No Beyamor." James said. "Damn it. The list was too big last time."

"Could it be that Elsa and Anthony have deceived us?" Hugh said.

"That's what this looks like." AlphaDeus said. "Law and Beyamor are dead."

"Okay, wait." Alice whined. "Maybe they're in trouble! I mean couldn't Anthony and Elsa be under attack? They might need our help!"

"We need to find them either way." Kraid said.

"Yes, exactly." Hugh seconded.

"Corduroy Turtle?" Wolf said. "He's the guy that beat me with his bo staff skills."

"I don't know a few of the people on this list." James said as he flipped a coin.

The coin showed heads on the upward facing side. It answered a question James had asked about Anthony. He had asked the coin to show him Anthony's true nature. The coin had answered yes to the question: "Is he our man?"

"I think he's our man." James said. "But, I will hold judgement until the facts are in."

"Then we head back towards Silent Hill." Hugh suggested. "Something tells me we are going to run into them."

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20   read

3:37 AM on 08.17.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 20: Looks

Hello friends. Another chapter as promised. Four more to go. I didn't have a picture or a reference for Handsome Beast - but later on I have a list of pictures that I need to add to some of the existing chapters, so I'll be trying to update those as we head closer to PAX 2011. Very special chapter. And hmm... I think it is high time we got to the good guys! But that is for next chapter. Thanks for all the comments last time! It was good to see everyone that I remember still alive and kickin'. And very special thanks to my as always wonderful and talented girlfriend Kahla for Elsa's picture!

Handsome Beast stood there unassuming in his suit and tie. He waited there patiently for Virgilio who was just a bit late for his appointment with him. In an alleyway he sat against a wall and smoked a cigarette. It was a cool night and the sunset painted the roads and buildings pink, purple and blue. It wasn’t often that he was able to truly enjoy himself and relax. There was always something going wrong in this god forsaken world he lived in, but not right at this moment. He wondered how it could possibly get better than this.

Virgilio approached and he looked rushed and worried. He strutted over to Beast with an automatic rifle slung over his shoulder. He looked different these days. He sported a red tie and sunglasses. Virgilio looked positively like he was going to come over and slap him. Beast rose his hands up and got ready to put a hand on his own firearm that was currently holstered.

Virgilio stopped and whispered, “Beast, we have to get out – of – here!”

“What? Why are we whispering?” Beast said.

“Elsa is near.” Virgilio pointed in the general direction of where he saw her group. “We have to get out of here.”

“Shit, she’s going to kill us.” Beast said. “Thanks for finding me.”

“We can thank god for me later.” Virgilio said. “Follow me.”


Down the road two people walked towards Anthony. One of them looked familiar. She was just a girl but Anthony thought maybe he had seen her before. The man beside her was Corduroy back from his mission to kill the forest spirit. He remembered his previous encounter with him that had happened long ago. He couldn’t quite get a hold on what Corduroy’s weakness was back then. In one on one combat he could always use some sort of force field to protect himself from weapons. This was before he had returned Corduroy to his previous state. He had almost defeated him in the battle, but he had almost died trying.

Anthony suspected all Corduroy had to say was that he finished the job. As they came closer he started to put together who the child was. It was his long lost love Ashley Davis. It was around two years ago that they lost contact. He wanted to hide Ashley away for her safety before a scheduled encounter with a skilled swordsman, so he changed her into a five year old to hide her identity. He had promised that he would come back to her and bring her back to the same age but it never came to pass.

He had retreated from the battle badly injured. In the time that it took him to come back to find Ashley, she had gone missing. It wasn’t until later that he found out that the attacker was Wolf. Possibly it was he that kept Ashley away, but there she was – only a little older than when he left her. This was Anthony’s chance to bring her back.

“Anthony!” Corduroy said. “I mean her no harm! I found her in the same place I found the forest spirit!”

“You mean everyone harm you bastard!” Anthony yelled.

“Anthony!” Ashley jumped. “Anthony! Anthony! Anthony!”

“My darling! Ashley!” Anthony cried. “Do NOT hurt her!”

“I bring this child safely to you.” Corduroy said. “You have to trust me. Please. I knew when I saw this child alone, that it had been your doing.”

“Why?” Anthony said, carrying young Ashley in his arms. “Why would you do this for me?”

“I owe you my life. You saved me when you could have left me to rot.” Corduroy said. “We’re the bad guys. The good guys are dropping like flies and probably have very little support left. We should be teaming up against them to wipe them out.”

“So, what do you know of your purpose here in the world?” Anthony asked.

“There are things I suspect.” Corduroy said. “I suspect that I do not live a normal life in this world… My life seems special. I feel I’m a part of something greater.”

“Indeed Corduroy Turtle.” Anthony pondered. “Perhaps you are. But if it comes down to you, me, Ashley, and anyone else still alive, I think we might have to duel it out ourselves. We will duel if, in fact, our purpose is to see who stands last.”

“In the end, what does the last man standing get for all his, or her, trouble?” Corduroy looked over at Elsa.

Elsa nodded and said: “It could be that our purpose is to prevent something awful from happening. It could be that there is no purpose. If you ask me, all we really know is that all the people with nano-machine based powers are being picked off to finish out some sort of end game.”

“I love you Anthony.” Ashley said nuzzling him.

“I love you too my darling girl.” Anthony said wondering if she remembered anything. “I will change you back. And everything will be as it was.”

“But,” Ashley pouted. “You said you might have to kill me.”

“You might have to kill me too Ashley.” Anthony smiled.

“It’s not fair!” Ashley cried.

“I know baby girl,” Anthony said. “But listen. First thing’s first. I have to sacrifice someone to make you better.”

“Okay…” Ashley continued to pout.

