Hello, readers. As you can tell by the picture of the red Ring of Death (and the title of the post if your uncreative), then this means there ain't gonna be an entry in my series Boss files this week because (again as noted in the title) technology hates me. The main reason why I say this is because as indicated in my last post, my PS3 died. So I recently sent it back to Sony to get it repaired ( thankfully, I was smart enough to remember to get my hard drive out of it). Then as a cherry on top of the shit flavored sundae, my Xbox 360 gets hit with the RROD a few hours later.

As enraged as I was, I decided to let bygones be bygones and tried to find some amazing old games from the PS2 days I missed the first time around. Since I'm incredibly paranoid about online shopping and the games I'm looking for probably aren't in stores these days, I'm just gonna ask, Are There any good DS games out there Other than The World Ends with You (I've been trying to get that one for a while now), and anyone know where I can get copies of Viewtiful Joe, Resident Evil 4, Devil May Cry 3, Okami, and Killer 7 cheap?
(I know this question belongs in the forums, and I fail for that, but its something that had to be asked)

Yeah, that's pretty much what happened

As you can tell from the mushroom cloud photo or my post's title (you veritable Sherlock Holmes you !), my PS3 has officially kicked the bucket...and I'm also going to properly introduce myself to you guys. The scenario went like this: I caught a cold and pretty much couldn't go to class today. I decided to revel in my extra day of freedom by playing the second operation in Chapter 10 of Valkyria Chronicles. After completing half of the mission, I got hit with the drowsiness, so I decide to go lie down. Unfortunately, my little lie down turned into a full on nap. I wake up two hours later and decide to finish the Op I started. I grab my Daulshock 3 and initiate the usual routine of sitting down, getting comfortable, and getting ready to play.Then, I realize that it won't turn on and my brother told me that the PS3 died (peacefully in his sleep). Luckily, I managed to get Valkyria Chronicles out of it.This is the second time that this has happened. Same thing happened this time last year and I had to wait 2-3 weeks to get it fixed. Oddly enough, My 360 hasn't gotten the Red Ring of Death yet, I honestly don't know if this is irony or just plain bad luck. Sorry to bore you, lets get the intro underway.




It's weird when I put it into practice. I've been a member of the Destructoid community for five months now, and I haven't even properly introduced myself. So i figured I might as well tell you guys and gals the basics of me, FalconReaper (some of this was covered in my "10 Things" post). My name is Mohamoud ( I prefer to be called Mo because so many people mispronounce my name, its not funny), I live in Canada, and it has it perks, namely some games being bundled in with the most random shit ( I once got a copy of beyond Good and Evil with a pack of Cheese string), I'm also 17 years old. In terms of gaming platforms, I have a now busted PS3, an inexplicably Red Ring proof Xbox 360(which I got for free, and the one time where regional lockout wasn't a pain in the ass), A PS2 that I still use every now and then, and a red Nintendo DS Lite with the Mario M on it. As also said in my "10 Things" post, I'm Muslim ( I don't know what it has to do with gaming, but I just had to say it). Until the end of last year I was pretty much a misanthrope who had a strong dislike of of most of the human race ( i still kind of am), now I'll only hate you until I get to know you. For most for my life my preferred genres of gaming were action games, platformers, and RPGs (or any game with a good story and game play), but now I'm stepping out of my comfort zone and am at least trying to be open minded of different types of games.Also I have a special moniker for my posts, the line "Thank you for allowing me to waste your time". I've come to think of it as my trademark, like Zorro cutting a Z into everything he sees or Spider Man's clever notes found after he busts the bad guys, Its just what I do. Sorry if that got a little long winded, I just wanted the community to know more about me and a last bit of info: I never played Marvel vs Capcom 2, I know, I fail, and I'm probably the only person on Dtiod who hasn't. I'm also doing a new feature on my blog called "Boss Files", I upload every Saturday, so check back then.

P.S Thank You for allowing my to waste you time!

Hello again. As you can tell by the post title, this week's entry is devoted entirely to those behemoth bosses that make you look like an insect by comparison, but you kill them in a way that's usually described along the lines of " Oh my God", "Oh, Snap!" or my personal favorite: "Oh my God! Holy Shit, Did you see that?" Since we got the overview out of the way lets get to recapping these slain goliaths.