Elsa pointed towards an alleyway just past a few of the buildings. It was sunset now and there was calm warmth in the air. Elsa told Anthony to distract the two people trying to retreat to their left hand side. On one of the twisting roads, Anthony was told to cut them off and wait for her signal.

Anthony ran around the buildings and followed the road they were supposed to be retreating to. Elsa has an amazing sense of direction. They all bumped right into each other and both of the suited men, seeing Anthony, fumbled around for their guns. They saw Anthony starting his ritualistic approach to extracting their youth. He sat comfortably down on his knees and started accelerating their lives.

“Anthony, you don’t want to do this.” Virgilio said using his persuasion ability.

“I – don’t want to…” Anthony stopped the aging process.

“I’m much too handsome to die.” Handsome Beast said.

“Too handsome… Too handsome to die…” Anthony mumbled, hypnotized by the both of them.

They had similar powers and were both completely in control of Anthony’s actions. But Anthony had distracted them enough for Elsa to come down from above and pierce Virgilio’s skull and lodge the blade in between most of his vertebrae. Virgilio froze with his mouth open and a surprised look on his face. Handsome Beast turned and spoke in enough time to catch Elsa’s ears.

“I’m so… so freaking handsome.” Beast said.

“You’re… Damn you’re so fine…” Elsa was love struck.

“I wouldn’t kill such a handsome dude.” Anthony said.

Corduroy Turtle wound up and smacked Handsome Beast hard in the back of the head with his bo staff. Beast’s neck muscles held together, but the muscles were the only strands of flesh holding on. His spine spilled out in threads. The blood vessels and veins splattered blood in a nova around his feet. His feeding tubes drained of a burrito Beast had eaten just minutes before now, oozing out into what was left of his breathing tube that was making vile sucking noises. The muscles that were still attached miraculously kept his head from falling right off, but Handsome Beast only succeeded in twitching and making squishy noises before his body fell to the ground in a heap of bones and flesh, no longer held together by his will.

“You guys looked like you were in trouble.” Corduroy said, seeing Anthony and Elsa snap out of what looked like a trance.

“Yeah, yes,” Anthony said. “Of course, thank you Turtle.”

“Okay, okay.” Elsa said, shaking her head. “Let’s get down to business.”

Ashley walked over and sat by Anthony. Anthony pushed out his hands towards the two freshly dead corpses. Slowly, Ashley and Elsa changed as the bodies turned to ash. Elsa looked at her hands as they turned younger. Her whole body seemed to become hydrated with youth. As it happened, she ran her fingers over her neck and her face. Her breasts were larger and firmer. Ashley grew spontaneously into her proper twenty something age, went through puberty, grew long locks of hair, and developed her mature womanly features.

“My love…” Anthony said staring into Ashley’s eyes. “We are together again.”

“This time forever, okay?” Ashley said.

“Forever is just fine.” Anthony said, knowing that it wasn’t true.

“I know what my power is now!” Ashley said excited. “Leni!!! Lenigod!!!”

A puppy scampered around one of the buildings and landed in Anthony’s lap.

“It’s… Our old dog!” Anthony was surprised. “I thought he was dead!”

“He ‘is’ dead, silly.” Ashley explained. “This is a figment of my imagination.”

Anthony broke a sweat realizing that Ashley may currently be the most powerful one in the group. With her power, she could potentially wipe out anyone that crossed her. All those years alone she had to fend for herself. It must have been then that she learned how to do it. She was alone, and needed a friend. Her imaginary friends must have come true.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19   read

6:02 AM on 08.15.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 19: Found

It had been a while since Crime had started looking, but he found the designer’s lair. For the amount of area he covered trying to find it, it seemed as if it was a little too easy to find. It seemed like it was his destiny to do this very thing. Every time he searched his feelings, it led him here. Something was guiding him. But when he tried to figure out who or what was guiding him, nothing came to him.

There was a bunker in a short distance past all of the dust that seemed to hover in the air. The sun lit all of the dirt that the wind lifted. It simultaneously made the dust, the sunlight, and even the wind visible. And until he stepped down into a metal ramp it was hard to breathe in all the dry hot weather. Walking down the ramp, Crime realized that the dust seemed to be repelled by whatever energy seemed to be flowing in the floors and the walls of the bunker.

The whole bunker was made of metal and seemed more like a vault when Crime came to a large door. The door, of course, could not be forced open. Crime screamed at the vault door in the off chance that his power could unhinge it, but nothing moved. The echo of his voice off of the walls pierced his ears. The pain added to the frustration of not being able to enter the lair he had fought so hard to access.

There was, however, a strange white wall there that was uncharacteristic of the bunker that was surrounded by the usual thick sheets of metal. A robotic arm set itself up and out of a mechanically opening door on the opposite side of the bunker. Crime looked at the weapon that the robotic arm carried quizzically for a moment. The gun shot a projectile energy blast into the white wall and opened up a portal onto it.

Crime knew all too well that this meant he was being invited in. Memories of his past lives were becoming clearer. He looked in the portal to find a man staring back at him. If this was the famous game designer then maybe this was really the end of the story, Crime thought. Crime instead lunged for the portal weapon, thinking that it would be a powerful weapon against the designer – if it came to that. Unfortunately the robotic arm yanked the weapon backwards and collapsed quickly inside of the metal wall it came from.

“Crime, please enter.” Fame Designer smiled at his desk, folding his hands together.

He walked towards Fame with a slight hesitation. Crime didn’t know what he really wanted. He didn’t know exactly how things were supposed to turn out. The game Fame built might be a single player game, a multi-player game, a linear game, a non-linear game, or it could even have been a movie, a book, or simply a blog. Crime hoped that he was destined to last until the end.

Crime entered the portal and found himself in an office. Fame Designer sat back in his chair and welcomed him.

“So, here we are again.” Fame smiled. “I’m glad you’ve been enjoying my game, but apparently I have some bugs in it still.”

“Ah, so it is a game.” Crime raised his investigation finger.

“Yes.” Fame said. “And that means you know way too much.”

Fame Designer stood up from his chair abruptly and it was thrown backwards clanging against the wall. They stared at each other silently for a moment. Fame tried to gauge his reaction. Crime stood his ground, flinching only slightly. The air was hot and humid in the room now, and both Crime and Fame formed droplets of sweat on their foreheads.

“Reminds me of Beyamor… This humid room…” Crime said.

“Hah, yes – perhaps people are moist when they fear death.” Fame said.

“Why is it that everyone is dying Fame? Why design the game to involve so much death?” Crime asked, trembling, while simultaneously asking himself what Fame Designer’s powers were.

“Don’t be so dramatic Crime Minister.” Fame Designer waived his hand, trying to brush off his comment. “It is simple… Be the last man standing and you win the game. The point of all of this was to play the game without our previous memories of each other. We are all a part of this. All of our friends from Destructoid are a part of it, but they’ve had their minds erased for the purpose of living inside this world, and this world alone. Your memories persist. Perhaps your memories led you here to me.”

“But we could have just lived out our lives here without knowing.” Crime said. “What if we were stuck here?”

Fame explained, “There are timers, conditions, and people that will stop the game in the event of an emergency. When the game is over, I will see you on the other side. However, I hope that I can kill you first, so that you do not reveal the secret to anyone else. Although, if you kill me first, I humbly request that you also role-play your part in all this, and refrain from revealing the game’s true nature. There is something… human… about not knowing what the after-life is like. Let them play their parts out. Let them experience this world, for what it is designed to be.”

“And if I win, what happens to you?” Crime asked.

“I wake up back at home and watch over all of you. Fix bugs in the program. And respond to the people complaining that our single player version of the game requires you to be online.” Fame said.

“Single-player online? That does sound kind of stupid doesn’t it?” Crime reacted.

“Damn it.” Fame slammed his fist against his desk. “The idea of single-player online isn’t new. You do it all the time with games in your browser or on other platforms that are online only. It is the perfect way to stop cheating and piracy. There is no way to pirate our game unless someone hacks into our servers, gets our code, and takes the time to figure out how to reverse engineer our code and sync it with our clients. They’d have to run their own servers! They would be paying with their own money! It makes things way too hard for hackers. And why would anyone complain? Everyone has internet all the freakin’ time anyway and we are only charging a subscription fee of about a dollar a month.”

“Woah, dude…” Crime said.

“Sorry…” Fame said. “So, it’s your move. I have absolutely no idea what my power is.”

Without anymore thought, Crime roared and shook the room with the power of his voice. Papers flew about and glass lamps cracked and shattered onto the floor. The wood of the oak desk cracked into pieces. Fame Designer squinted at the wind twister of garbage but felt nothing. The sound made by Crime Minister seemed to shudder even the walls of the bunker and the rock enforcing the walls behind it.

Crime Minister felt numb. He had never attacked someone outright and on purpose. Perhaps it was his own ears being damaged, but in the past he had gotten used to such things. Something was different now. He closed his hands around his ears and felt a slippery substance. He began to take his voice down a notch, but upon looking at his hands covered in blood he screamed in fear – louder than ever before.

Fame Designer stood upright and confident in his newly realized power. He walked towards Crime, still screaming in his direction. The closer he got, the more powerful the noise. Crime pushed his powers as far as they could go, but he saw his death coming. Fame caught Crime as he fell. And there was silence. Fame seemed undamaged.

“The waves of energy I produced.” Crime struggled to speak. “It was like they were fed right back into me.”

“I think that is my power.” Fame said. “Whatever damage is done to me is deflected and done to someone else. I wonder what the implica-”

“If you are talking,” Crime interrupted. “I cannot hear you… If your power is what I think it is then you should be careful that it doesn’t go both ways.”

“Thanks for the tip Crime Minister.” Fame said as Crime Minister died.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18   read

4:28 AM on 08.14.2011

Chapters 19 and 20 are written.

It's been a while Destructoid.

PAX is coming up. I'm going to be there and I hope to see all of you. My girlfriend is a member of the PMS clan (Pandora's Mighty Soldiers), and she is hoping to meet her fellow clan members there too at something called Halo Fest. It's only two weeks away. Very exciting. Will there be Destructoid/PMS clan hook-ups? Will it be more likely that PMS clan members will stomp on us and kick our asses at Halo? Only time will tell.

When I dedicate myself to something, I get it done. I often lie about this dedication on certain projects, and that is because sometimes I am not really dedicating myself. For those projects, the finished product is left to the wind. It may fail. It may succeed. Heck, it'll probably get done - but nothing is guaranteed.

But all the same: I want to guarantee something to any fans of my fan fiction writing. I will get the story done by the end of the first day of PAX. I have been planning the last chapters of the series of blog posts for the past week in great detail, and have been going off of the very same notes and ideas that I have known about since the very beginning. Where LOST has never really proven that they have known the whole story from the beginning - I 'can' prove it! I have known about how it is all going to go down (save for some extra cameos from new D-toid friends) and I have dedicated myself to releasing six more episodes before PAX.

What this means is I am already terribly late! I have to make up for some lost time here and release an episode once every two days. I'm going to try and go for Monday/Wednesday/Friday. There are some of you that were more comfortable when reading week to week. But it's time for me to put up or shut up. It's PAX time baby. I will tell you right now: I already have two of the six chapters written - and I expect to take tomorrow and finish the last four. Yes, the LAST four. The story will be finished on day one of PAX. That is the plan anyhow.