Boss:The Hydra
Game: God of War



If you've played the original God of War, then you already have fond memories of this one, if you haven't, then why are you sitting here reading it! Spoilers! Go play it right now! If you don't have it GO BUY IT RIGHT NOW!!! Don't worry, I wait. * listens to the entire Chinese Democracy album and FC's it on Expert guitar on Rock Band* , you back, good. Now this boss I hold in high regard because it showed me that bosses could span an entire level and be cool (something Shadow of the Colossus built its foundation on and made it better). The scenario goes like this: Posidean, King of the Seas , tasks you with slaying the Aegean Hydra, a multi-headed beast that's roughly the size of a small island. As opposed to its Athenian cousin, this one doesn't grow an extra two heads every time it gets decapitated. Sorry for the mythical biology lesson, but its something that had to be clarified. After slaughtering god know how many Undead Legionnaires and wasting two of its heads, you get to the main part of the ship. One slaughterfest of a cutscene later, you get to the climactic first boss of the game. Your gonna have your hands full with three Hydra heads to deal with this time, and the more dragon looking one will heal the others. To stop that from happening, you impale the smaller heads to take them out. After that you fight the main head. It uses only chomps and roars ( someone needs a breath mint) to fight you. After slamming its head against the main mast, you kill it by impaling it on the mast, the fucking mast people! This not only solidified God of War as one of my favorite games of all time, but also showed that Kratos is a bad ass you don't wanna meet if your a creature of Greek Mythology.

Boss: The Batomys
Game: Valkyria Chronicles


Pictured above: NOT The Batomys. Its much larger for the record.

I won't lie to you, I almost stopped playing Valkyria Chronicles because of this. Ch. 7 was the example of how the game dynamically adjusted to show the true chaotic nature of war. It also featured the Batomys. This metal monstrosity is one of the Empire's biggest war machines, and almost impossible to destroy. Its armed with 6 turrets, a giant ragnite cannon and a rear standard cannon. It took me a week to get this operation completed,the basic strategy of using both lancers and the Edelweiss ( your suspiciously modern looking tank) is enough to take it out. Don't get me wrong, this one is far from easy and what pushes this one into controller-smashing territory is when Selvaria shows up with backup. She is a descendant of the Valkyria ( glowing people with a lot of power) meaning she wiped out most of my troops with her glowy Gatling ray of death( or GGRD for short) After Destroying the all of the main cannon's radiators all you gotta do is blow the thing to hell with a few well placed shots from your tank and lancers. Afterwards you see "His Grace" and his troops haul ass.

Boss:Brachyura (or however the fuck its spelled)
Game: Castlevania Order Of Ecclesia



Wow. I just noticed that Order of Ecclesia has gotten a lot of exposure in the Files (last week was devoted entirely to that game). The first "interesting" (and challenging) boss of Order of Ecclesia, the fight wasn't about killing it but making it to the top of the lighthouse. It' try to smash you with its giant claw and shoot acidic bubbles,and that's it. The way you kill it is awesome you crush with an elevator. Me describing it really doesn't do it justice. Watch this clip!



Did you see it. If so then good if not, then watch it or play the damn game!

That's it for now, I know there's nothing about the Batomys, but I had to include it because its hard and I classify hard bosses.
PS. Thanks for allowing me to waste your time doing something else.

Hello, again. Ya know, lately I've been struggling to find good candidates for the Files, but I managed to find a few good ones from Castlevania Order of Ecclesia (which I beat a few days ago), so Enjoy. Also SPOILER WARNING!! Again, if that doesn't stop you from reading I can't help you. Read at your own risk, spoilerphobe.


Boss : Barlowe


Like I said before spoilers! Your probably wondering why Barlowe is going into the files, that reason being the fact he was a pain in my ass when I was fighting him. Back story time: Barlowe is the founder, leader, and "Spellmaster" of the Order of Ecclesia. He is the one who created the triad of Dominus Glyphs, and tasks you with hunting Albus and retrieving Dominus. After you do all of that ( and hopefully rescue all of the villagers), you go abck to Ecclesia headquarters, and surprise surprise, he turns out to be working to resurrect Dracula and wants you dead to gain Dominus. As the aforementioned "spellmaster", he has several magic attacks and a devastating Captain Falcon inspired dashing punches ( seriously, what's with these human boss characters and having Smash bros inspired attacks, WTF!). The spells include Holy Truth, which comprises of him throwing his spell books, which forms an electric cage around him and he zooms across the stage, a spell that turns the books into tracking fireballs, a spell that when he lands for a few seconds, drops a book that freezes you solid, and if you get caught in the ice, he'll electrocute you. He'll also use the Globus glyph, which is a ricocheting energy attack, as with Acerbatus it can be absorbed and used later. It also leads to Dracula's Castle being called from the darkness after he offers himself as a sacrifice. Also here's the battle theme if your interested.




Boss :Death
Picture not available

For veterans or anyone in general who's played a Castlevania game can tell you that Death ( along with the Lord of Evil himself) is always in the series as a one of the last two bosses. When I fought Death, I lost, a lot. He uses sickles, assorted dark spells, and his scythe. One attack that definitely caught me off gaurd was the circle slash and the circling energy attack thing, as well as the concentrated sickle blast. The thing that threw me off about it was the fact that Death almost never used his scythe for our battle, apparently he didn't think Shanoa was worth slicing up like bits of meat. When Defeated, you gain the SInestro Custos glyph for your troubles.