I realize there are some of you who don't know me or don't know what I'm blabbering about. That's okay! I'm most definitely not adding any more people to the story, but most of the people in this story are still people on here that you know and love. Occams, SteezyXL, Mr. Andy Dixon, Elsa, Jim Sterling, Anthony Burch, Ashly Burch, Ashley Burch-Davis, and many more! I would have loved to add some of the new people I've seen on here doing awesome blogs, but at this point everything is locked in.

I'd love it if some of you that haven't heard of any of this to read through my previous chapters. I will update them coming up to PAX. Hopefully I will be able to add some more art to the posts that have none. But, most of the focus will be on writing the damn story to completion.

If you were wondering which professional paint program I was using for my pictures. It is called MS Paint for use with the Windows operating system.

I love you guys and I hope you all enjoy the rest of the story. I will post the nineteenth chapter Monday morning. Here is a list of the current chapters for your convenience.

Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18   read

1:39 AM on 03.26.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 18: Scars

It's been a while my friends. I am past burnt out. I'm way past it. But I promised someone a chapter this week. And I will do it again, and again, until there is an end - the end I've been thinking of from the moment I conceived of this story. I miss all of you. Sorry I haven't been around.

“Epic, my friend” Crime said after resting. “We will look for the Designer in Ravensdale because that is obviously the most dangerous place to be. The final boss must be somewhere around there.”

“Sir,” Epic said. “You have no powers to speak of. May I suggest you just stay here in North Bend and live out your life here in this world? What would be so wrong with that?”

“No powers? Hah!


” Crime’s booming voice pierced Epic’s ears into his brain and killed him in one shot.

“Shit…” Crime said as Epic fell. “I was just trying to show you what my powers were.”

Crime hiked to Ravensdale to find the famed Designer.


“Stay here,” Corduroy said to Ashley, “I’m going to kill them in one minute!”

Corduroy approached the crowd of gangsters but was headed off by the man with an eye patch.

“Tiger!” He said – all one-eyed-like. “Tiger! Tiger!”

“What the fuck is this?” Corduroy said.

The eye-patch man approached. His body was cut out of stone and rippling with muscle. He wore only shorts and displayed the huge scar across his chest proudly. One of his minions spoke up.

“He cannot speak normally!” The minion said. “But, he is a street fighter of unparalleled skill. He has the eye of the Tiger and if he had the other one there would be two. Bow to him, your master. If you do not, you… will… die.”

Corduroy swung his bo staff around a few times and told him to come get some. His opponent swung his fists all over the place in a whirl of impressive martial arts moves. He said ‘Tiger’ once every other swing. Mostly he started dancing, bobbing, and weaving. There was a chant starting from the crowd of gangsters.

“When I say Jonathan, you say Holmes.” The crowd cheered. “JONATHAN. HOLMES. JONATHAN. HOLMES.”

“Tiger uppercut!” Jonathan said as he flew up into Corduroy’s jaw.

Upon impact Corduroy echoed a grunt and fell to the ground. Ashley ran to him and shook him so he didn’t fall asleep or get knocked out.

“Round two!” Ashley said. “Fight!”

Corduroy threw his staff down and went for a different approach. He mocked his opponent by doing fake martial arts, but Jonathan just crossed his arms and laughed.

“Let’s go Jonathan, let’s go!” The crowd bellowed.

Corduroy jumped towards Jonathan and upon landing waited until he was in range for some quick punches to his Jonathan’s knees. Bit by bit Jonathan was tricked into walking too close or exactly into jumping range. Either way, Corduroy was able to nickel and dime him by hitting his legs to death. The punches were swift and quick. And though it was a short ranged attack, Corduroy’s footwork won the day. And Jonathan fell.

Jonathan rose up again to fight round three. But Corduroy, before Jonathan could stand completely, smashed his bow staff into his head. Jonathan’s skull caved in completely and splattered his minions with his brains. One of them picked up his good eye, and cried. The crowd was silenced, and angered. Some of them crept up on Corduroy.

“No fatalities!” Someone in the crowd said. “No fatalities! No fair! You cheated!”

The mob approached them but saw behind Corduroy was little Ashley Davis with her nightmare creatures behind her. She carried a notepad where she kept all of her drawings. And they all came off the page hungry and waiting for a snack. The crowd darted this way and that, trying to avoid the monsters but no one made it out alive. They were all eaten, one by one by disembodied drawings that crushed and swallowed their bones.

“Good girl.” Corduroy said.


Elsa walked with Anthony to find a body to sacrifice.

“How about that handsome beast over there?” Elsa said.

“He looks perfect.” Anthony said.   read

2:27 AM on 02.18.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 17: Sympathy

“Unfortunately you don’t know what you’re asking right now.” Anthony said.

Anthony, upon healing himself, now looked as if he was in his fifties. He had streaks of grey hair and his skin was saggy and wrinkling in places.

“I need to at least extract 60 years from someone to put us both back into our twenties.” Anthony explained. “Beyamor’s body let me heal up to where I am, but if I use my power I age my own body.”

“I didn’t know you had healing powers when I met you.” Elsa said.

“That’s precisely how I do it. It’s a combination of lowering your age and forwarding your age.” Anthony went on. “If I lower your age, I age. If I further your age, I age. I can only lower my own age when I’m in the process of extracting youth from other people.”

“I know.” Elsa stopped him. “I didn’t know when I met you, but I figured it out. I don’t know why you are killing people, but you aren’t strong enough to kill me. I killed Law for you. You killed Beyamor. Everything went well don’t you think?”

“Yes,” Anthony said. “I realized how perfect the situation was when I took the opportunity to kill Beyamor.”

“Doesn’t matter.” Elsa said looking at the dirt.

“They were good people weren’t they?” Anthony said.

“What, you care?” Elsa asked.

“No, I mean, I don’t care because I can’t care.” Anthony said putting on his mask.

“I don’t care anymore either…” Elsa said.

“You don’t care about anyone anymore because I killed Mongoose.” Anthony said. “I know you don’t understand why. But I know it had to be done.”

“I wonder if I could kill you now.” Elsa said.

“You could have earlier,” Anthony said. “But not at the moment. Why don’t you come with me, and I’ll honor your wish.”

Elsa stabbed her sword into Anthony’s breast with a strike fully intended to kill a normal man. For Anthony it was more of an experiment. Anthony stepped back from the pressure but the blade never penetrated.

“When you age and age and age thousands of years ahead, you keep your muscle for the most part. I’ve been young long enough for my muscles to become toned. It’s enough to give me the thickest skin on earth.” Anthony said.

“Hmph.” Elsa made a sound.

“Come around with me, and I will grant you your wish.” Anthony said. “But I won’t let you stop me from what I am destined to do. Find me just two people to sacrifice, and we’ll wash our hands of each other.”

“Beyamor almost had you didn’t he?” Elsa said.

“That is the closest I’ve ever come to death in all my years.” Anthony said. “He actually might have technically killed me. You saved me. You may have saved all mankind.”


Ashley and Corduroy sat next to each other with Lenigod. Lenigod was barking at someone walking a far bit away from them. They could barely make out a gang of people approaching them in the distance. It was a big group of what looked to him like a gang.

“I might as well kill all of them.” Corduroy said.

“Can’t we terrorize them first, maybe torture them?” Ashley said.

“My word, what is wrong with you?” Corduroy turned squinted at her.

“Heheheh…” Ashley laughed.

All Lenigod could distinguish from the crowd was a strange lanky but muscle bound man with an eye patch and a bald head.


“Alright,” Epic said. “Well, I’ve gotten you back to North Bend. Just stay here you big goof and stop spouting your nonsense about how nothing is how it is supposed to be in the world. It’s all nonsense. See ya!”

“Yeah…” Crime said. “Thank you, sir. Say… Does that there sign really say Occam’s Electric Toothbrush?”

“To be sure.” Epic said.

“I must find him!” Crime said, running into the store.

The store seemed abandoned for the moment. It was all locked up, but no one to guard it. In the window he spied treasures such as figurines from old movies from back in the information age where people had the technology to render 3d objects on a computer. There were little figures: minions of Cthulu. And posters posted up on every wall that had a certain quality to them. The pictures were unique, interesting, and unpopular – diamonds in the rough.

“We were all friends once.” Crime said. “We played Halo sometimes.”

“You played with a halo?” Epic asked, dumbfounded.

“No no, it was a game.” Crime said. “Don’t you know what video games are?”

“Hm…” Epic thought about it for a minute but got bored. “No sir. Not a clue.”

“Epic, my friend.” Crime said. “I fear there is something afoot. We’re all in danger. We need to find The Designer.”   read

4:33 AM on 02.16.2011

Afford What Has Value To You


I watched Jim Sterling’s video about piracy too.

Something had been bugging me though, well before Jim’s video. I’ve been reading plenty of articles and watching plenty of videos about it. I’m not saying that I know everything about this topic. But, in almost every conversation or speech I’ve heard, I haven’t heard the most realistic arguments. Usually on one side you have consumers who pay for their stuff and companies that are entitled to their sales. And on the other you have people who don’t mind using a torrent to share a file. Right now I’m uncomfortable on either side of the fence.

I do believe that piracy is wrong. I believe downloading a movie for free that is only sold in stores is a crime on some level, in that, it is theft. I’m even pretty sure that it is still theft if you already own it on DVD. If you want back-up copies – make copies of your actual DVD or something. And, well, don't share that copy.

I say this while listening to ‘Blonde on Blonde’ by Nada Surf streaming on YouTube. I feel like this is the same thing as downloading it via torrent file, but maybe not. Does YouTube make money from my clicking on the play button again? If so, do some of the proceeds go to Nada Surf? They must have consented to the music being on there for free. Maybe?

I think the last thing I downloaded through some torrent was the full Twin Peaks series. I didn’t have the money to buy it. I wanted to watch it after talking about it with my friends. I rarely take the plunge, but I wanted to watch it bad enough to take it – the plunge. I started making excuses for myself. Like: I know most of my friends steal things all the time – notably Adobe products, porn, music, and video games. Most of them have no sense of it being thievery. And I’m okay with that sometimes. I used to steal baseball cards when I was little, and I knew that was wrong back then. But this seems different somehow.

Another excuse in my head is: You can’t even hold the data in your hand. The Twin Peaks series fits into a couple of gigabytes, and is only taking up a fraction of your hard drive. It holds almost no weight. You get the experience without having to think about the work that went into building it. You delete it afterwards, not having to think about it. It’s like a streaming video that you let buffer all the way to the end. You watch The Usual Suspects, and then *poof* it’s gone.

It’s a copy of a copy of a copy of a copy. I can even tell you that I’m only kind-of sort-of a thief because what I’ve stolen is still enough in a grey area that I won’t get thrown in jail. Just think of it. Think of everyone, that has ever downloaded a file illegally, in jail. Ridiculous. It’s even goofy thinking that I would get fined 100,000 dollars or whatever it says on that FBI warning.

Recently, though, I have changed my stance on it. Maybe it’s because of the fact that I can pay for things I want now. Maybe it’s because I’m thinking of having a business myself. When I make my super cool video game, how will I sell it? Will it be pirated and distributed without my consent? Will people want to steal my game too? (A side note: It would be awesome to be in a place where I would be required to think about this stuff. Note to self: Make a video game.)