Final Boss: Dracula


Ah, Dracula. You have caused this rookie vampire killer way too much trouble over the last two weeks. The final boss of Order of Ecclesia ( and every Castlevania game in the history of the series... okay most of them), I nearly chucked my DS across the room. Yeah, he was that hard. After the somewhat weird conversation, you start the fight. His attacks include shooting a barrage of fire balls, Dark Inferno and Fatal Ray as the first phase. What surpised me was the fact that the named attacks were what 2 of the 3 Dominus glyphs were based off of. After that was the second (and most rage-inducing) part of the fight. After saying the "time for games is over", he'll use a tracking variant of Fatal Ray called Destruction Ray, call upon wolves and THOSE FUCKING BATS!!! (Sorry, that's the rage talking), and the very irritating Soul Steal which steals 240 HP. As with Death, I had the feeling he wasn't taking the fight seriously. The thing the tipped me was the fact that he didn't resort to transforming into that giant monster thing he usually does when fighting a Belmont. After Using Dominus on him you beat the Game. Also, here's the boss theme if you like. Would you kindly listen to it.




That's it for this very "first themed" entry of The Boss Files. I pretty much finished Castlevania Order of Ecclesia, and I have a question: What DS Game Should I Get Next ? Check back next weekend for another look at the most intimidating bosses this side of gaming.
P.S Thank You for allowing me to waste your time.

Hello, again. As you can see from the title, this is the second entry to my new series Boss Files. After gaining
a lot of positive feedback from the community ( and by that I mean that the 8 people who took the time to read
it and comment) I've decided to keep going with this. Now Since we are going sort of in depth on boss
characters, I don't want to repeat myself but SPOILER WARNING ! SPOILER WARNING! SPOILER WARNING!
The reason why I just did that is because there are people who don't like plot details ruined for them as
opposed to me who reads up a game's story on wikipedia and forgets about it 'cause I buy the game 6-12
months after its released. We are going to see another DMC4 Boss, One from the later portions of Kingdom
Hearts and One from Castle Crashers. If you didn't see spoiler warning I put up or if you just have a short
attention span ( which would be most of you) there are spoilers ahead in the form of the bosses you fight. if
you didn't read that, then I can't help you. Close the browser. Turn off your computer and walk away. Enough
talk! Let's get this show on the road!




Boss: Angelo Agnus
Game: Devil may Cry 4



The sentence " What the fuck is that, a giant bug?" must have been going through Dante's head when they
were fighting. Absurd character design aside, Agnus is balls hard. When not trying to kill demon slayers,
he's the Order of the Sword's chief Alchemist and Technology Researcher. He's also the collective
mastermind and all round jackass behind many of the artificial demons you fight throughout game ( the Bianco
Angelo and Alto Angelo in particular). When playing as Dante, you have to fight your way back to Fortuna
(destroying lesser gates and acquiring some bad ass Devil Arms in the process), and along the way fight The
aforementioned pain in the ass. The reason Why I'm only doing the fight as Dante is because it has the
funniest pre-boss cutscene in the history of gaming. Its so random, that it'll leave you scratching your head
afterward.

The battle itself consists of Agnus using all of the tricks he used when you fought him in Mission 9. These
consist of him summoning Basilisk heads as projectiles, Gladius Demons for some quick swipes, and when
things really difficult for him, calling two Cutlass demons to throw as boomerangs. When you beat him you get
the Darkslayer fighting style for your troubles.


Boss: Riku
Game: Kingdom Hearts



You fight Riku 3 times over the course of the original Kingdom Hearts (one of my favorite games ever), one is
optional, and the other two are required to move the story along. but for those who've played it, one thing is
certain: They are all Balls Hard! I fully acknowledge that the original Kingdom Hearts was almost frustratingly
difficult, but the last fight with him in particular is the hardest boss fight in the game (next to Sephiroth). See
that sword he's holding? That is the Dark Keyblade. It can unlock the darkness within someone's heart (I
know it weird, but stay with me), and make them more powerful ( I think its been awhile since I last played).
He obtains it after getting possessed by the Heartless of Ansem. But enough of the backstory, let's get to the
nitty-gritty.