I’ve always known I was stealing. But now I’m not going to do it anymore, because I have this idea that I’m screwing the artists every time I steal something. I love David Lynch, Kyle MacLachlan, and Lara Flynn Boyle. I understand that if I pay for something off the shelves or on Amazon, that some of the money goes to other companies, but I’m hoping that most of the money goes to the artists. I wish them success. I want more money to go to them because I want to see more stuff like Twin Peaks. I want my money to go towards something that I value.

Look, I mean, I’m not sure how to sort out what is worth my money and what isn’t. That’s not the point. What I’m trying to add to the conversation here is that I feel like I am STILL screwing the artists as a consumer. If I buy a CD off the rack, some part of me still thinks that the band gets at least some money out of it. The problem is not that I’m fine with giving money to artist and publisher – I don’t have much to say about that. The problem is that CD’s, DVD’s, *.mp3’s, *.avi’s, and all sorts of different types of recorded data are so easily distributable and so easily copied.

If you were a car manufacturer, you could probably sell your cars without much fear of the average consumer totally and completely copying the car in every way perfectly to share with their friends. These companies, like KFC’s recipes, have trade secrets and they are protecting their products from being copied or illegally distributed. It is lawful to be able to patent something you invented and make money off of it, or like KFC hold trade secrets that are not given out to just anyone. So how does a music company do that? How does a band do it or an indie game developer?

I spoke with Knutaf about this. It is HARD to protect your data. Even if you lock up your game in a box tighter than an ATM machine and only distribute in arcades – you still run the risk of one security breach compromising your whole plan. The data only has to come from one place, and then it’s everywhere. For entertainers and bands, performances are easily recordable, as are the CD’s that are sold. It is hard to protect things that are so easily recordable. But I, for one, encourage artists to protect their data however they can. Yeah, protection in the form of DRM is annoying. But the idea is that if you buy a copy legit, you won’t have any problems. If you find something annoying about that – it is your choice not to buy it, just like anything else. Just like picking an apple without a bruise on it. Don’t want to miss out on the experience? Too bad – you either think it’s worth the price, or you don’t.

One thing I learned from my dad, something I’ll always remember him saying is, “If you want to make more than 250,000 dollars a year, there aren’t a whole lot of ways to do it without working your ass off.” Developing video games is like the new kind of rock star, but was being a rock star the new kind of gold rush? I’m sure there were things in between, but it’s clear to me that the whole problem here is greed.

People with lots of money to spend are spamming us with CD’s and DVD’s that are both easily produced, easy to put on the shelf, but also easily copied. The artists do all the heavy lifting, sell out, and are not wise to how much the producers are making. Again, if artist and producer are making a lot of money, then why complain? But if you find that people are copying your stuff and are wondering how much money you could have made from those people if they actually bought a copy of the CD, then it’s really the fault of the producers and the artists for trying to mass produce something that is so easily copied at home. The fault is not only on the pirates. Isn’t it clear to them that there will be pirates?

Using music sales as my example: I think that when studios record quality tracks to put on CD’s and on iTunes, it becomes the first mistake when trying to make an honest dollar off of their products. Some company can say, “Hey let us distribute your music. We’ll produce your music and market it. You’ll get a dollar for every CD you sell. Yeah, we are making most of the money here, but we are also very important because we are the ones that make your product a million seller. And, hey, your team still gets a million dollars. You have to spend money to make money.”

If I had a band, I would not expect millions of dollars for my insane awesome talent. I would expect to sell a good product, protect it, and distribute it in a way that didn’t give pirates the opportunity to record my music at all. The money would come from the work we did on tours. We might even hire some light security to stop people from bringing recording devices or video cameras into the performance. Kind of like what happened when I went to the Cirque du Soleil. Yeah!

So if you dupe it and sell as many as you can, you will never be able to protect your music… your product… your intellectual PROPERTY. If you do this, do not complain like Metallica that your music is being copied and distributed illegally. You have agreed to make it stupidly easy for people to do so. KFC wouldn’t put their recipes in someone’s desk somewhere to be easily seen or stolen. They probably have it in some vault somewhere. As an artist, if you aren’t willing to give the effort that most average people do to try and make their millions – then I don’t think you should complain if some producer makes millions of copies of your work onto CD’s. Unfortunately you don’t live in a world full of people that give a shit about your band making an extra buck, especially off of a 15 dollar CD.

It goes the same way for video games. As I understand it you will have some protection when you release on a platform like Steam, XBLA, or some other thing. I wonder how Minecraft did it… Minecraft has that subscription thing that must at least be pirated somewhat – but, holy shit is that guy making a lot of money. I’m guessing they have a low piracy to actual sale rate. World of Warcraft probably still makes a lot of money both from having an addictive game, but also – the game must be hard to pirate… or, hard enough so that the average user won’t stop paying monthly to do it.

Let it be the seller’s fault for selling it wrong for the lack of success. Let it be the fault of the artist for making shitty content. Let it be the consumers fault for not having enough money. Don’t let thieves be the guiding force behind your success.

Things are changing. The game I’m developing at work right now is going to be extra hard to pirate copies of, mostly because you need your own copy of our game and a server to go with it. It’s like World of Warcraft. An average user will not be able to succeed at making their own duped server on their own local machine - much easier to pay a monthly subscription. In the future I’m sure the protection of data will be much easier to accomplish.

But for now, let me suggest this: Stop listening to the artists and companies complain about what they didn’t get. And stop listening to pirates trying to make sense of what they are doing (stealing). Either way, the artists, producers, and pirates should not be able to get what they want without some old fashioned WORK.

[embed]194211:36273[/embed]   read

4:16 AM on 02.04.2011

C-Blog Fan Fiction Chapter 16: Beyamourning

Hey again all of you. Thanks for your support. I have a plan now. The game I'm going to produce is nearly finished being designed. I will start coding once the fan-fiction story is finished. And only after I have caught up on all the art I need to do. The project is going to go under the name Roguecraft as a project name. I'm a fan of RPG's but have recently taken a liking to Minecraft and Rogue-likes. I'm sure a more suitable title will come to me later. But that's all details. Ten more chapters left!

“It can’t be…” Beyamor’s heart sank into his stomach.

“Oh yes.” Anthony explained. “Did none of you realize?”

“You were supposed to be on our side.” Beyamor grew tense. “You killed her! How could you! What kind of abyssal monster are you?”

“I’m somewhat surprised.” Anthony said fidgeting with something under his robes.

“About what?” Beyamor asked.

“Well…” Anthony went on. “You seem calmer than I intended. I thought you’d be trying to kill me already.”

“I’m always calm before the storm.” Beyamor said plainly.

“So what are you waiting for?” Anthony raised an eyebrow.

“I’m waiting for you to tell me why you did it.” Beyamor said.

“Oh Beyamor…” Anthony said. “Don’t you realize you’re going to die?”

“Tell me!” Beyamor said. The ground shook underneath him as he said it. The sky was gathering clouds over him. The night was humid. The wind swirled around them.

“What do you want to hear Beyamor?” Anthony taunted. “Nothing I tell you is going to make any difference. But, just to see the look on your face, I’ll tell you this: Ashly was my sister. She was dangerous. She had the one ability that I feared most. She had the ability to annoy Anthony Burch. That’s me.”

“And for that, she had to die!” Beyamor said. “She was your sister!”

“You underestimate how annoying she can really be.” Anthony said. “She nearly annoyed me to death once. I find it strangely amusing that she didn’t tell you anything.”

“We were in love.” Beyamor floated above the ground. “You… ate… her…”

“I’m going to kill you with my bare hands!” Anthony ran towards him.

“Die monster! You don’t belong in this world!” Beyamor yelled above the screaming hurricane.

Anthony’s robes fluttered violently in the wind jumping in the air towards Beyamor’s flying body. He pulled back, winding up for a punch and Beyamor clenched his fists. Beyamor’s will raised wind's power and focused the flow of its energy into Anthony. Anthony stopped in mid air and fought against the current but was blown back far into the distance, landing on broken asphalt.

Beyamor flew higher into the air and stalked Anthony. He saw him get up, seemingly unhurt by the first blow. Beyamor shot three quick blasts of lightning into Anthony’s chest and lit him up so hot that his skull showed through his skin. Anthony dropped to the ground on his knees, his whole body steaming but still alive.

“He should be dead,” Beyamor thought. No one had ever taken that many lightning bolts that was human. Beyamor tried to guess at Anthony’s abilities. But, the only thing he could think of is that he had healed a bunch of people right in front of him. Perhaps it had to do with healing. Beyamor suspected he could heal himself while in battle. And there was another feeling, he couldn’t quite put his finger on it.

Anthony turned his head to Beyamor to look and see where his attack would come from next. But, before he could see anything a tornado touched down and flung him up into the air. It was a nightmare. “No…” Anthony thought. “This is more than a nightmare. I might die in this tornado.”

The pressure of the wind gusts pelted him and forced his eyes closed. Debris hit him from every which way, requiring him to clench his whole body and try not to get torn apart. Lightning came through the tornado and slammed his face so many times that it started melting. He went through his healing process constantly, but the storm was too much for him. He couldn’t continue to defend himself. He had to go on the attack.

Anthony screamed but he couldn’t even hear his own voice in all the noise. He twisted and turned in the air. The debris tore at his face and arms. His leg cut clean off and there were pieces of metal darting through his chest. He couldn’t breathe and felt a heart attack coming on.

Beyamor felt his strength being sucked away from him. That was the feeling he was trying to pin-point. He looked at his own hands. They were wrinkled and old. He was beginning to have trouble breathing. Beyamor wondered if he could last. Slowly he started falling. The wind, not enough to carry his weight.

They both dropped to the ground. The fog was cleared for a time and the two of them lay defeated next to each other. Anthony lay bleeding out with one of his legs decaying a mile away stuck with wires and shards of junk in his body, some digging deep within his skeletal frame. Beyamor crawled towards him. As he got closer he could see Anthony’s cells fluctuating, healing his wounds, bit by bit. Anthony’s leg even seemed to regenerate, his flesh becoming younger, then older again.

“I should have known it was you.” Beyamor choked. “You bastard. How many people did you kill? Thousands? And no one will ever know. I have to kill you here.”

Beyamor’s old body slithered above Anthony’s body. One of his legs grew so brittle that it cracked as he crawled towards him. Luckly he was already numbed from the pain from his body being battered from the fall. Once he was right on top of him, he noticed Anthony was somewhat paralyzed. Anthony didn’t move anything but his mouth, which started to upturn into a smile.

“You can’t do it can you.” Anthony said. “No one has ever… ever been so close to killing me before. You truly have a gift, my friend. But you will wilt away into dust just like the rest.”

“Not… Before I… Gouge your eyes out.” Beyamor slowly grabbed Anthony’s skull on one side. “You think you’ve defeated me? You don’t think I know what I’ve gained, for my wife?”

He only had the strength for one more push. Only one of his eye sockets. That would have to do. Beyamor pressed into it popping out one of Anthony’s eyeballs making a squeaking sound that resembled a wet balloon. Beyamor slumped over, hoping his weight would be enough for his thumb to enter Anthony’s brain.


Elsa sprinted back to where the storm was coming from. It had all died down before she got there. And there was Anthony lying there by himself, Beyamor was nowhere in sight. But, she knew after seeing the ashes that Beyamor was dead. She pulled junk and metal shards from Anthony’s body and tried to poke his eye back in place. He seemed limp, and he wasn’t breathing.