He's got the simple sword attacks, fireballs,and assorted dark spell things. But, he can also create sickles of
energy that do alot of damage,and the obligatory overpowered super attack! Goody! Said super attack is him
glowing from the waist up , rises into the air, starts zooming across the arena, and ends with a massive
shock wave ( a cliche I'd love to kill). I died within the range of 20-40 times that fight (a rough guesstimate).
Oh, as an added kick to the family jewels, You don't have Donald and Goofy to save your ass in this one. I
recommend using either the Olympia, Metal Chocobo, and if your really felling ballsy, the Oathkeeper
keyblades.


Boss: The Necromancer
Game: Castle Crashers



As you can probably tell, the Necromancer is one of the last bosses in Castle Crashers ( Buy it if you haven't
already, you'll thank me later). WHile you encountr the Necromancer a few times of the latter half of the game,
Its not until the final area that you truly get to see his full power. After fighting the Painter and the Undead
Cyclops, you'll find yourself in his personal dungeon. Its littered with the corpses of fallen enemies from
throughout you adventure, and this is where the battle begins. As the name suggests, The Necromancer is
an incredibly powerful sorcerer skilled in the Dark Arts. He has the ability to resurrect the bodies of the dead
to do his bidding as undead monster ( skeleton warriors and The undead Cyclops) or as a complete replica of
their former, albeit much more powerful. The "Necro" uses the latter option against you for this fight, and after
dispatching two waves of his " uber- warriors, he'll deal with you personally. On top of his magical
badassery, he's also a skilled sword fighter. These all come together to make an epic battle, and the Best
boss fight in Castle Crashers. Also The Battle theme is pure win!

Well, that's all for now Dtoiders, the main reason why I didn't have this up sooner is because of classes,
Valkyria Chronicles (again Thank You unangbangkay!) and all round lazieness.

P.S Thank you for allowing me to waste your time, and That image of the Necromancer was the first thing I
saw on Google Image Search. I'm not Joking.

P.S.S That's All, Folks!

Ah, bosses. What would gaming be like if you were never conceived. On second thought, as much as I would enjoy imagining that lets get to the matter at hand. Boss Battles have been in games since before the days of the Power Glove. They are generally created with the objectives of testing our skills, giving us new weapons/powers, or to just plain anger-incudingly hard (ala Colonel Radec) . I'm gonna show you through this (hopefully) limited series of some of(what I think are) gaming's more ruthless boss characters in recent memory. OK, now that the intro out of the way lets get the inaugural edition of Boss Files underway!


Boss: Albus
Game: Castlevania: Order of Ecclesia



First up in the files is Albus. He may not look like much ( Flintlock Pistol not withstanding ), but Albus will kick you ass six way from Sunday. No joke. He, along with Shanoa ( Order of Ecclesia's protagonist) were trained by the aforementioned organization in the use of glyphs, which manifested as weapons and spells. What sets him apart from the other bosses in the 1st half of the game was the fact that he was just as fast as you were, and twice as lethal.

You know the pistol he's holding, aside from shooting boring old regular bullets, it can also shoot magic energy. He can also pull off a Captain Falcon inspired fiery kick of death, infuse a glyph on one of his shots and and freeze you solid. Top it all off with speed on par with yours and you've got yourself a serious contender for the Badass of The Month Club (at least in my eyes). I literally died 20 times trying to fight him, but when you finally topple him, you get the final piece of Dominus ( and the Acerbactus glyph if your quick enough) for your troubles.



Boss: Angelo Credo
Game: Devil May Cry 4



Next we have Credo. As with Dante and Vergil before them, Nero and Credo are as different as day and night. While the former is somewhat of a reckless loose cannon, the latter prefers to do things strictly by the book. Because of this, he was made the Captain of The Holy Knights by Sanctus aka "His Holiness" ( who's essentially the pope).

When Sancuts orders him to arrest Nero, Credo being the by the book kind of mook he is, complies. After navigating your way through a dense jungle and fighting a nasty She-Viper, you wind up at an arena near the entrance of the headquarters for The Order of the Sword (the oranization/cult that worships Sparda, Dante's father). One slightly exposition filled cutscene later and Credo turns into a badass one-winged demon thing with a shield for a right arm somehow capable of flight.

Personally speaking, this is the best Boss fight in Devil May Cry 4. While the others required you to adopt one strategy that worked for the whole fight, Credo had multiple attacks that needed various strategies to overcome. But don't worry, you'll have Yamato on your side ( Vergil's katana that activates the Devil Trigger for Nero), along with all the useful combos you hopefully bought in between missions. It also made me use the pistol to keep him at range, wait for openings, and make me use my brain for this boss fight. And the finishing Devil Trigger buster Move is awesome as well.

Well, that's all for now folks, I can't keep going right now because I need sleep ( its 3 am at the time of writing).Also, I finally figured out how to properly get pictures into the blogs ( I know I fail) So long!

P.S thank you for allowing me to waste your time on something else and I'm open to suggestions for Boss Files.