She slammed his chest once there weren’t any more objects protruding from his body. She tore his robes apart searching for what he was carrying. A katana blade emerged from underneath his robes as did a half black and half white mask. She had been right about his identity. She slammed his chest again to try and jumpstart him.

Anthony flailed around as he vacuumed in air like it was the first breath of his life.

“Elsa,” Anthony said once he was able. “Looks like I owe you another favor. Let me guess…”

“Make me young again.” She said.   read

3:39 AM on 02.02.2011

A Game Designer No One Knows About.

I've never really had writer’s block. I have too much to say – too much to write about to have writers block. But I haven’t written anything in a while. And I’m not focused enough to do another chapter of the fan-fiction quite yet. I’ve been stressed lately. I’ve felt as though my mind has been pulled into a million different directions. My brain is taffy now, and I guess I just wanted to write down some thoughts for you guys to wind myself down.

I am well into the project I’m doing at work. We’ve hired another guy to work beside me. We’ve been told to do code reviews for each other before committing our code to the server, and I told my boss that it’s the most wonderful and completely rewarding experience I’ve ever had. I told him I love looking over someone else’s code and telling them what they messed up on, getting them to hate me, and hating them in turn for looking at my code and making suggestions. “That kind of stuff builds character.” I tell myself.

The kind of stuff I’m talking about, I would never say if I thought my boss or anyone at work would read this stuff. I tend to get a little personal with my blogs sometimes, and it is a pleasure to know that I am still free to write without worry of having an effect on my job or any other potential jobs.

I am working on a Facebook game. I believe I can say that without getting in trouble. I am programming the Flash part of it. And, usually it is the Flash I’m complaining about when I’m developing something. But right now I’m complaining about Facebook most of the time. And it’s nothing about Facebook in general that bothers me, it’s more the fact that I feel like I’m creating a game that takes advantage of a human’s basic desires. There is no, “Let’s make something cool and release it.” Sure, they say that at first, but it wasn’t long until they started putting priority on “We have to reach for their wallets.”

I watched a long Jonathan Blow (of Braid fame) lecture recently. He outlined exactly why he thought Facebook games like Farmville were on the evil side of the good and evil spectrum. And I believed him. I still ‘believe’ him. So it is hard to work on this game everyday knowing that we are trying to… well… I believe if I go on, I will probably somehow get myself fired.

I guess this isn’t the worst thing though. I’m getting a nice paycheck and it’s actually not the most evil software I’ve ever produced. (I used to make malware for monies.) I feel my opinion on my current work situation can still be summed up with, “I’m working on a Facebook game.” Sometimes I’m cool with it. Sometimes I’m haunted by it. Despite what some people think of me, I’m a good person with a good heart. It was hard to find this job. I am a paladin desperate for a party to adventure with. Has my alignment changed over time? Have I become like one of them?

I am much more passionate about my personal project. I grew up with RPG’s whether it was the Dragon Warrior type with sort of a Japanese feel to its turn based combat or a western RPG like Planescape: Torment or Fallout. I like the original Zelda for all of the action RPG elements it has. My personal project reflects those interests with some added respect for rogue-like games. These days, I feel if you want to play an RPG with depth in the system – play a rogue-like game like Dungeon Crawl: Stone Soup. If you want a great game that doesn’t take any risks, choose something like Dragon Age.

When I go to work, I get that feeling that I’m sure other people get. You have to make your money if you are to sustain your lifestyle. You are in your chosen field, so you should be completely grateful for what you have, but FUCKS if you don’t want to work on a game that truly inspires you. I know people that don’t have jobs right now. These are hard times, there’s no denying it. But I’m getting older. I’m turning thirty in April. FUCK! This year! Fucking thirty years old! And I feel like I’m still an irresponsible child most of the time. I mean I was still pretty much a complete idiot two or three years ago.

If I die without completing this game in my head, I feel that I will have failed myself in that part of my life. And, for sure, that part of my life takes up at least 50% of my time. Thoughts about having Beyamor, Knutaf, and whoever else on my team to help me is – nice. (Imagine Beyamor writing dialog. Holy shit!) Those thoughts pick me up when I’m feeling down. But unfortunately it is hard to put together a team with no money. I wish that I believed a team could be put together by pure motivation, inspiration, and in Beyamor’s case: pure perspiration – but I don’t.

I’m not even sure if that works as a joke. But Beyamor’s character in the fan-fiction is very moist. So what I said is either slightly insulting or the in-est inner in-joke I’ve ever in-ed.

In any case, because of all this, I am feeling down, I’m stressed, and I’m stuck. Well… Maybe not ‘stuck’ but at the very least everything is progressing way too slow. I look at my school loans and I won’t get those paid up for another ten years. On top of that are other debts that I have slowly taken chunks out of. It’s hard to keep up when companies I work at rise and fall within one year and I have to find another job. I’m at a standstill financially, physically, spiritually, mentally.

The thing I keep thinking is: What if I could actually find the nuts to develop and actually finish my personal game project?

I’m not the most disciplined person in the world. And it is a wonder I have so many chapters done out of my fan-fiction. I have thought about it many times. And there is no way I can start really developing a game before the end of the fan-fiction. I know some of you would tell me to take it easy. But, I say to you, the fan-fiction is important to me. It is important to me that I finish it. I want to spend time with it, because I want to spend time with you guys. And despite my love for all of you, I will be writing much less for the c-blogs while I develop my game.

*Write the fan-fiction chapter by chapter, week by week, until it is completed.
*Develop my video game.

I needed some excuses for posting some pictures. I needed an excuse to open up and write down some of my frustrations. I’ve gotten through the hard part. I’ve written a little diddy for you all. Now let’s see if I can get something else for you guys to read on Friday.   read

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